Desired (12 page)

Dying, I begged Caleb to turn me.

He listened.

I was brought to Pollepel, an island in the Hudson River,
to recover—once again, saved by Caleb. He left me,
though, to go back with Sera, to go back to his people. He
said it was just to help them, to save them from the war. I
had been so jealous. Instead of giving him the room he
needed, I believed he loved Sera.

I trained on that island, and met Polly, my best friend, and
Aiden, my mentor and teacher, and Blake, a
mysterious
boy who I loved but never really understood. I trained and
fought and became a much better warrior.

Became more of myself.

And then I found out that I was pregnant, and that rocked
my world. I just knew that Caleb was in danger. I
left the
island, to save him. Aiden told me that if I left, I could
never come back. I chose Caleb. He was more
important
to me.

I joined Sera, and together, we fought to rescue Caleb,
who’d been captured in the vampire wars. We found him,
captured in Kyle’s coven. And we were about to free him.

But Sam had been caught in the grip of Kyle’s terrible
influence, and he used his shapeshifting powers in an evil
way. He tricked us, and he even tried to kill me. But Sera
had stepped in, and gave up her life for mine.

But Sam had actually killed me, because he tricked me to
kill Caleb. With my own hands. With the Sword.

Aiden had told me that there’d be one chance to save
Caleb: if I went back in time. I had agreed to lose our
child,
to give up everything, to try. Aiden told me I could
never come back. I let it all go for Caleb.

I found myself in Italy, in 1791. Assisi. Venice. Florence.

Rome. It was a whirlwind. In Venice, at first I
couldn’t find
Caleb, and then when I did, I had my heart broken to
discover that he didn’t remember me. I fell in love
with
Blake, though, and in Florence, I finally found a clue to
lead me to my father. But again, Kyle appeared, and
stole
it away, and captured us both.

In Rome, I fought for my life, in the Colosseum, in Kyle’s
cruel games. It was because of me that Blake died,
taking
a stab for me. Nothing hurt worse than that.

How many people will have to die to keep me alive?

Then their came Sam. I thought he would try to kill me, but
he saved me instead. As did Caleb, who finally
remembered. The three of us fought our way out together,
and made it to the Vatican.

There, I met my people. My true people. They gave me
the first of four keys I need to find my father. And then
sent
us back in time. Yet again.

And here I am now. In this new time and place. Finally
reunited with Caleb—or so I thought. I felt sure that
this
could be the time and place where we could finally be
together. When everything was perfect.

And now, it all seems to be falling apart, once again.

And who am I now? A daughter without a father? A sister
without a brother? A girl without a boyfriend?

Should I be searching for the Shield? Should I be
searching for my father? Should I be chasing after Caleb?

Should I wait for him here?

Or should I leave this place forever?

*

Caitlin burst out the front door of the castle and ran in the
night, through a waist high field of grass. As she ran,
she
tried to set off, to fly into the air, but her wings wouldn’t
work. She ran faster, trying to jump, to lift off, but
nothing
happened. As she continued to run, nearly out of breath,
she finally realized that she didn’t have the power she
used to.

In the distance, on the horizon, stood a lone figure, his
body silhouetted against the full moon. The sky was alight
with an enormous moon, illuminating thousands of small
clouds. Caitlin ran towards the figure, feeling that it might
be
her father. Or possibly, Caleb.

As she ran, suddenly, the landscape sloped downward,
and she found herself running down, into a valley.

Eventually, she was running up the other side again, up a
huge hill. But the hill became so steep, and she grew
tired.

The lone figure stood atop it, beckoning, but it was too
hard for her to reach him.

The landscape became rocky, and Caitlin found herself
slipping on huge rocks as she was trying to run up the
side
of a mountain. She was losing her grip and as she
did, a rockslide began.

She slid downward. She grabbed hold of a large rock,
hanging precariously, and looked up, hoping for help.

Her father looked down, holding out a hand.

“Help!” Caitlin screamed.

“Find me, Caitlin,” he responded, as his hand nearly
reached hers. “Don’t give up the search.”

Caitlin reached up, trying to touch her father’s hand, but
she lost her grip, and suddenly, she was sliding down the
mountain, further and further down, until she was falling
endlessly into a black hole. She screamed for all she had,
knowing that she was plummeting to her death.

Caitlin woke screaming.

She looked al around, breathing hard, trying to remember where she was.

She spotted a dying candle in the corner of the room, and saw Ruth lying on her bed, looking at her with concern. She saw the huge window, open to the moonlight, and realized it was just a dream.

She was stil in Caleb’s castle.

Caitlin got out of bed, covered in sweat, and paced, barefoot, on the stone floor. It felt so weird to be in this huge place alone, to be in his bed alone. She felt like an intruder here, and felt disoriented.

The dream had seemed so real. Her heart was stil pounding as she crossed the room, then through the huge doors and out onto the open terrace. She grabbed a jug of water and gulped it down as she stood on the terrace, looking out. Her throat was parched.

She heard a whining noise, and looked down and saw Ruth at her feet, looking up. She put down what was left of her water, and Ruth quickly lapped up the rest.

Caitlin studied the sky, lit up in the moonlight. As much as she had loved being here the day before, now, she hated it.

It felt wrong to her. Despite the unusual circumstances, she stil felt as if she had been spurned by Caleb. She felt he should have refused, that he should have just been happy with her, and had stayed put. That he shouldn’t have gone flying off the second that Sera contacted him. She knew that she was being selfish, and she understood that he missed his child.

But stil , she felt like she deserved better than that.

Caitlin zoned out, standing there for she didn’t know how long, as she slowly watched the horizon begin to break, the dark blue gradual y melt into a softer, lighter blue. She felt so confused about so many things. Maybe her dream had been a message. Maybe she
should
focus on the search.

Maybe it was time to let Caleb go from her life.

After al , Caitlin did desperately want to find her father. She did want to have al the searching behind her, to have her life return to whatever state of normalcy there might be. And somehow, she felt, as long as the Shield was out there, as long as her Dad stil loomed on the horizon, her life would never quite be normal.

As dawn began to break, Caitlin realized she needed to clear her head, to stop the thousands of racing, conflicting thoughts swirling through it. Ruth whined again, and this time, Caitlin picked her up. Ruth clearly needed to take a walk, and so did she.

Caitlin walked down the stairs and out the castle, into the dawn, and fol owed the trail through the fields. The trail wound its way right into a patch of woods, and Caitlin realized that would be a perfect place for a long walk.

Caitlin wound her way into the woods, and already felt more relaxed. It was darker here, stil night, and more peaceful.

Al around her were towering trees, blocking out most of the sky, and she could hear the songs of a few early morning birds, just waking. It was tranquil.

Caitlin thought of where she might go next. She found herself thinking of the unopened scrol , of her father’s letter.

Maybe now was the time to open it. Maybe something in there would lead her, show her the way. Maybe she was being punished for not fol owing her mission to begin with.

Maybe she had needed al this drama to force her back on track.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a twig snapping. Caitlin spun.

She was shocked to discover that there, fol owing her, was a large man, about twice her size. He was overgrown, with missing teeth, and a half open mouth. He looked like a real brute, very mean.

She could see trouble in his large, black eyes.

Caitlin heard another snap, and turned the other way to see two more ruffians approaching her.

They were nearly as big as the first man, and, covered in scars, had even meaner expressions, if possible.

Her heart started to pound as she realized she was being ambushed. Probably local thieves, or rapists, waiting to pray on passersby. She had been so stupid. She should have been more vigilant.

Just because she was in middle of nowhere, didn’t necessarily mean it was safe.

Normal y, Caitlin would have been fearless, but she hadn’t had a real chance to test her ful powers since she’d arrived back in time. Did she stil have them? She knew she could fly. But did she stil have the strength? The rage? The reflexes? The speed and agility and fighting skil s?

Now was hardly the time to be experimenting, she realized, with a pit her stomach.

“Take off your clothes,” one of them barked.

It was the big one, and as she looked, she saw him pul something smal and shiny from his waist. It was a dagger.

Clearly, these men didn’t just want to rob her.

Ruth snarled beside her.

“I’m only going to warn you once,” Caitlin said, in as loud and firm a voice as she could muster.

But deep inside, she was trembling. “Don’t come near me.”

A short, harsh laugh came out from the two other men, as they each pul ed out daggers of their own.

“This one has a mouth on her, doesn’t she?” one of them asked.

At that moment, the first one, several feet closer, reached for her. Caitlin waited, not wanting to show her hand.

Ruth suddenly lunged at the man, and bit as hard as she could on his ankle. Ruth was smal , but her teeth were sharp, and as she clamped down hard, the man screamed in agony. He shook his leg furiously, swinging Ruth in the air, but she would not let go. Final y, he swung hard, and Ruth went flying.

Caitlin saw her chance. She lunged forward, sending the heel of her hand up high and hard, right into the base of the man’s throat.

It was a perfect strike. She hit him in the vocal cords, and he immediately raise both hands to his throat, and dropped to his knees.

Caitlin grabbed him by the back of the head, and brought his face into her knee, breaking his nose. He fel into the ground.

Caitlin suddenly felt her arm burn with pain, as she heard the slicing of a knife.

She grabbed her arm in pain and felt the hot blood pour out of her—and realized she had been sliced by a dagger.

Stupid of her. She had left herself open to attack from the other men, who were faster than she’d thought.

Before she could react, she was grabbed from behind by the other man. She struggled, but the man was strong, and no matter what she did, she was unable to break free.

The other man came around and faced her, wiping his lips with the back of his hand, as if looking at his next meal. He quickly pul ed down his pants.

“Undress her,” he commanded the other.

The other began to reach around and grab Caitlin’s shirt.

That was when it happened. Caitlin closed her eyes and suddenly thought of al the times in her life she’d been attacked, abused, bul ied. She thought of New York, back in the al ey. She thought of Cain, on Pol epel. She remembered Venice. She even thought of her mother, who never had a kind word for her. And more than anything, she felt al the frustration and anger that had built up in her from Caleb’s leaving her. The heartbreak. The depression. She was overwhelmed with rage. She could scream at the world. It wasn’t fair. She deserved better.

It just wasn’t fair.

A sudden, inexplicable rage flooded through her. She felt her arms and hands and shoulders bulge, and suddenly felt the strength of a hundred men. She leaned back, broke free of his grasp and roared. It was the vicious snarl of an animal, of a wolf. Of a vampire.

Caitlin turned, grabbed the man and threw him, and he went flying at ful speed, until he smashed into a tree, unconscious.

The other man, his pants down, suddenly stared at her wide-eyed, in shock, as if staring at a wild tiger that had just been unleashed from its cage. His expression changed from audacity to fear and cowardice. She could see him trembling.

But Caitlin had no sympathy left. She had transformed, into a beast, and she couldn’t hold back her primal urge. She lunged into the air, and kicked him hard in the chest with both feet. The man, his pants down, went flying through the air, and cracked his head hard against a tree. He slumped to the ground, unconscious.

Caitlin spun in time to see the big one charging at her. She waited, then at the last second, bent down, easily picked up, and hurled him through the air. He went flying headfirst, this time into a branch, impaling and kil ing him on impact.