Debut for a Spy (32 page)

“
Yes. Three times.”

We were both silent. I wasn't sure that I wanted to hear more, and she seemed uncertain about continuing, but she took a breath and went on.

“Twice was only play-acting, pretending to hurt with instruments and whips. The sex is real, pain is not. But once… once I am there with beast. Only the foreigner and beast are in house.

“
It begins in normal way, so I am not prepared. I am tied, but too tight. I should know from this. He beats me, but very hard, and does perversions on my body for foreigner who watches. Then they use me for sex and do things on me I can't say it is so bad. They talk about disgusting ways to hurt me even more. I think beast wants to use a knife, but someone comes and it stops. This is worst for me.”

I was shaking.
“Who was this 'beast'?”

“
Szrubek. The man you kill in Paris. I was two weeks in hospital. I almost stop. I refuse to go to playroom again. I don't care what they say.”

Again I was quiet, emotions mixed with shock, disgust, and yet a perverse satisfaction that I had killed Szrubek. I couldn't sort anything out, let alone see anything clearly.

“And now, Marijke?” I asked, softly.

“
I can do this no more. My mind is not able to separate from my body. When I don't think I will love someone, it doesn't matter. Now that I feel love, I cannot. When I give myself to you, for the first time with love, it changes my life.”

“
Then explain last night.”

“
About last night, I am trapped. This man from West German embassy, he is about to give many things to Soviets. He will do this if he and friends can have me. He has become with obsession. I try to avoid this. I don't want to do it anymore. They plan for Monday, but I change it to be with you. He tells Nalishkin he won't wait until after cruise, and he says no one else takes my place. This is his price.

“Nalishkin tells me that I will be traitor, that I must do this for my country. If I don't, it becomes bad for my grandfather. They will send me back to Moscow and I become charged for refusing to obey order. I will be arrested. Nalishkin looks bad for failure with the German, so he threatens. I give in. I do it.”

I sat still, staring at my glass. I couldn't look Marijke in the eye, nor could I find words to say. Eventually she rose from her chair and started to leave, but stopped and turned back.

“Now you have life and death over my family. I tell you this so no more secrets. I want that you know I trust you. I am sorry I am not the person you think. And I am sorry I hurt you so much. I never want this. Goodbye.”

She left quickly without looking back.

I stared at my empty glass for a very long time.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Cherbourg
,
France
–
the
same
day

Back aboard the ship I was restless. I'd walked blindly through Cherbourg, and now I paced the boat deck. Most of the Soviets were still ashore, so I was quite alone. Occasionally I stopped to lean on the rail and stare at the water or a passing boat with unseeing eyes, or idly count the lifeboats in their davits over my head. My mind was in turmoil.

During one of the 'stop and lean' phases I was on the after part of the deck, staring absently at the tarpaulin-covered framework on the dark-shrouded promenade below at the stern. I caught that smell again, this time stronger, and with a jolt I knew what it was. It was as if someone had thrown a switch. One moment I was absorbed with my own emotions, everything else blocked out, and in an instant of recognition I had swept my problems aside. The enormity of my suspicions had to be checked out immediately.

The two sets of stairs down to the tourist promenade with the tarpaulin were blocked off by metal grills chained in place, so I went below to the enclosed promenade deck and walked aft.

There was a closed door preventing me from continuing to the stern, with a sign in Russian which I couldn't read. I began to fumble with the latch when a rating in uniform appeared to bark a challenge, which I also couldn't understand. But I did comprehend the Vz61 Skorpion machine pistol pointing at me.

“Sorry, sorry,” I stammered, “I didn't understand the sign.”

“
Entrance forbidden!” he shouted in English.

I backed off in a hurry. Going below to the purser's office in the entrance hall on A deck, I sought out the junior officer on duty and asked him where I could find Mr. Hicks, from the band. He looked at his crew accommodation list.

“His cabin C26. You must have permission for enter crew quarters. Why you go there?”

“
I must talk with him about the concert. I'm David Baird, the singer. Check with Mr. Nalishkin if you don't believe me.”

“
No. Is no problem. I have your name on list. I give you badge for visit crew quarters.”

I stuck it on my jacket and made my way down to the crew accommodations. I knocked on the door marked C26. Ben opened it.

“Well, well, guv'nor, wot brings you down to the slave quarters? Come in, then, and 'ave a drink.”

He poured me a generous scotch, neat. The curse of shipboard musicians.

“Cheers,” in chorus.

“
Ben, did anything unusual happen on the way across the Atlantic this time? Anything that sticks in your mind?”

He thought back.

“Naow, guv, nuffing coming across.”

That idea was dashed. Oh, well.

“But there was sumfing a little strange when we was in the channel last night.”

“
Tell me about it.”

“
Well, we was makin' for Southampton, but we must 'ave been a bloody 'ell of a ways off shore. I went out on deck an' couldn't see a bleedin' light. Then the word goes 'round that they're 'avin' a bit o' trouble with the steerin', so they 'ave to stop an' fix it. We was dead in the water.

“
While we're stopped, they tell us they've got an order to fumigate the 'ole bloody ship – that some sort of bug was picked up when the ship was in the West Indies, and we can't dock in Britain until it's been taken care of.”

“
What did they do?”

“
We 'ad to stay below until we was given the all clear.”

“
Do you remember the time?”

“
Not 'alf. We was sent down about 2100, and they didn't give the all clear until after 2300. About the same time as we got under way again. And I was right about the distance from land. We steamed near two hours before we got into the bleedin' Solent.”

I considered this information carefully.

“Did you see or hear anything?”

“
One 'ell of a racket from the stern. Sounded like the biggest 'oover in the world. They said it was a spray blower.”

“
What can you tell me about the tarpaulin over the frame on the tourist promenade at the stern of the promenade deck?”

“
It wasn't there until this morning. I asked about it and they said it was because of the fumigation. They had to keep a concentration of the DDT until it was clear. We was all told to keep well away so we didn't get any fumes. We've all noticed a strange smell since last night, like kerosene. What's up, David? Why the questions?”

“
I'm just curious about something, that's all. Sort of an amateur detective trying to put some pieces of a puzzle together. Nothing serious. But thanks for your help. I'll see you tomorrow in the Empress room at ten. Goodnight, Ben.”

I went back to my own stateroom and sat down to think. I needed some help, but I needed it on the inside. There was only one place to turn. I went to the cabin across the companionway and knocked. I had to wait a few minutes, but the door was opened a crack, and Marijke looked out.

“Oh! David! I… I don't expect to see you!”

“
I'm sorry to bother you. I need your help. May I come in?”

She stepped back to hold the door open, then shut it quickly.
I caught her eye, held a finger to my lips, then mimed the word 'microphone'.

“
No, none. I check every time I come in. Please, sit down. You have a problem?”

I sat, carefully weighing my words before I spoke.

“First, let me say that what I said to you in the dining room this morning was unforgivable. I apologize for my terrible behavior and my despicable words.”

“
No, don't say this. I understand how you feel.”

“
About the rest of it, Marijke. I'm having a hard time with what you've told me. I feel that the wind has been knocked out of me. I have no right to judge you, or what you do, or your reasons for doing them – none at all. At this moment I only know that I am very confused.

“
Canadians live a simple kind of life – almost puritanical in some ways. We don't know what it's like to live under oppression or fear – to have a government which is able to imprison, torture and murder whenever it wishes. We can't imagine your struggle and your sacrifices. When you tell me what you do, and why, my mind can understand, but my emotions are having a hard time keeping up.”

“
I am glad that you speak with me. I think you never want to see me again. I will understand.”

“
Marijke, I have never felt love for anyone as I feel for you, but it's not easy for me. Can you be patient with me?”

“
Oh… yes!”

We sat looking at each other with a new awareness. I loved her still, but could I ever accept what her allegiances had led her to? Little did I know how quickly I'd find out.

“David, you say you need help. What is wrong?”

“
There's something strange going on aboard this ship. Have you heard anything?”

“
Only laughter about some 'big joke' against British. I don't hear what it is.”

“
I've got to find out what's under a tarpaulin cover on the promenade deck. Do you know where I mean?”

“
Yes, I try to go there but the sign says it is forbidden. Maybe you can go when it is dark and look?”

“
No. There's an armed guard there and no way to get past him. I was hoping you might know what the canvas is covering.”

“
No, I don't. And I must be careful asking questions.”

She was obviously thinking about something.

“This is important, David?”

“
It may be very important. But I must know for certain what's under that cover.”

“
How many guard this?”

“
I only saw one.”

“
Is there another way to get on this deck?”

“
There are stairs from the boat deck and A deck, but I'll bet they're all blocked. I might be able to climb up over the rail if there's no one on A deck, but if the guard hears me or sees me I'd get shot for sure.”

Marijke was quiet.

“You must know this very badly?”

“
Yes, I think very badly.”

“
I can help you.”

“
How?”

“
I go talk to the guard by the door. You climb up and look.”

“
He'll hear me.”

She gave me a strange look.
“I make sure he doesn't hear. When you want to do this?”

“
As soon as possible. It's ten now, and the passengers will return by midnight, I should think.”

“
Yes, that is the time they must be back on the ship. They are in trouble if they are late.”

“
Then the sooner the better.”

“
I get dressed and make myself look agreeable.”

“
I'll go and see how it looks from A deck, then I'll change my clothes and come back for you.”

With that I left, went down to A deck, and strolled nonchalantly out to the stern. I was right. The stairwell had a steel grid strung across and clamped down. There was no way to get through it. But by standing on the stairway rail and getting a foothold on the air-conditioning units, I was quite certain I could reach the bottom of the rail above and pull myself up. I went back down to my stateroom to change.

I had a dark blue sweat suit which seemed about right for this, and some blue canvas deck shoes with rubber soles. I rummaged around in my case and found the penlight I often used backstage to catch a cue or check a line. I hoped it was all I'd need. I went next door and knocked softly. Marijke opened it.

I was almost stunned by her appearance. She was wearing more make-up than I had ever seen, giving her a sultry, seductive look. Her long blonde tresses were pulled to one side, held by an expensive clip. Her stylish white blouse was cut in a V-front, nearly to the waist. The slopes of her breasts were visible, and it was obvious there was no bra. The skirt, in panels of white and navy, was slit up both sides. She was the ultimate in provocative. I had a twinge of foreboding.

“Why are you dressed like that?”

“
I know these guards. It takes much to distract them. It must be his idea for me to stay. If I try to make it happen, he becomes suspicious. His eyes must keep looking, hoping for something more. I know about this, David. I embarrass you?”

“
No. I'm realizing there is much I have to learn. My simple Canadian upbringing left me very unprepared.”

I knew where she had acquired this technique, but I didn't want to think about it.

“David, you still think this is important?”

“
More than ever. And time is critical if I have to sneak off to send a message before we sail.”

“
Then we do it. Whatever is necessary. This I learn from my father when the world calls him traitor.”

“
One thing. How will I know if it's safe to climb up?”

“
Stay somewhere behind me. If I go through door and he close it, then you are safe. How much time you need?”

“
Ten minutes, maybe more. I don't want to leave any sign that anyone has been there. When I am out, I will stay on the deck below and whistle a tune. Do you know the “Waltz of the Flowers?”

“
From the Nutcracker by Tchaikovsky? Yes, I know it. When I hear this, I know you are clear. Please be careful. I don't want something to happen.”

“
You be careful, too.”

I took her hand briefly, squeezing it. She looked at me, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and left. I waited a full minute, then left quietly. Since our cabins were on the A deck, I had to walk up one deck. Marijke would be on the starboard side, so I went aft on the port side in the enclosed promenade, then toward the starboard at the rear of the cinema, finding a niche in the bulkhead to hide in. Leaning out, I could just see Marijke at the door, and I heard her try the latch noisily. The door opened.

I listened carefully. First a male voice, admonishing. Then Marijke, laughing, flirting. The male, less brusque. She, about to depart, still teasing. He, entreating, then begging. She, hesitant, then considering. He, cajoling, holding the door open. She, uncertain, leaning against it. He, convinced, pulling her through. She, laughing, entering 'reluctantly'. The door closed. I wheeled around, heading for a companionway down. Making my way to the open promenade at the stern, I found myself alone, but waited a minute to make sure. Grasping the stair rail I pulled myself up as high as I could, got a foot on the air-conditioning, and by stretching reached the lower part of the rail on the deck above. I swung my right leg a couple of times, then lodged it on the decking. With that support I pulled my body up, then easily went over the rail to land on the deck. With a clatter!