Destiny's Wish (3 page)

The minutes ticked by as Brian waited for Nora’s answer with his heart in his throat. Insanity could be the only explanation for his offer. Sure, Jim and Nora had opened up their place to him whenever he was traveling through, but inviting her and Destiny to live with him was different. This wasn’t just for a visit with an end date in sight, this was an open invitation to his home. The one place he might not spend much time at but had always been his sanctuary from the stresses of his work.

Even knowing his privacy was going to be disturbed didn’t worry him. If he was honest with himself, he might even admit he could use the change, the distraction, and the company. He had been alone for so long, the idea of having someone around was exciting and a little nerve-racking.

“Destiny could really be discharged tomorrow?”

He nodded. “The pre-testing would be done in the morning and then she could go…as long as you have a place to stay. You don’t have many options. It’s either my place or you try to find somewhere tomorrow, but then you’d have to deal with the utilities and move in.”

“You have the room.” She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I mean…it would only be for a couple of days while I find a place. With Destiny out of here, I can take her with me when we look around.”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t have the room. The house has six bedrooms, so there’s plenty of rooms for you and Destiny to choose from.”

“Six.” Her voice was hitched up a notched in shock.

“I was young and stupid when I bought the house.” He smirked. “I thought one day I’d have a family of my own to make the house a true home and all the rooms would be filled. That and I wanted the entertaining space. I still host a Christmas party there every year.”

“Jim always said you would settle down and have a dozen kids. That you’d have the all-American family everyone envied.” The smile she gave him didn’t quite meet her eyes.

“I’m really sorry about Jim.” He was sorrier than she knew, for the last conversation with Jim was one he’d never be able to shake. There was no re-do, or even a chance to make up for the statements that had been said now that Jim was dead. “What do you say, will you take me up on my offer?”

She took a deep breath and nodded. “I feel like I’m imposing, but there’s very little I wouldn’t do to get Destiny out of here. If you’re sure you don’t mind, then yes. We’ll start looking and hopefully will find somewhere by the week’s end.”

“Honest, there’s no rush. You should focus on your daughter, do something that will help you both forget what Monday brings. There’s nothing you can do yet and worrying about what the treatments are going to be like will only make you sick.” He stepped away from the counter and walked toward her. “Actually, I’m off on Friday, so how about we make use of the pool and then I’ll throw something on the grill?”

“Destiny loves to swim but I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. It’s February, two weeks before Valentine’s Day. It’s freezing. How could we possibly do that?”

“It’s an indoor pool. Heated, and she won’t even have to go outside.” He laid his hand over hers. “I’m a doctor, after all. I wouldn’t recommend anyone swimming outdoors at this time of year.”

She let out a light chuckle and her shoulder brushed against his. “I didn’t think it was outdoors. I figured you were referring to a public indoor pool and I didn’t think it was a good idea for her to have to be outside after swimming, even if it was just to the car.” She paused, her whole body going still. “Wait, you have an indoor pool? This house of yours must be a mansion.”

“Not a mansion, but let’s say it has all the comforts one could want.” His house was one thing he was proud of. It was a gem hidden just outside the city, with enough land to give him a peaceful surrounding, yet still close enough to the hospital and downtown. When he sat outside, there wasn’t any city noise. Just birds chirping, and occasionally he’d catch deer grazing where the lawn merged into the trees on the back half of his property. Peace, that’s what he had there.

“Well, I’m looking forward to seeing it.”

“If you want to give me the key to your room, I can retrieve your belongings and have them at the house waiting for you.”

“There’s no need. There’s not much and I’ll have to go to the motel and check out anyway.” She tipped her head toward him. “I sold or donated most of our belongings. We only brought what would fit into the car, so once I find a place if it’s not furnished, I’ll have to purchase all the household supplies and furniture again. It just seemed easier since I thought I’d be at the hospital most of the time.”

“You did what was necessary to get her the help she needs. Don’t worry about the small things.
”
He squeezed her hand. “She’s sleeping now, so why don’t we go get your stuff. You can check out and won’t have to worry about doing it when she’s discharged. That way, if she’s tired, you can get her to the house, and into bed quickly. My appointments should be finished before the testing is complete, so whenever she’s discharged I can lead the way to the house and you can follow me in your car.”

She looked down the hall, toward Destiny’s room, before she finally nodded. “Okay, let me just check on her.”

“I’ll let the nurses know. They have my cell number posted on the board and I’ll tell them to call if she wakes up.” He rubbed his thumb over the top of her hand in small circles. “Everything is going to be fine. She’s going to get through this.”

“I hope so.” Her voice stayed low as if she worried that if she said it too loudly she might jinx it.

He wasn’t sure how he knew, but things were going to work out. Destiny’s cancer wasn’t as bad as some of the cases he had seen. It was nasty, but not the worst, and there was no one better than Kingsley to help cure her.

Brian would be there to help every step of the way, because he’d be damned if he’d let her care fall below the best. It was something he could do in the memory of Jim, but it wasn’t just for him, it was for Destiny and Nora too.

Twenty minutes later, Brian pulled up in front of the motel. Nora hadn’t been kidding when she said it was close to the hospital. It was within walking distance, but it was also in a rather dangerous part of town. They passed a drug deal going down at the entry and countless other illegal activities in the last two blocks. What had she been thinking when she settled here?

“Don’t start.” She shook her head at him when he shoved the car into park and glanced her way. “I know what you’re thinking. Since I’m never here, it didn’t matter that the area was questionable.”

“But when you
are
here…” He couldn’t stop himself, because he knew Jim would be irate at the very idea of his wife living in this area and putting herself at risk.

“I know, but I’m never here. I’ve rarely left the hospital. This has mostly served as somewhere to keep our stuff. It’s cheaper than a storage unit and close to the hospital. My only concern has been with Destiny. This just seemed like a necessary evil.” She moved to open the door, then stopped. “Now unless you wish to hang around in this neighborhood much longer, I suggest we grab my belongings and be on our way. I don’t want to leave Destiny long.”

He shook his head in resignation. “I won’t hear of you finding a place to live in this neighbor, so don’t even think about it.”

Once they both closed their doors, he locked the car—not that there was much use to it. If anyone wanted to break in, they’d just smash the windows. He pocketed the keys and scanned the area again. “Why don’t I begin loading the car and you go check out?”

She nodded and held out the room key. “Most everything is packed, what isn’t I’ll gather in a few minutes. It’s room three.” She nodded to one of the two doors they’d parked in front of.

He watched her walk to the office before striding toward the door. As he did, he questioned his decision not to go with her. It was his instinct to protect her, make sure that she was safe, but he also wanted to get them out of this area as quickly as possible. He turned the key and stepped inside.

The room was pretty bare, only two twin beds, a small table by the window, and a television stand pressed up against the wall. Next to the stand were three suitcases, and there were a few boxes closer to the bed. To see Nora’s life packed into those few things tore at his heart.

He remembered moving around every few years with his family, and so many things got left behind. There was only one cherished belonging he still had from his childhood—a stuffed gorilla. To some it seemed unmanly to keep a stuffed toy, but he could still remember the day his grandfather bought it for him. It had been the only sentimental thing his grandfather had ever done. So, to this day, it sat on the chair in the master bedroom, a daily reminder of why he had chosen medicine as a career.

He grabbed two of the suitcases and turned to take them out, only to find Nora standing in the doorway. “What is it? Something wrong?”

“No, you seemed lost in thought and I didn’t want to disturb you.”

He glanced around the room one last time before turning back to her. “Seeing your belongings all packed up reminded me of my childhood. My father was an Army doctor, but you already know that, moving every few years was a way of life my whole childhood and this reminded me of it. To see your life reduced to what can fit into the back of your car, reminds me of us having to trim down our belongings every move because of the weight limit of household belongings the military would transport. We couldn’t get rid of Mom’s huge box of curtains because we never knew what size windows we’d have at our next place, but toys we hadn’t played with or clothes we didn’t wear were always donated.”

“I never had to deal with a military move. Jim was killed before we got our next orders.” Her voice hitched.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think.” He sat the bags down and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“It’s been over six years. I’ve grieved for him and I’m used to being alone. Everything with Destiny…it’s just too much. For the first time, I feel so alone.”

“You’re not alone.” He pulled her closer, wrapping both arms around her. “I’m here.”

She looked up at him, her face just inches away from his, and he wanted to close the distance between them and claim her lips.

What the hell am I thinking? Whether he’s dead or not, this is Jim’s wife.

Nora looked up at him, their gazes locked, and she wondered what the heck she was doing. There she stood in the arms of her deceased husband’s best friend about to kiss him. This was wrong on so many levels. She felt his warm breath on her skin and her body urged her to lean forward. Over six years was too long to go without the comforting touch of a man; she craved it.

“We shouldn’t.” The words came out softer and with less authority than she had anticipated.

“I know.” He agreed but didn’t move away. “Just like I know I shouldn’t do this.” He caressed along her back, drawing her closer to his chest.

“Brian.”

“You’re beautiful.” He lowered his head until their foreheads were touching.

“Please.” She wasn’t sure what she was asking for. For him to please kiss her? Please stop? Nevertheless, the sensation of someone’s arms around her again was like Heaven.

He leaned back, his arms still around her but not as snuggly as before. “I apologize. This is a difficult enough time for you, you don’t need this as well.” He let his arms fall away from her and picked up the bags.

She stood there in the middle of the crummy motel room feeling more alone than ever before. She missed and longed for his touch, those soft caresses. It made her feel like she wasn’t the only one in this whole uphill battle against cancer.

She wanted to curse her body for reacting to his touch; it was a betrayal in the most intimate way. With a deep breath she grabbed a box and headed to the car. She needed to get the stuff out of the room so she could get back to the hospital. It would put distance between them at least until tomorrow. Hopefully once she was at the house, he’d be working, she’d be looking for a rental, and when they were forced together Greta and Destiny would act as a buffer. No more intimate moments.

“I can get these. Why don’t you check for anything that’s not packed?” He took the box from her and loaded it onto the back seat.

“Who do you think loaded them into the car in the first place?”

“I have no doubt you can do it. I only suggested that you didn’t have to.” He shut the car door. “You know me, I’m a true southern gentleman. I don’t like to see woman carrying heavy things. I open doors, pull out chairs, the whole nine yards.”

She remembered that about him. The sweet way he made sure others were comfortable and how he would go out of his way to help. There had always been something about Brian that made her hope he would find the right woman, because he’d make a wonderful husband and father. Why he hadn’t been snatched up years ago, she didn’t know.

The hour was late and the hospital was as peaceful as it could get. Nora sat with her legs curled up under her, next to her daughter’s bed, holding the last picture taken just hours before Jim deployed for the last time. Technically it was a picture of the three of them because she had been pregnant but hadn’t known it. The only one of its kind. Her thoughts turned to what her husband would have said if he knew she had almost kissed Brian.

“You’d have a fit.” She ran her thumb over the picture.
Only because if he was still alive I’d still be married.

Now she was alone, a widow. He wasn’t there and it was time to move on. That didn’t mean she was moving on with Brian, or any other man right now, but her body was making it clear it had demands as well. She was focused on being a mother, but she had her own needs as well. She wasn’t sure when, but eventually she’d have to embrace the woman within that she had smothered when she lost her husband.

When she decided it was time, it couldn’t be with Brian. He had been Jim’s best friend, and to her, he was off-limits. They could be friends, but she couldn’t let things go any further. Not only because of Jim, but also for the sake of her daughter.
Stay focused.

“Mommy…” Destiny rolled over onto her side.

“What is it, sweetie? Is your stomach upset again?” She set the picture back on the bedside table and leaned forward.

“Where did you go?”

“I went to get the stuff from the hotel. Tomorrow we’re going to blow this joint and then on Friday we’re going to go swimming.” She touched the back of her hand to her daughter’s forehead just to make sure there was no fever.

“Really?” Destiny pulled her teddy bear closer to her chest.

“Yep. We’re going to stay with an old friend of mine. He’s a doctor here and he has a pool in his house. Won’t it be nice to get out of here?”

“Can we have pizza then?” The little girl’s eyes glistened.

“Sure we can, anything you want.” She tucked the blanket around Destiny. “Now get some sleep.”

“Mommy, what about my sickness? Am I all better?”

“Not yet, sweetie.” It pained her to say it but she wouldn’t lie to her daughter. “Doctor Mathews is going to make you all better. One more day here while they run a few more tests and then we break free.”

“Then I’ll be all better?”

“Then next week you’ll start getting medicine to make you feel better.” She pushed the brown wavy locks away from her daughter’s face. “Sleep, sweetie. I’ll be right here.”

With Destiny settled back down, her eyes fluttering shut again, Nora leaned back in the chair and tried to swallow the fears that were once again rising within her. She knew what she had told her daughter made it sound easier than it actually was, but when explaining it to a child she had to keep it simple. There was no need to tell her all the rough spots that might be ahead. Since Destiny couldn’t remember how bad it was the last time, she needed to keep it upbeat. It was all part of motherhood for her to keep her worries and fears to herself. Plus, she was worried enough for the both of them.

She tried to calm herself with the thought that Doctor Mathews and Brian were both confident this treatment would work. Right now she had to put her faith in them. They had the medical knowledge to know the best course of action and it was up to her to trust them. She knew Brian; it might have been years since they had last talked, but he wouldn’t tell her to do the experimental treatment if he wasn’t confident it would work.

“Mrs. Horton.” A nurse popped her head around the corner. “I wanted to let you know that Destiny’s only allowed water until after the blood work is drawn.”

“When will that be?”

“Should be around seven this morning since it has to be an eight hour fast. She’ll get a later breakfast.” The nurse turned to look down the hallway at someone stepping off the elevator before turning back to Nora. “If you need anything, just let me know. Otherwise, Doctor Mathews’s orders are to let her sleep through the night. He wants her well rested for the exam tomorrow.”

“Why?” Normally the nurses were in and out throughout the night, checking vitals, so to leave them undisturbed was unusual.

“I wouldn’t be the right one to answer that. I’m normally in the emergency room, but they’re short staffed so I’ve been rotated up. I can get one of the usual floor nurses to stop by and let you know.”

Nora shook her head. “It’s not important. A good night sleep for both of us sounds good to me.”

“Okay. Would you like me to shut the door so the noise from the hall won’t disturb you?”

“That would be nice. Thank you.”

The very idea of sleeping without someone popping in and out all night sounded amazing, but what was even better was the knowledge that the next night she’d be in a comfortable bed. No more hospital recliner for her. Pure Heaven, even if that meant it would be in the same house with a man her body longed for but couldn’t have—Brian.