Delphi Complete Works of Oscar Wilde (Illustrated) (279 page)

At length we decided on a restaurant in Great Portland Street. We drove there and had a private room.

I had two purposes in me, springing from the one root, the intense desire to help him. I felt sure that if the case came up again for trial he would only be convicted through what I may call good, honest testimony. The jury with their English prejudice; or rather I should say with their healthy English instincts would not take the evidence of vile blackmailers against him; he could only be convicted through untainted evidence such as the evidence of the chambermaids at the Savoy Hotel, and their evidence was over two years old and was weak, inasmuch as the facts, if facts, were not acted upon by the management. Still their testimony was very clear and very positive, and, taken together with that of the blackmailers, sufficient to ensure conviction. After our lunch I laid this view before Oscar. He agreed with me that it was probably the chambermaids’ testimony which had weighed most heavily against him. Their statement and Shelley’s had brought about the injurious tone in the Judge’s summing up. The Judge himself had admitted as much.

“The chambermaids’ evidence is wrong,” Oscar declared. “They are mistaken, Frank. It was not me they spoke about at the Savoy Hotel. It was —— . I was never bold enough. I went to see —— in the morning in his room.”

“Thank God,” I said, “but why didn’t Sir Edward Clarke bring that out?”

“He wanted to; but I would not let him. I told him he must not. I must be true to my friend. I could not let him.”

“But he must,” I said, “at any rate if he does not I will. I have three weeks and in that three weeks I am going to find the chambermaid. I am going to get a plan of your room and your friend’s room, and I’m going to make her understand that she was mistaken. She probably remembered you because of your size: she mistook you for the guilty person; everybody has always taken you for the ringleader and not the follower.”

“But what good is it, Frank, what good is it?” he cried. “Even if you convinced the chambermaid and she retracted; there would still be Shelley, and the Judge laid stress on Shelley’s evidence as untainted.”

“Shelley is an accomplice,” I cried, “his testimony needs corroboration. You don’t understand these legal quibbles; but there was not a particle of corroboration. Sir Edward Clarke should have had his testimony ruled out. ’Twas that conspiracy charge,” I cried, “which complicated the matter. Shelley’s evidence, too, will be ruled out at the next trial, you’ll see.”

“Oh, Frank,” he said, “you talk with passion and conviction, as if I were innocent.”

“But you are innocent,” I cried in amaze, “aren’t you?”

“No, Frank,” he said, “I thought you knew that all along.”

I stared at him stupidly. “No,” I said dully, “I did not know. I did not believe the accusation. I did not believe it for a moment.”

I suppose the difference in my tone and manner struck him, for he said, timidly putting out his hand:

“This will make a great difference to you, Frank?”

“No,” I said, pulling myself together and taking his hand; and after a pause I went on: “No: curiously enough it has made no difference to me at all. I do not know why; I suppose I have got more sympathy than morality in me. It has surprised me, dumbfounded me. The thing has always seemed fantastic and incredible to me and now you make it exist for me; but it has no effect on my friendship; none upon my resolve to help you. But I see that the battle is going to be infinitely harder than I imagined. In fact, now I don’t think we have a chance of winning a verdict. I came here hoping against fear that it could be won, though I always felt that it would be better in the present state of English feeling to go abroad and avoid the risk of a trial. Now there is no question: you would be insane, as Clarke said, to stay in England. But why on earth did Alfred Douglas, knowing the truth, ever wish you to attack Queensberry?”

“He’s very bold and obstinate, Frank,” said Oscar weakly.

“Well, now I must play Crito,” I resumed, smiling, “and take you away before the ship comes from Delos.”

“Oh, Frank, that would be wonderful; but it’s impossible, quite impossible. I should be arrested before I left London, and shamed again in public: they would boo at me and shout insults.... Oh, it is impossible; I could not risk it.”

“Nonsense,” I replied, “I believe the authorities would be only too glad if you went. I think Clarke’s challenge to Gill was curiously ill-advised. He should have let sleeping dogs lie. Combative Gill was certain to take up the gauntlet. If Clarke had lain low there might have been no second trial. But that can’t be helped now. Don’t believe that it’s even difficult to get away; it’s easy. I don’t propose to go by Folkestone or Dover.”

“But, Frank, what about the people who have stood bail for me? I couldn’t leave them to suffer; they would lose their thousands.”

“I shan’t let them lose,” I replied, “I am quite willing to take half on my own shoulders at once and you can pay the other thousand or so within a very short time by writing a couple of plays. American papers would be only too glad to pay you for an interview. The story of your escape would be worth a thousand pounds; they would give you almost any price for it.

“Leave everything to me, but in the meantime I want you to get out in the air as much as possible. You are not looking well; you are not yourself.”

“That house is depressing, Frank. Willie makes such a merit of giving me shelter; he means well, I suppose; but it is all dreadful.”

My notes of this talk finish in this way, but the conversation left on me a deep impression of Oscar’s extraordinary weakness or rather extraordinary softness of nature backed up and redeemed by a certain magnanimity: he would not leave the friends in the lurch who had gone bail for him; he would not give his friend away even to save himself; but neither would he exert himself greatly to win free. He was like a woman, I said to myself in wonder, and my pity for him grew keener. He seemed mentally stunned by the sudden fall, by the discovery of how violently men can hate. He had never seen the wolf in man before; the vile brute instinct that preys upon the fallen. He had not believed that such exultant savagery existed; it had never come within his ken; now it appalled him. And so he stood there waiting for what might happen without courage to do anything but suffer. My heart ached with pity for him, and yet I felt a little impatient with him as well. Why give up like that? The eternal quarrel of the combative nature with those who can’t or won’t fight.

Before getting into the carriage to drive back to his brother’s, I ascertained that he did not need any money. He told me that he had sufficient even for the expenses of a second trial: this surprised me greatly, for he was very careless about money; but I found out from him later that a very noble and cultured woman, a friend of both of us, Miss S —— , a Jewess by race tho’ not by religion, had written to him asking if she could help him financially, as she had been distressed by hearing of his bankruptcy, and feared that he might be in need. If that were the case she begged him to let her be his banker, in order that he might be properly defended. He wrote in reply, saying that he was indeed in uttermost distress, that he wanted money, too, to help his mother as he had always helped her, and that he supposed the expenses of the second trial would be from £500 to £1,000. Thereupon Miss S —— sent him a cheque for £1,000, assuring him that it cost her little even in self-sacrifice, and declaring that it was only inadequate recognition of the pleasure she had had through his delightful talks. Such actions are beyond praise; it is the perfume of such sweet and noble human sympathy that makes this wild beasts’ cage of a world habitable for men.

Before parting we had agreed to meet a few nights afterwards at Mrs. Leverson’s, where he had been invited to dinner, and where I also had been invited. By that time, I thought to myself, all my preparations would be perfected.

Looking back now I see clearly that my affection for Oscar Wilde dates from his confession to me that afternoon. I had been a friend of his for years; but what had bound us together had been purely intellectual, a community of literary tastes and ambitions. Now his trust in me and frankness had thrown down the barrier between us; and made me conscious of the extraordinary femininity and gentle weakness of his nature, and, instead of condemning him as I have always condemned that form of sexual indulgence, I felt only pity for him and a desire to protect and help him. From that day on our friendship became intimate: I began to divine him; I knew now that his words would always be more generous and noble than his actions; knew too that I must take his charm of manner and vivacity of intercourse for real virtues, and indeed they were as real as the beauty of flowers; and I was aware as by some sixth sense that, where his vanity was concerned, I might expect any injustice from him. I was sure beforehand, however, that I should always forgive him, or rather that I should always accept whatever he did and love him for the charm and sweetness and intellect in him and hold myself more than recompensed for anything I might be able to do, by his delightful companionship.

CHAPTER XV
I

In spite of the wit of the hostess and her exquisite cordiality, our dinner at Mrs. Leverson’s was hardly a success. Oscar was not himself; contrary to his custom he sat silent and downcast. From time to time he sighed heavily, and his leaden dejection gradually infected all of us. I was not sorry, for I wanted to get him away early; by ten o’clock we had left the house and were in the Cromwell Road. He preferred to walk: without his noticing it I turned up Queen’s Gate towards the park. After walking for ten minutes I said to him:

“I want to speak to you seriously. Do you happen to know where Erith is?”

“No, Frank.”

“It is a little landing place on the Thames,” I went on, “not many miles away: it can be reached by a fast pair of horses and a brougham in a very short time. There at Erith is a steam yacht ready to start at a moment’s notice; she has steam up now, one hundred pounds pressure to the square inch in her boilers; her captain’s waiting, her crew ready — a greyhound in leash; she can do fifteen knots an hour without being pressed. In one hour she would be free of the Thames and on the high seas — (delightful phrase, eh?) — high seas indeed where there is freedom uncontrolled.

“If one started now one could breakfast in France, at Boulogne, let us say, or Dieppe; one could lunch at St. Malo or St. Enogat or any place you like on the coast of Normandy, and one could dine comfortably at the Sables d’Olonne, where there is not an Englishman to be found, and where sunshine reigns even in May from morning till night.

“What do you say, Oscar, will you come and try a homely French bourgeois dinner to-morrow evening at an inn I know almost at the water’s edge? We could sit out on the little terrace and take our coffee in peace under the broad vine leaves while watching the silver pathway of the moon widen on the waters. We could smile at the miseries of London and its wolfish courts shivering in cold grey mist hundreds of miles away. Does not the prospect tempt you?”

I spoke at leisure, tasting each delight, looking for his gladness.

“Oh, Frank,” he cried, “how wonderful; but how impossible!”

“Impossible! don’t be absurd,” I retorted. “Do you see those lights yonder?” and I showed him some lights at the Park gate on the top of the hill in front of us.

“Yes, Frank.”

“That’s a brougham,” I said, “with a pair of fast horses. It will take us for a midnight visit to the steam yacht in double-quick time. There’s a little library on board of French books and English; I’ve ordered supper in the cabin — lobster à l’Americaine and a bottle of Pommery. You’ve never seen the mouth of the Thames at night, have you? It’s a scene from wonderland; houses like blobs of indigo fencing you in; ships drifting past like black ghosts in the misty air, and the purple sky above never so dark as the river, the river with its shifting lights of ruby and emerald and topaz, like an oily, opaque serpent gliding with a weird life of its own.... Come; you must visit the yacht.”

I turned to him, but he was no longer by my side. I gasped; what had happened? The mist must have hidden him; I ran back ten yards, and there he was leaning against the railing, hung up with his head on his arm shaking.

“What’s the matter, Oscar?” I cried. “What on earth’s the matter?”

“Oh, Frank, I can’t go,” he cried, “I can’t. It would be too wonderful; but it’s impossible. I should be seized by the police. You don’t know the police.”

“Nonsense,” I cried, “the police can’t stop you and not a man of them will see you from start to finish. Besides, I have loose money for any I do meet, and none of them can resist a ‘tip.’ You will simply get out of the brougham and walk fifty yards and you will be on the yacht and free. In fact, if you like you shall not come out of the brougham until the sailors surround you as a guard of honour. On board the yacht no one will touch you. No warrant runs there. Come on, man!”

“Oh, Frank,” he groaned, “it’s impossible!”

“What’s impossible?” I insisted. “Let’s consider everything anew at breakfast to-morrow morning in France. If you want to come back, there’s nothing to prevent you. The yacht will take you back in twenty-four hours. You will not have broken your bail; you’ll have done nothing wrong. You can go to France, Germany or Siberia so long as you come back by the twentieth of May. Take it that I offer you a holiday in France for ten days. Surely it is better to spend a week with me than in that dismal house in Oakley Street, where the very door gives one the creeps.”

“Oh, Frank, I’d love to,” he groaned. “I see everything you say, but I can’t. I dare not. I’m caught, Frank, in a trap, I can only wait for the end.”

I began to get impatient; he was weaker than I had imagined, weaker a hundred times.

“Come for a trip, then, man,” I cried, and I brought him within twenty yards of the carriage; but there he stopped as if he had made up his mind.

“No, no, I can’t come. I could not go about in France feeling that the policeman’s hand might fall on my shoulder at any moment. I could not live a life of fear and doubt: it would kill me in a month.” His tone was decided.

“Why let your imagination run away with you?” I pleaded. “Do be reasonable for once. Fear and doubt would soon be over. If the police don’t get you in France within a week after the date fixed for the trial, you need have no further fear, for they won’t get you at all: they don’t want you. You’re making mountains out of molehills with nervous fancies.”

“I should be arrested.”

“Nonsense,” I replied, “who would arrest you? No one has the right. You are out on bail: your bail answers for you till the 20th. Money talks, man; Englishmen always listen to money. It’ll do you good with the public and the jury to come back from France to stand your trial. Do come,” and I took him by the arm; but he would not move. To my astonishment he faced me and said:

“And my sureties?”

“We’ll pay ‘em,” I replied, “both of ‘em, if you break your bail. Come,” but he would not.

“Frank, if I were not in Oakley Street to-night Willie would tell the police.”

“Your brother?” I cried.

“Yes,” he said, “Willie.”

“Good God!” I exclaimed; “but let him tell. I have not mentioned Erith or the steam yacht to a soul. It’s the last place in the world the police would suspect and before he talks we shall be out of reach. Besides they cannot do anything; you are doing nothing wrong. Please trust me, you do nothing questionable even till you omit to enter the Old Bailey on the 20th of May.”

“You don’t know Willie,” he continued, “he has made my solicitors buy letters of mine; he has blackmailed me.”

“Whew!” I whistled. “But in that case you’ll have no compunction in leaving him without saying ‘goodbye.’ Let’s go and get into the brougham.”

“No, no,” he repeated, “you don’t understand; I can’t go, I cannot go.”

“Do you mean it really?” I asked. “Do you mean you will not come and spend a week yachting with me?”

“I cannot.”

I drew him a few paces nearer the carriage: something of desolation and despair in his voice touched me: I looked at him. Tears were pouring down his face; he was the picture of misery, yet I could not move him.

“Come into the carriage,” I said, hoping that the swift wind in his face would freshen him up, give him a moment’s taste of the joy of living and sharpen the desire of freedom.

“Yes, Frank,” he said, “if you will take me to Oakley Street.”

“I would as soon take you to prison,” I replied; “but as you wish.”

The next moment we had got in and were swinging down Queen’s Gate. The mist seemed to lend keenness to the air. At the bottom of Queen’s Gate the coachman swept of himself to the left into the Cromwell Road; Oscar seemed to wake out of his stupor.

“No, Frank,” he cried, “no, no,” and he fumbled at the handle of the door, “I must get out; I will not go. I will not go.”

“Sit still,” I said in despair, “I’ll tell the coachman,” and I put my head out of the window and cried:

“Oakley Street, Oakley Street, Chelsea, Robert.”

I do not think I spoke again till we got to Oakley Street. I was consumed with rage and contemptuous impatience. I had done the best I knew and had failed. Why? I had no idea. I have never known why he refused to come. I don’t think he knew himself. Such resignation I had never dreamt of. It was utterly new to me. I used to think of resignation in a vague way as of something rather beautiful; ever since, I have thought of it with impatience: resignation is the courage of the irresolute. Oscar’s obstinacy was the obverse of his weakness. It is astonishing how inertia rules some natures. The attraction of waiting and doing nothing is intense for those who live in thought and detest action. As we turned into Oakley Street, Oscar said to me:

“You are not angry with me, Frank?” and he put out his hand.

“No, no,” I said, “why should I be angry? You are the master of your fate. I can only offer advice.”

“Do come and see me soon,” he pleaded.

“My bolt is shot,” I replied; “but I’ll come in two or three days’ time, as soon as I have anything of importance to say.... Don’t forget, Oscar, the yacht is there and will be there waiting until the 20th; the yacht will always be ready and the brougham.”

“Good night, Frank,” he said, “good night, and thank you.”

He got out and went into the house, the gloomy sordid house where the brother lived who would sell his blood for a price!

Three or four days later we met again, but to my amaze Oscar had not changed his mind. To talk of him as cast down is the precise truth; he seemed to me as one who had fallen from a great height and lay half conscious, stunned on the ground. The moment you moved him, even to raise his head, it gave him pain and he cried out to be left alone. There he lay prone, and no one could help him. It was painful to witness his dumb misery: his mind even, his sunny bright intelligence, seemed to have deserted him.

Once again he came out with me to lunch. Afterwards we drove through Regent’s Park as the quietest way to Hampstead and had a talk. The air and swift motion did him good. The beauty of the view from the heath seemed to revive him. I tried to cheer him up.

“You must know,” I said, “that you can win if you want to. You can not only bring the jury to doubt, but you can make the judge doubt as well. I was convinced of your innocence in spite of all the witnesses, and I knew more about you than they did. In the trial before Mr. Justice Charles, the thing that saved you was that you spoke of the love of David and Jonathan and the sweet affection which the common world is determined not to understand. There is another point against you which you have not touched on yet: Gill asked you what you had in common with those serving-men and stable boys. You have not explained that. You have explained that you love youth, the brightness and the gaiety of it, but you have not explained what seems inexplicable to most men, that you should go about with servants and strappers.”

“Difficult to explain, Frank, isn’t it, without the truth?” Evidently his mind was not working.

“No,” I replied, “easy, simple. Think of Shakespeare. How did he know Dogberry and Pistol, Bardolph and Doll Tearsheet? He must have gone about with them. You don’t go about with public school boys of your own class, for you know them; you have nothing to learn from them: they can teach you nothing. But the stable boy and servant you cannot sketch in your plays without knowing him, and you can’t know him without getting on his level, and letting him call you ‘Oscar’ and calling him ‘Charlie.’ If you rub this in, the judge will see that he is face to face with the artist in you and will admit at least that your explanation is plausible. He will hesitate to condemn you, and once he hesitates you’ll win.

“You fought badly because you did not show your own nature sufficiently; you did not use your brains in the witness box and alas— “ I did not continue; the truth was I was filled with fear; for I suddenly realised that he had shown more courage and self-possession in the Queensberry trial than in the trial before Mr. Justice Charles when so much more was at stake; and I felt that in the next trial he would be more depressed still, and less inclined to take the initiative than ever. I had already learned too that I could not help him; that he would not be lifted out of that “sweet way of despair,” which so attracts the artist spirit. But still I would do my best.

“Do you understand?” I asked.

“Of course, Frank, of course, but you have no conception how weary I am of the whole thing, of the shame and the struggling and the hatred. To see those people coming into the box one after the other to witness against me makes me sick. The self-satisfied grin of the barristers, the pompous foolish judge with his thin lips and cunning eyes and hard jaw. Oh, it’s terrible. I feel inclined to stretch out my hands and cry to them, ‘Do what you will with me, in God’s name, only do it quickly; cannot you see that I am worn out? If hatred gives you pleasure, indulge it.’ They worry one, Frank, with ravening jaws, as dogs worry a rabbit. Yet they call themselves men. It is appalling.”

The day was dying, the western sky all draped with crimson, saffron and rosy curtains: a slight mist over London, purple on the horizon, closer, a mere wash of blue; here and there steeples pierced the thin veil like fingers pointing upward. On the left the dome of St. Paul’s hung like a grey bubble over the city; on the right the twin towers of Westminster with the river and bridge which Wordsworth sang. Peace and beauty brooding everywhere, and down there lost in the mist the “rat pit” that men call the Courts of Justice. There they judge their fellows, mistaking indifference for impartiality, as if anyone could judge his fellowman without love, and even with love how far short we all come of that perfect sympathy which is above forgiveness and takes delight in succouring the weak, comforting the broken-hearted.