Desire (#5)

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About Carrie

DESIRE 5

Carrie Cox

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Copyright © 2012 Carrie Cox

All rights reserved.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from the author.

I STARED DOWN AT the pregnancy test in my hand, still rooted to the spot in the restroom. I couldn’t believe it. How could this have happened? We always used protection, except – Oh, God – except for that afternoon at the Vastors’ house.

I blinked, hoping one of the pale blue lines might disappear before my eyes, but both lines remained stubbornly in place.

I heard the door squeak open as someone else entered the restroom. I wrapped the test in tissue then dumped it in the bin and exited the stall.

My hands trembled as I tried to extract soap from the dispenser. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were wide, but other than that I didn’t look any different. How could I be a mother? I wasn’t ready, and – Holy Crap – I knew Benjamin wasn’t ready to be a father. He’d only just come around to the idea of a relationship.

But I couldn’t keep it from him. He’d notice soon enough when my belly started to expand. I’d have to tell him tonight. But how? I’d give him heart failure if I just blurted it out.

I heard the toilet flush in one of the stalls behind me, reached for a paper towel to dry my hands and then hurried out before I would have to smile and make small talk. I didn’t think I could manage that right now.

The rest of the day passed slowly. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I was distracted and couldn’t focus on my work. Usually concentrating on an art project made me forget my worries, but today it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t stop my mind whirling through ways I could break this news to Benjamin.

It wasn’t until I left the Preservation Society at the end of the day and headed over to my old red truck that I remembered Colin and Tina were coming to dinner tonight to celebrate my sister’s last day at rehab. I really thought she had made it this time. She had done so well. I couldn’t ruin her evening.

I climbed into the truck, breathing in the familiar smell of the linseed oil from my equipment in the back. I started up the old girl and turned on the air heater. Autumn had chilled the air considerably in the last week. I watched as a gust of wind blew red and golden leaves into the road from the branches of a maple tree.

I would tell Benjamin tomorrow. There was no point in spoiling the evening for everyone else and one extra day wouldn’t make any difference.

I smiled to myself as I put my foot on the gas and my truck roared to life. Benjamin had tried his best to convince me to drive one of his cars. He even said he would buy me any car I wanted if only I stopped driving this truck. I’d resisted so far. I loved the old girl. I didn’t want to consign her to scrap, but I did enjoy driving Benjamin’s Aston Martin around Newport.

I felt a little better now. Knowing I wouldn’t have to tell Benjamin tonight calmed me.

I arrived home and was surprised to realise Benjamin was already home. I entered the master bedroom and could hear the shower running. He’d left the bathroom door slightly ajar.

I licked my lips, imagining Benjamin naked in the shower, hot water cascading down his toned body. An overwhelming urge to join him tingled through me. Should I?

I couldn’t resist.

I stepped inside the bathroom. The fragrant steam enveloped me, making my hair frizz and my cheeks flush.

The panel of glass separating me from Benjamin had steamed over, hiding areas of Benjamin’s body from my hungry eyes, but I could see enough to make my heart race.

I pulled off my clothes being as quiet as possible. He had his back to me, the water running down that beautiful toned back.

I stood naked, my heart thundering in my chest. I wasn’t so sure this was a good idea after all. What if he turned me away?

As I stood there debating with myself, he turned. His eyes widened, and his mouth parted when he saw me. Heat pooled between my legs when I saw his eyes darken.

After a moment, he beckoned me forward.

I stepped inside the shower and gasped at the heat of the water.

“Have you come to wash my back, Kate?” he asked.

His deep, sexy voice sent tremors of desire down to the apex of my thighs, but I couldn’t respond. I was mesmerised by those amazing dark eyes.

He squirted some shower gel on his hands and rubbed them together, creating foamy bubbles.

Oh my. I hoped he was planning to use that on me.

He rubbed the soapy suds across my breasts, and my nipples hardened beneath his fingers. He gave a murmur of appreciation as his hands travelled lower.

“I’d like to make sure you’re really clean, Kate,” he said.

I gasped as his fingers slipped between my legs. He kept his eyes fixed on mine as his skilled fingers worked their magic. My hips started moving beneath his hand, and as the sensation built, I arched my back, pushing my hard nipples into his chest.

I heard his sharp intake of breath.

“Lean forward,” he said. “I want to have you in here.”

The stab of lust I felt almost overwhelmed me as I leaned forward and placed my hands on the cool bathroom tiles to brace myself.

I held my breath, waiting.

The tip of his hardness pressed against my opening and I pushed back.

“Oh, yes,” I whispered.

He clamped his hand on my hips and in one movement he slammed inside me.

I cried out and heard his groan above me. He thrust into me again, and I lost my grip on the slippery tiles. I was trapped between the slick tiles and his hot, hard body. My breasts pressed against the cool surface as he moved in and out.

I pushed back, driving him deeper inside me.

His arms reached around me, feeling their way to the wetness between my legs. He moved his fingers over my clitoris in a steady rhythm as his erection filled me from behind. My insides tightened and I realised I was so close. My whole body stiffened as I surrender to the overwhelming detonation inside of me.

“Yes, angel,” Benjamin whispered above me as he thrust into me four more times then groaned as he climaxed.

As we climbed out of the shower, I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face.

He nuzzled my neck. “I take it you are feeling better?”

“Huh?” I said, still basking in the warm aftermath. Then I remembered. He heard me throwing up this morning.

“Yes, I’m much better now,” I said and wrapped myself in a towel.

“I noticed,” he said, planting a chaste kiss on my forehead. “We better get changed for dinner. Your sister will be here soon.”

I reached for my cosmetics bag. “I won’t be long.”

He tied a towel around his waist and left me in the bathroom.

I caught sight of my flushed face and messy hair in the bathroom mirror and grinned. Sex with Benjamin just got better and better. I moved my hand down to rest against my belly. Maybe things would work out. If he had time to get used to the idea, he might even like it.

At the end of the huge dining hall, Benjamin had a fully stocked bar, which was usually only used for large functions held at the estate, but now the four of us, Tina, Colin, Benjamin and I, gathered around it.

Tina turned up for dinner, looking fantastic. Her hair gleamed. Her skin was soft and smooth. I was amazed at the difference a few weeks could make.

“Wow, Tina. You look fantastic,” I said. “I’m so proud of you.”

Tina gripped my hands and leaned forward to kiss my cheek. “Thank you, Kate. I couldn’t have got through this without you and Benjamin.”

“I think this calls for a celebration,” Benjamin said, raising a bottle of Dom Perignon from the ice-box.

Tina giggled as Benjamin popped the cork.

I watched my sister closely as she took a full glass of champagne from Benjamin. I hoped this time it was for real. I really wanted my sister back. I felt a small stab of jealousy as Tina placed a hand on Benjamin’s arm, laughing at something he had said. Benjamin was polite and charming as usual, how could I blame her for falling under his spell a little?

Benjamin offered me a glass. I shook my head. “I won’t tonight. Still feeling a little off-colour.”

He frowned and raised a hand to push my hair back from my face. “Are you still feeling unwell?”

“I’m fine, but after this morning, I think I should stay away from alcohol.”

“Soda water?”

I nodded, and he poured me a glass from the bar.

When we all had our drinks, Colin raised his glass. “To Tina,” he said. “We wish her every success for the future.”

Tina blushed. “Thank you.”

Over dinner we talked about what Tina would do next. The logical step would be to look for a job. Selfishly, I hope she’d find a job nearby so I could see her more often.

Tina sipped her drink then shrugged. “There’s not all that much work in Newport … for someone like me.”

“What sort of thing would you like to do?” Colin asked.

I knew Benjamin would find Tina a job if I asked him to, but I didn’t want to do that. I thought she needed to accomplish this herself. For a long time she had relied on other people’s help. I thought it would help her self-confidence to work through this on her own.

“Well, I’m not qualified for much,” Tina said. “Maybe waitressing work, in a restaurant or a coffee shop.”

“There are lots of those here,” I said. “Why don’t you stay with us for a few days and see if you can find anything?”

I felt Benjamin’s cool eyes on me. We’d discussed this last week, and he’d been prepared to help Tina out as much as he could, but I knew he was worried about me getting hurt again.

“Are you sure?” Tina asked, turning to look at Benjamin. “I don’t want to put you to any trouble.”

“It would be no trouble at all,” Benjamin said.

Tina beamed.

It was a good evening, and I enjoyed seeing my sister so full of hope for the future, but my secret niggled away in the back of my mind. I couldn’t put it off indefinitely. I would have to tell Benjamin tomorrow.

Carter, the butler, brought us coffee, and as he served Colin, he lowered his head and whispered something. I gave him a sharp look. I had never liked Carter. He always seemed to be looking down his nose at me.

Colin placed his napkin on the table. “I won’t be a moment,” he said and pushed his chair back and followed Carter out of the dining room.

Benjamin was telling Tina about restaurants in the area, and Tina was listening to him intently. Neither of them seemed curious about what Carter had said to Colin.

I tried to put it out of my mind. I had other things to worry about.

After we had dinner and I had made sure Tina was settled in one of the guest rooms, I returned to the master bedroom, feeling a little nervous. Would Benjamin notice I was hiding something from him?

“We’ll have a guest in a few weeks’ time,” Benjamin said, undoing the buttons on his shirt. “Alexander Harding. He owns a mining company, and I’m hoping to do business with him.”

“Mining?” I pulled a face. “For coal?”

Benjamin shook his head. “Precious stones. Diamonds mainly.”

That perked up my interest. Diamonds were much more interesting than coal in my opinion.

Benjamin laughed. “Perhaps I could buy you something. A necklace?”

He moved towards me and encircled my neck with his hands. Then he leaned down and pressed his lips to my neck.

I forgot about my pregnancy, diamonds, and future guests. My mind was filled with Benjamin.

WHEN I WOKE THE next morning, Benjamin had already left for work. I had breakfast with Tina, who was excited and a little nervous about job hunting. Benjamin had offered her one of the Easton company drivers to take her around town so she could drop off her résumés at places at as many different restaurants and cafes as possible.

Tina smeared butter on her toast, as I sipped my tea.

“Are you not eating?”

I shook my head. I was feeling a little queasy, although thankfully it was nowhere near as bad as yesterday.

I left Tina to it and headed out to the Preservation Society. My stomach churned. I didn’t know if it was morning sickness, or caused by nerves. I was dreading telling Benjamin. I decided it had to be tonight. I wasn’t making it any easier by dragging it out. Soon, he’d realise something was wrong, and he’d be hurt I hadn’t told him sooner.

The morning dragged as I worked on watercolour touch-ups. The paintings were not worth much financially, but they had historical value and I was annoyed at myself for letting my attention wander.