Desert Rogues Part 2 (11 page)

Her cascade of roses and starburst lilies shook slightly in her hands. Her taffeta dress rustled with each movement. She'd chosen the low-cut empire style from several gowns that had been sent over. The simple lines hid her growing belly. She wore the amazing and unexpected engagement ring Sadik had given her that morning on her right hand. They had picked out simple gold bands for wedding rings. After the ceremony she would switch the engagement ring back to her left hand. Then they would go to the reception.

Cleo didn't actually mind that the reception would be small. There would be a dinner for those who attended. No crowd of several thousand, no orchestra, no endless pile of official gifts. Her wedding couldn't be more different from Zara's, but then, neither could her marriage.

Cleo was determined to make the best of it, for herself and for the baby. A life of unhappiness would surely hurt their child.

So she walked slowly toward the front of the church, prepared to marry a man who would not love her. His tenderness today gave her a small amount of hope. If only she could figure out a way to follow Sabrina's very sensible advice. But Cleo didn't have a clue as to how to bring a man like Sadik to his senses, let alone to his knees.

P
leading exhaustion, Cleo escaped from the party shortly after dinner. She couldn't help contrasting her small, quickly arranged reception with Zara's gala affair. Of course she had no one to blame but herself for the different circumstances. Zara had been smart enough to fall in love with someone who loved her. And she'd been smart enough not to get pregnant. Cleo tried to make a joke by telling herself she would do it better next time—except she knew there wouldn't be a next time. No matter what his feelings were for her, or hers for him, she and Sadik were married, and it was going to be a union for life. She would not give up her children, and he would not want the scandal of divorce.

She paused in the hallway, unsure which way to turn. Then she remembered one of the servants telling her that her things would be moved into Sadik's suite during the ceremony. She doubted that anyone would have unpacked her boxes from Spokane and wondered what Sadik would say when he saw her rather tattered teddy bear collection. It was not likely to go with his designer-perfect interior.

Cleo made a left at the next hallway, then stopped in front of Sadik's door. Her door now, she reminded herself. Her world. Her life.

She stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She'd seen the living room of his suite at least a dozen times and yet it looked unfamiliar. She took in the dark furniture, the original paintings on the wall, the view that was similar to the one from her room. She knew that this suite was laid out differently, with three bedrooms instead of two. The master suite was larger, with two smaller bedrooms on the opposite side of the living room.

Cleo crossed in that direction. The bedroom on the left contained a home office setup. The lack of papers on the desk, along with the dust cover on the computer, told her that Sadik didn't do work in here. As his actual office was less than a five-minute walk away, it made sense that he would go there when he needed to get things done.

The second bedroom had been tucked in a corner of the palace with views of both the ocean and the gardens. A good-size alcove jutted out toward the lush foliage below. A double closet held adjustable racks.

The space was completely empty, the walls bare. Cleo wasn't sure she'd ever been in this room before, but she knew it had been emptied for the baby. She placed her hand on her stomach as she turned slowly, taking in the views and the space. It was easy to picture a crib against the far wall and a changing table between the windows. Later, when their child was older, toys could be stored in the alcove. Eventually, when there were other children—she didn't doubt that Sadik wanted many—they would have to move to one of the family suites. But for now this would be home.

Cleo crossed to the wall and touched the smooth surface. What color would be best? A pale yellow, perhaps. Or maybe she should keep them cream and put up a border print of wallpaper. Maybe something with bears to go with her collection.

She closed her eyes and imagined the sound of a baby's soft sighs. She inhaled the scent of sweet skin and powder, felt the cuddly fabrics of sleepers. Her fingers pressed in slightly on her stomach, as if she could touch her child.

“I promise I'll be here for you,” she whispered, and knew that was the most important thing she could do for her child—provide him or her with two loving parents.

While she doubted Sadik's desire to care about her, she believed he would be a good and devoted father. If the price of giving her child the best start possible was her own happiness, then she would pay it.

“I wondered where you had run off to.”

She heard Sadik's quiet words a heartbeat before he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He rested his hands over hers on her belly.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Tired,” she admitted. “Confused.”

“How does it feel to be Princess Cleo?”

She heard the smile in his voice as he spoke, but his question didn't feel amusing to her. Instead her eyes burned. “Nothing about this situation feels real, so I can't answer the question.”

He turned her in his arms. Concern clouded his eyes. “You have the luxury of time to adjust to your new circumstances,” he told her gently. “We are married now. You are my wife.”

Wife. She turned the word over in her mind but couldn't make it sink in. She didn't feel like his wife or a princess or anything but a fraud. A pregnant fraud.

“As you can see, I have had the furniture removed from our son's room. Whatever you require for our child will be provided. There are decorators who are familiar with the palace. There are also several large baby stores in the city, or you may order from catalogs.”

She tried to ignore the ache in her heart and focus instead on the feel of his arms around her. Being close to Sadik always gave her a sense of belonging. If she could capture that sensation now and hold on to it, maybe she wouldn't be so lost.

“How do you know about baby stores?” she asked.

“I have heard rumors. Also, I checked on the Internet. There is much information there.”

“I see.” She stepped away from him and studied the empty space. “I don't have any specific ideas yet. I'll think about it, maybe look at some magazines to get ideas.” She glanced at him over her shoulder. “Do you wish to be consulted before I go ahead with anything?”

“We may discuss it if you would like, or you may make your own choices.”

She figured he knew she was upset and was trying to be sensitive. The problem was that being sensitive didn't set well on an arrogant prince.

He moved close and took her hand in his. “While we are on the subject, I would like you to redo the rest of the suite. At your own pace, when you are ready, of course. But these rooms should be ours, not simply mine.”

“Of course,” she murmured. His being so darned agreeable was humorous, only she couldn't seem to make herself smile.

She thought of the boxes stacked in the living room and her few items of clothing hanging in his vast closet. How on earth was she supposed to fit in here? She was
so
the wrong person for Sadik to have married.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, his voice sounding kind.

He was being nice. Perversely, she almost wished he would go back to demanding his way. At least she understood that man.

“Just that this is all too strange,” she admitted. “I don't belong here.”

“You are my wife,” he repeated. “You are a royal princess of Bahania. Your place is wherever you want it to be.”

“As long as I don't try to leave, right?” she said bitterly.

He dropped her hand and rested his palms on her shoulders. “Cleo, we are married. I know there have been difficulties between us, but it is time to put them in the past. Let us begin again, as husband and wife.”

Anger flared inside her, fueled by a sadness so profound she thought it might break her in two. “I appreciate what you're saying. Of course it makes perfect sense. The problem is I can't forget the truth. If I hadn't been pregnant, you would never have wanted to marry me. When I left here, you didn't give me a second thought. You never called or tried to get in touch with me. I ceased to exist for you.”

What she didn't say, but was thinking, was that while he expected her to get over the past, he had no plans to do the same. Kamra was still alive and well in his mind.

“What do you want from me?” he asked.

I want you to love me, or I want you to let me go.

Cleo sighed. There was no point in trying to answer the question, she thought.

“It doesn't matter,” she said, feeling tired.

“It does to me.”

“No, it doesn't.” She shrugged free of his touch. “I'm not a person to you. I'm a vessel to carry your child.”

“That is not true.” He reached for her, but she backed away. Sadik sighed. “In time you will come to see that you are an important part of my life. You will understand that I have married you with the intention of fulfilling my vows. I will respect you and desire you all the days of our lives.”

She didn't know what to say, so chose to say nothing. When he put an arm around her, she let herself be led from the room. No doubt Sadik thought the problem had been solved. All would be well now.

She walked into the living room and saw that he'd had food brought in. Several covered dishes sat on a wheeled cart.

“We had dinner at the reception,” she reminded him.

“You did not eat. Come. You will find that I have ordered all your favorites.”

The thought of eating made her stomach turn. “I'm not very hungry,” she said. “I'm tired, Sadik. I want to go to bed.”

He glanced at her. She figured he would be able to see there wasn't much of an invitation in her eyes. No doubt he'd been expecting that they would do the wild thing that night—after all, they'd only made love once since she'd come back to Bahania and this
was
their wedding night.

Sadik saw the weariness in Cleo's expression. He wasn't surprised that she was tired. There had been many changes in the past few weeks. But the hopelessness also lurking there disturbed him more. He wanted her happy for the sake of the baby. Too much sadness could not be good.

His first instinct was to order her to smile, but the ridiculousness of the instruction stopped him. He could force Cleo to do as he wished, but he knew he would have little luck making her feel as he would bid. She could be both stubborn and difficult.

Patience, he told himself. He would be patient and she would come around.

He kissed her gently on the mouth, resisting the passion that flared instantly. “Go to bed,” he told her. “I will not bother you this night.”

She pressed her lips together, then nodded gratefully and headed for the bedroom. As he watched her go he had the fleeting thought that she would be taking the only bed in the suite, which left him in the uncomfortable position of being a bridegroom with nowhere to sleep.

Once he was alone, he glanced around for something with which to occupy himself. The food did not interest him, nor did he want to watch a movie or read a book. He prowled restlessly through the living room, then down the hall to the two empty bedrooms. The first would be for the baby. He tried to imagine how his son would look sleeping in his crib. Sadik frowned, then tried to imagine anything about his son. He did not have contact with infants or small children, nor did he know anything about Cleo's pregnancy. He barely knew when the child was expected.

His frown deepened as he made his way to the second bedroom. The makeshift office had not been used in some time, but the computer would be adequate for his purposes and it was hooked up to the Internet.

In a matter of seconds he'd logged on to a search engine and typed in the word
pregnancy.
Far too many links came up. He chose several at random and began to read. An hour later he saw there was much to be learned. He clicked his mouse on an on-line bookstore and searched their stock. When he'd ordered a half dozen different books on pregnancy and childbirth, he returned to the various Web sites and began to read.

 

Cleo woke up shortly after dawn. Except for a bathroom break, she'd slept through the night, resting more deeply than she had in weeks. She might not like her current situation, but knowing her fate apparently allowed her to relax about it.

She knew it was time to make the best of a bad situation. Upsetting herself couldn't be good for the baby, and being depressed would only make her feel worse. She and Sadik were married. In her case the “for better or worse” seemed to be starting out on the “worse” end, but her complaints were her own problem. She had shelter, food and a man who desperately wanted his child. They were healthy and her future was secure. Considering all that, the dream of true love seemed a little greedy.

Sadik had been right when he'd pointed out they had passion and mutual respect. And friendship. For the most part they got along. She enjoyed his company, and she would guess he enjoyed hers. That he'd been able to let her go without once thinking about her was irrelevant.

There were worse fates than being married to a wealthy, handsome prince who didn't love her.

That decided, she got up and brushed her teeth. She was trying to decide if she wanted to eat before or after her shower, when there was a knock at the bedroom door.

Sadik let himself in before she could decide what to do. He glanced first at the empty bed, then made his way into the bedroom.

“You're already awake,” he said, sounding disappointed.

Cleo was too taken aback by the tray he held in his hands to answer.

“I've brought you breakfast,” he said. “Please return to bed. I will serve you.”

She was so surprised she nearly stumbled. “You're serving me?”

“Yes. It will be this way every morning through your pregnancy.” He set the tray on the nightstand. “Unless I have to travel for business. Then I will have one of the servants bring in your breakfast.”