Decipher (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #3) (32 page)

“God help me, Declan, if you finish that sentence with ‘I just didn’t tell you,’ I won’t be held responsible for what I say next. Even Phoebe knows that lying by omission is still lying, and she’s three!”

Shit. Shit. Shit!
I could see her pulling away, closing off. The blank mask that had slipped back over her eyes, covering the hurt and the agony, was more effective at blocking her off to me than the one she wore over her face. I’d thought I’d lost her after the magazine, but that had been because I didn’t understand how deep her love actually ran. Love that had been stitched back together with trust as the thread—a thread I’d picked at, until now the whole thing threatened to unravel. “Tell me how to fix this.”

“Just leave.”

My heart hammered and my breathing sped. “No. I can’t, Lys. I can’t leave it like this.”

“I have nothing to say to you right now. I need some space.”

I reached for her, grabbing her wrist. “Please, let me fix this. You have to let me try.”

She tugged her wrist free of my hold. “No. I can’t do this. Not now. Go!”

“No.”

A growl of frustration tore from her lips. “Fine. Then I will.” 

Unwilling to touch her against her will, even though every part of me screamed to just pull her into my arms and kiss her until the pain went away, I stood by and watched as she walked past me and out of the room. Just before the door swung closed, my vision blurred and my eyes burned. She hadn’t even looked back once.

“Wait, Lys!” I pulled open the door. Memories of the day after the formal flooded through my mind, threatening to send me to my knees.

Even though barely a second had passed, by the time I reached the hallway, she was gone. I had no idea whether she’d disappeared into one of the bathrooms on the level, into the elevator, or where. I raced up to the end of the corridor, watching for any sign of her. Too many bad memories flooded me. She couldn’t walk out on me again. I had to find her.

“Fuck!” Twisting around, I sat on the steps and buried my head in my hands. How could I be so stupid? I’d ignored everyone who’d warned me that she might not understand. Dr. Henrikson. Eden. Even Danny had been cryptically cautious.

I’d thought I knew better than all of them, though. I’d thought I knew Alyssa better than they did. What a fucking joke. It was clear I didn’t know her at all. Not enough. In my need for revenge, I’d lost the second-most important thing in my world. Thankfully, I was sure that no matter how badly I’d screwed up, she wouldn’t take Phoebe from my life unless she thought there was some danger. Even though that was a relief, it wasn’t enough. I didn’t just want Phoebe part-time. I wanted our family. Together.

Needing to speak to her, to apologise and explain, I turned around and headed back to the room, intending to carry on past the hotel room to search down the other end of the hallway, but stopped when I saw the turquoise-and-gold mask she’d picked for the night. The one she’d picked because it matched my eyes.

Was discarding it her way of telling me she was done with me for good? Had the “just in case” her dad had made her plan for eventuated already before we’d even left Brisbane? Reaching behind my head, I untied the ribbon on my own mask, and slipped it off. I held both of the masks in my hand as I looked around again with her name on my lips.

The door to room 607 cracked open. A second later, Morgan came out.

“Perfect plan, squirt! Couldn’t have gone better,” he said, holding his hand up for a high five. When I didn’t respond or slap my palm against his, he waved his fingers in my face. “Don’t leave me hanging.” He stared at me for a moment, no doubt trying to figure out why I wasn’t celebrating. “Shit, what is it?”

Not trusting myself to talk without sounding like a total wimp, I just shook my head and held up one finger to tell him to wait. I swallowed down on the ball of emotions in my chest and then uttered just one word. “Alyssa.”

“Oh, shit. Did she hear that?”

I nodded.

“I take it she didn’t appreciate the shove you gave karma’s arse?”

“Something like that. You didn’t see her, did you?”

“No. I haven’t seen anyone else up here.”

“I have to find her.”

“You go downstairs, I’ll look around up here.”

I headed back for the elevators and hit the call button. As soon as it came, I mashed the button marked for the ballroom. Instead of going into the party though, I headed into the quieter areas. Here and there couples were taking some quiet time together—some talking, some practically dry-humping in the low light.

Almost twenty minutes had passed since I’d last seen Alyssa, when the sound of soft sobs caught my ears. With my heart in my mouth, I followed them.

“Lys, look, I—” My words died on my tongue when I saw Darcy sitting on the floor with her arms wrapped around her legs, and her head resting against her knees.

She glanced up at the sound of my voice and her lips curled into a snarl. “I hope you’re fucking pleased with yourself. Blake’s going to leave me. It would have been okay if that tramp reporter Miss M. hadn’t come over and told him about your fucking do-over note.”

As much as I wanted to say that I was happy, seeing her in tears was a hollow fucking victory. Sure, she was a grade-A bitch, and had made Alyssa’s life more difficult than it had needed to be, but wasn’t plotting her downfall just as bad? I’d fought fire with fire, and everyone had gotten burned. Maybe she deserved what had happened, but was it really my place to decide that?

“Actually, I’m not,” I said, kneeling in front of her and resting my hand on her knee. “In fact, there’s something I need to say to you. Something I should have said a long time ago. I’m sorry, Darcy.”

Her eyes widened as she recoiled from my touch. “What?”

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes over the years, and I know you’ll deny it, but at least a couple of them hurt you. So I just want you to know that I’m sorry.”

“You’re a freak.” She shoved at me, pushing me off balance.

“Whatever. I really don’t give a shit what you think about me, but I’m done thinking about you. I’m done letting you have any sway over me or Alyssa.”

“You shouldn’t have fucked with me. I’m going to call up
Gossip Weekly
and tell them all about this. They’ll know the truth.”

I shrugged. “You know what? Try it. I don’t even care anymore.”

Climbing back to my feet, I moved away. I’d said everything I needed to, and I hadn’t been lying. She wouldn’t even be a blip on my radar anymore. I had more important things to focus on. If it cost me Alyssa or Phoebe, revenge wasn’t worth the price.

I continued looking around the floor, asking everyone who wasn’t glued to another if they’d seen her. Each second that passed, I was more certain I’d lost her for good. My body shook, quivers to rival the worst tyre shake. My knees threatened to buckle. The last time she’d left that way, she’d gone straight home. Then Josh had been waiting for me.

Fuck.

Needing to see whether she’d perhaps returned to the room to pack up her things, I headed back for the elevator.

I slipped the key card into the door, fearing the worst—a room that contained only my bag. When I pushed open the door, I saw something that made me forget all about the key card and the lock—everything but her.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she looked up at me when the door opened.

Her eyes were brimming with tears, the rich honey colour glistening as she stared at me. Her body sagged and a small smile lifted her lips as she looked at me. I could have been wrong, but it looked like a small sigh left her too. It was almost as if she were relieved to see me. Fucked if I knew why after what had happened.

“Thank goodness,” she said.

“Please don’t leave,” I begged at exactly the same time.

She rushed over to me. For a moment, I thought she’d throw her arms around me, but she slowed as she came closer. The doubt and anger were still there, even if the relief had temporarily overridden it.

“Hi.” The word was almost inaudible and I only caught it because of how closely I was paying attention to her.

“Fuck, Lys, I thought you’d left.” I clamped my mouth shut before I could add the “me” to the sentence. “You were so mad.”

“Am.”

My eyes narrowed and I frowned as I struggled with my confusion over the word.

“I’m still mad,” she said.

I gave her the most winning grin I could muster and dared to take another step closer to her. “And I’m still sorry.”

She sighed as she turned away. “I know. That’s why I came back here. I worried what you might do if you thought me needing space was a permanent thing.”

Even as she said the word, I felt the tension leave my body, sinking through the floor and draining away. “It’s not?”

She gave a soft laugh and shook her head. “No. Trust me. You’ll know if we’re off for good. I don’t want to lose you, Dec. No one else will ever be able to make me as mad as you can sometimes, but that won’t stop me loving you.”

I stepped closer to her again, needing to look in her eyes as she spoke to me.

Before I could reach her, she wheeled around on the spot. “But I won’t blindly accept you lying to me either.”

“I won’t lie to you ever again,” I promised. “Not even a white one.”

“Not even if I ask if my butt looks too big?”

I chuckled and reached for her. “Baby, your arse is always perfect to me and that’s the God’s honest truth.”

She melted into my arms. All of the bullshit I’d clung so tightly to, the need for revenge, the twisted desire to be right, all of it meant nothing in that moment. The tension I’d been feeling every time I thought of her move to Sydney was gone. Clearly it was my own guilt—my own subconscious—trying to force me to reconsider my plans.

Just as I pressed my lips to hers to whisper all of that to her without words, Morgan burst into the room. For a second, I wondered how, but then I recalled that I’d left the key card in the door.

“Oh, you found her.” It was hard not to hear the irritation in his voice.

With a frown furrowing my brow, I turned to him. “What the fuck, dude?”

“You didn’t think to text me to tell me you’d found her?”

I shook my head. “Actually, no, I had slightly more important things on my mind. Is there a problem?”

“No, it’s okay. No problem. I just spent the last fifteen minutes completely embarrassing myself by ‘accidentally’ going into every ladies’ room in this damn place to find her while you’re in here making out, but it’s okay. It’s all good.”

I chuckled, and even Alyssa smiled in spite of her dislike for him—or maybe because of it.

“Sorry, dude,” I said through a fresh peal of laughter. “I was too busy grovelling and demanding she take me back.”

“It’s true,” Alyssa said, meeting my eyes. “He’s been on his knees practically begging me to take him back the whole time.”

“Anyway, it’s almost eleven. Danny is about to make the big announcement. You need to get back in there.”

“No.”

“What the fuck do you mean, no?”

I pulled Alyssa against me again. “I mean, I’m exactly where I want to be for New Year’s. After all, what you’re doing tonight is supposed to be what you do for the rest of the year, right?” I planted a small kiss against her cheek before letting her go and turning back to Morgan. “And if that’s the case, there’s definitely something I need to be doing right now.”

Picking up what I was putting down, he smirked at me and backed out of the room, leaving the key on the floor and letting the door shut behind him. Releasing my hold on her waist, I moved to pick up the masks I’d dropped in my haste to get to her.

“I’m looking for the girl who was in this mask. Have you seen her? I think I might have hurt her, and now I want to kiss it better.”

“I’m not sure if I’ve seen her,” Alyssa said. “Maybe you should try the mask on every girl in the land and see who it fits.”

I snorted. “This ain’t fucking Cinderella, and my girl won’t be going at midnight, she’ll be coming.”

A genuine laugh left her. “You are so goddamned cheesy.”

“If it makes you laugh like that, you can call me King
Fromage
.”

“As much as I’d love to stay here all night, we probably should get back for Danny’s announcement.” She nodded at the masks in my hands. “I think one of the ribbons broke before, though.”

“You can wear mine if you like?”

Shaking her head as she moved, she grabbed both of the masks and threw them onto the bed. “I think we’ve had enough hidden agendas for one night. Let’s remove the mystery for now, shall we?”

“Okay, but do you think that your mask is repairable?”

She tilted her head in confusion as she said. “Maybe. Why?”

“Because you cannot believe how many fantasies I’ve had of looking down at you wearing it while you suck my cock.”

“Declan!” She flushed red and playfully swatted my shoulder. “You only saw it for the first time a few hours ago.”

I captured her hip and pulled her side against my front. My cock was hard and aching for her, had been ever since our almost kiss. Kissing along her neck, I whispered against her skin, “Baby, you would not believe half the fantasies I’ve had about you or how quickly they can form. And I intend to make them all come true.”