Decipher (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #3) (17 page)

Ruby nodded.

“Are you upset with her?” Seeing that I wasn’t in any immediate danger of having my balls cut off, I moved into the kitchen to make some breakfast while we continued our conversation.

She shook her head. “No. How else could she have explained my reaction? I know it wasn’t entirely rational. But . . . I don’t know. It’s a little hard to explain to someone who’s never been in the situation. It’s just something that I’ve wanted for the longest time. To fail month after month would be like you getting kitted up for a race, event after event, and every time you make it to the car you’re called back to the pits and told that this isn’t the right race for you. That maybe you’ll get your chance at the next event.”

A bark of laughter ripped from my lips as I pressed down the toaster.

In response to my chuckle, she frowned at me and tilted her head in confusion.

“Did you just describe bumping uglies with Josh as an event?” I asked.

She joined my laughter. “Well, it fits.”

So that the image her words called to mind didn’t stick, I concentrated on my memory of Alyssa in a race suit. With that picture in my head, and no more laughter on my lips, I started the conversation again. “Look, I don’t know anything about making babies.”

Her laughter grew into a howl and I realised what I’d inadvertently said.

“Wait, I take that back. I know plenty about what it takes to make babies, but usually I try to avoid making babies when I do it.”

Her nose curled up and her lips twisted as though she’d just tasted something unpleasant. “When did we get to the stage that it was okay to discuss our sex lives?”

“Sometime between vacations and vomit, I think.” A smile grew on my lips as I buttered my newly popped toast.

A fresh chuckle slipped from between her lips. “I’ll deny it if you ever tell anyone, but I actually don’t mind this new you.”

After spreading a thin layer of vegemite over the butter, I turned around and met Alyssa’s questioning gaze. She had a sleepy but seemingly better Phoebe in her arms. I nodded to let her know everything was okay.

“You won’t be able to deny it,” I said to Ruby. “There are witnesses.” I indicated Alyssa and Phoebe.

“Witnesses to what?” Alyssa asked, winking at Ruby.

“Oh, I see how it is. All the hens in the house ganging up on the lone cock.”

“Rooster,” Alyssa said the instant after the last
K
sound crossed my lips. “They’re called roosters in our house.”

Phoebe peeked her head out from where she was hiding against Alyssa’s neck and crowed like a rooster.

“And that’s why they’re roosters,” Alyssa said.

With things mostly squared with Ruby, I sat with Phoebe on my lap and ate my breakfast while Alyssa prepared some plain toast for Phoebe.

“Did you tell Declan about that cow?” Ruby said.

Phoebe made a mooing sound, but I didn’t pay much attention because there was something in the way Ruby asked her question that made me think there was something Alyssa had intended to tell me during our weekend of truths that we either hadn’t got to—or she’d chickened out and not said it.

“What cow?”

“That girl,” Ruby said.

It didn’t slip my notice that Alyssa hadn’t said anything. When I looked at her, she was studying the light spread of butter over Phoebe’s toast with attention greater than it really warranted.

“What’s her name?” Ruby continued. “D something. Da . . . Dar—”

“Darcy?” The name slipped from between my teeth.

The butter knife in Alyssa’s hand clattered to the bench as I said the name, confirming that Darcy had done something else to hurt Alyssa.

“That’s the one,” Ruby said. “Nasty piece of work, she is.”

I nodded, wondering if she knew the half of it. Did Ruby know that I’d had a one-night stand with Darcy? That Darcy had then lorded that over Alyssa?

“What did she do?” I wanted to get up and offer Alyssa some comfort, but it was hard with Phoebe on my lap, and I didn’t want to jostle Phoebe around too much, considering the night she’d had.

Alyssa dropped the plate of toast in front of Ruby. “Phoebe, sweetheart, can you sit with Aunt Ruby while I talk to Daddy for a moment?”

Taking my cue, I carried Phoebe around the table and placed her in Ruby’s lap. By the time I’d done that, Alyssa had already left the room.

“She’s getting back at me for telling you she can’t have kids,” Alyssa said when I approached her.

“What?” I’d thought we were going to be talking about Darcy, so Alyssa’s words confused me.

“Ruby. I told her last night that I’d let her situation slip to you.”

A relieved sigh slipped from me that I hadn’t lied to Ruby. It would have caused more trouble if she’d known the truth the whole time. The Ruby situation wasn’t the one I was worried about though.

“What happened with Darcy?”

“She’s just doing everything she can to make my life hell. It started when she saw me at the Grand Plaza after I got home from here. She just kept talking about how you were already bored with me and that was why I was back in Browns Plains while you were still in Sydney.” 

My jaw snapped shut at her words. I should have known Alyssa going home alone would fuel more rumours. “And?” I asked through clenched teeth.

“And she came into work to hunt down copies of last week’s
Gossip Weekly
. I had to serve her and watch as she opened every single page of that damned article on each and every copy so she could make sure it was all there. All while discussing the article in great detail and pointing out all the reasons why you’d gotten bored with me. It meant that most of my regular customers found out about everything even if they’ve never picked up a gossip mag before. Worse, she comes into the shop every few days now. It’s like she’s decided my shop is the only one she can go to when she needs something, even though it’s not the closest one to her home. Of course, I can’t say anything to my boss because the customer is always right.”

“Bitches like that will get their comeback,” I said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It wasn’t important. It won’t be long before I’ll be leaving and then I won’t have to see her again.”

“But that’s still weeks away. Are you just going to put up with it until then?”

“A snotty bitch bent out of shape because you won’t screw her again is hardly the worst thing I’ve had to deal with.” Her gaze dropped to the floor.

“Fuck, of course it’s not. But that doesn’t mean you have to put up with it, either. What happened to the girl I knew, the one who dragged Darcy down onto the school oval just because she gave me a Valentine?”

Alyssa’s gaze shifted up to mine as the hint of a smile graced her lips. “You know, I’d forgotten about that.”

“If I hadn’t already been mad about you before then, I think that would have been the moment that cemented it for me.”

“Except we broke up that afternoon.”

“You broke up with me, not the other way around.”

She laughed. “God, we were crazy weren’t we?”

I cupped her cheek and moved so my mouth was inches from hers. “I’m sure I’ve still got a bit of crazy in me.” I claimed her lips. Even though I did crave her, I kissed her for another reason. I wanted to change the subject. It wasn’t that I wanted Darcy to get away with what she was doing—in fact, I wanted to make sure she paid. I didn’t want to tip Alyssa off to that fact, though, because if I did, she might tell me not to. I wouldn’t go against her wishes if she asked me not to do something, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

I just had to think of the perfect plan.

CHAPTER NINETEEN: SUCK IT UP

AFTER WE DROPPED Ruby off at the airport, Alyssa, Phoebe, and I went for a walk along the beach to get some fresh air. The whole time, Alyssa watched Phoebe like a hawk, looking for any sign that she was going to be sick again.

I was relieved to notice that I’d apparently lost my lone stalker photographer. Either he’d decided that I wasn’t worth following anymore, or T had recalled him for some reason. I had no idea which, but I was happy for the break. Overall, it was the best fucking day I’d had in a while.

It was clear even to me what made the day so different from the others I’d faced in the last week. Life just wasn’t complete without my family near me. Maybe that made me a sap, but I was the happiest fucking sap in the world.

After getting our fill of fresh air, we headed back to the car and I saw that I wasn’t as lucky as I’d assumed. The pap was there, leaning against a white X-Trail and grinning at me. Knowing that what he wanted more than anything was a picture of me reacting in a negative way, I tuned him out and focused on Phoebe and Alyssa. When I reversed the car out, he was right behind me. All I wanted to do was put my foot to the floor to try to lose him, but I knew there wasn’t much point. He knew where I lived and would no doubt be camped there before long anyway. At least if I stuck to the speed limit, nothing could be reported about me driving recklessly or any other bullshit they wanted to try to invent.

“You’re handling him well,” Alyssa said. “I don’t know if I could be quite so patient.”

Even though her words hadn’t been a joke, I couldn’t help laughing at them. “Patience isn’t exactly my strong suit. It’s taking everything in me not to thump the guy every time he gets that damned camera in my face.”

“And it’s good that you’re not doing it, for Phoebe’s sake.”

I glanced back at Phoebe in the car seat in the back. She was already well on her way to falling asleep again. Her little head bobbed and nodded, then she startled upright for a few seconds. A moment later, her eyes drifted closed and the routine started again. Before long, she’d nodded off completely.

To give her a proper chance for a nap, I drove the long way home, winding out through the suburbs and blasting along the highways. It was actually nice being able to stretch my legs a little in the car again. To not have to be driving to somewhere, but just in the car for the sake of it.

I drove Alyssa around Sydney Olympic Park in Homebush, and then out to Parramatta. The music was playing and Alyssa was watching out the window. It was peaceful. Relaxed in a way I’d never imagined a drive could be without it being in my ProV8.

When Phoebe started to stir, I headed home. Alyssa and I spent the rest of the afternoon and all of that night just doting on Phoebe. We played games, watched a few movies, and just spent every second we could with her before she crashed early after her late night of being sick.

My weekend alone with Alyssa might have been cut short, but I had no real complaints. Especially not when I was able to take her into my bedroom at the end of the day and claim her body on the clean sheets.

I woke before everyone else in the house on Monday. When I first opened my eyes and looked down at Alyssa’s body snuggled against my chest, I thought about what I’d said to her about my love of Sinclair Racing. My heart began to race faster than the engine in my V8 at the thought of what I was going to do, but I didn’t have much choice. After having some breakfast, I swallowed down my pride and rang Danny’s office. Even though it was still a little before eight, I figured he’d be there. He usually was.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked after realising it was me. His tone indicated he thought the call was anything but that.

“First off, I wanted to apologise if I seemed rude the other night.”

“Seemed?”

“Fuck, okay, I was an arsehole and I’m sorry. It just took me by surprise, seeing you there. I still can’t believe Eden would do that.”

“Really?” A small chuckle came down the line. “You can’t?”

I joined his laughter. “Well, yeah, I guess you’re right. It was totally in character for her. I just didn’t think she’d do it to you and me.”

“Apparently, she thinks there is some stuff we need to sort out.”

“Evidently.” As I spoke to him, I moved around, picking up some of Phoebe’s toys. Some of them would be going home with her, but just as many would be staying to start the transition of her life to Sydney. Looking at the little stuffed dog that was practically falling to pieces—one of the dark brown ears had split at the seam and stuffing was poking out of the hole—I knew I had to suck up my pride and beg. It was the reminder I needed; I was calling him for Phoebe. A job somewhere close to home would only benefit her. It was what I’d promised Alyssa I’d do. Fuck if it didn’t feel like I was taking a rusty razor blade to my pride though—and maybe to my balls as well. “I think she’s right too.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. See, I want to come back.”

“I can’t have you race for me anymore, Declan,” he said. The tone he used was frank, almost confrontational. I wondered if he was trying to gauge my reaction or if it was that cut and dried for him. Either could be true.

Despite the fact that I’d known it was impossible, it still stung to have him confirm that I had no chance of driving for the team again.

“Your latest series of stunts, whether true or not, have generated too much bad press,” he continued. “The sponsors that bring in the big dollars these days are the family-friendly ones and frankly, you don’t have anything to offer us in that department after the latest scandal.”

A scoff left me at his words. With Alyssa upstairs asleep, and Phoebe in her little tiara bed, we were practically the perfect picture of domestic fucking bliss. Very few drivers were more family-fucking-friendly than I was when my little family was with me.

Despite that, it wasn’t worth having the argument and pushing Danny even further offside. That could wait until I had a steady pay cheque again. “So I won’t race then. I still want back in.”

“What?”

I sat on the couch with the phone cradled between my ear and my shoulder, holding the stuffed dog in my hands. “I have a family I need to support, Danny. They mean the world to me, and I’d do anything for them. Anything. I don’t particularly want to, but I could take the position that Wood offered me. However, that would mean moving to Brisbane when Alyssa is due to move down here to start at Pembletons. So the thing is, even if I wanted to be part of that team, which I don’t, I don’t want to move away from my family. I made that choice the last time I had a contract to consider, and I fucked it up then. I’m not going to fuck it up again. I owe them better than that.”
I owe
me
better than that.

“I don’t understand what that has to do with me.”

“Sinclair is a family. You know that, man. You foster that environment. Even if I can’t be out on the track, I want to be nearby. Watching the Bahrain race from home almost killed me. I was fucking counting down the seconds in the pit stops. I was holding my breath with every corner. I want to be part of that success on the fucking track. Of course I’d prefer to be out there behind the wheel, but if that’s not possible, then I want to do whatever it takes to prove that I’m a team player. To prove that you fucked up by firing me.”

“How do I know you’re not just telling me what you think I want to hear to let you back on the track? You have to understand my hands are tied.”

I gritted my teeth. “I’m not gonna lie, I want back on the track more than you could possibly imagine.” Even as I said the words, I understood it was possible they weren’t entirely true. He knew what the drive to be in control of the car was like; he’d been there before he’d retired almost twenty years earlier. But he’d never had the choice taken from him by someone else either. He’d simply raced until he didn’t have that hunger any longer, and then he’d retired into team ownership. “Being out there, at one with the car, it’s like nothing else. You know that at least. The need for that pumps through my veins like lifeblood, but I don’t want that just anywhere. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get back there. If that means I’ve got to clean the fucking toilet so that I can pay the bills and be near my girls in the meantime, that’s what I’ll do.”

“And what if it means that you never get to drive again?”

“Well, then I fucking deal with that like a big boy, don’t I?”

“This is a very different attitude from you, Declan.” He sounded skeptical, as though at any second I might tell him I was joking and to fuck off. It was fucking tempting. I wasn’t the sort to grovel and beg. Except maybe where it came to Alyssa, but that was fucking different.  

I would have my say, leave it with him, and never beg again. If he really didn’t want me, well, I’d cross that bridge when I got there. “I told you. I’m a different person now. It might only be a few weeks since she crashed back into my life, but Alyssa is good for me.” I’d had my say and now I just needed to let the dice fall where they may.

“I appreciate what it would have taken to make this call, Declan. Will you give me the time to consider what you’ve said?”

“Sure, just don’t take too long or I might have to reconsider the role with Wood Racing, after all.” I laughed so that he could tell I was joking. There was no way I would become indebted to the person who’d tried to destroy my family and did destroy my career. If he didn’t come back to me soon though, or came back with a no, I would still be fucked. Then I’d have no pride and no fucking job. Maybe it was a mistake after all.

I took a calming breath and tried to focus on the positives.

By the time I’d ended the call, Alyssa and Phoebe were awake. Phoebe was sitting at my dining table while Alyssa danced around the kitchen singing a song to her. With a smile on my lips, I caught Alyssa on her next twirl and held her in my arms for a moment before planting a chaste kiss against her mouth. As the three of us sat and ate breakfast together, I looked around the table. I couldn’t help but laugh at the perfectly domestic scene.

“What is it?” Alyssa asked.

“Just that for someone who is supposedly not ‘family friendly,’ this is a very Norman Rockwell moment.”

Alyssa laughed in agreement.

“What’s Normal Rockwall?” Phoebe asked, causing Alyssa’s laughter to grow.

Alyssa patted her arm. “I’ll explain when you are older, honey.” She turned her gaze to me. “So I called that reporter while you were on the phone.”

“Really? And?”

“And they sounded like they were still really keen for the idea. The only problem is when we might be available to do it. Obviously they want to do it sooner rather than later because in another few weeks—” She cut herself off and grimaced at me.

The rest of her sentence was obvious though. In another few weeks, no one would care. I had a big
ex
in front of my position as driver for Sinclair Racing and my stock as a person of interest to the public was falling almost by the hour. If we were going to try to get our side of the story public, it had to be while there was still some interest in the story. In me. “When are they available?”

“Whenever we are.” She twirled her hair around her fingers.

“What is it?”

“Well, they actually said my call was perfect timing because they had a hair and make-up artist, and a photographer set up in a hotel in town for a shoot with Katie Medler, but apparently she had to cancel because of some filming commitment.”

“Shit.” I glanced at Phoebe even as the swear word escaped me. I shot Alyssa an apologetic look and continued, “Uh, I mean, really? You wanna do it today?”

Alyssa shrugged. “We don’t have to, but if we don’t we’ll have to arrange for you to come home, or me to come back here. I’m not sure when we can do that.”

Despite the fact that my palms were getting sweaty and my heart was pounding in my chest at the thought, I nodded. “Today is probably doable. Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” she said, giving me a smile which somehow both showed her confidence and her fear.

“You never know what they might ask,” I warned. My fear was that they’d ask about Phoebe and Emmanuel. “It might be difficult.”

She swallowed hard but nodded. “I know. No one said our life was going to be easy, but it’s ours. I want to tell our side. If we don’t, those little—” She huffed and cut herself off. “Darcy and Hayley just get away with it all. Publicly, at least. People will believe the lies they’ve told, because it’s uncontested.”

Even though I didn’t want to talk about the bitches who’d been heavily involved in my downfall, possible plans for revenge started to form in my mind. Karma was going to bite both their arses anyway. Even if I had to force its hand.

Instead of focusing on that part of Alyssa’s words, I asked what was my greatest fear about the situation. “How do we know that the magazine isn’t going to twist the events and make it worse though?”

“I’ve already told them that we’ll only agree to it if we get ultimate copy approval and veto if they don’t agree to our suggestions. I’ve also instructed them that Phoebe isn’t to be included in any photos, and discussed a sizable donation to the children’s hospital foundation rather than cash remuneration.”