Delayed Penalty (34 page)

It felt good to be close with her like this, feel myself moving inside her. Sure there was fear and anger anytime I thought about how I fell for her and who had hurt her, but this girl wrecked me. I was here, physically conveying my love.

Ami took my face in her hands and kissed me, pouring more emotion and love into that one kiss than I had ever felt in my lifetime.

There were so many times these last five months that I had to physically stop myself from feeling or thinking certain emotions, afraid of where they would lead me. Right here, right now, I wanted to feel everything, breathe it in, and remember it. I wanted her to feel those very same things just by touching my skin and feeling my breath.

I loved her. I wanted her not just to know it but to feel it consume her. I wanted my love beating in her heart.

When I came, she was watching me, the same passion displayed on her face as I felt. My eyes closed, feeling every last electrifying pulsation throughout my body. My breath, heavy and warm, touched her cheek and she sighed, her arms wrapping around me a little tighter.

Pressing my lips to her neck, I whispered that I loved her, so quietly, but I knew she heard me.

Rolling to lay beside her, I removed the condom.

That was when I heard her whimper, her hands brushing over her cheeks. The lighting was low, but I could see the tears sliding from the corner of her eyes.

"Shit…are you okay?" I asked, pulling the sheets up and around her shivering frame. My breath washed over her, turning her to face me. My hands gently cradled her head.

"Yes." Her voice shook. She wasn't okay. "I just have something in my eye."

"Bullshit." I touched her cheek, wiping away the tears with my thumb. "Did I hurt you?"

"No really, I have something in my eye," she lied, trying her luck again and sniffing, her body still trembling.

"Come here, you little emotional girl." I patted the bed, trying to coax her over to me.

She hesitated for a brief moment, wiping her eyes, and then looked over at me and then back to the ceiling. "All right, not so drunk boy, I'm gonna be a total emotional girl right now." I laughed, watching the tears as she refused to look at me, instead staring at the ceiling. "Can you just hold me?"

"I thought you just had something in your eye?" I whispered into her hair, my arms loosening around her so I could rub smooth circles over her back.

"I do. Tears."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. Just hold me. Stop talking. You're ruining my moment."

I did.

"Don't let go," she begged, tightening her arms around me. "Please, don't ever let go."

My arms wrapped a little tighter, an unspoken promise I would never break.

It had taken me a while, but I finally realized that Ami didn't need me to protect her. Though I always would, she needed me to be there for her. Just
be
there.

"Did it hurt?" I asked, pouring her a cup of coffee the next morning. My condo was trashed. There were beer bottles, red Solo cups, and empty bags of chips. A party went down here last night. After we got back from Philly, the party ended up at my place and then eventually at Leo's. I knew his place was worse than this, but instead of cleaning, I had other ideas for our afternoon together.

"Yes, at first, but it got better." Her eyes lifted from her cereal bowl and winked. "Wanna try again?"

I quirked an eyebrow, acknowledging her statement, and then swiftly carried her away. It was amazing how fast I was able to scoop her up.

She squealed when I slammed the door to the bathroom shower. My hands fell from her wrists, having moved to her hips, and settled on her panties. Bunching the fabric in my fingers, I gave them a rough and sudden tug that tore them away.

"Fuck, you feel so good," I moaned when I entered her moments later.

"I love your voice." She arched around me, her body curving to me.

"I know you do." I moved to kiss her brow.

"Evan..." She breathed. My dick was so fucking hard it hurt, actually ached. "Fuck me the way a hockey player would."

My breath came out in a growl when she said shit like that. I struggled with that because of what she went through. I constantly had to remind myself that she'd tell me if she ever felt uncomfortable with anything we did—she would tell me.

"You've been rough before, right?"

I grinned. I was sure I had Callie to thank for that one.

"I heard—"

My kiss cut her off. "I don't care what you heard. You're different."

"I want
you
. Not someone you're pretending to be."

"I'm not pretending." I tried to play off my tone, but I was concerned with where this was going. "With you…this is me."

Ami looked at me and then smiled. "I want it a little rough. I just want to see the side all those puck bunnies saw. I want to see Evan Masen the NHL defenseman."

"There wasn't that many. You know that, right?"

Ami rolled her eyes. "Still…"

I wasn't getting out of this. "Fuck, fine." She noticed when I started to hesitate.

"Stop holding back," she pleaded, pressing her lips to my throat. "I want you to lose control with me. I'm not a china doll, damn it. You won't break me, and I'm not scared of you." She looked at my amused expression. "You don't always have to be so gentle."

"I'm not," I teased. "I pulled your hair once."

She glared. "Not at all what I mean."

She bit down on my neck, just above my collarbone. I let out a low growl as my lips parted, and I started to pant. My fingers curled against her, but still, I couldn't do it.

"You'll be sore tomorrow. Ready for that?"

She looked at her underwear on the floor, and if I didn't know any better, you would have thought I had just proposed judging by the glow on her face.

I wasn't sure what Callie had told Ami about us, but I had never seen Ami that into sex. She was screaming and moaning, and fuck if I didn't give it to her. Once I got into it, it felt good to finally relax with her and not have to be so gentle.

Her mouth fell open, steam rolled around us, mixing with our heavy breath. Her fingers clawed at my back and hair as I buried myself in her neck, frantically pumping into her over and over again. Our skin slapped together, and the bathroom echoed with desperate cries and grunts.

Her legs clamped around me, digging into the backs of my thighs with her heels. When I knew and felt that she had come, I couldn't hold back. My hand returned to her hair, clutching at the strands as my mouth found her neck. My body stiffened, and my mouth closed around her skin, biting as I released inside her.

I could feel her heart pounding against my chest matching mine. Beads of water streamed over her smiling face as I untangled us. My head dropped against the wall when she moved behind me to go under the spray of water. She tipped her head back wetting her hair. "Fuck, you're gonna kill me before next season." I panted.

Ami giggled. "We make a good team."

I sighed with a satisfied hum. "That we do."

We had only been sitting on the couch all but twenty minutes when Ami giggled beside me, looking over at me. "Do you have some kind of team ritual you do to get rid of this?" she asked, running her fingers over my jaw which was covered in a thick beard from the playoffs. I could grow one hell of a beard when I needed to.

"No ritual." I chuckled, pulling her closer so I could tickle her neck with it a few more times. "I just usually shave it off some."

"Can I watch?"

"You want to watch me shave?" I asked, amused and curious as to why she would want to do that.

"Yeah, why not?"

I shrugged and stood. "All right, come on." I motioned with a nod to the bathroom. Ami followed.

With her sitting on the counter in front of me, I reached my hands behind my head, grabbing the neck of my shirt, and pulled it over my head, tossing it to the floor.

Ami's eyes went to my chest and then to my stomach.

My lips twisted into a smirk, knowing she was probably not far from the thoughts that I was having since she was wearing my jersey and not a goddamn thing else.

She watched as I pulled out the clippers I used. I never did a complete shave. I always liked to have a little scruff. When my arm lifted, Ami caught the tattoo on my ribs that I knew she'd been eyeing for a while. Though she never asked, I knew she was curious as to why I had it and one on my shoulder. I had a few more on my forearms, but she'd gotten to know those ones pretty well over the months.

"What does it mean?" she asked, her fingers ghosting over the black markings, tracing over them with the lightest touch. It had no meaning. It was a symbol of some sort, but I couldn't tell you for the life of me what the hell it meant. I was drunk when I got it.

"Nothing that I know of," I teased, remembering that night I started out in Pittsburgh and woke up in Orlando.

"Why'd you get it?" Starry eyes found mine.

"I was drunk and fifteen and
really
stupid. Sometimes, I don't
always
think," I teased playfully, rolling my eyes. "I have my moments of weakness." My hands moved to her thighs, trailing up them ever so lightly. She shivered, her legs wrapping around mine. She bumped the clippers beside her when she did so, sending them into the sink.

"Hmm…you always seem so level headed to me."

"Nope..." My lips found hers. "Not always."

I did have another tattoo, well a few. Nothing really meaningful. One tattoo was of a pair of hockey gloves and stick on my shoulder, surrounded by the logo of the team my dad played for when my mom got pregnant with me. That was meaningful for me because he gave up everything for me.

I picked up the clippers, and Ami reached for them. I glanced at her in confusion. "What are you doing?"

"Mind if I try?"

"Are you serious?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow. "I don't know, you might slip and cut my hair. Leo did."

"Why the fuck would you have let Leo shave your beard?"

"We were drunk. Shit happens when you're drunk with a group of hockey players."

"Well..." Ami reached for the clippers again. "I'll be careful."

"I don't know. I saw your stick skills."

"What? Fine." She crossed her arms over her chest; a pouty look came over her.

"Here." I handed her the clippers.

She refused to take them. "No. I don't want to anymore."

"Ami." I lowered my voice and my head, trying to catch her eyes, placing my hands back on her thighs. I spread them wider, stepping closer. "Please? I trust you," I whispered. I held the clippers in my hand against her thigh, begging her to believe me.

What started out as playful and teasing was suddenly very intimate when those starry blues found mine. With my chin raised, her hands on my jaw angling it the direction needed, she brought the clippers to my face and made the first swipe. Intently focused on her, I watched carefully, feeling the love penetrating from every part of her.

My eyes drifted closed, reminded of how different this year had been from the last time I shaved this beard. Never did I think it would have gone this way.

By the time she made the last pass over my jaw, my heart was pounding from the memories over the year, including the ones I tried to forget.

When she finished, she traced her fingers along my jaw, removing the tiny hairs that remained. I hummed softly at the touch, leaning into her palm before pressing a lingering kiss there.

When her eyes found mine, they were dark with passion. I didn't have to wait long before she leaned forward, hungrily possessing my mouth.

I knew, without a doubt, this, Ami, being with her, would forever be the best goal I'd ever snagged.