Destiny (Absent Shadows Trilogy Book 1) (22 page)

The way he said ‘training’ was odd. Of course they were brushing up on their fighting skills. It made sense.

‘Okay, sure,’ I said, trying to sound casual even though my heart was racing.

‘And how was work? Was Michael there? Did he seem okay?’ asked Sam, his voice tight and anything but calm.

‘Yeah, he was there. He seemed fine—no different than always.’

‘That’s good.’

There was definitely something bothering him. He wasn’t one for making small talk, and he was lousy at it.

‘Can I do anything? I mean … to help, you know?’

Sam stopped, and turned to face me, looking me squarely in the eyes—only this time, there was nothing calm in the way he looked at me.

‘You should stop seeing me. In fact, you should book a flight back to California, and get out of here before this goes any further.’

My worst fears had come true. He didn’t want me around anymore. I swallowed hard, my head spinning. Then a hopeful thought surfaced … was he just trying to protect me from whatever might happen tomorrow?

‘What are you saying? I’m not leaving, not yet anyway. We haven’t … talked about … this,’ I stammered—not prepared for this particular conversation. ‘I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m not leaving early. If you don’t want to see me anymore, just say that … is that what you mean?’

He hesitated before answering, and I found it hard to keep breathing as I waited for his response.

‘Our relationship … you know it can’t end well, don’t you? I’ll never age. This is it for me, assuming that I don’t get destroyed tomorrow that is. But you, well, you’ll mature into a beautiful woman, more beautiful every year. At first our age difference may not matter, but eventually you’ll tire of me.’

‘Sam, what’s brought this on all of a sudden? I know you’re worried about tomorrow, so please, let’s talk about this another time, when you’re more relaxed—when we can both think clearly.’

‘I am thinking clearly; more clearly than I’ve done for quite some time in actual fact.’ He sighed heavily. ‘Look, Lili, I’ve seen it all before. I’ve seen it happen with Tom, over and over again. Girls are attracted to his roguish charm and good looks. But then they grow up, as humans always do, and his charm wears off. They evolve, he doesn’t. It will be the same for us. You’ll tire of me, sooner or later, and you won’t want to be with me.’

‘Me? Not want to be with you?’ I couldn’t believe he’d even think that.

‘Yes. You’ll grow up. For now, there’s this romantic notion of being in love with a vampire, but it won’t last.’

‘Sam, I started falling for you well before I knew you were a vampire. My attraction to you had nothing to do with that.’

‘Is that what you think? I don’t. The attraction was because of what I am, whether you knew it for what it was or not.’

‘No, Sam, that isn’t true … it can’t be true …’ but as soon as I said the words I doubted them. The attraction had confused me. The logical side of me hadn’t wanted to get involved with anyone—let alone someone that didn’t ‘mix well’ with people.

‘You know I’m telling the truth, don’t you?’

‘Well, maybe at first. I mean … I don’t know. But my feelings for you now, they’re based on who you are, not what you are. Please, don’t ever doubt that.’

He looked at me with such sadness in his eyes that it nearly broke my heart. ‘I don’t know if we can ever be sure of that.’

‘Well, I’m sure of it. I know that I’ll grow old, and you won’t. And it will hurt, one day, when we have to part. But that doesn’t have to be now.’

‘Lili, I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Not before I was changed, and definitely not since. I can’t imagine existing without you. But you, you’re so beautiful, and vibrant, and … you need to meet someone who can give you all the things you deserve in life. You’re going to want children and grandchildren. And you’ll want someone who will grow old gracefully with you, who will smile and take your hand as you gaze at your grandchildren playing in a park. You deserve all those things and so very much more. You deserve someone that I can never be, not even for you.’

The pain on his face nearly broke my heart. I struggled to find words that would make him happy again.

‘Sam, none of that means anything … if it can’t be you, I don’t want it. Please don’t worry. We’ll work something out—there has to be a way. I won’t be the one leaving you. I’ll grow old, whether gracefully or not, but I won’t leave you.’

‘You may think that … now … but you don’t understand. You’ve never really come to grips with what I am.’

‘I know exactly what you are, Sam. You are the most wonderful, thoughtful, caring, protective, not to mention attractive, man that I’ve ever met. I couldn’t ask for anyone better than you. He wouldn’t exist.’

‘You don’t understand,’ he said, his voice trailing off. He looked out over the water for what seemed ages, then finally turned to me and spoke quickly. ‘Lili, I’ve killed humans today—with Tom.’

I looked at him, and I tried to keep my face calm, but I’m sure my eyes widened a little. It was just so unexpected, that was all.

‘They were bad men. Tom had been following them for a few days. They were selling drugs to school children. I’m not sorry. They will not be missed by society. But Lili, they were humans, and I drank their blood.’

‘I see.’ I was taken off guard, but I wasn’t angry, or afraid. ‘It’s okay, really.’

‘No, it isn’t okay. You must hate me now. And there is nothing I can do about it.’

‘Sam, I could never hate you. I love you. Nothing can change that. Not now. Not ever.’

He gathered me up in his arms, and held me tight, and it felt as if he were afraid the wind would carry me away if he let go.

‘I love you too, and I don’t ever want to lose you. I’m sorry about today. Tom says it will sharpen my senses, and make me stronger for the fight tomorrow, should it come to that.’

‘If it makes you stronger, then I’m not sorry. I’m glad you’ve done it. I want you as strong and quick witted as possible. I want you to come to me tomorrow night, when it’s all over, and tell me again that you love me.’

‘I will tell you I love you every day, until the day you die, or the day you ask me to stop—whichever comes first.’

The relief I felt was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. My worst fears hadn’t eventuated, but instead, Sam had sworn his own love for me. Sam loved me. That was all that mattered.

He released me, and we walked hand in hand back to the apartment. It was nearly seven now. If all went to plan, in twenty-four hours, he’d be waiting by his tree. And I’d be waiting too … pacing no doubt, waiting for him to come back to me.

~ C
HAPTER
E
IGHTEEN
~

Someone had messed up the bookings so we had an additional school group in, which meant lots of extra kids. But I didn’t mind. It meant the day went quickly and left little time for me to worry about Sam and his … issues. Even when the kids left, the mess that had to be cleaned up was way more than normal. Before I knew it, it was five o’clock and when I headed to the front door Sam was already standing there.

‘How’s your day been?’ he asked. His voice was calm, and I could only think that he was trying to make everything seem ordinary.

‘Busy, thank goodness—the time went quickly. So, have you heard? Is everything set for tonight?’

‘Yes, exactly as we’d hoped. Tom and I have spent the day preparing and we’re as ready as we can be.’

‘Do you want me to take a taxi home? I don’t mind.’

‘No—walking you home will be a nice distraction. Are you ready?’

I picked up my backpack, and threw the straps over my shoulder. ‘Ready,’ I replied.

He took my hand, and we walked in silence as we headed toward the Docklands. Everything looked more vivid than normal, but it may have been because of the massive amounts of adrenaline coursing through my system.

When we arrived in front of the building, we stood at the front doors, and tonight I didn’t care who saw us. I stood on my tiptoes and leaned in to kiss him. His arms squeezed around me tightly. There was more urgency in this kiss than normal and I thought we might both be fearful it could be our last.

He gazed into my eyes, and I felt the tension ease. Perhaps Sam’s skills were not as powerful as Zunios’, but he certainly had the ability to make me relax.

I suddenly had this image of a maiden sending her warrior off to battle, taking her handkerchief and tying it to his shield. I didn’t have a handkerchief, and Sam didn’t have a shield, but I was wearing the locket that my father had given me for my tenth birthday. I took it off, and put it in Sam’s hand, closing his fingers around it.

‘For good luck,’ I said.

He opened his hand, and looked at the simple gold locket. It was heart-shaped, and inside was a picture of my mother on one side, and my father on the other.

‘I’ll bring it back to you tonight. I should be here by nine, maybe ten; earlier if we’re lucky,’ he said, slipping the locket into the top pocket of his shirt.

He kissed me once more, then pushed the hair away from my eyes and stared deeply into them. ‘Don’t worry. Everything will be fine. Trust me.’

Then he opened the foyer door for me and I entered alone. I walked over and pushed the button for the lift, but when I turned to wave to him he had already disappeared.

I was grateful when I walked into the apartment and found it empty. I thought about how lucky I was that they went out a lot. I wouldn’t have wanted to explain my anxiousness to Debs and Ian. I filled a glass with water, and sat down at the kitchen table to wait.

Time seemed to have slowed to a crawl. Every time I looked at the clock on the oven it seemed to say the same thing. It was five-forty-five. I had several hours to wait before I could expect him to return. My heart pounded … my breath was shallow. I’d never been so anxious … ever.

When my phone rang I nearly jumped off the chair. Claire’s name popped up on the screen.

‘Hi Claire,’ I answered.

‘G’day,’ she laughed. ‘How’s things?’

‘You know, okay. But what about you? No side effects from that tainted drink the other night I hope?’ I was grateful for the distraction, even if it might just be for a few minutes.

‘No, I’m fine. Just feeling a bit stupid, really … I mean, he really was being nice … and it was just going to be dinner. But I’ll pay more attention next time. If there is a next time, that is.’

‘You know there will be. There will
always
be a next time,’ I replied.

‘Hmmm… well, not if my Mum has anything to do with it.’

‘What do you mean? Did you get in trouble? Did she suspect something was wrong?’

‘No, it’s not that. It’s just that she’s tired of me working at what she refers to as a dead-end job. She wants me to go to uni.’

‘Oh, is that all? It’s not that bad … I mean, you’ll still have a life and all.’

‘Yeah, but where? She secretly applied for me to go to UCLA. She wants me to live with my Dad for a while. I bet she paid a lot of money for this … you know, to get rid of me.’

‘Oh, don’t say that. You know she just wants the best for you. She’s probably just afraid you’ll grow into a fat old secretary if you stay there too long. But I thought your Dad lived in the Bay Area? Has he moved to LA now?’

‘Nah, but he has an apartment in LA. He goes back and forth between there and San Francisco. I don’t want to go to UCLA. I don’t have any friends in LA. And even though I know you’ll be in California, it’s not like I’ll be able to see you every weekend. And well, Tom isn’t likely to wait for me, is he?’

So, that was the real problem—Tom. She didn’t want to leave him. I knew the feeling … boy, did I ever.

‘Claire … listen … Tom may wait for you, but even if he doesn’t, LA is full of men just like Tom who will fall over themselves to get your attention. With your looks, and your gorgeous accent, you’ll have to keep a separate calendar to keep track of all your dates.’

That seemed to work. Her voice lifted a bit.

‘Do you think so? I mean, do you think he might wait for me to come back?’

‘This asks the girl who nearly got herself date raped by a total stranger in a bar …’ I said, laughing.

‘You know that was perfectly innocent. You were with me. It was just going to be dinner.’

‘Yeah, yeah, of course I know that,’ I laughed. ‘As for Tom … well … he does seem pretty hot on you. There’s a good chance he’ll wait. But seriously, do you want to wait for him?’

‘Yes, I do. He’s not like anyone I’ve ever met. I mean, I know I flirt a lot, but I’ve never known anyone like him. There really is something there. He’s the one for me, Lili. I just know it.’

It was so hard to keep from saying anything—from telling her the truth. Sam’s words haunted me … about how girls fell in love with Tom all the time, but then grew tired of him because they grew up and he didn’t. Maybe Claire was his best chance for a longer relationship. After all, I couldn’t see her growing up. Not in a hurry anyway.

‘You know, you don’t have to go. It’s not like you’re some little kid that your parents can ship off to boarding school. You can always move out—support yourself. You could even try to get a better job.’

‘True … but I don’t want to do it that hard, you know. I’m used to all the money … the idea of paying rent, and living hand to mouth … well, it’s not something that I even want to think about.’

‘Okay, I get it … but if you want their money, you have to do things their way. So … not to change the subject, but did you ever hear from Tom about going back up to The Grampians?’

Her voice was flat when she replied. ‘No, not yet. I haven’t spoken to him for a couple of days. I guess he’s been busy. He hasn’t called.’

‘Oh, yeah, well he and Sam did have something on last night I think … or maybe it was tonight. I know they’ve been busy with something—some sort of training or something.’

I wished I could tell her why Tom was preoccupied … but of course I couldn’t.

‘Yeah, I figured it was something like that. But … you don’t think Sam would have said anything about the other night … do you?’

‘No, Sam wouldn’t have said anything.’

‘Good. I mean … I hope that isn’t why he hasn’t called.’