Desire of the Soul (20 page)

The air turned dark around me, and I whimpered again. Dark, dark, dark. Not good, not a good dark.

“Did you say that Dracul did this to you?” Duke roared, his eyes a burning red in the dark.

I smiled, feeling myself light up at the thought of Dracul. My wonderful Dracul. “Yes, yes, yes. Dracul helped me, saved me, stopped the pain. Happy, wonderful, amazing,” I sighed out, and giggled once again.

“Where are you Tammy?” Duke snapped, the anger lacing his words like poison, stinging me from all sides.

“Ater, Ater. Ater Council. I’m with my mom and dad, and Dracul, and everyone! Everyone, everyone, everyone. So wonderful, so, so wonderful.”

“The Ater Council? Damn it, I should have known. Don’t worry Tammy, I’ll save you.”

I smiled at the thought, the dream already starting to fade. “Save me? Save me from what? What, what, what?” I whispered, just as the dream ended, and the pain began.

---

My body was ripping itself apart again, ripping, ripping, ripping, and leaving me in pieces. Bloody, broken, burned up pieces.

I gasped at the pains sudden arrival, craving the bliss I’d had with Dracul’s touch. Tears started to pour as I began to sob, my body shaking with the pain the Transformation was causing.

“I’m sorry Tammy, we had to wake you somehow. I’m so sorry,” my mom said, crystalline tears falling from her own face.

Dracul stepped forward as if to touch me once again, but my mom stood in his way. “No, we can’t do that anymore. She’s too vulnerable when in that state. Didn’t you see it? He got to her,” she hissed, her eyes darkening until they turned more black then brown.

I gasped as another bout of pain hit me, and reached blindly for Dracul. “What do you mean he got to her? Who is he?” Dracul asked, his voice hard and grating at my sensitive hearing.

“The King of the Lucis Council, the Second Amatores, Duke, whatever you’d like to call him. He got to Tammy, and is now coming to try and ‘save’ her. It’s disgusting really, how hard he works for that Council. He doesn’t even see the darkness lying beneath all the…”

In all of a second the pain disappeared, instead being replaced with something much worse.

The Red.

“Dracul?” I heard my mom whisper, her voice sounding far off.

“Yes?”

“It’s time.”

Breaking

I wanted to force the Red out; knowing it appearing meant horrible things for me and for Dracul.

It meant a death to everything we had; it meant that it was time for Dracul to die.

I couldn’t though, it was burning too fiercely in my body, and it had come to quickly for me to push away.

I looked down on my body, seeing my iris’s turn crimson, and my muscles tense as if to spring.

“Are you sure you can do this?” my mom asked, her voice soft as she looked at Dracul. I knew that he would never say no, he’d save my life no matter what.

“As I said before, I’ve been ready for this for quite a while. Do not worry about me. We cannot allow her to feed from me until her soul returns to her body though. If we do, then the Red will not leave, and instead of Tammy inhabiting her body, the Red will.

“That makes sense, but how do we know when Tammy returns to her body? I mean she could be anywhere, right?”

Dracul shook his head, and then looked up, his eyes locking with mine. “She could, but she chose to stay right here. Tammy, I know you can hear me and see me, just as I can hear and see you. You have to return to your body,” Dracul said, and I bit softly on my lip.

How could he see me? He was in Amatores form…he wasn’t a Soul.

“I c-c-can’t,” I sobbed, my fists digging into my eyes. I didn’t want to either. If Dracul died, my staying as a Soul would ensure my ability to forever be with him.

‘Would that really work Tammy? Your soul is tied to Dukes, so wouldn’t it naturally wait for him?’
The voice found its way into my head, spiraling around me in a beautiful melody.

‘My soul is what?’

Distantly I remembered the Test, and my soul finding Dukes and kissing it. Tying our souls together.

‘You have to return to your body Tammy, you have to finish the Transformation.’
And with that, I felt the presence leave my mind, leave me.

“Just force yourself through the Red, you can do it Tammy, I know you can,” Draculs encouraged, and I felt myself fighting the force that was keeping me out of my body.

Fighting to stop the madness that would happen if the Red took Dracul, if I took Dracul. My eyes snapped shut as I forced myself into my body, the pressure making my insides twist.

Finally they snapped back open, and I jolted up from the bed.

My whole body was on fire, the Red tinting my vision. I needed blood, I needed it. “Dracul,” I rasped, reaching out to him for comfort. It burned, my throat lighting up like there were fireworks going off inside of me.

He stepped toward me, his face soft against the harsh light that seemed to be chopping everything into pieces. “It is alright Tammy, I promise it will stop. You just have to drink, okay?” he murmured, petting my hair lightly.

I shook my head, the world wobbling off balance for a moment. “I can’t-I can’t do it Dracul. I won’t.”

Dracul sighed, a flash of guilt crossing his face. “Then we will have to do this the hard way. I am sorry that it will have to be done like this my love, but this seems to be the only visible way.

Before I could ask what he was talking about, Dracul nodded towards my mom. She sighed, then took a knife and slit Draculs exposed throat.

Instantly my heartbeat spiked, and my fangs slid out. His blood dripped onto my skin, hypnotizing me with its beauty, and with the scent that was purely Dracul.

Masculine, woodsy, and soft. A perfect mixture.

“No,” I protested weakly, watching with hunger as Dracul put his bloodstained neck over my mouth. Already the wound had healed, but the blood was still fresh as ever. Fresh enough to pull at the Red and force me to bite.

The world exploded in front of me, my body instantly locking with Draculs. A shiver went down my spine as we grinded against one another, my body needing to touch every inch of him. I felt his hands pull at my shirt until it was off completely, and then do the same for my pants. We still weren’t close enough though, I still needed more.

I retracted my fangs from his neck, feeling the lust thicken even more as I bit down again by his collarbone.

Soon all clothes were gone, and I faded into the bliss that was Dracul.

---

I woke up with a smile, my whole body warm from the inside out. Memories of the passion I shared with Dracul the night before searing itself into my memory.

“Finally, you’re awake.” I jerked my head towards the voice, shaking myself from the thoughts I’d so easily fallen into.

“Father,” I sighed, chewing softly on the inside of my cheek.

He stood beside my bed, tall and imposing, the cool composure not cracking a bit.  Now that I knew he was half-Expletus, I could see that part in him.

I could see it in the way the coldness emanated off of him, his features inhumanly perfect, his eyes looking as if they could pierce your very soul.

“Father, where is Dracul?” I asked, swallowing a lump in my throat. I distantly realized that I was no longer in pain, no longer burning with thirst. But that couldn’t mean…I couldn’t have…

“I am right here,” a male voice rasped out, and once again my head jerked towards the sound.

My eyes welled up with tears, and I attempted to hop from the bed to run over to Draculs side. It did not work very well, as there were multiple tubes and wires attached to me, and my legs also happened to be chained down to the bed.

“Dracul, you look terrible! I am so sorry…I am so, so sorry. Oh God,” I sobbed, light pink tears no doubt pouring down my face.

A brittle laugh came out of Draculs mouth, and then a long, heaving cough. “Do not be sorry, my dear Tammy. Never be sorry.” He smiled, then closed his eyes, his body drooping in the chair he was stretched out on.

I pulled the tubes off of me, breaking the chains that bound my legs, and ran to Dracul.

“Don’t forget me,” he whispered, his eyes glassy when they reopened.

I held in another sob as I moved a stray hair from his face, feeling my heart clench tightly in my chest. “I would never.”

“Promise?” he asked, his voice getting softer, his heartbeat slower.

“Swear.”

I watched in horror as Dracul slumped against me, and his soul detached from his body.

With only a last glance at me, and a smile that shook me to the core, Dracul stepped into the gates of Time, for whatever was waiting for him ahead.

I dropped to the floor, pulling my legs in tight to my body, and rocking back and forth. Dracul, my Dracul, my beautiful, wonderful, selfless Dracul. He was dead, gone, never to return.

I felt my heart tear into two, my being tear into two, and started to sob.

Sobbed for the unfairness of it all, for Dracul giving his life for mine, for the love that I would never be allowed to have.

I sobbed for myself, for the future that looked so bleak, so empty. I sobbed and I sobbed, until I had no tears left, until all I could do was continue to try and hold myself together. To hold Draculs cold, dead hand tight to my body.

“Are you done?” my father asked, his demeanor cold as he reached toward Draculs lifeless body. I jumped in front of it, a growl resonating in my throat.

“Don’t touch him,” I snarled, the Red pulling at my depression, working it to its advantage. I lunged toward the threat, toward my father, my fangs extended and almost drooling at the prospect of another meal.

Before I could get even two feet though, I felt an injection in my neck, and then watched as everything went black.

---

“-expect me to do? She attacked! My daughter attacked me, attempted to kill me for God’s sake!”

“Dracul just died in front of her! He died! What did you think would happen?”

“Mary, don’t you think we have more to worry about than the fact that I had to sedate our daughter? Take Grant for instance. We had to lock him up in a separate room while Tammy drank from Dracul, do you understand what that means? It means that Tammy also drank from Grant, our top Hudas! We’ve kept him from Amatores Sanguinis for precisely this reason, we did not need him to be attached or bonded to any of them. You know what happens when an Amatores Sanguinis and a Hudas bond. This will only end up in disaster.

And if that is not enough, we still do not know if the Transformation actually worked! We do not know if this was all for nothing. If our efforts to save our daughter were for nothing.”

---

“-she awake? It’s been days…”

---

“-worried, maybe she’s in pain? How would we know?”

---

“-we have to get her out of here! They’re here! No just-”

---

“Tammy, baby, I’m here. Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve come to save you.”

I opened my eyes, feeling nothing but crushing grief as I looked at the man who was supposed to be my soul mate. “Duke, don’t-” but it was no use.

My eyes closed again, as he picked me up and blackness fell.

Shattered

My eyes snapped open, my heart beating erratically in my chest. I felt empty, as if all the life was completely drained out of me.

What a terrible nightmare, a strange boy dying in my arms. Who was he again? The name was on the tip of my tongue, yet it would not come to me.

He had been so handsome, even the thought of his face making a blush creep onto my cheeks. Why would I dream something so terrible as his death?

I struggled to sit up from the bed I was laying on, feeling as if weights were wrapped around each limb. “No, don’t try to sit up,” a voice said, seemingly familiar in the way it warmed my body from head to toe. I tried to lift my head to put a face to the voice, but even that was locked in place. “Don’t move, Tammy.”

Tammy…was he speaking to me? I felt as if all my memories were stored away on an unreachable shelf, my fingers just barely grazing the edge. What was happening?

“Tammy,” the name flowed out of my mouth, feeling light on my tongue. What a wonderful name, I hope it belonged to me.

“Atmaja, what is happening?” the voice asked, making my stomach light up with an inferno. It felt like Heaven, causing a smile to fall upon my lips.

“Her body has just gone through the Transformation, it has to acclimate.” Another voice, this one sharp around the edges, making me want to lift my hands to cover my ears. Atmaja, I assume that was the speaker’s name.

“Acclimate? What do you mean acclimate? Tell me she will be okay-” I tuned out the voices, their pointless banter boring me. What was a ‘Transformation’, and who is ‘she’?

“-Tammy, do you know who I am?” I flinched at my name, feeling a warm hand gently touch my arm.