Deidre's Death (#2, Rhyn Eternal) (11 page)

“You’re certain about the bottom three? The
bad ones?” Gabriel asked.

“As certain as can be, based on what I know.
The top three and bottom three seem pretty solid to me. But who
knows if a shrub or flower is more or less pure, based on the
distance from the sky? Is this a sunflower that’s taller than me or
like, a daisy?”

Gabriel laughed. “Yeah, I get it. Great
work.”

Tamer rolled his eyes then smiled. “You’re
not so bad to work for. You need any death-dealers?”

“Don’t joke about that. The dealers lose
their souls when they come work for me.”

“Offer’s always out there. I can fight, and
I hate most people.”

“I’ll let you know.” Gabriel stood. Tamer
was serious, but Gabriel wasn’t about to take him up on it when his
own dealers were ditching him. He always hated the enslavement of
the death dealers; he refused to give Death his soul until forced
to make a deal with her for Rhyn’s life a few months ago. It never
sat well with him that those charged with enforcing Death’s mission
served not out of choice but obligation to the deity that stole
their souls.

It was one of the first things he’d change,
if he ever made it back to the underworld.

Gabriel.
Andre’s summons came a little later than Gabriel
was expecting.

“I’m out. Let me know if you get anything
else,” he said, standing.

“You serious about demons being after me?”
Tamer asked.

“Talk to Rhyn.”

Tamer shook his head at the mention of Rhyn.
Gabriel returned to the study of the Immortals stronghold. Andre
was seated, as if he’d never moved. Midmorning sunlight streamed in
through the large windows at the rear of the study. Gabriel
squinted, unaccustomed to so much light after all his years in the
underworld. He sat with his back to the windows.

Andre was grave, the first warning things
hadn’t gone well.

“Do you want to clean up first?” the
Immortal asked politely, gaze on the demon blood on Gabriel’s
clothing.

“No,” Gabe replied. “I gotta go back out
after this. The tumor?”

“Gone.”

Gabriel nodded and felt himself relax. His
mate wasn’t going to die after all. He didn’t need to stop with a
kiss next time. He liked that idea more than he thought he
should.

Except that Andre wasn’t smiling. The
Ancient Immortal was studying him hard. If Gabriel wasn’t immune to
the mind manipulation magic, he suspected Andre would be using it
on him right now.

“This sounds like good news to me. What’s
wrong?” Gabriel asked.

Andre was quiet for a long moment. Gabriel
sensed he was trying to balance his natural inclination to be
discreet with his obligation to serve the deity that raised him
from the dead-dead.

“There never was a tumor in the head of this
Deidre,” the Immortal said cryptically.

Gabriel waited for more. Andre smiled.

“You’re certain there was one in her head
the other night, right?” Gabriel asked.

“Yes.”

Of course, it was possible that Darkyn
combined the souls into Deidre’s new body, after raising her from
the dead-dead. Perhaps the other body hadn’t been salvageable.
Deidre hadn’t tried to dye her hair pink or hide the fact she was
different.

If it was so simple, Andre wouldn’t be
trying to drop a hint without betraying the confidence of
Deidre.

“Do I need to be careful?” Gabriel asked
uneasily.

“Careful? No. She’s completely enamored by
you and has no power, so she poses no danger. But” Andre paused,
debating silently “I’d say you need to determine how much you are
willing to trust her.”

“I figured that much.”

“Then you know what you need to know. Keep
in mind there’s more to the story than what there appears to be,”
Andre added. “I’ve said more than I feel comfortable saying.”

“Thank you, Andre.”

Dread was heavy in Gabriel’s stomach. Andre
read her mind. It was clear Gabriel’s instincts about his inability
to trust her were right, and Gabriel had no idea how to interpret
Andre’s warning.

Gabriel.
It was Deidre summoning him.

“Speak of the devil. I’ve gotta go,” Gabriel
said, standing.

A moment passed before he appeared. He was
like a massive shadow among the sunny forest, dressed all in black
and armed as if for battle, even when coming to see her. His dark
eyes went from her to Cora, and he lifted his chin in silent
command to dismiss the death dealer.

Deidre had never seen him like this, as a
quietly commanding figure, capable of lethal force one moment and
gentle kisses the next. With his chiseled features and muscular
frame, he was without a doubt the sexiest man she’d ever seen. How
had she never noticed his subtle power before?

He was waiting.

“I, uh …” She felt herself caught in his
gaze. “I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to see you.”

“Alright.”

She sighed. There was an edge to him, subtle
but present. One that told her Andre was right about him not
trusting her. Why did she want to cry again? What emotions were
distressing her this time?

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” she murmured. “I shouldn’t have
disturbed you.”

“You’re not,” he said. “You like the
forest?”

“I love it,” she said honestly, smiling as
she gazed around. “The colors, the smells. It’s incredible.” Her
gaze lingered on a small bunch of colorful flowers hugging the base
of a tree. “It’s good not to be dead.”

“If you say so.” He was studying her.

“Do you like the forest?” she asked,
suddenly nervous under his scrutiny.

“If you do, I do.”

Her face felt warm. She met his gaze. He
offered his hand. Deidre stepped forward to take it, and they began
walking down the path. She was lost for a moment in the sensations
of his warm hand clasping hers. The trail was narrow enough that
she found herself running into his frame or leaning against him.
His scent and heat, the warmth of his magic, the heady sensations
of being so close to him …

She concentrated on placing her feet and not
on his body.

“Andre said your tumor is gone,” Gabriel
said.

“Yes,” she answered.

He lifted his arm to guide her ahead of him
as the path narrowed. His other hand went to her back. Deidre’s
insides were shaking already from the touches. When he pulled her
to a stop, she held her breath. His thick body was at her back, and
he shifted close enough to remain in contact while his large hands
settled on her arms.

“Do you see them?” he asked.

She blinked, pulling her attention from the
heat racing through her body. In a clearing that started a few feet
away was a small herd of elk. A majestic buck, several dark does, a
couple of spindly-legged fawns. Deidre watched, intrigued by how
graceful and silent the large creatures were as they moved through
the clearing.

“They’re beautiful,” she said. “They’re like
you. They’re pretty light on their feet for being so big.”

“Thanks,” he said with a snort.

The quiet between them felt awkward. She
leaned back, resting her head on his chest. He wrapped an arm
around her shoulders. Tucked against him, she was comfortable but
unable to relax, too aware of the effect his size and strength had
on her. She waited for him to say something about all that Andre
had pried out of her. Would he be holding her like he was, if he
knew?

No. It wasn’t possible. He was too good.
Andre was serious about leaving her to tell him. The feeling she
didn’t like – guilt – crept into her. She didn’t want to keep
secrets from Gabriel. If she did, she was making it harder for him
to trust her. She didn’t want to think about the human she’d left
in the hands of the demon lord.

Revealing her secrets, though, would drive
Gabriel away forever.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

She almost gasped, wondering if he was
reading her mind. She reminded herself if he did, he wouldn’t be
holding her. He’d be condemning her to Hell the same way she did
the human he loved.

“I’m thinking …I waited my whole life for
this moment,” she replied.

“Are you happy?”

“No,” she whispered. “It’s not like I wanted
it to be. I thought it’d be easier.”

“Being human isn’t easy.”

“I’m seeing that. How do I … earn your
trust, Gabriel? So you want to be with me?”

He shifted behind her and was quiet for a
long moment. She held her breath, wondering if he meant to respond
or not. She hated not being able to read his mind and see his
thoughts, the way she had for the thousands of years they served
the underworld together. Was he angry at her? Judging her? Did he
think she was weak, the way she thought he was weak when their
roles were reversed?

“Let’s get something
straight. I already
want
to be with you,” he started. “When we were on the
beach last, you challenged me to win you over. I think we both have
that issue now.”

“You don’t have to win me,” she
returned.

“You don’t trust me, either. Pretty sure
you’re hiding something important. If you trusted me, that wouldn’t
be the case.”

“I did not think of it that way,” she said,
abruptly dismayed. “What if what I am not telling you drove you
away?”

“That won’t happen.”

“Hmmmm.”

“There’s the problem.” He chuckled. “I don’t
know shit about a functional relationship, but being with you all
those years taught me what a dysfunctional one was. I never trusted
you. You never trusted me. That is the first fucking thing we’ll
figure out this time around.”

“We were dysfunctional?”

“Seriously?”

“I thought everything was fine,” she
said.

“You know that’s not the case now,
right?”

“I don’t know,” she said. After a pause, she
continued. “Gabriel, I didn’t know you were unhappy with me.”

“You didn’t have the capacity to care.”

“But I
did
care. So much I gave up
everything to be right here, right now.”

He said nothing.

“You know that, don’t you?” she pressed,
heart fluttering.

“I know what you were capable of as a deity.
I’m afraid to know what you’ve done to get here,” he said softly.
“No matter what it was, though, you’re my mate. I’ll protect you,
Deidre, I promise it. It’s my duty and obligation. I want it to be
more, but that might take time, if we ever get there.”

Deidre listened. She wanted to believe him.
Would he really accept her once she told him she sacrificed an
innocent human to the Dark One? A human he might have loved?

She was terrified by the thought of him
leaving her. Or rejecting her. Or worse, staying with her for
eternity but hating her.

“We can start with you telling me your
secret.”

“There’s nothing to tell you,” she
whispered. “Will you answer a question for me, Gabriel?”

“I’ll do my best.”

Her heart fell further. By the cool tone, he
was as far from trusting her as she was from revealing her
secret.

“I know I’m … different now than I was the
other night when we were on the beach,” she said hesitantly. “Does
that disappoint you? Me being different?”

Gabriel was quiet for a long moment, which
she took as a bad sign. If he had to think about how to respond, it
probably wasn’t good.

“I don’t know who you are, Deidre. I never
have. If you don’t stop lying to me, I never will,” he replied. “It
doesn’t matter what color your hair is or what Darkyn did to you.”
There was more that he wasn’t saying, and she suspected he was
protecting her from the truth.

“You loved her. Me,” she corrected quickly.
“The human version of me better.”

Gabriel released her and moved away. Deidre
felt the pain again, the one without a physical source but which
she felt as if a knife was piercing her soul.

“You both lied to me,” he said. “You both
trusted Darkyn over me.”

No, this definitely wasn’t what she expected
when she made the choices she did long ago to start this
chain-of-events. She didn’t remember what those choices involved
but didn’t think it mattered. The chain-of-events had unfolded the
way she planned, except that Gabriel didn’t fall into her lap, and
she had lost all her power in the process. There was too much
resentment in his voice for it to be the result of one week with
the human she created.

Her Gabriel had distrusted her – hated her
even? – for much longer. Dysfunctional? She thought what they had
was special, never realizing he was miserable. Her chin trembled,
and suddenly, she cursed the human emotions. They made her weak and
frightened. The goddess she had been would mock her for choosing to
become what she’d always despised.