DECEPTION vol.1: A promise made A promise broken (Turbulent Desire Series) (8 page)

I started telling her about the rest of my day with JC, where he took me, about the rings, and when I told her about the making out …

“Oh my God, Skylar Marie, you are telling me you guys
didn’t
have sex? It was your opportunity and you didn’t take advantage of it?” she scolded me. “How big is it, did you see it?”

“Shhhhh, keep it quiet, my mother is going to hear us!” I shook my head at her in disbelief. “I really wanted to do it, but I got scared, then he got scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Madi, I’ve never done it before!”

“And …?” Madi exclaimed.

“What if it hurts? You know I want to save myself til marriage.

Madi looked exasperated but said nothing.

“Oh, Madi, if I could explain how exactly he looked when I said I was a virgin, how he kissed me—it was like a goodbye. After the kiss, he didn’t say a word. He took me back to you and left without saying …” I burst into tears. “I love him, Madi.”

Madi rolled her eyes. “You
love
him, are you crazy?”

“If someone in love is crazy, then I’m a psycho. I cannot wait to see him again. I just wish I could go back in time and do things differently. He said he loved me, he gave me this ring. I don’t understand.”

“Look, Skylar, if he was that disappointed with you because you’re still a virgin, then it could be two things. One, he just wanted sex and you scared him saying you just turned eighteen. Maybe he doesn’t believe you. Maybe he thinks you’re actually younger than you are and he doesn’t want to get in trouble. Or two, he is the type of guy who likes experienced women.” She paused. “I’m glad nothing happened. He does not deserve you.”

“So he only wanted to have sex,” I said, so sad. “Oh my God, he probably thought I was a slut—but why did he even bother saying he loved me?”

“Men will do and say whatever they think you want to hear so they can have sex with you.” She put her arm around me and gave me a gentle squeeze. “Sky, I’m so sorry.”

I got up and walked away. I turned on the radio and lay on my bed with tears in my eyes, trying to accept Madi’s words but fighting them in my heart. Somehow, I drifted off.

The next thing I knew, there was a knock on the door. “Girls! Breakfast is ready!” my mom called from outside our room.

“Yay!” Madi jumped out of bed.

I stayed in bed for another five minutes, wondering what would happen today. Would he call me? What if he didn’t? Finally, I dragged myself out of bed and into the kitchen.

“Mom, you still look like shit,” I said. My mother, usually so beautiful, was pale and her face looked haggard.

She rolled her eyes at my bluntness. “I know, sweetie. I think I’ve caught a little bug. I’m just not used to traveling. It’s nothing to worry about, I promise.” She smiled and winked at me, but it didn’t make me feel better. My anxiety over JC was combined now with concern for my mother. I barely took a bite of the pancakes.

It was the longest day of my life. JC did not call me. I sat on the beach with Madi most of the day, just thinking. My mother and Alessandro wanted us to join them for dinner in the evening. They had a reservation at L’Angolo del Gusto, but I told them I was too tired.

I waited and waited for him to call me but he never did. Three days passed.

Mi sono occupato in questo momento. Puoi lasciare un messaggio e io invochero il piu presto possibile.

When I finally got up the courage to call him, the phone did not ring at all; the call went straight to voicemail. Even though I didn’t understand his recorded greeting, I tried several times. I was just dialing his number so I could hear his voice.

“Sky, try to go to sleep. Come on, if you don’t, your eyes will look puffy. You’ll look terrible tomorrow when we leave,” Madi said to me as we got into bed.

I felt a sharp pain in my heart at the reminder that this was our last night in the island. I tossed and turned all night, trying to fall asleep, but I couldn’t. I turned to see if Madi was awake, but she was completely still and snoring softly. I glanced at the clock; it was five a.m. I got up from my bed, put on my sandals and tiptoed to the front door.

I decided to take a walk. I needed to clear my mind. I walked and walked until, without even thinking about it, I found myself next to the vineyard where I’d met JC. I stopped and wondered what would have happened if I’d never come here in the first place.

“Maybe I wouldn’t be feeling like shit,” I muttered out loud.

As I turned to walk away from the vineyard, I saw his home behind some trees and bushes. It was a very small, rustic house, old and slightly dilapidated; nothing compared to our rented villa.

I don’t know what got into me, but before I realized it, I was standing just a few feet in front of the villa, overcome with an urge to knock on the door.

It was still early—the sun was only just starting to come up, I had no idea if I would be waking him or his parents. But as I drew closer, I heard music coming from the inside of the house. It was classical music; I’d heard it before, but I couldn’t name it.

I knocked once, but no one responded. Twice, and nothing. I turned the doorknob, and to my surprise, the door was unlocked. I peeked in a little and could not see anything. It was dark inside, but a dim light from the first room illuminated part of the hall entrance.

Suddenly from down the hall, I could have sworn I heard the sound of someone whimpering, sobbing. It sounded as if somebody was hurt. Reacting at the thought of JC being hurt, I shut the door and walked down the hall, following the whimpering sounds that were coming from the room on my right. When I got to the door of the room, I stopped in shock, my mind barely able to register what my eyes were seeing.

JC was kneeling down the floor, completely naked, with a riding crop in his right hand. His back was lacerated; some of the whip marks had opened his flesh. His head hung low. He looked so broken and hurt. I could see a mess everywhere: clothes, trash, half-empty glasses and liquor bottles.

I froze in horror, unable to react immediately. I felt my stomach twisting, my eyes began to blur; I wanted to cry, seeing him like this, so broken and hurting himself—it was killing me. Suddenly, a strangled sob escape from his throat. The sound of it was like a call for help and woke me from my trance.

“JC,” I sobbed his name softly.

He raised his gaze to me, startled and shocked at my intrusion. He swiftly got up and approached me a look of fury on his face. His penis looked extremely big. It hung down, and as he walked, it bounced at the sides of his thighs. I could not take my eyes off it.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he shouted at me. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t. I was too shocked at his reaction, and the words just would not come out.

Then JC’s mouth turned up on one side in a wicked leer. He began to stroke himself and became erect immediately. His erection was so long and thick that even his own hand could not close over his shaft.

“You want to finish what we left three days ago? You want me to fuck you with my big cock? That’s what you came for, right?”

Finally, some words came out of my mouth. “W-Why …” I hiccupped. “Why are you t-treating me like this?” I sucked in a choked sob. “Please, JC, I love you! I am here to help you with whatever problem you have. Remember, you love me too. You gave me this ring.” I was choking with my own words.

JC looked at me as if he was struggling in thoughts. His face was ashen. “You have the most beautiful turquoise eyes I have ever seen,” he said, looking sadly at my eyes.

“What’s wrong, JC?” I asked him, sobbing now. His emerald eyes were dark with desolation.

He looked down at his hand, removed his ring from his finger, and held it in his hand for a second. Then his hand closed over it so tightly that his arm trembled. It was as if he wanted to crush the ring and everything we’d had together. He threw it at my feet, and it bounced to the wall. I cried out loud at the sight of him throwing away our vows.

“This is just a piece of shit. Did you really believe all the fucking things I told you? It was bullshit. I just wanted your body, I just wanted to fuck you.” He laughed, his laugh felt like a knife in my heart. “I didn’t think you were this naïve,” he said.

His cruelty took my breath away, I felt as if I were suffocating. There was a physical pain in my chest so strong that I thought for a moment I might pass out right there. I felt myself sway.

“Get the fuck out of here!” he screamed.

I hiccupped, still trying to catch my breath. I stood there looking at his eyes, imploring him silently to feel a little compassion for me, but there was no trace of kindness or gentleness left.

“Just fucking go already!” he screamed at me again, this time more loudly. I jumped in fright as he pushed me backwards by my shoulders.

I backed down the hallway to the door on unsteady feet, sobbing and gasping, feeling lost and hollow. As I reached the door, a broken sob escaped from my throat, and I turned and ran, not wanting him to see me like this anymore. I ran as if someone was chasing me. One of my sandals broke and I fell hard on the gravel path, hitting my forehead. I didn’t even register the physical pain; I was aware of nothing except the excruciating pain in my heart.

Somehow, I managed to get up. I stumbled back to the villa with my bleeding forehead and knees and crept into the bathroom. I stood numbly in the shower for almost an hour. When I got out, I managed to hide the wound in my forehead with my hair and went to my room to find some clothes. Madi was throwing her clothes hastily into her suitcase.

“Madi, what’s going on? I thought we were leaving in the afternoon,” I asked as I wiped my tears.

“Montserrat is not feeling well, Sky. Dad wants us to leave immediately,” Madi replied, her face pale.

“What’s wrong with her?” I cried, running to my mother’s room without waiting for her response.

When I opened the door of my mom’s bedroom, she was lying listlessly on the bed, Alessandro by her side. She looked even paler than before, and Alessandro looked extremely worried.

“We have to leave right now, Sky. Monserrat needs medical attention immediately. I changed our flight to the morning, so we have to leave the island and go directly to Da Vinci Airport in Rome,” he said, concern lining his handsome face.

“But is she okay?” I asked stupidly. I knew something was not right.

“I am so sorry, Sky. I ruined your birthday,” my mom replied, as she opened her tired eyelids.

“Oh, Mom,” I sobbed at her side, feeling guilty for neglecting her. Since we’d gotten here, I’d been drooling like a stupid teenager over JC and hadn’t paid attention to my mother’s condition.

Please, God, I beg you, don’t let this be something serious. I am terrified here, God. It can’t be serious. My mother is never sick. Please don’t let it be serious.

As the ferry pulled away from the port, I took a last glance at the green lighthouse and it made me remember all the pictures I took of him. Overcome with sudden fury, I pulled the phone out of my purse and threw it to the blue sea. Guilt, sorrow, fear and rage boiled in me until I could no longer tell which emotion was which.

As we sat on the plane in Rome, waiting for it to take off, I rubbed my ring. I made up my mind that it would stay on my finger for the rest of my life as a constant reminder not to let anyone near my heart, ever again.

He was a stranger, and I had believed every word he had said. I had even let him touch me intimately—how cheap was that? I felt naïve and stupid, but concern for my mother overrode even my broken heart. I had to be strong for her, the only person who truly loved me. The embers of my love for JC still burned inside me, but I swore I would extinguish them and I would forget his name and his very existence. I opened my little journal and began to write my feelings.

TIME MAKES LOVE DECAY

DON’T BLAME ME FOR THAT

WHEN YOU SEE ME WALK AWAY

THAT’S WHEN OUR LOVE ENDS.

MY MEMORY COULD NOT CHERISH LESS

NOR MORTAL LANGUAGE CAN EXPRESS

WHAT STILL LINGERS IN MY HEART …

THIS IS MORE THAN I CAN BEAR

NO ONE CAN COMFORT ME

NO ONE TO GUIDE ME

ONLY YOU, ONLY YOU …

THE FUTURE FILLS ME WITH DISMAY

WHEN LOVE IS SO FAR AWAY

WITH NO BRIGHT LIGHT

ONLY CLOUDS IN SIGHT

OH! GOD LET ME REST …

SLAUGHTER GIRL

A LAMB THE GOD OF LOVE

SLAUGHTER GIRL

OF PURE HEART

THAT FUELS A FLAME

SCREAM FOR A TOUCH OF LOVE.

With tears in my eyes I gazed at my left hand and whispered to the ring: “JC, I curse the hour I met you.”