Desire in the Arctic (17 page)

Chapter 22

Ana never thought there’d be an upside to being jobless, but the sudden time off had been welcomed. Instead of flying back home after the hospital had released her, she had flown to Texas to visit Stephanie. She knew she could stay forever, but it would soon be time to go. Ten days was long enough for her to toughen up and face her prospects in New York. By herself. Redd had not contacted her once.

He had dismissed her, just like everyone back home. But Redd’s action hurt the worst. He was the one she had admired and valued most, so his rejection cut the deepest. He was also the man she had felt closest to. But the bond was gone now.

As angry and disappointed as she was over his dumping her, without even so much as a goodbye, she found comfort in believing that, at least during their one passionate night together, he had cared about her. There was no harm in her thinking this, even if she knew deep down it wasn’t true.

And why would he care when she so foolishly cost him the prize money? She never should have left the safety of the cabin. Or ever thought she could save
him
.

In fact, wasn’t that what he’d been telling her all along? That the best thing she could do was to shut up and stay away?

Upstairs in Stephanie’s guestroom, Ana packed up her belongings. She’d be gone the next morning. Back to the East Coast. Back to real life and real problems. She’d be hitting the unemployment line. It was a good thing Teleworld already wired the promised money into her account. Not just the fifty thousand dollars they had contractually agreed to, but another one hundred thousand in severance pay, in exchange for her not suing them.

It sounded like a large sum, but in a city like New York, the money would go quickly. Who knew how long it would take her to get another job. Management level positions in television were not easy to come by. It’d be better to give up her apartment to save money. She could stay with her parents in her old room. They had saved it for her, a shrine to their beloved daughter. A daughter who was, unfortunately, such a ninny she was destined to come home. She winced. Worst. Welcome mat. Ever.

“Ana? You there?” Stephanie’s voice called out.

“Yeah, Steph. Come on up.”

The sound of Stephanie’s footsteps grew louder until her friend was at the door. “What are you doing?” Stephanie asked, eyes wide in alarm. “I thought you were going to stay at least a few more days.”

“I want to stay longer, you know that. But it’s time you and Colin had a little privacy. If I’m here any longer, I’ll become part of your walls.”

“Colin, please come up here,” Stephanie called downstairs.

Colin appeared a few seconds later, looking at them quizzically. “You don’t want my opinion on
The Hottest Bachelor
again, do you?” he joked. “You know I can’t stand reality shows.”

“Amen to that, brother,” Ana quipped.

“Ana’s leaving,” Stephanie said. “You need to stop her.”

Colin furrowed his brow. “Sorry, Steph, honey. I know you love Ana but we can’t force anyone to stay.” He looked soulfully at Ana. “But there is something I need to tell you before you go.”

Ana sat down on the bed, leaving the two of them standing.

“Did Redd tell you how he got chosen to be the Arctic Gladiator?” Colin asked.

“No. I assumed Casting found him.”

“They didn’t. Redd asked me to recommend him to Teleworld, and with great reluctance—”

Stephanie interrupted “—and a helluva fight from me—”

“What?” Ana cut her off. “How would you two know each other?” Then she fell silent as the memory of an earlier conversation with Stephanie flooded in, the one held on the eve of Ana’s flight to Alaska. “You do know each other. I was so scared I shut everything out of my mind, including that phone call. But I should have figured it out anyway. You’re both Special Op’s men. About the same age. From the same part of Texas . . .”

“Yes, and we were assigned to many of the same missions. The world is smaller than most people think.”

“I guess so,” Ana said, dumbstruck.

“You didn’t tell me,” Stephanie chided, “that you’d be one of the Gladiators, too.”

“I was afraid to discuss the show at all. Because if I told you—” Ana started.

“I know,” Stephanie said softly, “you were afraid my fear over losing people would freak me out.”

Ana nodded. Colin wrapped an arm tightly around Stephanie’s waist. Followed by a kiss on his wife’s cheek. Ana was touched by the tender show of affection toward her best friend. Although witnessing what she’d never get to experience herself was overwhelmingly sad.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear about Redd,” Colin said to Ana, “and I don’t blame you. But I think you would be less upset if you knew some things about him.”

“If it’s about what happened to his sister, I already know.”

“Did he also tell you what the prize money would have been used for?”

“No. He said it was none of my business,” she said flatly.

Colin laughed. “That sounds like Redd, all right. But since he hurt you real bad, I think it
is
your business. The money was going to fund cancer care services for the poor. In memory of Hailey.”

Ana swallowed. “Kind of explains why he didn’t want to talk about it.”

“For all the years I’ve known Redd, he’s never wanted to talk about anything personal. He’s a little like Steph here, he feels loss very deeply.” He kissed his wife again. “I’m not asking you to forgive him. Just to understand him. Enough to not be angry anymore. He probably just freaked out because you almost died on his watch. As a former Special Ops Marine, I can understand where he’s coming from. Especially with all the baggage he’s been carrying around.”

Ana was silent. Colin put a hand gently on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “If it helps you any, I’m sure he cared for you a great deal. Giving up the prize money must have been the hardest thing for him to do. Hanging on to his sister’s memory was all the man had. Maybe he couldn’t bear to have anything happen to you, too. And I’m sure he’s sorry he let you down.”

Ana blinked back a torrent of tears. Her eyes felt hot and stingy.

“You’ll be okay, Ana,” Colin said gently. “You and me are wounded warriors. It means we know how to survive.” He stepped away to roll up his sleeve and held out his severely scarred arm.

Ana nodded and rolled up her sleeve. She held it up, showing her large scar, too.

“Branded by Teleworld,” Stephanie said softly. “They can hurt your body, but never let them hurt your soul.”

Ana gave them a small smile. “Thanks, guys,” she said with a sniff. “I needed to hear all this. My soul will be fine. Eventually.”

“We’re here for you, sweetie,” Stephanie said, giving Ana a large hug.

“Always,” Colin confirmed.

“Get some sleep, Ana. We both love you. See you in the morning. Everything will look brighter then,” Stephanie said, taking Colin’s hand and walking out the guestroom’s door.

Ana sat with her head in her hands.
But will it be bright like the Alaskan summer sun?
Would things ever be as good as they were with Redd? Even stuck in a crappy cabin during a blizzard with limited food, survival gear, and weapons, she had never been happier in her life. Being without so many things made her realize she needed only one thing—Redd.

Even before Colin’s explanation, she knew she missed Redd. Now that her anger had ebbed, she could finally admit to herself she loved him, too.

The next morning, Ana trotted downstairs from the guestroom with a big smile on her face.

Stephanie, however, greeted her with a frown. “Geez, Ana, you don’t have to look so happy about leaving. I’m going to miss you terribly, you know.”

“I know. That’s not why I’m happy.”

Stephanie’s eyes went wide with excitement. “Then you’re staying? That’s excellent! We can get you a job here on our farm. I’ve learned to do lots of things, I’m sure you can, too.” Stephanie raised her hand to do a fist-bump, but Ana shook her head. “No, I am going back, but not today. I need another day or two to take care of an important piece of business. And, as my former boss, I’m going to need your help.”

Stephanie arched an eyebrow. “Do tell.”

“We both have experience in television. I want to hold a press conference at the closest hospital to Redd with a cancer wing.”

“Of course I’ll help you. What are you going to say?”

“I’m donating one hundred thousand dollars to start a foundation. One that makes medical payments for indigents needing cancer treatment. I’m calling it The Hailey Redding Memorial Medical Fund.”

Stephanie’s jaw hung open. “Ana, you’re amazing.”

“It’s not that much money, of course, but it’s the most I can afford to give away right now. It’s all the severance money Teleworld gave me. But I’ll need to keep their initial check. I have no idea how long it will take me to find another job.”

Stephanie smiled. “I know one of your former bosses who would love to give you a great job reference.”

Ana laughed. “Good. I was going to use your name whether you wanted me to or not. I hope you’re willing to say I’ll be a great manager. I think it’s time I started finding out exactly what I’m capable of. It’s high time I really challenge myself professionally. Maybe personally, too. Who knows, maybe I’m really not the big, dippy, ninny the old neighborhood in Brooklyn thinks I am.”

“I know you’re not. You’re a bright, smart, capable woman.” She hugged Ana tightly. “I love you no matter what you achieve in business. You are the best woman I know, Ana Davis. And you’ll always be my best friend.”

Ana awoke and sat up on Stephanie’s guest bed. She yawned, enjoyed a stretch, and looked out the window. Sunlight was flooding in. It was a good thing the window was open or it would be stifling hot. Texas weather in the summer was a whole lot more reliable than in the Arctic. Then again, summer weather in New York City was pretty predicable, too. Hot, sticky, and sweltering. As much as she was looking forward to going home in a few hours to start the next phase of her life, she was not looking forward to sweating while doing it.

After a fast, cool shower she threw on her
Just Do It
, Nike sweats and was almost ready to head out. The plane tickets were already tucked away in her purse. She kneeled down to put on her shoes when the doorbell rang.

She left the shoes and ran downstairs to answer it. When she opened the door, her mouth fell open.
A heat-induced mirage. It must be. Texas really is hot.
“Redd?”

“Can I come in?”

It took her a second to really register his presence, let alone hear his request to let him in.

“I deserve to have you not want to talk to me,” he said slowly. “I know it must seem like I bolted on you. How you must have taken my leaving. But I didn’t mean to hurt you. I felt so bad for not saving you. From the wolverine’s bite. From Mark’s firing you—”

“It’s okay, Colin filled me in. I know you did the best you could. You couldn’t protect me from everything. You couldn’t protect Hailey from everything, either. I just wish you hadn’t disappeared.”

“I’m sorry for taking off.” Redd’s large, round eyes looked sad. “I owe Colin a thank you for trying so hard to put my life together. First he got me the gig on the show. Then he spoke to you for me.” He let out a gruff laugh. It warmed Ana’s heart to hear the rare sound. “Colin told me I was acting like a terrified little kid, and that I would lose you if I couldn’t get my emotional crap together.” Tentatively, he lifted his hand to her, lightly stroking her cheek.

She could feel him trembling as he touched her.

“I saw you on TV,” he said. “You were dedicating one hundred thousand dollars to sick people in my sister’s name. That’s when I knew I could no longer fight what I’ve been feeling for you.” He gulped so loudly she could hear it. “Ana Davis, I’m in love with you.”

She sprang into his arms.

He caught her and held her tight. A single tear ran down the length of her face. She buried her head in his neck, not bothering to wipe it away. “I’m in love with you, too, William
Redd
Redding. They’ll be no more tears for us, ever again.”

“How about tears of joy?” he asked. Without waiting for an answer, Redd got down on one knee, right there on the threshold of Stephanie’s doorway. He withdrew a black velvet box from his front pocket, which he promptly opened.

Ana’s eyes widened still further when she peeked inside. The box contained a diamond engagement ring.

“It was my grandma’s,” he explained. “She had many happy years with my grandpa. She handed this down to my mother, who wanted me to give it to you. It’s precious to my family. And now I want you to be my family, too. I love you like I have never loved another. And I need you like I’ve never needed another. You are the air I need to breathe. The blood my heart needs to beat. I cannot live without you any longer.” He took the ring out of the box and held it up to her. “Ana, will you marry me?”

“Oh my God, Yes!”

Epilogue

Living in Northeast Texas with Redd was the life Ana hadn’t dared to dream about. Prior to Alaska, she had given up hope a man would love her quirky ways. But Redd seemed to embrace them. He’d laugh when she peppered him with a million questions. Even answering them all. He had also learned to volunteer what was on his mind.
Shocking
.
Just imagine everything he’ll tell me after we’ve been married a full year.

Redd was trying so hard for her. And with every effort he made to open himself up, she loved him a little bit more.

His family was open to her, too. His mother was kind and generous of heart. Giving her family’s engagement ring proved it. It wasn’t like his mother could well afford to give away anything of value, even the modest ring.

Redd had enough saved up from his military career to buy a house. And they had his pension to fall back on too. Ana found a job. After her press release about the Hailey Redding Memorial Medical Fund, a local television station was so taken with her TV presence they hired her as a part-time newscaster. She worked weekends, broadcasting from different venues. Always giving airtime to local charity and community events.

The salary here was a whole lot lower than what Teleworld had paid her as a producer, but the satisfaction with her new job was so much higher. She was now using the power of broadcasting for good, whether it be for a new business’ ribbon cutting or kids winning a 4-H award. She named her show’s segment “Positively Ana.” People seemed to be catching on, and ratings were climbing steadily, with more viewers tuning in every weekend.

Redd spent his days working with Colin on the Brandts’ farm. Stephanie had offered her the job, but Redd was the one to take it. She was glad he made that choice. Being outside, surrounded by bucolic scenery with a trusted friend, seemed to smooth his damaged soul. Even Redd’s mother had never seen him so at peace. It was no wonder. The monkey had finally been lifted off his back.

Ana smiled. Even her cat Tiny was happier here. Running around outdoors had even caused him to shed a few pounds.

Teleworld was the only one not happy. Ana heard the company gossip from Devon. The Board of Directors was upset the show had ended with the female contestant being injured, scarred, and left with no prize money. The network’s goal was to attract more female viewers, not create public outcry. Mark, Neil, and Bernie were left explaining how a small fortune had been spent on a show that would never air.

But even if Teleworld had wanted to broadcast the show, they would have been out of luck. The camcorder Ana had used to tape their journey was missing. In the madness of the rescue scene, and Ana’s hospitalization, no one seemed to notice it was gone. Redd would never admit to taking it, but whenever she brought it up, he gave her a large grin. He told her it was the only question she could hound him with that he would never answer.

Good thing talking to Redd was only her second favorite activity. Being newlyweds, they did have other uses for their time. Like, now, for instance.

Ana laughed as Redd pulled her closer to him. “You’re insatiable, Redd. Don’t you military guys ever quit?”

“Ana,” he said, gazing deeply into her eyes, “I will never get enough of you.” He leaned over, kissing her passionately on the lips. “You are the best things that’s ever happened to me. I love you.”

“No,
you’re
the best thing that’s ever happened to
me
.”

“You know,” he said, grinning, “if I kiss you harder, maybe you’ll finally stop talking.”

“Good luck with that,” she murmured against his mouth.

“Shhhh,” he whispered. And then he made sure she was so occupied with what he was doing, she didn’t say another word for a blissfully long time.