Desperate Measures (18 page)

and we‟ll go talk while we eat.” He urged her out of her seat.

She rose and didn‟t fight. This wasn‟t the place for any conversation and in spite of the

fact that she was still angry, she wanted to go with him. She glanced at her friends and saw them

grinning. If she didn‟t know better, she‟d think they set her up for this, but she knew they hadn‟t

talked to Connal since she‟d had words with him.

“We do have a few things we need to talk about.” She nodded. “I‟m ready to go if you

are.”

“Good.” He took her hand and led her out of the dining hall.

He was silent on their walk through the hallways. She didn‟t know whether to take that as

a good sign or a bad sign. Deciding not to dwell on what he could be feeling, she focused on the

walk to his rooms. She didn‟t know what to say and she couldn‟t really expect him to make easy

conversation when she couldn‟t.

He led her into his room. He waited near the door and she walked past him. She suddenly

had the feeling that she‟d stepped into the predator‟s lair. She grimaced. It was a fine time for her instincts to start sending up alarms. She was already inside and he didn‟t look like he was in the

mood to let her out.

“You‟re still angry over what happened earlier.” He stayed where he was, not making any

move to get closer to her.

“Yes.” Her answer was short, but her voice wasn‟t terse. She wanted to see how he‟d

respond and what he had to say.

“Were you just going to stay with your friends tonight and avoid me?” He folded his

arms over his chest and simply stared at her. She‟d never thought being watched could be so

intimidating, but that piercing look made her want to fidget and squirm.

“I was going to spend the day with my friends, because I knew I was still angry. Heaping

more angry words on top of our earlier confrontation wasn‟t going to help anything.” Raine

shrugged. It was obvious to her.

“How long were you going to wait before you would have come to me?” Connal raised

an imperious eyebrow.

“Until I wasn‟t angry anymore or something changed.” She shrugged again.

“I wasn‟t about to apologize if that‟s what you mean by change. We didn‟t get into any

arguments last time because you were too busy trying to throw off my suspicions and were

agreeable. We‟ll fight. You‟re too used to doing things your own way for the adjustment to be

easy.” He slowly came across the room, his stride measured. His eyes were locked on her.

Her eyes widened as his words registered. The man was talking about longer than the

time it took to find his crewmate. That stunned her. She shook her head back and forth slowly.

That wasn‟t something she was ready to think about. There was too much she didn‟t know about

him and the entire situation. She really needed some distance and to know if this was more than

just an intense attraction.

“Did you seriously think I was going to let you disappear so easily after you helped us? I

wasn‟t going to allow that the first time you left us. With the pull between us, do you seriously

think that I‟m going to allow you to walk away without discovering what‟s truly behind it?”

Connal took the final few steps separating them and his hands cupped her shoulder, holding her

loosely as if he was afraid she‟d run out of the room if he didn‟t have his hands on her.

“It‟s sex.” She didn‟t even fully believe that herself, but admitting to him that it was more

scared her. She wanted to have a plan before she confronted that possibility. He came with a lot

of ties and she‟d avoided a pack for years. It wasn‟t going to be an easy decision regardless of

the fact that her feelings for him were growing.

He laughed. “You must be really scared of what you feel. You‟re trying to make yourself

believe it. But it‟s not that easy, is it?”

“Are we going to eat?” She folded her arms across her chest. No way was she touching

that statement.

“You‟re not going to be able to hide from it for much longer. I won‟t let you. I‟m not

hesitating or second-guessing this and we‟re not going to be taking any steps back.” He stared

down into her eyes.

“I‟ve already told you that you don‟t get to order me around like one of your crew.” She

pushed her hand against his chest, but he didn‟t budge. “You don‟t get to decide everything. If I

want to be by myself to think about how things are going then I‟ll be alone.”

“So you can brood and let your fears rule you? I‟d bet you would have waited if I hadn‟t

made some move tonight.” One of his hands rose to cup her cheek. “I‟m not wasting any of the

time we have together here. You‟ll know before you leave that this is something special just as

surely as I do.”

“I told you I wanted to calm down before I confronted you again.” She wasn‟t about to

elaborate on when that would have happened.

“Give me credit for at least knowing when someone is stuck by their own pride. I‟ve had

some experience with seeing it and dealing with it with my crew. You wouldn‟t have made a

move until I did. If that had meant virtually ignoring me for the time that we have left you would

have done it.” He leaned down and brushed his lips over her cheek. “I wasn‟t about to let that

happen.”

The man was probably right, but she wasn‟t going to admit that to him. He already had

the tendency to think he knew best for everyone. Encouraging that belief wouldn‟t help, but she

didn‟t have a snappy comeback ready. She settled for rolling her eyes and hoped that conveyed

just enough sarcasm.

“So I‟m supposed to ignore the fact that I‟m still angry with you and cooperate with what

you want. Why would I do that?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Not ignore it, but what‟s building between us is more important than the anger. Now

we‟ll eat and then we‟ll get on to maybe working on lessening that anger.” He clasped her hand

and drew her over to the table.

She dragged her feet and not only to show that she wasn‟t going to fall so simply into his

plan. It wasn‟t that she stubbornly planned to hold onto her anger. She didn‟t know what to do.

His attitude had caught her off guard, although she loved the way he‟d touched her and wanted

more. She‟d expected a fight. He‟d given her statements of what he expected to happen. How

was she supposed to respond to that? She drew in a deep breath.

His hand landed over her mouth, but not hard, just covering her lips. “Don‟t.”

She glared at him. All right, so she‟d been about to let loose a tirade. He‟d had his say.

Now it was hers.

“Do you know how much I wanted to accept the challenge you threw down today?” He

slowly pulled his hand away from her lips. “The only reason I didn‟t was because I promised not

to do anything to reveal what you were while you were helping us.”

She blinked, stunned. She hadn‟t seen it as a challenge really. She‟d thought of it more as

confrontation with words, not as some prod at his position as leader. “Nothing that I said was

untrue and it wasn‟t meant as a challenge, merely as a reminder that I don‟t follow your orders

this time.”

“You‟re on my ship. You‟re in my bed and you don‟t think that you‟re subject to

following my orders.” His eyes narrowed and he leaned in close.

“I could remove myself from both.” She smiled sweetly. She wasn‟t buying into that

reasoning.

He growled. The low rolling sound made her lean back a bit and she saw the sharp tips of

his fangs. “Not happening. Now go to the table and sit down. We‟re both a little too angry right

now.”

“You could have waited like I meant to do.” She strolled to the table.

“I don‟t back down or wait to tackle a tough problem.” He slid into his seat and looked at

her. She could see his tension, but most of his anger seemed to have gone. “I want everything out

now so that you‟re not holding onto any of your anger.”

“You want everything out. Well, I think you‟re wasting your time and some of our time

going after that man. He‟s not behind it. The more effort we have focused on finding who did

want a woman like Tricia, the faster we‟ll find her.” She leaned forward, putting her hands on the

table.

“I got that from your explanation earlier. It doesn‟t change anything. We will still focus

some of the search on him. He knows we‟re still here and he will try something.” He tilted his

head seemed to be waiting for the next volley.

“Your attitude infuriates me. You act like we are part of your crew. We‟re not. I‟ll

concede for right now we‟re your guests, but that will last only as long as it takes to get Tricia

out of those people‟s hands.” She clenched her jaw to stop herself from saying something else

about removing themselves from the ship.

“I treat you like part of the crew because in a way you are. You said it yourself. I‟m

paying you for finding Tricia. When I pay for someone to do something, you‟d better be sure that

I‟m actively involved in every step of the process and that I will have a say in what‟s done.” His

smile was as hard as his voice.

The fact that he was using her own words against her only made her even angrier. She

hated to admit that he had a point. While he hadn‟t paid them yet, they were technically in his

employ. She fumed in silence for a while.

“I hate you.” She looked down at the cloth-covered table and the covered dishes. Her jaw

ached and she wanted to scream.

He grinned. “You hate being wrong as much as I do. Try taking a few deep breaths and

concentrate on eating for a while.”

“I‟m surprised no one has taken you out yet. You‟re pretty much insufferable.” She shook

her head. It really did amaze her. He must be really good at fighting or inspire strong loyalty.

“Surprisingly there have been very few people who have a problem with my leadership.”

He began pulling the covers off the platters and bowls and dished out the food.

“That is surprising,” she muttered, but began to help him with the food.

He didn‟t get angry. He merely laughed. “Are you going to keep antagonizing me

through the meal?”

She took a deep breath. “You know you don‟t make it easy when you won‟t even respond

to the barbs. It just makes me feel like I‟m being bitchy.”

“You‟re already angry. Why should I feed it by slinging nasty words back at you?” He

shrugged.

She ate instead of responding to that. He was using logic in a situation where her

emotions were ruling. She wondered how he could be so detached. She certainly wasn‟t. Was it

only the sex he was ensuring continued for her duration here? She‟d thought he‟d felt more for

her than that.

“Is something wrong?” His voice lowered and she saw him frown.

She shook her head, pushing away the thoughts of what he wanted. She was in no

condition to be thinking about that. Even her own thoughts were muddled. She couldn‟t even try

to decipher what his actions meant, not without making a complete mess of it.

“Nothing‟s wrong. It‟s just a little more difficult for me to shift from anger to acting as if

everything‟s normal as you‟re doing.” She grimaced. That was an understatement. Her mind

seemed stuck right now.

“Everything‟s not normal to me. I want to avoid another fight with you if at all possible.”

He reached over and put his hand over hers as it rested on the table. “I‟ve been trying to come up

with something to say that wouldn‟t raise your hackles or sound inane.”

She felt a smile tug upward. She‟d admit that that wasn‟t normal. Even when they‟d both

been playing games, there hadn‟t been that many tense silences. “How about we just eat and take

things as they come afterward?”

“That sounds like a plan.” He nodded.

They ate in silence, but it wasn‟t the nerve-stretching, tense silence of before. She‟d

suggested it because she couldn‟t think of anything else that might help, but she was amazed that

in a way it worked. Her anger didn‟t disappear magically and she didn‟t see things entirely his

way, but she was able to relax a little and realize that he was right. They‟d been bound to fight at

some point and if things had gotten much more heated, one of them might have taken things to a

more physical level.

She wasn‟t going to try to pretend that it wouldn‟t have been her. It probably would have

been. He seemed to have a little better control than she did. She also realized that talking about

this now wouldn‟t get them anywhere. She needed time to get some emotional distance because

she was just reacting to the slight.

When they both finished eating, she rose, but she didn‟t head immediately for the couch.

She waited for him. As he stood, she stepped forward and put her arms around him. This wasn‟t

the time for conversation or any of the other light entertainments he had over there in that corner.

Now they both needed to get their minds off the anger and issues between them. She couldn‟t

think of anything better than to lose themselves in the mind-blowing feelings that erupted any

time they touched.

His hands settled lightly at her waist, but concern darkened his eyes as he stared down at

her. “Are you sure?”

“I‟m sure. I think we both need this a lot more than we need to talk right now. Talking

doesn‟t seem to have gotten us much of anywhere.” She leaned close and inhaled his scent.

She loved that musky essence, but she was a little frustrated by not knowing the answers

to the questions plaguing her mind. It would be so easy if the blocker wasn‟t inhibiting that part