Deliverance (The Maverick Defense #1) (6 page)

Down in the kitchen, I made a slice of toast and started the coffee, anything to keep from thinking about the day ahead. I’d tried not to think about it since I got the terse phone call from Mikey to say I needed to come home. As bad as it was, my first thought after I’d digested the news of Mom’s death was that I would have an excuse to find out how Joy was. Anytime I’d spoken to Mikey—which hadn’t been all that often—I’d been too uncomfortable to ask. Or maybe I didn’t want to hear how she’d left Chancing for college and was doing so much better without me. I had asked him to look out for her, so I figured he would have had some contact with her. Never in a million years did I think she’d still be here. Although I’d hoped I would see her, I didn’t expect to.

I looked around the tired kitchen and realized how much of a slob Mikey really was. He always had been when we were kids, but he hadn’t improved any. It wasn’t any wonder he was still single. As I waited for the coffee, I made a start on the kitchen. After being locked up with sixty other guys, being clean was a small luxury I could afford. Not to mention enduring months on end in makeshift tents in the desert where the sand dirtied up everything.

The coffee forgotten, I headed outside to collect all the empty beer bottles and toss them into the trash. Then I started on the living room. All the furniture had seen better days; it was well worn, but it had been there since at least before I was born. Lex found me in the living room sorting through the mail that had piled up.

“Dawson, dude. Give it a rest. You’re making me nervous.” He laughed at me, taking a pile of envelopes out of my hand and dropping them into the trash.

“Any coffee?” he called from the kitchen and started to open and close the cabinet doors as he searched for a mug.

“Help yourself,” I muttered and stood, looking out the windows at the row of houses lining the street. All of them had the same tired-looking, worn-out appearance. Some kept their lawns nicer than others did, and I bet they’re the people who had lived here since I was a kid. Others looked more like squats. What in the hell had happened in a space of a few years?

“Dawson,” Lex’s insistent voice called and I turned away from the window. He held out a cup of black coffee, which I accepted readily and then followed him through to the kitchen. He eyed me warily, and I’d known him long enough to know he had something to get off his chest.

“You’re cleaning.” He nodded at the spray bottle on the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, it was disgusting in here.” I shrugged.

“Nah, you’ve got something on your mind. You only tidy like this when you’re worried about something.”

“I’m always tidy.” I avoided his questioning eyes.

“Granted, but not like this. Something’s bothering you.” He’s right. Of course, he was. Lex knew me better than I knew myself sometimes. It was a knack. He would observe and work out what made you tick, able to read a person as easily as I would read a book.

“Spill. What’s bothering you the most? The funeral? ‘Cause you’ve not said much about it or seeing Joy again.”

Damn him for being so good. I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Fuck. I don’t know. Being back here … I honestly didn’t expect to be back in Chancing yet, and I certainly didn’t expect Joy to still be here.”

Lex leaned back against the counter and eyed me over the rim of his coffee mug. “So what’s the plan?” Lex liked to have a plan, always needed to have a plan. It came from the line of work we were in. He observed, planned, and then took action. Nothing was ever rushed or hasty with Lex; it was always measured and well thought out. We complemented each other in that sense.

“Funeral and then get the hell out of here. In and out. Nothing for me to stay here for.” I laid out the gist of my plan if you could even call it that.

“And Mikey? Joy?”

“You saw what she was like at the diner. She hardly welcomed me with open arms and Mikey, well …” Mikey’s words from the other day still stung.

“Mikey’s pissed at you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Didn’t I ever. Everything Mikey said was true and the guilt I felt after his tirade weighed heavily. I did abandon him, but I thought I was doing the right thing. It wouldn’t have been good for me to come straight back. I knew I had screwed up, and I didn’t want to screw his life or Joy’s up too. Never for one second did I think it might have been worse with me not being there.

“Get today over with and then we can plan our next move,” Lex muttered cryptically and shut up just as Mikey entered the kitchen.

“Hey, dickwads,” Mikey grunted as he slouched into the kitchen.

“Feeling rough?” Lex smirked at him before going in search of another mug.

“Fuck off.” He took the mug that Lex offered him and swallowed the hot coffee with a loud slurp. “Whose idea was it to drink so much beer?”

I smiled over my cup at him. “That would be yours.”

“Fuck you.” He grunted and slumped farther down in his chair. “Have you cleaned?” He inhaled deeply and turned his head to look around the kitchen, blue eyes narrowed in suspicion. Lex tried to hide his laughter as I glared at both of them.

I pushed up from the table, dumped my cup in the sink, and washed it, leaving it to dry on the drainer.

“I’m going to take a shower.” I turned to find them both watching me with a look of amusement on their face.

“Car’s coming at ten,” Mikey called before I could leave.

As I stood under the hot shower spray, some of the tension in my muscles drained away. Perhaps, I should’ve felt guilty that I’d only just arrived and already I couldn’t wait to leave. The whole town reminded me of what a fuck up I’ve made of things. But I had got out. Yeah, it wasn’t the best way, but I met Lex and he helped me. The guilt I felt at leaving behind the two most important people to me had never gone. Mikey and Joy. If I’d stayed, though, would this town have dragged me under too? Would I have become numb to all the shit that was going on?

It was already suffocating me, and I hadn’t even been back twenty-four hours.

Whenever I thought about funerals, I imagined cold weather, dark rainclouds, and people dressed in black with umbrellas to shield them from the elements. For Mom’s funeral, we had bright sunshine and blistering heat, complete with blue skies and not a cloud in sight. I was sweltering in my fucking suit. The weather didn’t match my foul mood. A bad fucking mood made worse when we arrived at the church and Mikey handed me a crumpled piece of paper and said I had to do the reading because he thought he might barf at any second.

Admittedly, he did look like shit. But really that wasn’t why I was in a pisser of a bad mood. It was because Joy hadn’t turned up. As I watched people arrive, all I could think was why the fuck not? She loved my mom, had known her for years, so why hadn’t she come to pay her last respects? Then I grew annoyed at myself because while I mourned Mom, I was still thinking about her. Since coming back to this shithole, she was all I could think about.

I tried my hardest to concentrate on what the minister was saying, but the tie Aunt Marie insisted I wear was choking me. This whole place was choking me. I wanted to be anywhere else but here. No way did I want to bury Mom on a glorious summer’s day. It was too soon; she left me too soon. I still had so much I needed to tell her, to apologize for, and to make up to her, but now, I’d never have the chance. Most of all, I wanted to get the fuck out of this town and stop feeling like such a screw-up. This place brought out the worse in people, in me.

Lex nudged me in the side, interrupting my pity party. “You’re up,” he whispered out the side of his mouth, and I realized it was time.

With the crumpled piece of paper clutched in my hand, I stood at the front of the church and looked out over the sea of faceless strangers. I wasn’t able to pick out anyone I knew, which was silly because there was bound to be at least one. But I couldn’t focus.

I took my time to unfold and smooth out the reading, but really, I was stalling. Trying to gather myself so I didn’t break down in front of everyone. My voice was loud and clear as I read, and I realized after a few lines that this was my mother’s favorite poem, one I was very familiar with. It made it easier, knowing this poem meant something to her and wasn’t picked at random. As I neared the end, my voice cracked, and I paused while I fought against the sudden rush of sadness. It started to sink in … this was real; she was really gone.

The graveside ceremony was a blur; Lex maneuvered me around as though I were a zombie. It seemed like he could tell something had happened up there at the altar as I read the last few lines. Maybe he had worked out Mom’s death was starting to sink in; I wasn’t sure, but he kept me going.

“Get through the next few hours,” he repeated, almost like a chant, as we left the graveside and drove to Aunt Marie’s where the wake was being held.

My aunt had organized everything, so I should have been grateful. I
was
grateful. I wouldn’t have had the patience or capacity to deal with all this. The food was laid out, tea and coffee ready, and the refrigerator was stocked with the odd beer for the guys. Mikey and I had spent the afternoon thanking people for coming; some of them I remembered and who remembered me, others didn’t ring any bells.

I had given up searching for Joy. I knew she wasn’t here and there was no way she’d turn up now. But then someone stopped in front of us, his face drawn in sympathy. Someone who I hadn’t given much thought to since I returned, which was stupid of me because he’d played a large part in my history with Mikey, Joy, and this town.

Donnie DeLuca.

He looked older and harder and just as rough around the edges—maybe more so. Gone was the slightly chubby kid who always followed Mikey and me around. It wasn’t until Mikey became interested in girls and sex that Donnie and I became best buds. As he extended his hand, Mikey tensed—barely, but I noticed the tension creep into his shoulders and the way his jaw clenched. Lex did too but that was hardly surprising; he noticed everything and always paid more attention to body language than what a person said. Then Donnie turned his attention to me with a sad smile and all the hairs on the back of my neck rose.

“Dawson.” He grabbed my hand and clasped it in both of his. “It’s been too long.” He greeted me formally; as if we were strangers and not buddies from way back. But that was a long time ago, and as I kept finding out, a hell of a lot had changed since I’d been gone. I eyed him critically, taking in his heavy build. He wasn’t fat, but it wasn’t lean muscle like Mikey either. It was just bulk. Dark hair, gelled but in a slicked back way, not artfully styled the way most guys wore it. An expensive suit with shiny black shoes, and when he flicked his wrist to check the time, I saw a flash of an expensive watch. Not the practical wristwatches we wore for missions. No, this was bling—solid gold encrusted with diamonds and very flashy.

“This is Lex.” I indicated to my left. Lex extended his hand, a warm smile on his face, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Lex was a master at this. Only I could tell he was undecided about Donnie, and I wondered what had his alarm bells ringing.

Donnie nodded in Mikey’s direction and Mikey returned it with a curt nod of his own. What the fuck with all the non-verbal communication?

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Donnie bowed his head in a respectful manner.

“Thanks for coming.” I struggled to get the words out.

“Your mom was one of a kind,” he carried on, and I nodded my agreement; that she was. She didn’t stand for anyone’s crap.

“I’m sorry I can’t stay longer, but I wanted to invite you to Shakers tonight.”

Lex’s ears pricked up with interest. “Shakers?”

“Yeah, it’s the club I run. You’d be well looked after,” he added, looking smug.

“Hell, yeah.” Lex clapped me on the shoulder, looking genuinely happy for the first time since we’d arrived Tuesday. I didn’t know why he was getting his hopes up. Shakers was seedy at best, if my memory served me correctly, and I doubted it had improved over time. Although judging by Donnie’s expensive watch and designer suit, it might have cleaned up its act.

“I’ll see you tonight.” He smiled and walked away.