Deity (26 page)

“Alexandria—”

“No.” I cut Apollo off and stood before Aiden could stop me. “I’m not going into hiding because there’s a
chance
that Seth might do something.”

“Then forget the issue with Seth.” Aiden stood, folding his arms. “You need to be protected from the Order.”

“We can’t forget about Seth.” I started pacing, wanting to pull out my hair. “If I up and disappear, what do you think Seth’s going to do? Especially if we don’t tell him, which I know is what you guys are thinking.”

Apollo rose to his feet and tipped his head back. “This would be so much easier if you had an agreeable personality.”

“Sorry, buddy.” I stopped, meeting Aiden’s steely eyes. “But I can’t go along with this. And if you really think that the Order is going to try something again, then we need Seth’s help.”

Aiden turned halfway, his broad shoulders tensed as he growled under his breath. Typically, I’d be annoyed with the testosterone display, but yeah, I kind of found it hot.

The Sun God sighed. “For now, you win, but if I so much as think that this will end badly—”

“How can things end badly?” I asked.

“Besides the obvious?” Apollo frowned. “If Seth does what is feared, the gods would bring their wrath down upon all pures and halfs to make a point. And as I was saying, if it was even to get to that point, you will have no choice.”

“Then why don’t you just let the Order kill me? That would solve all your problems, wouldn’t it?” Not that I wanted to die, but it did make sense. Even I could see that. “Seth wouldn’t become the God Killer then.”

“Like I said, it is complicated.” Then Apollo simply vanished.

“I hate when he does that,” I glanced at Aiden. He stared back at me, brows furrowed jaw tight. I sighed. “Don’t look at me like I’ve kicked a baby pegasus into the street.”

Aiden exhaled slowly. “Alex, I don’t agree with this. You have to know that we are only looking out for what is best for you.”

Hot or not, there went my tenuous grip on my temper. “I don’t need you looking out for what’s best for me, Aiden. I’m not a child!”

His eyes narrowed. “I of all people know you’re not a child, Alex. And I sure as hell didn’t treat you like one last night.”

My cheeks flushed a hot mix of embarrassment and something far, far different. “Then don’t make decisions for me.”

“We’re trying to help you. Why can’t you see that?” Then his eyes deepened to a tumultuous gray. “I will not lose you again.”

“You haven’t lost me, Aiden. I promise you.” Some of the anger seeped out of me. Fear was behind his fury. I could understand that. It was what drove my tantrums on a regular basis. “You haven’t and you won’t.”

“That’s not a promise you can make. Not when there are so many things that could go wrong.”

I didn’t know what to say to that.

Aiden crossed the room, sweeping me up in a tight embrace. There wasn’t a word spoken for several moments just the ragged rise and fall of his chest.

“I know you’re mad,” he began, “and that you hate the idea of anyone trying to control you or force you into doing something.”

“I’m not mad.”

He pulled back, arching a brow.

“Okay. I’m mad, but I understand why you think I should go into hiding.”

He led me back to the couch. “But you’re not going to go along with this.”

“No.”

Aiden pulled me into his lap, circling his arms around me. My heart did a flip and it took me a few seconds to get accustomed to this openly affectionate Aiden who didn’t pull away and keep his distance.

“You are the most frustrating person I know,” he said.

I rested my head on his shoulder, smiling. “None of you are giving Seth a chance. He hasn’t done anything, and I don’t have any reason to fear him.”

“He’s lied to you, Alex.”

“Who hasn’t lied to me?” I pointed out. “Look, I know that’s not a great excuse, and you’re right, he has lied to me. I know that, but he hasn’t done anything that warrants me running off and hiding. We have to give him a chance.”

“And what if we take that risk and you were wrong, Alex? Then what?”

I hoped that wouldn’t be the case. “Then I’ll have to deal with it.”

His shoulder tensed under my cheek. “I’m not okay with that. I’ve already failed you once and—”

“Don’t say that.” Twisting in his embrace, I met his gaze and cupped his cheeks. “You had no idea Linard was working for the Order. You are not at fault for that.”

He pressed his forehead against mine. “I should’ve been able to protect you.”

“I don’t need you to protect me, Aiden. I need you to do what you’re doing now.”

“Hold you?” His lips twitched. “I can do that.”

I kissed him, and my chest squeezed. Never in a million years would I get used to being able to kiss him. “Yes, that, but I just need… your love and your trust. I know you can fight for me, but I don’t need you to do that. These problems—they’re mine, not yours, Aiden.”

His arms tightened around me, so tight, I found it hard to breathe. “Because I love you, we share each other’s problems. When we fight, we fight together. I’m going to be by your side no matter what, whether you like it or not. That’s what love is, Alex. You never have to face anything alone again. And I get what you’re saying. I don’t agree with it, but I will support you in any way I can.”

I was struck silent. There was really nothing I could say to that. I wasn’t that great with words, not those kinds of words. So I wrapped myself around him like a super-friendly octopus. When he leaned back, I settled over him, not caring that he was still in his Sentinel gear, daggers and all. Quite some time passed before either of us spoke.

“Seth’s not really a bad guy,” I said. “He can be prone to moments of great douchery, but he wouldn’t do something like take out the Council.”

Aiden’s fingers slipped over my cheek. “I wouldn’t put anything past Seth.”

I decided not to respond to that. Since the phone call after Linard’s attack, I hadn’t even heard from Seth. And now that I had calmed down a bit, I started to think logically about what Apollo had said. “Everyone fears Seth—the gods, the pures, and the Order—because he’ll become the God Killer, right?”

“Right,” he murmured. His hand drifted to my shoulder, brushing my hair back.

“Well, what if he doesn’t become the God Killer?”

His hand stilled. “You mean if we stop the transfer of power? That’s what we’re trying to do by keeping you away from Seth.”

“I seriously doubt that’s the sole purpose of keeping me away from Seth.”

“You got me there,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

Tipping my head up, I decided it was way past time to clear the air. Aiden first… and then Seth, because the last thing I wanted was for anyone to be hurt over this. “I care about Seth—I do. He’s important to me, but it’s not the same. You know you don’t have anything to worry about, right? What Seth and I had… well, I don’t even know what we had. It wasn’t a relationship, not really. He asked to try and see what happens. And this is what happened.”

Aiden caught a strand of my hair between his fingers. “I know. I trust you, Alex. But that doesn’t mean I trust him.”

There was no winning this with him. “Anyway, I can talk to Seth and let him know what’s going on with the Order and what people fear.”

“And you think he’ll go along with that?”

“I do. Seth won’t force me into anything by using the… connection against us.” I wiggled up Aiden’s chest and kissed his chin. “Seth once told me that if things ever became… too much, he’d leave. So there is a way out.”

“Huh, he actually said that?” His eyes burned silver. “Maybe he’s not so bad.”

“He’s not.”

“I don’t like this, but like I said, I will support you any way that I can.”

“Thank you.” I kissed his cheek again.

A sigh shuddered through him. “Alex?”

“What?”

He leaned back, watching me through heavy lashes. “Did you guys eat all the cookie dough last night or did you actually make any cookies?”

I laughed at the turn in conversation. “We made some. I think there might be a few left.”

“Good.” He placed his hands on my hips and tugged me forward, pressing our bodies together. “What’s Valentine’s Day without cookies?”

“I think the mortals put a lot of emphasis on chocolate this time of the year.” I placed my hands on his shoulders, and the stuff with angry gods, Order members, Seth, and everything else took the back seat. “But cookies work.”

One hand slid up the curve of my spin, slipping under the mass of tangled hair and sending a fine shiver over my skin. “So there’s no lame Christmas tree involved?”

“There’s no such thing as a Mortal Holiday Tree.” My breath caught as he guided my mouth toward his, stopping just as our lips brushed. “But… but I’m sure the mortals would appreciate the thought of that kind of tree.”

“You do?” He pressed his mouth to one corner of my lips and then the other. Eyes drifting shut, my fingers dug into his shirt. When he kissed me slowly, pouring all his unstated passions into that one act, his powerful body tensed under mine.

I couldn’t remember what we were talking about. There was just the heady, wild rush of feelings that stormed through me. This was Aiden—the man I’d loved for what felt like forever, in my arms, under me, against me, and touching me.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he murmured.

Aiden held me close and still, and in those moments, he showed rather than told me just how much we were in this together.

CHAPTER 24

I’D FANTASIZED SO MANY TIMES ABOUT WHAT IT would be like to be in a relationship with Aiden. There had been days, not too long ago, that I would’ve smacked that dream right out of my head because it seemed so hopeless. But for a week I lived that fantasy to the fullest.

We stole as many moments alone as we could, filling them with deep kisses and quiet laughter. And plans, we actually made plans.

Or at least we tried to.

My back arched and a giggle escaped.

“Oh, so you
are
ticklish?” Aiden murmured against the flushed skin of my neck. “This is a very interesting development.”

It seemed that, when we were together, we could never keep our hands off each other for very long. Aiden had to be touching some part of me. Whether it was just a slight contact of skin, his hand wrapped around mine or our bodies flush with our legs tangled lazily, we were
always
touching.

Maybe it was because he’d fought it for so long or maybe we both were crazy, intoxicated by the simple act of just lying together, and we were addicted to it. Our legs pressed together and our heads rested on the arm of the couch in the room with the family portraits. It was safe in here as no one dared to enter it. What had once been Aiden’s sanctuary had become ours.

Today was no different.

But it wasn’t all fun. As the days passed and I knew Seth’s return was approaching, anxious energy built inside me. There was also barb-tipped guilt that sank in deep. Sometimes, when I thought of him, I remembered those glimpses of vulnerability he’d shown after our midnight swim in the Catskills and the day after I’d been given the brew. Seth was a lot of things, almost a complete enigma at times, but under it all, he was a guy who… who cared, and he cared about me. Maybe more than I did for him. Maybe not, but I didn’t want to hurt him.

I wiggled on the couch beside Aiden, trying to shake the sudden dark cloud that’d settled over me. Talking to Seth wasn’t going to be easy. Then again, I had no idea how he would respond. He’d been with Boobs…so maybe it wouldn’t be that hard.

“So tell me,” Aiden continued idly, drawing me back to the present—to him. “Where was that spot again? Was it here?” He trailed his fingers over my stomach.

“No.” My eyes closed as my heart jumped and tiny shivers skated through me.

“Here?” His fingers danced over my ribs.

Beyond words, I shook my head no.

“Now where was that spot?”

His agile fingers skipped over my stomach and along my side. I clamped my mouth shut, but my body shook as I tried to restrain my natural reaction.

“Aha! Is this it?” He increased the pressure slightly.

I squirmed, but he was relentless. He laughed when I jack knifed, and I would’ve tumbled to the floor if it weren’t for his quick movement. “Stop,” I gasped in between fits of giggles, “I can’t take it.”

“All right, maybe I should be nice.” Aiden pulled me back to his side and leaned over me. He plucked a strand of hair and twisted it around his two fingers. “Anyway, back to the question at hand. What place other than New Orleans?”

I ran my hand down his arm, loving the way his muscles seemed to clench under the skin I touched. “How about Nevada? There’re no Covenants nearby. The closest is the University.”

He leaned down, brushing his lips over my cheek. “Are you suggesting Las Vegas?”

I fixed an innocent look on my face. “Well, there’d be a lot of daimons, since you pures like to party there, but no real Hematoi establishments of any kind.”

“First New Orleans and now Las Vegas?” He brushed his lips back and forth as his fingers tipped my head back. “I’m starting to see a trend here.”

“I don’t know.” My breath caught as he pressed down. “Maybe you can’t handle Las Vegas.”

Aiden smirked. “I love a challenge.”

I giggled, but all humor fled the moment his lips touched mine again. I could go on just kissing him forever. They were gentle kisses at first, soft and questioning. My fingers sank through his hair, clenching him closer, and the kisses deepened. I shifted and wrapped my arms around him, wanting to be able to push the stop button on time. I could stay here forever, feeling his body molded to mine, melting together—I froze against him.

The feeling slithering down my spine was unmistakable. The three runes that had been dormant since Seth left now woke up with a vengeance, burning and tingling. The cord snapped alive, responding to its other half.

His lips moved down my neck, over my collarbone. “What is it?”

There was no stop button for time. Dammit. “Seth’s here, like he’s right outside.”

Aiden lifted his head. “Seriously?”

I nodded stiffly.

He swore under his breath and sprang to his feet. I started to get up, but he held out his hand. “Let me just check this out first, Alex.”

“Aiden—”

Swooping down, he clasped my shoulders and kissed me until I almost forgot about the way the cord was unraveling in the pit of my stomach. “Just let me check this out, okay?” he whispered.

I nodded and watched him prowl toward the door. With a quick reassuring smile, he left the room. It was probably a good thing that he was going out to greet Seth. I needed a few moments to collect myself after that last kiss.

Nervous energy rushed me and the cord thrummed happily. Agitated, I rose to my feet within a minute and crossed the room. Seth was near. I knew it deep in my bones. I stopped in front of the cracked door and held my breath.

They were in the hallway, alone. And of course they were arguing already. I rolled my eyes.

“You think I don’t know?” I heard Seth say in a smug, knowing way. “That I didn’t know this entire time I’ve been gone?”

“Know what?” Aiden sounded surprisingly calm.

Seth laughed softly. “She may be here with you, right now, but that’s just a moment in time in the big scheme of things. And all moments end, Aiden. Yours will, too.”

I wanted to throw open the door and tell Seth to shut up.

“Sounds like something on the back of a twisted Hallmark card,” replied Aiden. “But perhaps your time has already ended.”

There was a stretch of silence and I could picture the two of them. Aiden would be coolly looking down on Seth, who would be smiling arrogantly and secretly enjoying the whole confrontation. Sometimes I wanted to smack them both.

“It doesn’t really matter,” said Seth. “That’s what you don’t get. She can love you and it still doesn’t matter. We belong together. It’s fated. Have your moments, Aiden, because in the end, it really won’t mean a damn thing.”

That was it. I threw open the door and stormed out into the hallway. Neither of them even turned around, and I knew they heard me fly out of the room. Beyond them I could see the shadows of the Guards through the tiny square windows on each side of the door.

“You really think that?” Aiden cocked his head to the side. “If so, then you’re a damn fool.”

Seth smiled. “I’m not the fool here, pure-blood. She doesn’t belong to you.”

“She belongs to no one,” Aiden growled as his hands flexed by his hips, where his daggers normally hung.

“Debatable,” Seth said, so low I wasn’t even sure I’d heard him correctly.

I shoved between the two idiots before one of them did some damage. “You don’t own me, Seth.”

Seth finally looked at me, his eyes a cool amber. “We need to talk.”

That we did. I glanced at the furious pure-blood beside me. This wasn’t going to be pretty.

“In private,” Seth added.

“What can you possibly need to say that you can’t say in front of me?” Aiden asked.

“Aiden,” I groaned. “You promised, remember?” I didn’t need to say any more. Aiden knew. “I do need to talk to him.”

“Nothing will happen to her. Not when she’s with me.”

I spun around. “Just let me get my hoodie. Try not to kill each other.”

“No promises,” Seth smirked.

Grabbing my hoodie off the back of the couch, I quickly hauled it on and hoofed it back to the hallway. Gods knew a second of those two together was a second too long. I passed Aiden a meaningful look as I followed Seth to the front door. He looked severely unhappy, but nodded.

Brutal temperatures sucked away my breath as I stepped outside. I was unable to remember the last time it’d been this cold in North Carolina. Seth wore just a black thermal and cargos. Nothing else. I wondered If I got built-in weather padding once I Awakened.

The Guards immediately stepped aside, revealing the strong winter sun glaring off the still waters. At first I was surprised, but then I remembered whose Guards they were—Lucian’s.

Aiden moved uneasily. His hands opened and closed at his sides.

Seth feigned a look of sympathy. “Don’t look too happy about this, Aiden.”

I kicked Seth in the shin.

“Ouch,” he hissed, blasting me with a look. “Kicking is not nice.”

“Antagonizing people isn’t nice,” I shot back.

Aiden sighed. “You have twenty minutes. Then we’ll come looking for you.”

Backing down the steps, Seth bowed at Aiden and then pivoted around. Wind caught and tossed his hair around. Sometimes I forgot how… beautiful Seth was. He could give Apollo a run for his money. Both of them had this type of cold beauty that didn’t seem real, because it was flawless both far away and up close.

I fell into step beside him, shoving my hands into the center pocket of my hoodie. “I wasn’t expecting you back so soon.”

Seth arched a golden eyebrow. “Really? I’m not surprised by that.”

My cheeks flushed. There was no way he could’ve known what had happened between Aiden and me. The bond didn’t work over that many miles. Taking a deep breath, I womaned up. “Seth, I have to—”

“I already know, Alex.”

“What?” I stopped, pushing my hair out of my face. “You know what?”

He faced me and leaned in, bringing his face mere inches from mine. The cord went crazy inside me, but it was manageable… as long as he didn’t touch me. Oh gods, this wasn’t going to be easy. “I know everything.”

“Everything” could mean a lot of things. I hunched my shoulders, squinting against the harsh glare. “What exactly do you know?”

His lips tipped into a small smile. “Well, let’s see. I know about
that,
” he gestured to the St. Delphi house, “back there. I knew that was going to happen.”

I went hot and cold all at once. “Seth, I’m really sorry. I don’t want to hurt you.”

He stared at me a moment, then laughed. “Hurt me? Alex, I’ve always known how you’ve felt about him.”

Okay. I must’ve been on crack when I thought I’d seen vulnerability in Seth before. Silly me, he was the boy with no feelings or something. But even for the cocky, annoying version of Seth, he was taking this surprisingly well—too well. My suspicions skyrocketed. “Why are you so okay with this?”

“Am I supposed to be upset? Is that what you want?” He tipped his head to the side, brows slanted. “Do you want me to be jealous? Is that what it takes?”

“No!” I felt my face flush again. “I just didn’t expect you to be so… okay with it.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say I’m okay with it. It is what it is.”

I stared at him and then a thought struck me. “You’re not going to turn him in, are you?”

Seth slowly shook his head. “How would that benefit me? You’d be in servitude and on the elixir.”

And I wouldn’t Awaken, which it always seemed to come down to, and I was big enough person to admit that stung. I wondered what bothered Seth more—my life being virtually over or my Awakening not happening. I looked away, biting my lip. “Seth, I found some stuff out while you were gone.”

“So did I,” he responded evenly.

That was cryptic. “You had to know about the Order and how an Apollyon is made.”

His expression didn’t change. “Why is that?”

Frustration flared. “You once said that when you Awakened, you knew everything from the previous Apollyons. One of them would’ve known about the Order, and about how they were born. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Seth sighed. “Alex, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t see a point.”

“How could you not see a point after everything that happened to me in New York? If you’d told me about the Order, I could’ve been better prepared.”

He looked away, lips pursing.

“And I asked you while we were there if you knew what that symbol meant,” I said. Anger and so much disappointment swamped me. I didn’t even try to shield my emotions from him. “You said you didn’t know. When I asked if you knew about a half and a pure mixing, you said you guessed your father had to be a half. You knew the truth. What I don’t get is why you didn’t tell me.”

“I was told not to.”

“What?” Seth started walking, and I hurried to catch up with him. “Who told you not to tell me?”

He stared up the beach. “Does it matter?”

“Yes!” I practically shrieked. “It does matter. How can we have anything If I don’t trust you?”

His brows shot up. “What
do
we have exactly, Alex? I do remember telling you that you had a choice. I didn’t ask for labels or expectations.”

I remembered that, too. The night in the pool seemed forever ago. Part of me missed that playful Seth.

“And you made your choice,” Seth continued softly. “You made your choice even when you said you chose me.”

I also remembered that fleeting, satisfied look when I had said that I’d chosen him. Shaking my head, I searched for something to say. “Seth, I—”

“I don’t want to talk about this.” He stopped where the sand faded into pavement, reached down and brushed his knuckles across my cheek. I jerked back, startled by the contact and the electric shock that followed. Seth lowered his hand, staring at the backs of the small shops lining the main road. “Anything else you want to talk about?”

He hadn’t answered a damn question, but I did have one more. “Did you see my father, Seth?”

“No.” He met my eyes.

“Did you even look for him?”

“Yes. Alex, I couldn’t find him. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t there.” He pushed back the shorter strands that had been blown free. “Anyway, I brought you back a gift.”

I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right, but then he repeated it, and my heart sank. “Seth, you shouldn’t have brought me anything.”