Destination Connelly (32 page)

N
ora

“
B
een
a lot of change this year, Ladybug.”

“Yes, a lot,” I agree. So much I have to not think about it most days or it’s overwhelming.

New city, new job, new life. New chances at true happiness.

I found out our high school best friend was a psychotic turncoat who deviously plotted to keep Connelly and me apart. Oh, and bonus, that I never did sleep with him as he’d led me to believe. It all makes sense now. My lack of memory, no evidence of our indiscretions, no soreness between my legs, and most of all, his insistence about the whole surprise remaining top secret.

And, finally, in the biggest plot twist of all, my father isn’t dead but has been with me all along, guiding me, loving me, being the supportive father figure that mine never was.

When Carl came to see me last week, I immediately knew something was wrong. I thought he was going to tell me he’d lost every cent he had or that, God forbid, he was dying. But as soon as he divulged his secret love affair with my mother, everything clicked. The same temperament, the same ideals, the same love of life. I was more like him than I ever was my father. Things went too far the one and only night he and my mother were together. I was conceived and none of them ever spoke about it, but they all knew I was Carl’s, not my father’s.

It makes so much more sense now—how my father let Carl have so much leeway in our lives. When I questioned Carl about why my mother didn’t just divorce my father and marry him, all he would say was that my mother loved my father, too. I guess I’ll never know the complications of their love story, and I’m not really meant to. What I do know is that Carl loved a woman who loved him back but they couldn’t be together.

Carl hasn’t admitted it to me and Connelly refuses to say, but I know he set up the whole sale of SER so Connelly and I wouldn’t make a similar mistake. That’s the selfless love of a parent for their child.

“She’s going to be after you for a brother or sister pretty soon,” my father says, throwing his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. We watch Hazel dote on Grant and Cash like a little mother hen. She even tried her hand at changing their diapers, and when she found a little surprise in one, she handled it like the true champ she is. She’s going to make a great big sister.

Laughing, I reply, “She already is. Daily.”

I have to admit, I was nervous about today. I haven’t eaten much this week leading up to Thanksgiving. It’s the first time I have seen Barb Colloway since Connelly and I reunited. She came to Chicago a couple of weeks ago, but I was out of town for a business meeting and missed seeing her. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure I was quite ready anyway. Regardless of Connelly’s forgiveness and the wrongs that were done to both of us so long ago, I still carry a tremendous amount of guilt. I’m working through it, but that doesn’t disappear overnight.

Now I know where Connelly gets his capacity to forgive: his mother. The second I walked through that door, she had me in her arms, whispering how glad she was to see me again and how happy I make her son. I held it together. Barely.

“You get that CEO spot filled yet for Kinnick?”

I snort. “Finally. Last week. In my seven years of doing this job, that was the most difficult man I’ve ever worked with. I’ve already made it known to Connelly that in a few years when this next CEO is fired, I will not work on his replacement.”

“Bet you’re glad to have that behind you.”

“No truer words have been spoken.”

I hear commotion to my right and see that Connelly and his brothers have returned from their annual game of HORSE. Connelly looks absolutely victorious.

“I don’t know why I even bother to play that stupid game with you every damn year. You’re unbeatable,” Asher grumbles. Alyse throws her arms around him, planting a big kiss on his cheek before whispering something in his ear that makes his eyes fall half-mast with desire. He lifts her so her legs wrap around him, even with her growing belly, and walks out of the kitchen.

Well then. Guess Ash will be getting a consolation prize that will make his loss sting a little less.

“Hey there,” Connelly murmurs against my neck before snuggling me in his arms.

“You won, I take it?” I almost moan when he lightly nips my lobe.

“As if there was any question.” So cocky. Good thing he has me to keep him in line. His eyes flit to my dad before landing back on me. “Let’s take a walk, princess.”

“Where? It’s about thirty-two degrees outside. If I can see my breath, I’m out.”

“The dock.”

“It’s cold,” I whine.

“Then put on a coat.” He laughs, tapping my nose with his finger. I almost refuse, but he looks earnest.

“What about Hazel?”

“She’s a big girl. She’ll be fine for a few minutes. Besides, you’ll probably have to pry her fingers off of those babies to get her to go anywhere. She’s quite a doting cousin.”

I tear up watching Hazel in the rocker singing Cash a lullaby. “She loves kids.”

“I know,” he whispers, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. “I intend to give her lots of them to babysit, so we’d best get started on that. I’m not getting any younger, you know.”

I tilt my head back and latch on to the most breathtaking eyes I’m sure were ever made. The love floating in them is tangible. It touches me everywhere.

Kissing the tip of my nose, he grabs my hand and pulls me toward the door, yelling that we’ll be back in a bit. I try to catch Zel’s attention to make sure she’s heard but see her grinning at Connelly, a secret passing between them. They seem to have a lot of those these days.

Hazel and I have been on our own so long, I thought it would be an adjustment to have Connelly in our house and lives twenty-four seven. It’s not. Other than experiencing the occasional cold, wet ass from falling into the toilet when the seat’s left up, it’s been relatively smooth sailing.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I also thought it may be an even bigger adjustment to have her affections split between the two of us. But just as a parent has the capacity to infinitely love all their children, so do kids. I’ve seen Hazel grow and blossom in ways I’ve never dreamed of. The way you only can when you have a father or father figure.

Bundled in our winter jackets, Connelly takes my ungloved hand in his and we head around the left side of the house, down the dull, now hibernating grass. Dry blades crunch under our feet with each step. The air is crisp, a few flakes already floating aimlessly from the overcast sky. I see my breath with each exhale and the cold burns my cheeks already.

Nearly a foot of snow is forecast by morning. Zel is already planning an epic snowman-building competition tomorrow with her aunts and uncles, all of whom are on board. Guys against girls, of course. Looks like she inherited the competitive gene from the Colloways, too. She’s in absolute heaven with her newfound family. I pinch myself often to be sure I’m not dreaming.

A few short minutes later, we’re standing at the end of the Colloway dock, hand in hand, gazing out on the peaceful, glass-top lake. The view is simply breathtaking even in the chill of winter. Oak, maple, and ash trees have shed most of their leaves, but full, lush evergreens and pines add color to the picturesque landscape.

“Do you know when I fell in love with you, Nora?”

I gaze at his profile as he stares out into the majestic scenery before us. It’s sometimes hard to believe this beautiful man is mine.

“No.”

“It was the week after you’d started at DH. I was building up my nerve to talk to you…”

“You? Building up nerve? Now that I don’t believe. You were awfully cocky when you slid next to me in the lunchroom that day like you already owned me.”

He looks at me then and the fierceness in his hazels makes me choke on my laugh. “It’s true. I may have covered my nerves with bravado, but it made my stomach clench every time I thought about approaching you. I was utterly smitten from the first time my eyes landed on you, Nora. I knew you belonged to me, but I couldn’t understand how or why I felt that way.”

“Oh,” I whisper softly.

“You were walking down the hall between classes and I could tell you were late and flustered. Mary Hartfield, that jealous cow, stuck her foot in your way, tripping you. Your books and papers went flying, but you managed to catch yourself pretty cleanly on your hands. I thought to myself, this is divine intervention. Now, I’ll have a reason to talk to this bewitching creature without sounding like I’m coming on to her. I was almost to you, but Ronnie Pulman beat me to it, that bastard.”

A slight smile tilts my mouth. I remember the incident, and I remember thinking that the fact my face nearly made BFFs with the hard linoleum floor was no accident.

Connelly wraps me in his embrace once again before continuing. “I stood not ten feet away and watched you gift him with the most magnificent smile I’d ever seen. I had never been jealous over a girl before, Nora. I knew if I had these unfamiliar feelings of wanting Pulman’s blood on my hands for just pulling a simple smile from you that I was doomed. And I didn’t give a shit, either.
That’s
when I felt it. You handled yourself with such grace and poise and confidence and I instantly, instinctively knew I wanted those traits in the woman I would marry, even though I’d never given that a single thought before.”

My eyes promptly water. “Connelly…”

He runs his hands gently from the crown of my head down before stopping at my cheeks. My icy hair is pressed against my ears and face.

“You were my first, Nora. In everything. My first love, my first lover, my first heartbreak.”

“Your first lover?” I ask, my brows pinching together.

“Yes,” he replies adamantly. “I should have told you back then, but I was kind of embarrassed. I wanted it to be perfect.”

“It was,” I murmur, overjoyed about the fact that I was his first just as he was mine.

“I agree.” His voice is just as soft.

“I think more important than being first, though, is being last.”

A few tears slide from the corners of my eyes while I maintain my silence, hanging on every one of his breaths.

“You were also my last love, my last heartbreak, the last woman I let into my life in any meaningful way. We’ve had so many good memories right here on this dock, Nora.” He looks around us, eyes lingering on his childhood house in the distance before engaging me again. “I want to add another one.”

Taking my shaky, numb hands in his steady ones, he steps back and swings our joined limbs slightly, making me laugh.

“Do you know why a man prostrates himself to ask the woman he loves to marry him, princess?”

My throat closes—it’s so constricted I can’t speak, so I just shake my head. The wind has picked up and is whipping my loose hair around. The white flakes in the strong gust melt on my exposed skin when they land. I no longer feel them.

“It’s because she has all the power. It’s symbolic, I think, to look
up
at the woman who owns everything he is. His heart, his thoughts, his happiness, his future. The other half of his soul.”

I bite my lip, hard, trying to hold my shit together when he bends, placing one knee on the weathered boards beneath our feet.

“
You
are the life I want, Nora. You
are
my life. Period. I want to go to sleep every night and wake up every morning with you in my arms. I want to kiss your neck when you get ready for work and hear you moan in pleasure. I want to hear you yell at me to put the toilet seat down. I want to sit on the patio and watch our kids play and fight in the backyard. I want to make a million new memories with you so that when we’re eighty and sitting on the patio watching our grandchildren play and fight in the same yard as our children, we can reminisce on the fifty amazing years we’ve had together with goofy smiles on our faces.”

I think I shed a new tear for each romantic and heartfelt word he pours out.

“I want to be your husband, Nora. God, I want that more than anything. You own me completely and thoroughly until the day I die, but
I
can only be complete when I’m yours. I love you so much. Marry me, princess.” Choked full of emotion his eyes glisten in the cold winter air. He’s one step away from breaking down, just like me.

Connelly stuffs his hand in his pocket. My watery gaze drops when he pulls out a very stunning and very large step-cut ruby, platinum, art deco engagement ring. I immediately recognize the repurposed jewel in the filigree castle setting, now surrounded by dozens of tiny round diamonds.

It was my mother’s.

She wore it on her right hand for as long as I could remember. I coveted that ring. I studied it endlessly as a child, each unique facet. And whenever I would ask where she got it, she would only tell me it came from someone special.

She’d willed it to Carl when she passed away.

Click
. Another piece of my life soundly falls into place.

The cold dissipates, leaving me warm and fuzzy. Falling to my knees on the hard wood, I pull his lips to mine, whispering, “Yes, yes, yes.”

“Babe,” he mutters between ravenous kisses, “let me put this on you before I drop it between the slats and the lake sucks it up.” He takes my left hand, sliding the cold metal onto my ring finger. Where it will forever stay.

“I wanted to give you something as unique and spirited as you are, but I also wanted it to mean something. I hope you don’t mind…”

“I don’t. It’s perfect, Connelly. Thank you for doing this for me.”

His smile is sheepish. “It was partly Carl’s idea. When I asked him if he had anything I could use, he selflessly offered this up and being the bastard that I am, I took it.”

“I think I was always meant to have this. Just not until my mom felt it was right.” I wince, the hard surface biting into my kneecaps.

“Come on.” Connelly helps me up. He sneaks a hand underneath my coat, placing it on my stomach. “I want you swollen with my baby,” he says, his voice husky.

“You do, huh?” An involuntary shiver racks me. Connelly holds me closer.