Death Knows My Name (Memory Keepers) (3 page)

“You called me his name. You said it with such devotion. I told myself that one day I would hear my name come from your lips like that.”

I froze. I realized what he was telling me. Did he in some way care about me, love me? Is that why he had been stalking me all this time? After all he has taken from me, did it even matter how he felt? For some reason that I did not want to explain even to myself, it did matter. As much as I didn’t want to, I did care. I murmured to myself, unaware of what I was saying. “Vengeance is mine, Sayeth the Lord.”

He eyed me with renewed attention. “Yes?”

“Oh nothing. Just something that came into my mind.”

He appeared hopeful. “Something you read?”

“The Bible?” I answered.

“Look at me.” Something in his voice compelled me and drew me in. My eyes focused on him without thought. My breath caught. I read it on his face, on his tattoos.
Vengeance is mine Sayeth the Lord
. He knew I saw it.

He nodded. “And thus I am.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s Angelican. Ectain Edeck means ‘Vengeance is mine, Sayeth the Lord.’ And thus, I am His, so I do His will above my own. I took your parents, your brother, Devon’s brother, your friends, boyfriends, people who would not be remembered and passed on but through you. You remember them. Every. Single. One.”

“And now you’ve come for Devon?” My voice was slow and flat to match his.

“I told you I just saw your name, the Keeper. Our list is broken up into categories, grouped by who the keeper is. The name I am to call doesn’t appear until just before.”

“Devon is all I know.” My voice was soft, a mere whisper.

The fury that flashed in his eyes came as a surprise. “Only because you refuse to do your job. I do mine, start doing yours.” He slapped his hand down on the table, his fork clanked against the plate.

I was taken aback. “Oh, like you have the hard part. Mister, ‘all I have to do is kill people I’ve never met and will never see again.’ You see these people one time and move on! I know these people! I will remember them for the rest of my life! I’m not even able to escape in my sleep because guess what? I don’t dream. I relive all those memories. Not remember, but relive them—one after another after another, back to back to back until I’ve been through them all. And, oh god, don’t let me sleep in or it starts all over. Then I wake up and they’re gone. I have to deal with losing them all over again. Everyday I’m left to mourn them like it’s new. Every single morning of every single day.

“At night my parents are tucking me in before they head out to a party. Every night, I am told they won’t be coming home. I am laughing with my brother. We’re hiding in the dark closet from our foster dad, and I’m coming home to find he is gone too. I am lying in the arms of a lover—that’s when I can no longer take it—and . . .” I let my voice trail off.

He spoke. “That’s when you can no longer take it and I call your name just to wake you.”

I inhaled sharply, in shock. So that was real. I always hear my name being called and a feeling of being released into freedom before I am slammed back down into my body, awake. It was Eric’s voice that sounds like my name is caressing his lips. It was always just a whisper. And always just enough to wake me. I took a deep breath to calm myself and made myself continue. “Yes, so please excuse me if I push everyone away so I don’t have to add their deaths to my count.”

“Does it really matter? You are missing out on your sister’s and her kids’ lives, the joys and all those things that come with letting people get to know you.”

“I am saving them!”

“Saving them from what? You aren’t cursed. That’s not how it works. If it were, why Devon? You keep him around. Why?” His voice had a hint of bitterness that I almost missed.

“He . . . he has lost enough because of me. We are all that’s left. So if you expect me to be okay with losing him because it’s my so-called duty then you don’t know me at all. I will
never
be okay with it. I get what you are telling me. I really do. In theory. I get it, everybody has to die. That doesn’t mean I want to be sitting across from the person who is responsible for ruining my life on numerous occasions. You were right, I do think you are a monster.” My voice faltered with emotion, ending in a whisper. I stood up from my chair, knocking it into the person sitting behind me.

“I-I’m sorry.” I murmured my apology.

Eric started to stand.

“Please. Don’t. Don’t follow me.”

He froze briefly, his eyes sad. My traitorous heart almost relented. He nodded once. I hurried away from Eric as fast as I could. Away from his warm, fluid, yellow eyes and warmer calming voice that caused conflicting turmoil inside me. I told myself not to look back but once I got to the door and far enough away from him, I did. Right into his burgundy eyes.

Chapter 3

He started to turn from me. “Mayne.” His voice was strained and I had to struggle to hear him, but still it was the most calming sound I’ve ever heard. “I need you to get out of here.”

I rushed back toward the table. “Is someone going to die?” I whispered, trying to get him to face me. Someone behind me coughed before he could answer.

I turned around just as all hell broke loose. People at a nearby table were frantic and one of the women called for help. I jerked my head back toward Eric. He was breathing deeply with his eyes closed, still trying to ignore me.

“No,” I whispered. I nudged Eric away as I ran over to the table. People crowded around the now gasping man. It was so crowded around him that I had to push my way through.

“Here. Let me help.” I began moving chairs out of the way. “Lay him down here,” I told his tablemates. “Is it a heart attack?”

The woman closest to me answered. “Asthma.”

“Everybody, I need for you all to step back. Give him some room, please. And somebody call an ambulance.” I took a breath. Shit. I was in over my head.

“Is there a doctor, nurse, or anyone here that can help?”

No one answered. Great, how come in movies there is always a well-certified bystander, but this poor guy gets me and my lunch date, Death himself.

I kneeled beside the wheezing man. “Sir, this sounds silly but I need you to try and stay as calm as possible. Concentrate on your next breath. Focus. Listen to me. 1,2,3, breathe in. 3,2,1, let it out.” I rubbed his arm in what I hoped was comfort. “That’s it. You are doing just perfect. Breathe in. 3,2,1, let it out.”

I felt Eric squat behind me. “I can’t . . . I can’t do this with you here. Just go. Please.”

“Hell no. You can’t have him.”

“Mayne—”

“Did you know?” I asked harshly. It was more of an accusation than a question.

“What?” Eric asked, sounding hurt.

“Did you choose this place because of him?”

Eric stood up. “Pau—”

I quickly cut him off, whispering forcefully in the dying man’s ear. “Focus on me. Nobody else. 1,2,3, breathe.”

The ambulance pulled up right then and paramedics rushed to us to take over. I retreated, visibly shaken, as the paramedics did their job. Eric was nowhere to be found. I suspected he was pissed at me. I didn’t like it, but what was I supposed to do?

I was still shaken by the time I got home. Even stopping at the store to get food for dinner hadn’t helped. I had so many feelings boiling inside of me. Anger, the most dominant. I had lost so much and now to learn that I would lose more? Not only that but it was my Heaven-given job? Where could I turn in my two weeks’ notice? Eric trying to guilt me into doing the job like I had an actual choice made my rage almost unbearable. I hadn’t asked for this, I hadn’t been asked, and I didn’t want it! A scream built in my chest.

I liked Eric almost as much as I needed to hate him.
Damn it.

I decided to call my sister for nothing more than a distraction.

“Signeey residence.”

When I heard Becca’s chipper voice and the high-pitched squeal of little girls in the background, I smiled.

“Hey, how are you and the family?”

“Well if it isn’t my sister, what was her name? Miami? Mississippi? Oh, I can’t remember.”

“Very funny. I almost forgot to laugh. Ha Ha.”

“We’re good. They miss you.”

“I miss them, too. I think of them all the time. Granted, it’s hard not to when every time my phone rings I hear the ringtone they set up.”

Becca laughed. “What did they give you? Wow, wow, wubzy?”

“Worse, The Wonder Pets.”

“Lucky. I got Yo Gabba, Gabba!”

I laughed. “Remind me to thank Aurora and Anya for mine! I guess they do love me.”

“They miss you, too”

“Don’t start. I love you, them, too. But I’m trying to protect everyone.”

“Oh yes, from your death curse,” she mocked.

“I almost had a guy die right before my eyes today.”

“Oh. Are you okay? Dumb question, of course you aren’t okay.”

“I’m good. I just called to check in. Give everyone my love.”

“Wait. You didn’t call just to chitchat so don’t just try and hang up. What’s up?”

“Have you ever met someone who makes you feel torn in two? Someone you have every reason to hate because he’s done horrible things but some part of you
won’t
hate him.”

“Oh, this sounds like a baby daddy situation. Did he knock you up? Babies: the gift from sex that keeps on giving.”

“Pretty sure that is herpes.”

“Ewl, did the bastard give you herpes? Yeah, hate him!”

“Come on, I’m being serious! Could you ever forgive a man who you blame for every single thing wrong in your life?”

I could pretty much see Becca nibbling on her bottom lip in thought before she finally responded. “That depends, M-state, is he really the cause or is he just convenient to blame?”

“He isn’t convenient to blame. I wish I didn’t.” Oh how I wish. In any other circumstance I would probably really like him. He was kind and not to mention sinfully sexy. Despite the confusion inside of me I had to admit to myself that more than a little part of me wanted to see him again. The small rational part of me found it disgusting.

“What’s going on?”

I sighed. “There is this guy who has possibly the worst job ever. A job that hurts people—”

“Cut and run.”

“He wants me to— I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

“No it isn’t. If he hurts you once, it’s never going to change. Cut and run.”

“You’re right. God, I
know
you’re right.”

“Then why are you arguing this?”

“Rebecca, This guy is so
different
than his job. He is nothing like it. He is actually kind and endearing and—”

“Except when he’s hurting people? Mayne, they’re always kind. That’s how bad people work. Charm on the outside, snake on the inside. A tree shall be known by the fruit it bears.”

“Did you just quote New Testaments?”

“Yes. I think you needed a little Jesus to knock sense into you.”

I didn’t know what to say. Rebecca was right, the non-idiot part of me was right, but all I kept thinking of was his calming voice. Everything about him seemed to soothe.

“I get it. If it’s a problem now, it’s only going to get bigger, not disappear.”

“Exactly. Damn, you have the worst taste in guys, I think,
ever
in history of the world!”

After a few more jokes at my expense, we hung up. Although talking to my sister helped a lot, I was still pretty shaken about what Eric told me and about the guy who almost died in my arms. I had no way of knowing if that poor man died and whether Eric took him or not.

Tired of thinking about Eric, memory keeping, angels of death, and how damn sexy the person who ruined my life was, I started to prepare dinner. I rarely actually cook anymore. I usually just settle for chips and a soda but that would leave me with too much time to think. Thinking was the last thing I wanted to do.

I checked the movie in my queue for tonight.
City of Angels
. Well, crap. Butterflies filled my stomach at the thought of Eric, and then something fluttered a little lower. Oh god, this wasn’t good. This could only lead to disaster. I pointed my finger in scolding as I looked down at myself.

“Now you cut that out, there will be none of that.” I went back to cooking.

The chopped vegetables were in the wok with the chicken as I put the water on to boil for the rice. I heard a knock at the door. Assuming it would be Devon, I was ready to bitch about how shitty my day was.

I flung open the door, surprised to see Eric. “You used the door.”

“It’s called manners. Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

“Didn’t know you needed an invitation.”

“I don’t. I’m not a vampire. It’s that manners thing again,” he said curtly, stepping around me.

I stood there with the door open.

“Aren’t you going to close the door?”

When I made no move to, he reached past me and shut it.

“I had hoped I’d never be seeing you again.” I lied. “Besides, I figured you’d be mad at me.”

“I am beyond mad. Try pissed off.”

“Okay, pissed off or not, I really had no choice. I’m—”

“Do you even know what you did today? I asked one thing from you and you wouldn’t do it. You had a choice. There is always a choice and you made it.”

I sighed. “The point is, I’m sorry!”

“I deal in bottom lines. And the bottom line is—”

“The bottom line is I screwed you. Don’t you understand that I cannot just let you kill people in front of me? Don’t you understand how much that hurts? This guy today was a stranger but those people before—Eric, I believed it was my fault because of you. Every guy I slept with—”

“You weren’t supposed to sleep with
every
guy you met in a bar! That is on you.”

“Fuck you!”

He lifted his brow. “Isn’t that your problem?”

“Woah! Woah, woah, woah. Don’t you come in here and judge me. You don’t have the right. How I deal with my pain is my business. Is that what this is about? The creepy stalker Angel of Death got jealous?”

“Who I call is never my pick. It is your lot in life to keep memories and mine to call souls.”

“I cannot believe you called me a slut?” It was off subject but I was still pissed off about it.

“Did not!”

“Bullshit. You did a damn good job of implying it.”

“You are right.” He rubbed his hand through his hair, and I saw remorse in his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

I sighed, relenting. “And I am sorry for screwing up your job today at lunch.”

“I don’t blame you. In all my existence, never once have I not done the Will of God. When others were falling, I stood strong and tall on the line of good and evil. When I let that soul go because I couldn’t stand to see the look on your face if that man were to die in your arms, I found myself compromising everything with you.”

I finally looked up at him. His eyes were back to the warm honey that I loved. Wait, no. I loved nothing about this guy.

“I don’t want you to choose between not hurting me and loyalty because you have some sort of unhealthy crush on me. I will always lose. I know that.”

His eyes locked on mine. “Are you sure the two are not the same now? Because I’m not.”

Fire burned through me, and I wanted him. Every part of him. If there was an option that he could be mine, I wanted that option. I wanted him to belong to me, to have him with me forever. Day in, day out, mine. But I knew when it came down to it we’d always have something between us. Today’s events would be a daily occurrence. But for tonight there was only him, staring me in my eyes with his liquid light ones that threatened to drown me, saying these perfect, perfect things.

I pushed those reckless thoughts aside. “Why are you here, Eric?”

“I wanted to see if you were okay. I didn’t come to fight with you.”

“Then maybe you should leave because that’s all I have for you. It’s all I have left.”

“You have a lot more in you. A lot more.”

His arms slipped around my waist and pulled me into him.

I put my hand on his cheek and leaned up to meet his tender kiss. It deepened. His body arced warm and solid against me, and I was a puddle.

He drew back from our kiss. I used the time to catch my breath. I should slap him and tell him to get the hell out of my apartment, no get the hell out of my
life
. Then he looked at me and the fire that was already burning blazed. An out of control inferno raged under my skin. I just wanted him, every inch, all over me.

“Eric, kiss me,” I whispered to him.

A slow smile formed on his wickedly handsome face. Our lips were only a breath apart. He held them there. His hands made their way to my head and into my black curls. He gently tilted my head up until my face was turned up to his.

What the hell are you doing?
my mind screamed at me, but my body wasn’t listening.

“Tell me to kiss you again.”

“Kiss me, Eric.”

He closed the distance between our lips. The passion behind his kiss hit me. It flowed through him and became mine. Eric led us toward the table. The edge bumped against the back of my thigh. Eric lifted me up with ease and no hesitation.

Holy shit, did he really picked me up?

I sighed softly into his mouth as he stepped smoothly into place between my thighs. He leaned me back slightly, holding me up with his arm as he blazed a trail of hot kisses down my throat. His tongue swirled in small, seductive circles in the hollow beneath my earlobe. I let my head fall back in complete pleasure. His free hand found its way into my hair. His fingers massaged my scalp in erotic pulses. My hands were behind me holding me up and my arms trembled. I opened my legs wider and tried to scoot to the edge to get what I wanted from him.

He shifted back, untangling himself from me. His hands went to the bottom of his shirt and he slipped it over his head. His chest and stomach made my body ache with need. His abs were flat and I wanted to lick things off of it, yummy, naughty things. While I may have been deliciously distracted, he was not. He moved to my shirt, and the thin fabric was over my head before I realized it.

He stepped into me again and continued his kisses, his amazing, intoxicating kisses. He slowly kissed and licked down my neck and chest until he reached the top of my breast. His hand slid around my back to my bra. He had the hook in his hand and was about to snap it open. I was already imagining all the things his wonderful mouth had in store for me.