Deliverance (The Maverick Defense #1) (10 page)

“Joy, say it,” Donnie’s voice was harsh. Impatient.

I chewed harder, biting down on the soft flesh inside my lip. Air rushed from my lungs as Donnie’s body slammed into me knocking me back against the desk, the edge of the wood cutting into the backs of my thighs. “Tell. Me. You’re. Mine.”

I refused to look at him. Anger and fear coursed through my veins, fueling my defiance. Or was it Dawson’s face imprinted on my mind? The look in his eyes.
He wasn’t supposed to see me like this.

“You would defy me? After everything I’ve done for you?” Rough fingers dug into my hips. “I was the one there for you after
he
left. Me. No one else, Joy. Me. I saved you. Gave you everything.”

You broke me. Ruined me,
I wanted to scream. I wanted to pound my fists against his crisp white shirt and hurt him, just as he constantly hurt me.
But you let him hurt you.

“Look at me, baby. Look. At. Me.” Donnie’s fingers drifted up to my chin and tilted my head up. “Be a good a girl and I’ll reward you.”

No!

Yes.

The deep craving stirred in my stomach growing like a rapid until my whole body hummed with need. Donnie fumbled between us and drew his free hand up, holding a clear baggy. The white powder stared back at me. Taunting. Calling.

“No.” My voice sounded detached. A plea on the lips of someone else.

Yes
, my body screamed.

“Tell me you don’t want it.” Donnie waved the clear bag back and forth in front of my eyes.

Dawson’s face flashed in my mind again. What would he think if he knew? Shame washed over me but did little to quell the urge to tear the bag from Donnie’s hand.

Donnie forced his knee between my legs, crushing me further against the desk. His thumb pressed hard against my bottom lip and dragged it down. “You. Are Mine.” He leaned in close, brushing my cheek with his lips. “Don’t forget who owns you, Joy.”

He threw the bag down onto the desk, pressed a hard kiss to my lips, and withdrew his body. I crumpled down onto the floor as I watched Donnie leave the room. He strolled out in his perfectly tailored suit as if it was just another day at the office. My eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to stop the tears from falling.

Minutes later, the door creaked open, and Sherri’s form appeared in the frame. “Joy, darlin’, are you okay?”

Head lowered, I shook it back and forth. Sherri rushed over to me and dropped to her knees, enveloping me in her thin arms. “There, there. Don’t cry. Don’t give him the satisfaction, darlin’.”

I swiped at the black river staining my cheeks. Sherri smiled weakly; it wasn’t the first time she’d witnessed this. She’d found me like this one too many times. But never had I felt like this. Dawson’s return had thrown me for a loop—spun my world on its axis and left me reeling.

He isn’t supposed to be here.

“He wasn’t supposed to come back, Sherri.” I sighed.

“I know. Lord knows, I know. But he’s here, and darlin’, he looked ready to kill when he saw you ready to get up on that stage.”

Shame stabbed through me again. At one time, Dawson Spencer was my everything—my world—and he’d just watched me teeter on the edge of giving Donnie DeLuca the last shreds of my soul. And for what? Because I was too scared, too desperate, to stand up to him.

Foolish girl, you don’t stand up to Donnie DeLuca. Nobody does.

“What the hell am I supposed to do now? What do I do?” It wasn’t a question for Sherri. There was no answer. I belonged to Donnie. He owned me. Dawson’s return changed nothing.

It changes everything.

Sherri pulled us both up and brushed off her skintight pants. Her eyes zeroed in on something behind me and her eyebrows knitted together. “You stop using that shit, for starters.”

“Sherri-”

“No, Joy. Listen up and listen good. I know you had it bad after he left. What with your grandma and losing the house, but this …” She snatched the baggy off the table and thrust it in my face. The reality of my life stared back at me. “This shit is not the answer.”

Silent tears fell freely now. I couldn’t stop them if I tried. Couldn’t she see that, in a strange way, getting high was my salvation? It blocked out the pain, the darkness. For a brief moment in time, it allowed me to be free.

“I- I need it.” I stared at my friend begging her to understand.

Her frown deepened. “For fuck’s sake, Joy, listen to yourself. This is not the answer. Get help. Go see Doc Anderson and get a script. Do something. Anything. This …” She waved the bag again. “This is skewing things, messing with your head. He’s back, Joy. Dawson is back. He can help.”

“No! No!” I rushed out. “He can never know. I can’t, he wouldn’t, no. Promise me you won’t tell him. Promise me.” I reached out for Sherri’s blouse. “You have to promise me.”

Sherri sighed heavily and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, drawing me to her. “Okay, okay, I promise. But, darlin’, you need help. This shit will destroy you.”

The rest of the night passed in a blur. After breaking down on Sherri, I forced the baggy into her hand and told her to get rid of it. Tonight, I would remain clean—from that shit, at least. But I needed something else to take off the edge and help me make it through the rest of the night. I chose vodka coolers. Lyla joined us and the three of us spent a couple of hours at the bar letting Shaun keep our glasses topped off while Shakers came to life around us. Girls rotated around the podiums dancing for men from every corner of Chancing. Donnie didn’t approach me again, but I felt his eyes on me. A couple of the other girls joined us and we moved things over to one of the corner booths, like our own private party. Men tried to muscle their way in with offers of drinks and promises of a good time, but Sherri kept them at bay. She knew the last thing I needed was Donnie beating on some guy who was thinking with his dick and not his brain.

“We’re heading out,” Lyla announced with a slight slur to her words. “A couple of the guys are driving us.”

“Who?” Sherri barked seeming far too sober for the number of drinks we’d consumed, but that was Sherri—she rarely let her guard down and always made sure the girls got back safely.

“Stu and Barkley. Stu has a thing for Paula, I think.” She giggled nudging the petite girl next to her.

“Ours or theirs?”

“Geez, Sherri, lighten up. They’re okay guys, better than some of the pigs Donnie sends our way. Let us have our fun, will you?”

“Okay, okay.” Sherri held her hands up. “You call me if there are any problems. Now, get out of here. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

Lyla grabbed Paula’s hand and pulled her in the direction of two guys I recognized as some of Donnie’s men. Stu, the taller one with dark hair, was around a lot. He seemed okay, but so did many of the guys, until shit went bad and then they morphed into hard-fisted men that you didn’t want to mess with.

“What about you, Joy, you heading out?”

I snapped my head around to meet Sherri’s questioning eyes. “Hmm, I-”

A deep voice said, “No, she’s sticking around. Right, baby?” Donnie’s hand snaked around my waist and tugged me back. My body hit a wall of muscle and dread pooled in my stomach.

“She’s pretty wasted, Don. I’ll get her home for you, that way you can stay and take care of things here?” Sherri’s eyes flickered to mine full of concern.

Donnie tensed behind me. “I’ll take care of her now. You can go. Thanks, Sherri.”

Silently, I pleaded with Sherri to walk away. She pursed her lips ready for an argument, but I shook my head discreetly.
Leave it.

“Okay, I’m out of here. Call me tomorrow, darlin’. Night, Don. You take good care of my girl.”

“
My
girl,” Donnie growled as we watched Sherri walk away. His warm breath brushed my neck causing my body to shudder. “Let’s get out of here.”

I didn’t have a chance to answer as Donnie’s hand pressed firmly against the small of my back and he guided me through the room to the private exit reserved for staff only. Troy was already waiting at the Escalade. He nodded curtly as he opened the door and we slipped inside.

We traveled the short distance to Donnie’s apartment in silence. The beat-down buildings of Chancing passed by in a hazy blur as I leaned my head against the glass while Donnie’s hand gripped my knee. He was still angry. I could sense it in his brooding mood, the way he dug his fingers into my skin a little too tightly. I was beginning to regret asking Sherri to get rid of the coke. At least, if I were high, my mind would be somewhere else.

Troy parked the Escalade in front of Donnie’s building, and Donnie leaned forward to whisper something in his ear. I inhaled deeply trying to clear the vodka fogging my brain. If I weren’t high, maybe I could try to appeal to Donnie’s less vicious side.

Unlikely.

Troy exited the car and came around to open the door for us. I climbed out and waited for Donnie. He wasted no time ushering me into the building. It was one of the nicer buildings in town. No boarded-up windows or broken doors. No hookers hanging around on the corner of the block. Donnie didn’t like to eat or shit where he did business.

The whole building was DeLuca property. The ground floor was occupied by a retail unit—Donnie’s attempt at a legitimate business. The second floor housed two apartments that Donnie rented out; one to his younger cousin, and the other, to an old lady who had known his mom. The top floor had been renovated into a huge open-plan apartment with one master bedroom and en suite. It was something else, nothing like the decaying town we lived in, but despite the stylish decor and modern facilities, I couldn’t stand being here.

I hated it.

The second the elevator pinged open to Donnie’s floor, my skin started to crawl. Donnie almost dragged me out into the hallway, ignoring my reluctance. The fury still rolled off him in waves. He slid out the magnetic key card and opened the door and pulled me inside. It slammed shut behind me and I jumped. Donnie shot me an irritated look before going to the kitchen and making himself a drink.

“Did you know?” His words were calm. Calculated.

“Know what?” I replied trying to play dumb.

“Don’t play dumb, Joy. Did you know he was back in town?”

“Yes.”

The glass shattered into tiny pieces next to me, and I flinched, squeezing my eyes shut trying to calm my racing heart.

“He’s not supposed to be here.” Donnie thrust his hand into his hair and dragged it back and forth. He looked crazed, eyes blazing with fire. “He wasn’t supposed to come back.”

I know.

Like a lion hunting its prey, Donnie stalked toward me. I pressed back into the door.

“Why is he back, Joy?”

“For the funeral. You know that,” I answered, my voice shaking.

“Are you sure that’s all?”

My mouth dropped open ready to respond, but the words wouldn’t come. Of course, it was all he was back for, wasn’t it? What else could there be? He’d looked just as shocked to see me as I was to see him.

Donnie stopped in front of me, glaring down at me as if I was his enemy. “Have you spoken to him?”

Yes.

If I told the truth, things would turn ugly, but if I lied, he’d see straight through it and that would end just as badly. I opted for silence.

It was the wrong move.

Donnie’s hand closed around my throat with such force that my body slammed against the door. My eyes went wide with panic as I clawed at his hand.

“Now, now, baby. I’ll ask again. Did you speak to him?”

My heart pounded in my chest so hard I felt lightheaded. Or was that my airway being constricted?

“Joy, don’t test me.” Donnie’s voice was eerily calm. Too calm. His eyes were still ablaze, but he seemed in control. Fully aware of his hand wrapped around my neck.

This wasn’t the first time Donnie had hurt me. A couple of times in the past things had gotten ugly. A split lip, a black eye, but never this. Never before had Donnie lashed out in such a calculated manner. It was always a spur-of-the-moment thing. He was always sick with worry afterward, showering me with affection and apologies.

His hand tightened again and he rammed my head back against the door. Pain splintered through my skull and my eyes rolled into the back of my head.

“Don’t make me hurt you, baby. I don’t want to hurt you.” Donnie sounded almost pained as his voice floated into my half-conscious state.

“Yes,” I croaked out. “I saw him. We- we spoke.”

Pain exploded across my cheek and into my eye socket and then everything went black.