Deeper (4 page)

Something
was definitely off with me tonight…I’d fought off an erection when her ass
brushed up against me and now I was almost caught staring at her beautiful
legs. This dry spell I was going through was definitely getting to me if I was
catching myself checking out my best friend.

She
walked to me and playfully shoved me.

“What
the fuck ever, you were totally staring at my legs, you pervert,” she teased.

My
mouth fell open.

“I
was not, you little shit!” I laughed.

“Oh
yes you were. Man, you need to get laid big time if you were checking
me
out,” she laughed, grabbing a hair tie from her dresser and pulling her long,
light brown hair into a pony tail.

“Well,
it has been a while, but why wouldn’t I check you out? Jude was right before.
You are hot Jess.”

She
scoffed and laughed.

“Okay,
whatever buddy. How long has it been for you now? Six months?”

“Why
are you keeping track of how often I’m having sex?” I asked, laughing.

“I’m
not keeping track, I just know it was around Christmas when you broke up with
that Shannon girl,” she answered, sitting on her bed criss-cross style.

I
sat down at the foot of her bed and grinned.

“Well
you’re one to tease, Jess. How long has it been since you had sex?”

She
rolled her eyes and smiled.

“You
should know the answer to that question, Kris. I’m not a slut like you. I’m still
holding onto my V-card, thank you very much.”

I
shook my head and smiled at her. I knew Jessie was still a virgin but hearing
her admit it out loud made my dick twitch. Thank God I was sitting down. Fuck I
needed to get laid.

“I
know, I’m just joking. I’m glad you’re still holding onto it.”

She
cocked her head to the side and asked, “You are? Why is that?”

“Because
nobody’s ever been good enough to take it. The guy who does is going to have a
fucking hard time getting it too because he’ll have to go through me first.”

“What
the hell does that mean?” she asked, trying to sound light but coming off as a
mix between shocked and serious.

“It
means that you’re my best friend, Jessie, and if any guy wants to get closer to
you he’s going to have to prove himself. You’re too special to just give it
away to any prick out there.”

“Well
I’ve almost made it eighteen years without sleeping with anyone and I don’t
think it will be happening any time soon, so calm the hell down. There isn’t
anyone I’m remotely interested in anyway.”

Something
about her admission made me relax. I don’t know why it concerned me as much as
it did, but knowing that she was still pure made me calm. It’s not like I
wanted to be the one that she gave her virginity to…
or did I?

The
thought hit me like a ton of bricks. I looked at Jessie, sitting on her bed in
her tiny pajamas, and I suddenly had a hard time swallowing. I couldn’t stop my
eyes from roaming from her legs to…between them. The fact that she was pure as
snow and that no one had ever even touched her there made a switch flip inside
me and my dick was rapidly getting hard. My eyes moved up to her breasts, which
were barely visible through the thin, worn cotton of her shirt. I could barely make
out her nipples, which were hardening by the second, and my mouth started to
water. They looked perfect, firm, and delicious…

I
was snapped back to reality when I felt Jessie’s hand lightly touch my arm.

“Kris?
Are you all right?” she asked, her voice now husky and barely above a whisper.

I
cleared my throat and stood up quickly, keeping my back to her so she wouldn’t
see my rapidly growing erection.

“Yeah,
I’m fine. Listen, Crystal is probably going to be out for a good twelve hours
so you should get some sleep. I’ll lock your door behind me.”

When
I turned back to look at her, her cheeks were a bright pink and she was
breathing heavily.

“Kris,
wait…”

“Good
night, Jess. I’ll call you tomorrow,” I said, and with those last words I left
her bedroom and locked the door behind me.

I
threw a hateful glance at Crystal, who was as passed out as ever, as I left and
walked down the hallway to the apartment where I lived. As soon as I was
inside, I locked up and practically ran to the bathroom. I had a raging hard on
and I needed to get rid of it right away.

I
didn’t even lock the door behind me before I unzipped my jeans and took my
rigid dick into my hand. I rested my free hand on the wall and I moaned loudly
as I stroked my cock.

As
soon as I closed my eyes, Jessie’s face flashed in my mind. I instantly
remembered her soft, sexy body in her pajamas and then I imagined getting her
out of them with her legs wrapped around my waist as I buried myself in a place
no one had ever been.

It
didn’t take long before I blew my load and I punched the wall with my fist as I
emptied myself into a towel. Panting, I slid down the wall with my pants barely
covering my ass and rested my head against the wall.
Holy fucking shit
.
I didn’t know what the hell had changed for me in the past few hours but the
only thing I knew for sure was I wanted Jessie. I wanted her
bad
and I
had no fucking idea what to do.

Jessie

I
sat in my bed completely frozen with my heart about to beat out of my chest.

What
the hell had just happened?

Kris
and I were just talking like normal and then completely out of nowhere his mood
changed and he was staring at me like he wanted to devour me. Had I imagined
that? I hoped like hell I hadn’t.

The
past few hours had been kind of strange. I was able to get a night off from The
Greasy Spoon to come to Bad Blooded Rebel’s show at Metal Cage and I was
excited. I hadn’t been to a show in almost a month and I needed a night to
relax. If I wasn’t working my ass off saving money to get out of Crystal’s
apartment, I was locked in my room to hide from her when she was strung out or drunk.

I
had a blast watching their show and dancing around to their music. Even the
douche bag that tried hitting on me didn’t spoil my good mood because Kris
stepped into help me like he always did. The night had been great all around.
Cory Brewer had heard them play and was hoping to bring them on their summer
tour, but the best part was when I bumped into Kris he seemed to react to being
close to me. That had never happened before in all the years I’d known him. I
felt a shift in our relationship that filled me with hope for the first time in
my life.

I
had been in love with Kris Engle from the first day I saw him playing outside
our apartment building with Jude, Beau, and Ryder. There was something about
him that grabbed my attention, even then when I was only five years old. On our
first day of school when he saved me from being bullied by Kyle Carter, my
heart was completely lost to him and it took everything I had every single day
to not tell him how I felt.

I’d
stuck by him through everything…his dad’s alcoholic rages when he would beat
him bloody, his heartache from growing up without a mother to save him from his
nightmare, and even going through puberty when the girls started to see what
I’d seen since I was in kindergarten.

Kris
was absolutely gorgeous with his dirty blonde hair and breathtaking green eyes.
It was heartbreaking for me to watch him being pawed at by the bitches we went
to school with and even worse when he got serious with a few of them. The night
he told me he’d lost his virginity to Ashley Clark I cried all night long and I
didn’t sleep a wink.

For
years Kris only saw me as a friend and his reaction to me tonight at the club
and just now in my room had knocked the wind out of me. I know I hadn’t
imagined it but it seemed too good to be true. There was no way Kris actually
had any kind of feelings toward me other than friendship. However, if he was to
come into my room right now and tell me he wanted me, I knew for sure that I’d
give up everything I had for him.

When
I told him tonight I was still a virgin, I obviously didn’t admit that the
reason I’d held on for so long was because I wanted him to be my first and I
was still holding out hope that he would be. I’d had my share of offers but no
one came close to Kris in my mind. He was my dream and if I had to go to my
grave still waiting for him that’s what I would do.

He’d
asked me earlier in the evening what I wanted to do for my birthday and I
answered him honestly…sort of. I definitely wanted to be with the guys but if
there was one thing I wanted for my birthday, the only thing I’d wanted for
almost every birthday, was Kris. I’d give
anything
to have him love me
like I’d always loved him.

Safely
locked inside my room and away from Crystal, I fell asleep that night with hope
flowing through me for the first time ever. I didn’t know what was going
through Kris’ mind tonight but whatever it was I prayed it was the start of
something good for us.

“Five,
four, three, two, one…and I’m officially off the clock. Hallelujah!” I laughed,
high-fiving Tiffany, my manager at The Greasy Spoon.

“I
can’t believe you worked on your birthday,” she said, smiling. “You’re officially
eighteen. You should be out doing barely legal teenager things with your
friends.”

I
smiled at her but inside I was angry and sad. I was originally off work today
but decided to ask for the extra shift when I hadn’t heard from Kris about any
birthday plans. In fact, I hadn’t heard from him at all in the past week…not
since the incident in my bedroom the night of their show.

I
had heard through Beau, Jude, and Ryder that they hadn’t heard from Cory Brewer
yet so I knew that he wasn’t gone and besides, if something that huge were to
happen for them he would tell me about it…at least I hope he would have.

At
this point, I was furious with him. Not one day had gone by in the past
thirteen years where I didn’t see Kris or talk to him in some way. For him to
avoid me like the plague for a week and not even call to tell me happy
birthday, fuck you,
anything
hurt me very badly. I think at this point
if I saw him I might punch him in his pretty face.

“Well,
that isn’t happening today so I think I’m just going to head home and chill,” I
answered, knowing full well that home was the last place I wanted to be on my
birthday.

I
didn’t want to be around Crystal and listen to her tell me for the millionth
time that she wished she never had me and that I would never mean anything to
anyone. I didn’t really have a plan but I knew for sure I didn’t want to go
home.

“Well,
whatever you do today make sure it’s fun. You deserve it, sweetheart,” said
Tiffany.

I
had always liked Tiffany. She was a single mother of two little girls and was
the only female in my life that I could remember ever being nice to me.

“Thanks,
Tiff. I’ll try,” I answered, grabbing my purse and heading toward the back
door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See
you girl. Happy birthday!” she called after me as I walked out the back door.

I
was pulling out my wallet to make sure I had change for the bus when I heard
someone whistle loudly.
Oh no
, I thought,
another pervert trying to
get my attention
. I kept my head down and continued walking toward the bus
stop.

I
was almost there when I heard a whistle again and someone yell out, “Hey
birthday girl!”

I
turned and saw my guys, all four of them, leaning up against Kris’ old truck.
Seeing Kris standing against the hood with his arms crossed and a stiff grin on
his face made me feel confused. I was elated to see him after a week of no
contact but he looked like he didn’t really want to be here. I fought past the
pain in my chest as I walked to where they were standing.

I
smiled when I reached the group. Jude was holding balloons, Beau was holding a
small cake, Ryder was holding a gift bag, and Kris was holding a small bouquet
of baby pink roses.

“Hey
guys, what’s all this?” I asked.

“It’s
not every day our girl turns eighteen,” Beau said. “Happy birthday, Jess.”

I
hugged him and smiled. I fought back tears as I made my way down the line, embracing
each one of them. When I reached Kris, I almost held myself back from hugging
him. He didn’t know what his absence this past week had done to me and I was
still angry at him. I’d had to work extra hard to hide from Crystal’s wrath.

“Hey
Kris,” I said shortly, trying to stand my ground but being tough wasn’t in the
cards for me today. When he wrapped his sculpted arms around me and enveloped
me in a warm hug I was lost. I was still hurt that he’d stayed away but I was
just happy to be back in his arms that it made the sting a little less painful.

“Happy
birthday,” he whispered into my ear.

“Thanks,”
I answered quickly, trying to ignore the tingles that shot down my spine from
feeling him against me.

“Listen,
I’m sorry I haven’t been around. Is there any chance we can talk later?”

I
released him from the hug and shrugged.

“Yeah,
I guess.”

I
wanted so much to stay angry at him but I was finding that harder and harder to
do the closer I was to him.

“So,”
Jude asked, throwing his arm around me, “are you ready to have some fun today?”

“As
long as I’m with you guys, then the rest of the day will be amazing,” I
answered honestly.

“Well,
we decided to kick the happiness up a notch and we all got you this,” Ryder
said, handing the gift bag to me.

Smiling,
I said, “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Oh
shut up and open your gift,” Beau said, grinning at me.

I
looked into the bag and pulled out a new pair of faded jeans, black Converse
shoes, a hot pink tee shirt with a skull on it that spelled “Rocker Chick” in
black glitter, and a few rectangular pieces of paper. I picked them up and when
I saw what they were my eyes went wide and I thought I was going to faint.

“Oh
my God!
Demon’s Wings tickets
? Seriously?”

“Hell
yeah, baby!” Jude answered. “The show’s in Dayton and it’s already after five
so get your cute little ass in the truck because we’ve got to go.”

I
screamed and jumped to hug Ryder. I had to be smiling from ear to ear. Even
though I loved my boys and their band so much, I had always been a sucker for
Demon’s Wings, especially their drummer, Jesse Thornton. Next to Kris he was my
favorite drummer in any band out there.

Nik
Armstrong, their lead singer, was one of the most talented singers in the music
industry and his voice could make you feel any emotion from sadness to
excitement to straight up horny.

Drake
and Shane Stevenson were two of the hottest brothers in the rock world; maybe
even on the planet. With Drake on lead guitar and Shane on bass, and it was like
watching magic happen when they all played together.

Demon’s
Wings were from Ohio too and this was their big homecoming show so it was
nearly impossible to get tickets. I didn’t think I could remember a time in my
life when I was this excited.

“So,
what are the clothes for?” I asked.

“Well
we figured you didn’t want to go home so we bought you a change of clothes so
you don’t have to deal with your egg donor today,” Ryder replied.

I
jumped up and wrapped my arms around him again, pulling him into another hug.

“You
guys are so awesome! This is already the best birthday ever.”

“We
need to get on the road if we want to make it to the show on time,” Beau said.

I
walked to the passenger side door and before I could grab the handle, Kris
opened it for me.

“Ladies
first,” he said.

“Thanks,”
I mumbled and I climbed into the back seat.

Ryder
and Jude got in behind me and Beau got into the front seat. As soon as Kris was
behind the wheel, he adjusted his rear view mirror and our eyes caught in the
reflection. They were hard to read and he looked like he had a million things
to say but couldn’t. Before my mind could wander, I felt Jude’s strong arm wrap
around my shoulders and pull me into a hug.

“You
ready to be rocked so hard that your face melts off, birthday girl?”

Despite
my gray mood earlier and bumming about Kris, I had never been more excited to
see a live show in my life. I had always wanted to go to a Demon’s Wings
concert but never thought I’d ever get the chance. The seats were floor level
so guys must have spent a fortune on these tickets…it must have taken all of
the money from their shows and day jobs combined. I fought back tears of love
as I looked at each of them. I loved my boys so much.

“Hell
yes I am! Let’s do this!” I shouted.

Jude
ruffled my hair as Beau put Demon’s Wings latest album into the CD player and
cranked it up.

To
say our view of the band was amazing was the biggest understatement
ever
.
We weren’t front row but were still on the floor and the view of the band was
incredible
.
Even though coming to this concert was a birthday gift for me, it was so great
for the guys too because it seemed to really inspire them. Not only was Demon’s
Wings an incredibly talented band but the energy coming from them was electric.
I could practically see the wheels turning in Ryder, Beau, Kris, and Jude’s
heads as they took it all in. I loved that my guys weren’t jealous and trashed
other bands they thought sucked but tried to learn something from everyone.
There was a hell of a lot they could learn from Demon’s Wings and I couldn’t
wait to see how they improved.

The
concert was memorable not only for the music but for how close I was to Kris
through the whole show. His seat was next to mine and it seemed like he’d found
ways to touch me all night long. A simple stoke of the cheek, tucking my hair
behind my ear, brushing his fingers up and down my arm…I didn’t know if he was
trying to make up for avoiding me last week but whatever he was doing was
working like a charm because my anger at him was melting away touch by touch.