Desire: #4 Brightest Kind of Darkness (4 page)

I listen to Ethan’s even breathing and the sound of his heart beat thumping at a slow, calm pace. He’s my rock. The one person I know I can depend on. Inhaling his clean, masculine scent, I finally lift my head and grimace. “So yeah, things pretty much went south when my mom arrived early.”

Ethan’s dark eyebrows shoot high. “She came home while your dad was still there?”

I lace my fingers with the hand he’d rested on my thigh. “Yeah. Of course, I haven’t shown my mom the videos yet, because I’d planned to do that within a day of my dad coming, sometime
after
Christmas. Instead, all my mom sees is her daughter sneaking around behind her back and hanging out with the man who abandoned them both without explanation over a decade ago.”

Ethan slowly runs his thumb over mine. “So what happened?”

Once I relay everything from this morning—well, minus my dad’s comments about our relationship. It’s not like I’m going to stop seeing Ethan—he shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Nara. Maybe once your mom gets back from her errands, she’ll have calmed down enough to talk to you. I’m sure discovering your dad there wasn’t easy for her.”

I nod quickly. “I totally understand her anger and sense of betrayal. What bothers me is the fact that she couldn’t look me in the eye. That really hurt. I can’t imagine my mom not looking at me ever again when she talks to me.”

Clasping my cheek, he turns my eyes to his. “Samson didn’t look at me directly for several days after I woke up in the hospital. I think it’s a defense mechanism.”

I swallow, hope filling my heart. He’d been through the same thing. “Defense mechanism?”

Ethan slides his thumb along my jawline, a brief look of sadness in his eyes. “Remember how you refused to look at me when I first woke up in the hospital? I tried, but you wouldn’t meet my gaze.” When I sniff and nod, he offers a half-smile. “Of course, I flipped when you left my room, but now I know only someone who still cares about you will react like this. They feel betrayed and need to work through it in their head first. Otherwise, they wouldn’t bother. That’s why you left, right?”

When I nod, he says, “Give your mom her space. She’ll come to you wanting answers, like you did me.”

I laugh at that, the weight on my heart lifting a little. I wrap my arms around his neck. “Or demanding them, huh?”

He grunts, then smiles and folds his arms around my waist, pulling me close. “Exactly.”

“Thanks for talking me down. My dad seemed to admire Mom getting all feisty, but I’ve never seen her ‘silent-treatment’ angry before. It freaked me out. I just wish there was something I could do. I hate feeling so helpless. Like I should’ve said something before now.”

Ethan shakes his head and presses a kiss to my temple. “You can’t make it right for everyone, Sunshine. Your parents have to decide on their own. This is the time of year when families usually ban together. I’m sure that’s making you extra sad, especially with your dad back in your life, but no amount of…”

When Ethan trails off, I sit up. He’s staring into space as if he were contemplating something. “What are you thinking about?”

He looks at me and lifts an eyebrow. “The holidays gave me an idea. I’m not sure if it might help, but I don’t see how it can hurt.”

I rest my hands on his shoulders. “Go on.”

“It’ll require some scouting.” Grinning, he grips my hips, then glances toward the window. “Out in the cold and definitely traipsing through a bit of snow. Think you’re up for it?”

I quickly slide off his lap and stand, waving for him to follow. “What do you have in mind?”

“Mistletoe,” he says as he stands and stretches.

“Mistletoe?”

He nods and immediately lowers his arms to hook them around my waist, pulling me close. “It’s appropriate for Christmas, but it’s also a tradition; not only does it provide protection and peace while it’s hung in doorways, but no one can pass under it without kissing someone.”

“Mistletoe,” I pause and gesture to his Christmas tree, “Popcorn and cranberries…I had no idea you were so traditional.”

Ethan glances at the tree in the corner, a pained half-smile on his lips. “I have many needle holes in my thumbs to prove otherwise. There is definitely stuff you still don’t know about me.”

Smiling, I nod. “I have to admit, I didn’t expect the garland. I love it, by the way.”

He laughs. “All Samson’s bright idea. Maybe having our parents in the same town inspired him to want to relive a happier time in our childhood or something. It had sounded like a great plan when he suggested it, but the reality of just how much length you need to decorate a whole tree had us cursing each other in no time.” He sighs and shrugs. “It’s done now at least. Next year we’re buying fake garland like normal people do.”

“No, you’re not! Don’t you dare skip such a neat Christmas tradition. I’ll help next year, and I’ll even bring some holiday spiced cider to enjoy while we’re working on it.”

The blue in Ethan’s eyes deepens and his hold on me tightens. “It’s a date.”

I eye him with amused suspicion and rest my hands on his chest. “Now about this mistletoe. How do I know this isn’t just another excuse to kiss me?”

He drops a quick kiss on my lips. “I’ll never pass up an opportunity to kiss you; however, mistletoe
is
special. Its mystical qualities can be especially potent if you harvest it from the highest branch of a white oak hundreds of years old. The older the tree, the stronger the mistletoe’s power.”

I curl my fingers against his soft thermal shirt. “That sounds very specific. How do you know this?”

Bafflement crosses his face, and he slowly shakes his head. “I have no idea.”

Tapping his chest, I smile. “Must be your Corvus sharing some of his eons-old knowledge. I take it you at least know where we can find a hundreds-year old oak with mistletoe growing on it?”

A cocky grin rides his face. “Yep, but we’d better get going. It snowed more in the northern areas of Virginia this morning, so the snow will be deeper there, making it harder to get to. I have to be back here to pick Samson up at the airport at two. His car’s in the shop right now. And I’ll need to stop by a sports store first, then we can swing by your house and pick up snow boots. Sound good?”

“Sports store?” I ask, tilting my head.

Ethan laughs. “You’ll see.”

I smile and push up on my toes to wrap my arms around his neck. Kissing his jaw, I whisper, “Thank you. A day of adventure with you sounds perfect.”

Ethan

I look over at Nara biting her bottom lip. She’s worrying over her mom and David getting closer while her dad’s now back in her life. Grasping the steering wheel, I give up trying to get her to guess what’s in the sports store bag, and clasp her hand, offering my warmth. She doesn’t even notice, she’s so deep in thought. All I want to do is make it right for her. She always sees the good in others. Even now, I know she hopes her parents will work things out. And for her sake I hope they do.

Unlike my screwed up family, hers might actually have a chance now that my Corvus laid the smack down on Fate. I actually owe him for that. Scaring the hell out of Fate was the best thing the raven spirit could’ve done for her. At least now, that spiteful amorphous entity will leave Nara and her family in peace.

When she sat there in my arms on the couch earlier, so still and silent, my heart dropped. I’ve never felt so helpless. Nara is always so positive, and to see her so upset stripped me bare. I didn’t know what to say to make her feel better. That’s why I was surprised when the idea for the mistletoe came to me. I knew the knowledge wasn’t mine, but the intent, the desire to make her smile again...hell yeah, that was all me.

I pull through the woods and park my car. When I skim over the sunlight reflecting off her blonde hair and vivid green eyes, my heart actually aches. I love her that much. Last night was freaking amazing. I didn’t want to leave her this morning. All I wanted to do was clasp her hand and pull her back into bed so I could spend the day loving her from head to toe. I wanted to bask in her sweet smell and run my fingers along her soft skin all over again. For as long as she’d let me.

Last night wasn’t just sex. It was an epiphany, not just that I was right about us being perfect together physically, but it proved what I knew in my heart—that I’d never feel complete without her. The peace that I felt while she slept in my arms left me shaking. I watched her sleep until my eyes couldn’t stay open any longer. I just didn’t want our night to end. It’s like I knew that as soon as my eyes closed, we’d be yanked away from each other, from
us
, once more.

I shut off the engine, my love for Nara punching me in the gut as I turn to look at her. That another person can hold so much sway over my inner calm should scare the absolute shit out of me. I’ve worked so hard to control my reactions to all the negative and evil stimuli around me. Yet from the day Nara crossed my path, she crashed through my controlled façade with her own special brand of amazing. And she’s never stopped looking forward since; she never lost hope. Not for me. Not for anyone.

Until today.

Above all else, I will always want to keep her safe, but second to that, I’ll do everything in my power to make her happy.

When she smiles, sunshine rains down on me, and all I want to do is soak in its warm, cleansing rays. The darkness only lives in the corners when Nara’s by my side.

Today, I’m going to give my Sunshine her hope back.

Nara

Ethan has spent the last fifteen minutes trying to distract me from my thoughts. After I’d stopped by my house for snow boots, he picked up something from the sports store. But even though he keeps trying to get me to guess what’s inside the red plastic bag sitting on the car seat between us, it isn’t enough to pull me out of my conflicted musings. All I can think about is the Christmas store explosion that had gone off in my living room while I’d been at his house.

When I walked in the door to get my snow boots, Mom and David were putting up a brand new Christmas tree. The fake tree was massive and sported thick branches that made it look incredibly real and near picture perfect. Boxes of new ornaments, garland, and additional lights littered every bit of furniture, waiting to be put on the tree. The whole lot must’ve cost her a fortune.

I tried to quietly bypass them, but when Mom saw me start to head upstairs, she smiled and told me to come help them decorate the new tree together. Relieved I had other plans, I said, “Sorry, Mom. Ethan and I are heading out to do some…last minute shopping”
—for mistletoe and all the wishes it’ll entail
.

While David wished me luck on my shopping, none of Mom’s earlier anger showed on her face. Instead, she just nodded her understanding to my excuse, then started to hum to the Christmas song playing in the background as she moved around the Christmas tree, May-pole-style, with a string of multicolored lights of purple, red, teal and blue. Yeah, I couldn’t get back out to Ethan’s car fast enough.

Lifting my hand from my lap, Ethan kisses my knuckles, drawing my focus. “It’ll all work out, Nara. You have to believe that.”

I blink at the snow-covered clearing in front of us, the pond to our left, and the stand of trees surrounding us. “We’re here already? I must’ve really zoned.”

Ethan slides his thumb over my knuckles, and understanding reflects in his blue eyes “I left you to your thoughts, but now we’re here to cheer you up.”

Right then, the noon sun slowly slides out from behind the gray clouds. When its bright rays spill across the secluded space, the blanket of undisturbed snow surrounding the pond begins to sparkle, as if someone has scattered a layer of diamond dust across it.

“It’s gorgeous!” A smile spreads on my face, and my fingers tighten around Ethan’s. “If that’s not a good sign, I don’t know what is.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

My attention slides back to Ethan, but he’s not looking at the snow; he’s staring at me.

I squeeze our clasped hands. “Thank you for bringing me here. Even if we don’t find the mistletoe, seeing this reminds me that things might seem dull and gray, but brightness always finds a way to burst through.”