Denying Heaven (Room 103) (5 page)

“Damn right, baby. Now,
you
kiss
me
.”

She groaned as I released her hips and she returned to
driving herself on me. My cock was so hard for her I wouldn’t be surprised if
the big guy opened the zip to my jeans himself and impaled this little sinner
riding him hard.

“Bulk” she breathed with an echo in her chest, her need
and yearning forcing her harder on me as she hovered her lips over mine. Her
pussy was dripping, its moistness soaking my jeans and I growled as she took my
mouth under hers and her fingers slid the zip on my trousers, releasing my
pulsing cock to her disposal.

Her soft lips moved so exquisitely I couldn’t hold back
the need for more as I drove my hands into her hair and locked her down so I
could power into her beautiful kiss. The soft muscle of her tongue flicked
against mine and drove me wild. She could kiss, both desire and deliverance
raged into me as she worshipped my mouth.

Her warm wet flesh slid over my cock and she manoeuvred
until the crown was sliding over her hard clit. “Fuck, Spirit, come on.”

“God, Bulk. I need you inside me.”

Her eyes were on mine, begging, pleading with me. The
yearn and need exposed had my cock demanding more as my gut pulsed with a fire
that I had never felt before… ever.

What the hell?

“No!” I shook my head as I pushed her off my lap.

She stared at me with wide eyes as a blush erupted all
over her pretty face. “I can’t… you…”

I pulled myself off the floor and shoved my dick back in
my shorts, cursing myself as I struggled to pull the zip over my hard erection.

Jesus Christ!

I left her on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest
to hide her embarrassment as I slammed the door behind me.

“I am so sorry, baby, God, so sorry…” I whispered to the
ghost that never replied. “I never… I don’t feel that way, I don’t baby, I
just… she just…”

Jesus Holy Christ!!!

I watched as his body moved on the stage, his whole aura
in the zone; the zone that overtook with the first touch of the strings; the control
that the guitar took, like another entity coexisting with part of your soul,
the part that almost feels sexual, arousing, with the first pluck of the
strings.

His eyes were closed as he relished in the freedom of
playing, the release of emotion, feeling and knowing Bulk, the heartache of his
life.

My God, he was stunning; utterly breath-taking and I
groaned inwardly as his kiss ravaged my senses, the memory of his hard tongue
driving deep into my mouth, like he had wanted to both devour me whole and
soothe my ache.

‘I’m going down underneath the memories,

They drown the hate and…’

I wondered if Bulk had written these lyrics as his lips
moved over his mic, his soft tones backing Jax’s rough vocals through the roar
of the crowd.

‘
What’s it to be? I hear your pleas,

They light my laughter, the laughter you took when you
quit…’

I envied the rush Bulk would be feeling. Mine had ditched
now River’s Ink had finished their set and moved off to hand over the reins to
Room 103.

I closed my eyes as Bulk consumed my every thought, my
body craving his soft touch and my mind, his dominant control.

I needed a fix to bring my blood back up to the high, to
erase the pain my brain was tormenting me with; its constant mocking laughter
persistently driving me insane.

I scanned the backstage area looking for Kenny. The last
thing I needed was his bloody guard on me.

The whole place was packed with Room 103 groupies and
maybe a few of River’s Ink fans. A smile caught my eye and as I looked up, I smiled
back at the bands tech guy that had his eyes glued on me.

“Spirit,” he greeted as he approached me.

“Hey, Hank.”

He sighed and stroked a finger down my arm, his eyes
never leaving mine as his touch sent a slight repulsed shudder through me. He
tipped his head questioningly and I gave him an almost invisible nod.

“Ten?”

I nodded again before he turned and ventured towards the
toilet area.

‘You look like you know what trouble means,

Swinging those hips, rockin’ it hard and obscene…’

I scoffed at the lyrics to Room 103’s new song as I swung
my hips to the beat on my way to the loo.

‘Hittin’ the sky, your forever need to feel the high,

Your constant greed to self-indulge…’

My stride locked mid-step and I turned with a frown and a
pang in my chest.

Bulk was staring at me through the gap leading backstage,
his eyes stern and severe as he mouthed Jax’s words to me.

What the fuck!

My teeth ravaged my bottom lip as my anger surged with
the sanctimonious expression on Bulk’s face and his silent words.

‘You feel it, drown in it, bleed with it,

It takes you higher, brings you deeper,

Then kicks your ass and deals you shit

Whoa, whoa, whoa…

You’re on fire, on fire, on fire

You need the high cos’ you’re down on your shit, baby…’

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tipped my head at
him, narrowing my eyes as a rage coursed through me.

Just who the hell did he think he was? Judging me? He
knew shit all about me, my life, my pain… my need to sink, or float, whichever
way you looked at it.

I gave him a sugar sweet smile and blew him a sarcastic
kiss as I turned and took myself across the open space and into the disabled
toilet where I knew Hank would be waiting with the little white bag of
pleasure; the ounce of oblivion that was always my companion, a friend that
felt my pain and took it from me like no other could. My ally in a world of
enemies.

***

“God damn! You stupid little bitch!”

I opened my eyes and blinked as Kenny’s face came into
focus, “Hey, Ken.”

I grinned at him, his pale thin face swimming before me
as his lips seemed to ripple and take on a mind of their own as they ever so
slowly moved and morphed.

He shook his head and glared at me, making me laugh
harder as his eyes danced with a blaze and a comical twitch. “You look funny” I
chuckled as I pulled myself up from the floor.

The room tipped and I wondered if we were having an
earthquake. I grabbed onto the wall for support as I turned back to Kenny,
“Quick, hold on, the earth’s moving. God’s having an orgasm…” I laughed hard
and loud as my palms slid down the wall and I face planted the floor. Cool.

I grumbled when my head was whipped back with a stern
grab of my hair and my body seemed to fly backwards until my face hit the wall
with a sickening thud.

“You will fucking learn” Kenny raged as he grabbed the
top of my arms and flung me round to face him.

He looked funny; his face was bright red and his narrow
eyes pirouetted around his head until they seemed to sway across his wacky face.

My breath caught and I choked on some bile as Kenny’s
fist connected with my cheekbone.

“Ow” I murmured as his hand wrapped around my neck and
squeezed. “Are you trying to kill me?” I laughed as his hand tightened further,
restricting my airway and making my lungs squeal in protest.

I could feel his hard erection digging in my thigh as he
squashed me between his body and the wall. “Oooh Diddy Dick wants to play?”

“Shut – the – fuck – up!” he snarled as his lips curled
and his mouth rested on my neck as his teeth sank into the flesh on my shoulder
through the thin material of my
Emphatic
T-shirt.

“Kenny, what are you doing?” I mumbled as I squirmed
beneath him. He was starting to worry me as his hands fisted the cotton of my
shirt and pinched at my skin. I gasped and pushed further into the wall as his
hand came to rest on the inside of my thigh. “Kenny!”

I squeezed my thighs together but they quickly dropped
open when Kenny gave me a swift stern knee to my groin. “No, I might be high
but you’re going nowhere near my bits.”

“Like you’re in a position to refuse, like you would
anyway. You’re a little whore Spirit, you know you want it.”

I shook my head and glared at him, “I’m not a whore.”

I pushed at him as he scoffed but his body was solid and
unyielding and I dug my elbows between us. His hands grabbed at them and
slammed them against the wall, the action pushing my chest into his, triggering
a groan and a flutter of Kenny’s eyelids.

Fuck this!

I raised my knee to butt him in the balls but lost my
balance and tipped sideways. My hands grabbed Kenny’s shirt reflexively and I
pulled us both to the floor.

Scrambling around below him, I tried to manoeuvre out
from under him but his fingers grabbed my hair and slammed my head back hard on
the floor.

Cool, I actually saw stars and wondered if I was actually
floating.

Cool coconuts.

“You asked for this, Spirit” he growled in my ear as his
hand harshly clasped my tit and dug in painfully.

Now, I was all for pain during sex but this was a nasty
pain, not meant to pleasure me and it pissed me off quite a bit.

“I didn’t ask, I’m sure I didn’t” I frowned at him as his
lip curled with disgust.

“You are so fucking high; you don’t even know what you
want.”

What? Didn’t I?

Oh!

I shrugged at him as he fumbled around with the hem of my
mini denim skirt, pushing it high over my hips.

I didn’t like it, Kenny wasn’t who I wanted but he had
said I had asked for it, so I must have, right?

“But…” I mumbled as his fingers brushed over the edge of
my knickers and started pulling them down. “I really don’t think I asked Ken, I
don’t even like you so I don’t think I would want to fuck you.”

Damn, I wish I hadn’t taken the entire bag now, I
couldn’t think straight. I was sure I hadn’t asked, positive. But Kenny said…

“Ow!” I groaned again when his knuckles bit hard on my
cheek again. “Kenny, I know I like a bit of pain, but that really hurt… I
think.”

“Will you shut the fuck up and open your fucking legs!”
he snarled and my lip quivered.

He was hurting me; my head was swimming as the coke
floated around my blood stream, causing a little laugh alongside the tears that
began to roll down my face. “Really Kenny, I don’t…”

“OPEN YOUR WHORE LEGS, BITCH!!

How fucking rude!

“No!” I barked back, now angry as I started to sob
harder. The coke high was dropping and my gut was twirling with revulsion.
“You’re making me feel sick Kenny.”

He ignored me.

Bad idea.

I warned him!

Vomit projected across his face as my stomach pumped in
protest against Kenny’s touch.

He gasped a shocked gurgle as my sick hit him and a large
hand grabbed his shirt and flung him across the room.

I rolled over onto my hands and knees as my gut rebelled
at Kenny’s sickening mauling.

“Hey,” I mumbled to Bulk as I watched Kenny sail through
the air. “Kenny just did that to me, it must be a popular move” I laughed as I
continued to spew over the plush hotel carpet.

I closed my eyes and blew out a steadying breath as I
heard some dull thumps, curses and groans but none of it really registered as I
sank back to the floor and curled into a ball.

My cheek hurt. Why did my face hurt? I couldn’t remember…
very strange.

My heart ached as I lay her gently on her bed. My fingers
automatically stroked along the bruising to her cheekbone, causing me to wince
at the slight tightness her face displayed with even a soft touch.

Motherfucker!

I wanted to kill the bastard.

Watching him maul her, his filthy fucking hands clawing
at her had brought a feeling, an emotion so raw coursing through me I hadn’t
even realised I was killing him until Romeo had pulled me off.

He hurt her, he hurt my little sinner and God forbid, I’d
make the fucker pay, hard.

Spirit mumbled something sounding like ‘Danny’ and I
titled my ear towards her soft lips but she was silent again.

This woman would be the death of me, I knew it; I could
feel it in my bones. She already empowered something in me, something I didn’t
like and had no control over. An emotion of pure… God knows what, but I felt
it, felt it surging through my bloodstream like an electric current, lightening
both desire and a need to protect. Making my heart beat again.

Shit!

I watched her as she groaned and flipped, sweat pouring
off her as her tiny body seemed to convulse and fit. I knew she wasn’t actually
fitting, just twitching as her muscles rebelled against the drop of the coke.

God damn her addiction to it. She needed off but I wasn’t
sure I was the one to drag her through it. Spirit was damaged, it was written
like a curse all over her. It seeped from her pores like steam off the puddles
on a hot rainy day, virtually visible as it flowed from her.

“Danny” she moaned again and my brow pinched.

Who the fuck was Danny? Did she have a boyfriend? A
lover?

Fuck!

“Bulk…”

Okay, that felt better and a small smug smile lifted my
lips as I went to grab a cool cloth from her bathroom.

My teeth sank into my lower lip when I spotted white
powder and a credit card on the vanity, the rolled up twenty blowing slightly
in the breeze from the window. My anger surged and I stormed back into the
bedroom, grabbing her forearms tightly as I shook her and called her name in a
desperation to wake her so I could give her hell for trying to ruin what spirit
she had left. I couldn’t seem to control myself, my absolute fury at her
weakness driving me into a frenzied need to punish her.

“Bulk!” Janey shouted from behind me as she ran over and
pulled me off Spirit, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Look at her, fucking look at her!” I yelled back at
Janey who was now settling Spirit back down on the bed, her hand stroking the
soft hair off her face before she kissed her forehead and sighed with a heavy
sadness.

The action calmed me somewhat. Shit, I shouldn’t have shaken
her, Kenny had caused her enough pain and I hissed through my teeth as I fisted
the wall in a need to rid the anger at both Spirit and myself.

Janey grasped my arm and dragged me out of the room
before seating me on the sofa and pouring us both a measure of whisky.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about Spirit, Bulk” she
said sombrely as she handed me my drink and settled beside me on the couch.

“Then tell me” I urged prior to knocking back the whole
of the glass and leaned forward to help myself to the bottle Janey had placed
on the small table in front of us.

“It’s not for me to tell you her story but you need to
know she really struggles with herself. Go easy on her, Kenny gives her enough
grief and to be honest, she doesn’t need it from you as well.”

She eyed me darkly over the rim of her glass as she
tipped her head back and downed her own drink in one.

“What’s the score with her and Kenny?”

I leaned back on the sofa and rested my ankle on the
opposite knee as Janey tipped her head slightly and scoped me out.  I could
read the hesitancy in her eyes but she sighed again, “He… he has something over
her that Spirit really doesn’t need… exposing. I hate him, Bulk, with a passion
but as he regulates her he guards her and at the moment, he’s all she’s got in
that department.”

I blew out a breath and reached in my pocket for my
smokes. The room was non-smoking but fuck it.

Janey eyed me as I lit up and blew the smoke into the
air, watching it swirl and dance in the streak of moonlight through the window,
“Why her need for coke?”

She curled her tongue between her teeth and shot a glance
at the bedroom doorway before locking me down with a warning stare, “It’s not
the coke you need to be concerned about. Yes, her usage seems to have grown
over the previous few days but usually she only hits when she’s real bad, once
a month or so. It’s the Jack she has a… penchant for.”

I rubbed my face with my fingers as I stood from the
couch and stubbed my cig out in the plate of rocks decorating the table, “I’ll
keep an eye on her tonight. You get some sleep, you look shattered.”

She sighed and gave me a grateful smile, nodding her
thanks as she headed towards her bedroom.

“Bulk…” she murmured as I was about to enter Spirit’s
room.

I looked at her, the sad expression on her face bringing
forth a slight shimmer of my own sorrow. “Please don’t hate her for this, she
is the most amazing person I know but she… she’s broken, completely shattered
by her life and…” She shrugged unable to finish the sentence but I understood
and nodded, giving her a slight smile.

“Yeah.”

She smiled and swallowed harshly as a single tear slid
from the corner of her eye but gave me a tight nod before escaping to the
confines of her room.

My chest tightened as I glanced at Spirit. Her small body
was still twitching slightly but her face was a lot more relaxed and easy.

She was utterly beautiful and I cursed myself for
thinking so. Shona had been stunning, her long blonde hair had framed her sculptured
cheekbones and her twinkling blue eyes had lifted her whole pretty face but
Spirit, Spirit was striking. Her long black waves reflected the life in her
pure green eyes. The soft slope to her petite nose brought on an urge to nibble
the tip and her mouth, Jesus, her lips were so pink and soft but sinful at the
same time. A little sinner. My little sinner.

I stripped down to my boxers and slid under the duvet
behind her, my arms immediately embracing her tight frame and pulling her into
the contours of my hard body… my growing hard body.

Fuck, not now.

I couldn’t help myself. One touch and my dick reacted and
begged for action where Spirit was concerned.

“Not now, big guy” I whispered as I lowered my hand to
the button on Spirit’s jean skirt and popped it, pushing the denim down her
body until it slipped over her tiny feet and dropped off the bottom of the bed
onto the floor, leaving her in skimpy little knickers and a short t-shirt.

That was better; I could feel her softness and I groaned
quietly as she snuggled into me, the roundness of her pert lace covered little
bottom rubbing against my cock and triggering a swift bite to my bottom lip to
hold back the urge to just slide into her heat; feel her moist warmth around
me, sheathing me tightly and driving me wild with the friction of her soft pussy.

“Fuck!” I hissed when Spirit twitched and my dick slipped
into the crack of her ass.

Oh Jesus Christ.

Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea and I closed my eyes
as I spread my palm over the curve of her stomach and pulled her closer.

“Oh, honey” I breathed as I nudged closer and rubbed the
tip of my nose on the soft rise of skin behind her ear. “You smell so good… so
fucking sweet.”

“Mmmm” she mumbled and rocked her hips slightly causing a
rub on my foreskin.

Fuck, she carried on like this and I was gonna come in
the crevice of her luscious arse.

My chest twinged and a slight tightness settled in my
lower gut. My blood was literally throbbing and my brain sizzled under the
electric current of my hunger, a hankering and a yearning for something,
someone that also scared the fuck out of me. I was terrified at what I felt and
the agonised feeling of betrayal tormented my soul.

“Chase, make me yours Chase, I need to be yours.
Always yours.”

“You’ll always be mine, baby, always.” I whispered to the
room as I released my hold on Spirit. Sliding out of bed, I climbed into the
chair in the corner of the room, pulling the throw from the back of it and
covered my shivering body now I had lost Spirit’s warmth. “I’ll never let you
go, Shona. I promise, baby.”