Deep Dark Mire (An FBI Romance Thriller ~ book four) (22 page)

“No Ethan, not yet
!” She refused to give up the feeling. She wanted more, and was going to take all she needed for the day in this moment.

Ethan had never been told no
. She usually went first and he followed, but he knew she needed the solace today too. He did his best to not let his control slip. Just for her, he’d suffer. “Use me,” he whispered, and felt more control fray.

Elizabeth heard the words and kept riding. She was on the precipice and could fall at any moment, but she wanted to stay in the moment,
a moment filled with love and heat.

Blackhawk was moaning, as she did truly wicked things to his body and control. It took everything he had to not explode. It was to the point he couldn’t look at her or he was gone.

The heat built and she touched his cheek and had his attention. “Now Ethan,” she whispered, and then slammed down one last time, as she felt him quake beneath her. Her mouth met his and they kissed through the erupting storm that pulled them both under. The kiss soothed and healed both of their hearts, filling the loss with love. Pleasure was the Band-Aid to get them through the moment.

When they both calmed
, neither moved. The kiss continued, until Elizabeth broke away and stared at him with icy blue eyes.

“I love you,” she whispered, “more than you’ll ever know.”

And for that he was infinitely grateful. “I love you, Lyzee.”

Ethan could
finally feel his lower extremities, and he stood them in the shower for a few more minutes just to enjoy the hot water and the feel of his wife against his body.

Turning it off, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body first, and then watched her walk out of their bathroom
. The pain started surfacing again of what was coming.

“Ethan, we’ll get through it,” she
called back over her shoulder, as she continued to their room. “I promise.”

He watched her walk away.

And prayed she was right.

Callen dialed the number in Elizabeth’s phone and waited for Julian to answer. He needed an update for Blackhawk, and also needed a favor.

“Littlemoon.”

“Julian, it’s Callen Whitefox.”

There was a pause.
“I heard about your grandfather. Tell your family I send my condolences.”

“Thank you.”
Immediately, his eyes filled with tears and he struggled to hold them back and remain composed.

“Is there something I can do for you and your brother?” he asked, sincerely. He understood how hard it was when your family was broken by death.

“No, we’re getting through it. The ceremony is today, the teepee tonight, and burial tomorrow morning. I’m calling for an update on the other situation.”

It wasn’t lost on the man that in the midst of death he was calling about more death. This is why he didn’t want to work for the FBI full time. It
greatly lacked appeal to Julian.

“Nothing yet, but I have three more likely locations the tribes have suggested.”

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Certainly. What do you need, Callen?”

Whitefox didn’t know how to phrase it. “Desdemona Adare needs to be ‘watched’. We think it’s stalker related still, but we can’t figure out what’s going on. If you get a moment, can you swing by her grandmother’s house and just check the area?”

“Give me the address.”

He rattled off the street address and waited.

“I was going to check that swamp tomorrow morning, so I’ll be in that area anyway. No favor needed.”

Whitefox felt relief. He was pretty sure the idea of marriage was over with the woman, too much damage had been done, but he still cared about her and wanted her safe. “We’ll be back in Cypress Grove Monday afternoon.”

“Okay, I’ll update you later. Hang in there.”

Whitefox knew he wasn’t talking about the Desdemona situation, since that was the furthest from his mind.

“
Be safe, Julian,” he said, hanging up the phone. It was just in time to see his brother bounding down the stairs with renewed energy, and he suspected he knew why.

“That’s completely unfair unless you're going to share with the rest of the class,” he said, trying to find humor in it, and faking it completely.

Blackhawk grinned. “She’s dressing and then going to sleep a while. You look like hell. I suggest you do that too. Food can wait, but sleep will help you forget.”

Whitefox nodded as he watched his brother get ready. “Dad has CJ. He took him for a walk. He said he needed to clear his head.”

“Okay, I’ll be back in a couple of hours. You hold down the fort.”

Whitefox smiled. “
Those comments are funnier coming from Elizabeth.” He loved her little phrases she threw in expectantly.

“I’m grotesquely inadequate, but at least I try
.” He walked over to his brother and patted his shoulder. “Sleep.”

He nodded
and watched him walk out the door.

Callen felt restless
and wandered the living room like a caged animal. Finally he came to stop in front of the bookshelf that held the family pictures. There were ones of Elizabeth and Ethan, Callen and Elizabeth, plus the rest of the men in the family sitting there. Then he saw the ones of his grandfather, and his eyes filled with tears.

“
It’s hard to believe he’s gone.”

Callen
turned at the sound of her voice. Something about her voice always gave him calm when he was lost in the turmoil. Now he was grateful she wasn’t sleeping, but right there with him.

“I feel so empty
, Lyzee.”

Elizabeth went to his side and understood. She’d felt that way too. “He’s still here Callen. I know he is, and you need to believe that
, no matter what happens in life. Timothy lives inside you, and you carry him with you.”

He nodded
, struggling to believe that a man that good could live in a man so unworthy.

Elizabeth could see the exhaustion on his face. “How about you and I curl up on the couch and take a nap
together?”

The idea held merit. There was nothing he liked more than having her beside his body. It offered him peace and warmth. Mostly the heat was from sexual need and attraction, but he’d rather feel that than what was living in his heart at that moment. “Okay, Lyzee. You need to sleep more than
I do. I slept when CJ was using me as a pillow.”

It touched her heart that the man had loved her son
, and nurtured him while her husband rested. Elizabeth led him to the couch, waiting for him to lounge. Then Elizabeth found a comfortable place at his side.

“Are you
okay?” she asked, “Or am I too heavy.”

He laughed. What he was feeling had nothing to do with her weight, but where her body was pressed against his. “Yeah, if I say your heavy you’ll hit me.”

“I can move,” she offered.

“Please don’t. I need you right now.” It wa
s said with all the raw emotion surfacing at once, and pouring out in complete honesty to the woman he loved.

Elizabeth looked into his eyes and gave him peace by kissing him softly. It wasn’t a kiss she’d normally give him, or one she’d share with her husband, but somewhere in between. For now it was to offer him reassurance that he wasn’t going to be alone.

The note granddad left her made her promise, and she’d give Callen a safe place to reside until he was strong enough to go out in the world.

The kiss caught him off-guard, and his arms came around
Elizabeth and held her tightly to his body, kissing her back. For the first time in a day, Callen let go some of the pain he’d buried deep.

Then he realized what he did
and the line he potentially crossed. “I’m sorry.”

Elizabeth laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. “Don’t be. Love should be shared
, not locked away until someone dies. Let’s sleep for a while.”

Callen relaxed
and let the warmth flow through his body from the contact with her. None of it was sexual, but it gave him peace and warmth anyway. He felt safe and home.

The pain ebbed away for a while as he listened to her slow easy breathing. Before he knew it, he fell into the darkness with her protectively over half his body. Cold was gone, and silence surrounded him
, as he finally slept peacefully.

Arriving home two hours later, Ethan found
his brother holding his wife in sleep, as they both collapsed from exhaustion and grief on the couch. Instead of jealousy, it gave him peace. Elizabeth, even exhausted, was offering what she had in her to a man who was slipping away into the darkness of life. She would anchor Callen to the family, and he was willing to let her do just that. Pulling the throw off the back of his couch, he placed it over their bodies, tucking them in together.

The door to the back yard was open, and outside he found his father
lying on the grass with his son on a blanket. He was telling him Native stories that granddad had told Ethan when he was a boy. He remembered the same stories from his childhood. Ethan smiled as he was transported to his own past, and back to the man who had raised him.

Family would prevail
, even if it was now smaller. The loss of Timothy was completely and utterly staggering, but they’d all hold together. They had to. The old man was probably watching right now, wishing he could boss them around.

Ethan
smiled up at the blue sky and the possibility that his granddad was still with them, and it gave him calm.

“I love you,
Granddad. I hope you can see us. We’re going to be fine.”

Then he made the promise to do whatever it took
to help his wife hold them all together.

                                *   *   *

Desdemona walked into the bed and breakfast, hoping they’d see her. After all, she’d been horrible to both of them. Blaming the booze was a cop out. She’d held those emotions deep within her body for months and finally they broke free. Unfortunately, she should have said them privately to her fiancé and not in front of old acquaintances and Elizabeth.

She couldn’t believe Elizabeth didn’t beat the shit out of her for putting her hands on her. She’d heard the stories, and knew the consequences. Maybe she was hoping Elizabeth would hit her. Then maybe Callen would see that the woman wasn’t as perfect and saint
-like. Her life was at a new low when she actually wanted an ass kicking from her boss.

All she could hope was Callen would forgive her and listen to her apology. She had to have hope
. He didn’t ask for the ring back yet, so maybe there was still a chance she could be part of his life.

Her heart just wanted that one glimmering ray of hope that she could undo what she so carelessly shattered
.

Inside she stopped at the desk and waited for the woman.

“Oh hi! Desdemona, right?” asked the woman, behind the counter once she recognized the friend of the Blackhawks.

“Yes, I was wondering if they were up yet.”

“Oh, they never came back last night. Elizabeth called and said they were going to visit some people out of town, but to hold their room. They’d be back later.”

Desdemona wasn’t surprised they left. She figured she was going to be on her own, and could she blame them? It came to mind to tell the woman don’t hold her breath on them coming back.

Leaving the bed and breakfast, she hopped in her Mercedes and decided to go find someone to keep her company. She really enjoyed spending time with Holly and Ivy Delray the night before. Well, before she got shitfaced drunk, slapped her boss, and physically assaulted her fiancé.

Maybe they
would keep her busy and help her figure out where the hell her sister had gone. She swore on everything that was holy, if her sister just popped back up, she was going to kill her. After what she just threw away coming back there, hell would have no mercy…

Julian watched Desdemona walk out of the bed and breakfast. It made his job easier since she came to him. He was going to go after her and tell her where Elizabeth and Callen were, but then it occurred to him. Wouldn’t she already know? Last he knew she was engaged to Whitefox.

The entire situation didn’t bode well
if she was aimlessly wandering with no clue what was going on in Callen’s life.

Whitefox was sharing a room with Elizabeth and not staying with his woman. Well, really he couldn’t blame
him; he’d like to cozy up to Elizabeth too. On second thought, he knew how wicked she was with a gun and the ability to kill first and rationalize later.