Deborah Camp (21 page)

“I want you,” he whispered. “All I can think about is you—the shape of your hands, the color of your eyes, the way your mouth flowers under mine.”

His lips dipped lower, down her throat and across her collarbone. Lower. His hands supported her breasts and lifted them. He met her gaze and his eyes were smoky with desire. One corner of his mouth quirked and then he took her left breast into his mouth, wetting the fabric of her gown. He suckled hard, and shooting stars of pleasure arced through her. Then his tongue smoothed over her flaming nipple, and sensations, new and overwhelming, covered her like fiery sparks.

Shocked and scared of her own body’s reactions, Elise tore herself from him and put a chair between them. He stood facing her, legs apart, arms slightly out from his sides, hands open and ready to gather her to him again. Elise shook her head.

“Don’t deny me now, woman.”

Woman
. He couldn’t even call her by her name! She wished to smite him with her damning glare. “Say my name,” she ordered fiercely.

He tipped his head at a curious angle. “What?”

“Say it. My name.”

Understanding erased the frown lines from between his eyes. His lips parted. He moistened them with his magical tongue. “Elise Lonewolf.” Rough velvet, his voice, and her name had never sounded so sinful.

“It’s about time,” she told him, gripping the back of the chair.

“You think you can play with me like a cat plays with a mouse? You think you can light me like a lamp and blow me out just like that? Is that what you did to the men in Baltimore?”

“The men in Baltimore never placed their mouths on my bosom!”

“Light in the brains, I guess.”

“No, they just knew I wouldn’t permit it.”

He came forward with catlike steps. “We need to understand each other better, you and me.”

Elise gripped the chair more tightly as he came to stand beside her, shoulder to shoulder.

“Elise?” His voice was a warm breeze against her face. She could do nothing but look up into a face that haunted her dreams and nearly every waking hour.

“Yes?”

“I am a man.”

“Yes.”

“And I will take what a woman offers.”

“Yes.”

“So …” He palmed her breast again, smiling when she jerked backward. “Don’t offer it unless you want me to take it.”

Her mouth was dry, but she made herself speak. “You can’t just grab me, throw me down and have your way. I’m your wife, not a saloon tart!”

“Yes, you
are
my wife.” His gaze remained on her breasts. Elise glanced down and felt her face flame. Her gown was damp over her nipple—damp from his mouth and tongue.

“You’re right to expect certain things from me,” she said, her voice sounding weak and shaky. Did he have to look at her with such hunger? How to explain to him that she wanted him but was afraid … afraid of not doing the right thing, of not pleasing him. “Being with you is … well, it’s my duty as your wife, isn’t it?”

In an instant the hunger in his eyes was replaced by the blaze of rage. “
Duty
.” He almost spit the word in her face. “Don’t talk to me of duty!” His voice emerged like thunder and his face grew red with fury. He smacked the wall behind her with the flat of his hand.

Elise blinked, startled by his quick temper. She heard Penny whimper.

“Elise? What’s that? Elise!” Penny called.

“Go on,” Blade growled. “Get back in there. Go!”

Elise retreated into the bedroom and closed the door on Blade’s furious expression. Good Lord! What had she said?

“Elise, what’s wrong?” Penny asked, sitting up in bed.

“If only I knew.” Elise wrung her hands. “Go back to sleep. Everything’s all right.”

“Why was Blade yelling?”

“I don’t know. Go back to sleep, Pen.” Elise listened, but heard nothing on the other side of the door. After another few minutes, she peeked out into the main room. Blade was gone.

Back to his blasted tepee
, she thought. She’d come to despise that thing. Lying back on her bed, she reviewed the past few minutes of her life. She felt hot and achy, and her breasts and lower limbs seemed heavy and full. Her pulses thrummed.

Why did he take umbrage with everything she said to him?

She glared at the moon floating in the dark blue sky and wished she could learn not to talk so much. Every time she talked to Blade, she pushed him farther away, when all she wanted was to be closer to him.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” Blade watched as James and Mary packed up their belongings with practiced efficiency. “I thought you were going to stay until the cotton was planted.”

“You don’t like much. You can do the rest.” James handed Mary a bedroll to tie on their pack horse.

“Why are you leaving so suddenly?” Blade spread out his arms. “Why are you in such a hurry?”

“You don’t want us to stay to help you plant,” Mary said in her flat, no-nonsense way.

“What are you talking about? Of course I want you to stay.” He glanced back at the cabin. “I was only kidding about you two being noisy at night. I’m glad your marriage is satisfying.”

“You need time to yourself,” Mary said, exchanging quick smiles with James. “We think it is better if we leave so that you and your new wife can be alone.”

Blade settled his hands at his waist and glowered at them as they prepared to go. “Now stop this. You’re staying until all the seeds are sown.”

“You’re jealous,” Mary stated unflinchingly.

“I am not jealous,” Blade argued hotly. “Jealous of what, anyway? You talk in riddles.”

James placed a hand on his shoulder. “Cousin, I have tried to counsel you. I have tried to help you sort through your problems and your feelings, but I’ve failed. It’s time we go so that you and your wife can talk. While we are here, you spend too much of your idle time with us and leave your wife and new child alone in the cabin.” He squeezed Blade’s shoulder. “That isn’t good, cousin. You must make family ties if you want to keep them here with you.”

Blade ran a hand through his hair, irritation rising in him like a black moon. “She won’t be happy here,” he murmured for James’s ears only. “She lived in a big house with servants. She stays here only for her sister. She stays because of duty.”

“For now,” James said. “Things can change.”

“She likes you,” Mary added, moving closer to eavesdrop. “You like her, too. You think she’s pretty. I’ve seen you looking at her.”

“Yes, I’ve looked. I’m a man.” He shrugged, dismissing the observation. “And when I touch her, she bolts like a filly.”

“Once she’s used to your touch, she won’t.” Mary glanced at her husband and smiled. “She is probably more afraid of what you make her feel
than she is of you. I was that way with James at first.”

“Yoo-hooo!” Elise stepped out onto the porch and waved to them. “Breakfast!”

Mary walked toward the porch. “We are leaving. Can we take some biscuits and meat with us to eat later?”

“Leaving?” Elise’s expression was crestfallen as she came down the steps to Mary. “But you can’t! What’s wrong? Why are you leaving so quickly, and without warning?” She looked past Mary to Blade. “Did something happen?”

“No use begging them,” Blade said, frowning. “They are determined to go, although I need James to help me finish planting.”

“It’s better if we are on our way.” Mary smoothed her hands over her rounded stomach. “I miss my children and I must take care of the one growing in me. I want to be home before I become too large.”

Blade shook his head. Excuses! Mary and James had come here fully intending to stay until after the cotton was planted, but now they had it in their heads that they were keeping him from Elise. He could tell by their shuttered expressions that he wouldn’t be able to convince them otherwise. With a muttered oath, he picked up the bundle of poles that had supported their lodge and carried them to the pack horse.

“Don’t waste your breath arguing with them,” he told Elise. “Give them some biscuits and sliced smoked ham.”

Mary nodded. “That will taste good later on the trail.”

Elise looked from Mary to Blade and threw up her hands. “This is so sudden, I … Very well.” She
placed an arm around Mary’s shoulders and mounted the steps with her to the porch. “I do wish you’d stay a while longer, but I understand your desire to be home again …”

Her voice drifted away as she and Mary entered the house. Ah, yes, she can certainly understand that, Blade thought bitterly. Home for her would always be Baltimore, but duty would keep her anchored on his farm.

“I spit on duty,” he murmured.

“What, cousin?” James asked, peering curiously at him.

“Nothing.” He embraced James in a farewell hug. “Sometimes I wish I could go with you to the reservation.”

James leaned back, gripping Blade’s upper arms, an understanding smile spreading across his lips. “You have seeds to sow here, Lonewolf. Many seeds.”

Blade shook his head, catching his cousin’s double meaning. Laughing, they packed the Walking-birds’ belongings and strapped them to the three sturdy ponies.

S
itting at the table with Penny, Elise shared glasses of milk and oatmeal cookies with her while Penny rattled on about what had happened at school that day and how much she missed James and Mary.

“I miss them, too,” Elise said, resting her chin in her hand with a sigh. “Today seemed to last forever. It’s hours before dark, but I feel as if it should be dark already. I kept busy, but I also found myself wanting to talk to Mary.”

“She’s nice,” Penny agreed. “And she knows so many things. Sewing and tanning and cooking. I bet she was homesick for her children, though.”

“Yes. Do you ever get homesick anymore, Pen?”

Penny wiped off a milk mustache and grinned. “Not like I used to. If I had to leave now, I’d cry.”

“You would?” Elise asked, surprised by her sister’s turnabout. Just a few days ago Penny had been sad-faced and wanting to go back to Baltimore!

“I like my teacher and I like Blade. I like having you as my mother. I like the way I talk now.” Her grin widened. “And I love my new kittens and chicks. They need me to help take care of them,
’Lise. I’ve got to feed them now and make sure they have fresh water. Oh, I never had such fun in Baltimore!”

Elise watched in amazement as Penny sprang up from her chair and skipped toward their bedroom to change out of her school clothes and into one of the simple dresses that had been fashioned from Dixie’s old bedsheets. Mary had embroidered them and Elise had added roses made from ribbons. Penny loved them better than her store-bought clothes.

Envying her sister, Elise wished she could settle in so snugly. But something held her back, and that something was Blade Lonewolf. Until he opened his heart to her, she’d always feel as if she didn’t quite fit in.

Being wanted physically by him wasn’t enough. She wanted him to want her in every way. Couldn’t he understand that? Why couldn’t he see that all this was new to her and that she only needed him to go slower? But maybe she was wrong to expect that from him. She was used to men in waistcoats, men who were slaves to society’s expectations. She wasn’t used to a man like Blade who acted on his instincts, who didn’t ask permission but simply let passion rule. To be honest, that was one of the many things she found exciting about him. It was her own tumultuous feelings that frightened her the most. She couldn’t think when she was around him. Maybe that was good. Maybe that was how it was supposed to be between a man and a woman who were meant for each other.

Heavy footfalls sounded on the steps and porch; then Blade burst into the room, his eyes wide and full of energetic sparkle.

“Penny!” he called, before his frenetic gaze fell on Elise. “Where’s Penny?”

“Changing cloth—”

“Here I am!” Penny ran out of the bedroom. She buttoned the last fastener at the collar of her dress, one that Dixie had dyed sky blue.

“Come with me.” Blade beckoned her to follow, then motioned to Elise, too. “Both of you. Janie’s foaling!”

“Yippeee!” Penny dashed past him.

“Is she all right?” Elise asked, hurrying after Penny and Blade.

“So far.” He broke into a lope, and Elise ran after him into the barn and to the horse stalls at the back.

Janie lay on her side in a deep bed of fresh hay. Her dappled gray hide was wet and her sides ballooned like bellows. Penny stroked her black mane and murmured encouragement. At the other end, Blade examined the mare’s progress.

“She’s close,” he said, glancing up at Elise, who stood near him. “You’re not going to faint, are you?”

Annoyed by his poor opinion of her, Elise released an exasperated sigh. “I helped in the delivery of Penny, I’ll have you know. Papa went for the doctor, but they didn’t return in time. I followed Mama’s instructions and had the cord cut and Penny washed and swaddled in blankets by the time Papa got there with the doctor.” She lifted a brow at his look of astonishment. “I’m not as useless as you think.”

He had the good grace to grimace before turning away from her. Janie whimpered, low and taxing. Blade rested a hand on her bulging stomach. Penny stroked the mare’s mane.

“That’s right, Penny. You stay there and hold her
head. Pet her and tell her she’s doing just fine.” Blade slipped a hand inside the horse.

“Is it in position?” Elise asked, dropping to her knees beside him.

“Yes. Everything seems okay.” He removed his hand and wiped it and his forearm on a rag. “I suppose all we can do is wait.”

Elise nodded and made herself more comfortable by drawing her knees up to her chin and wrapping her arms around her skirt-covered legs. Blade stroked the mare’s side occasionally and kept a sharp eye on her progress.

“Penny and I were talking about how much we missed your cousins today.”

Blade nodded. “Me, too.”

“I was thinking that perhaps I can help you plant the rest of your crop.” She studied the rafters above her, but felt his perusal of her features.

“It’s hot, hard work.”

“I put in the vegetable garden by myself. I’ve seen children working in the fields, so I’m certain I could handle it. Penny could even help out on Saturdays.”