Destiny's Wish (5 page)

Then again, maybe helping out could decrease her worry. She doubted it, because late at night when the world was sleeping she was always awake worrying. It had been her trademark when her husband was deployed, and it carried over with Destiny. Every ounce of her was a worrier, and that wasn’t likely to change anytime soon.

The rest of the day had gone by in a flash and smoother than Nora thought it would. Destiny had quickly settled into Brian’s house and gave her no problems at bedtime. Her little girl was excited to be able to sleep in a real bed again by herself and not have her mother sitting in a chair by her bedside all night.

Nora wasn’t sure what to do with herself. It was too early to go to bed. What they needed for the next few days while she was looking for an apartment had already been unpacked, so she felt lost and uneasy. She wandered around the house, unable to sit still.

“Nora,” Brian called out as she strolled past his office. He had gone there earlier to check on an email while she put Destiny to bed.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I was only—”

“Wearing a line in the hardwood floor?” he supplied with a smirk. “Come in here and tell me what’s got you on edge. Was it something I’ve done?”

She stepped into the doorway of his office, but didn’t enter. “How could it be you? You’ve been nothing but wonderful and generous.”

“Then why don’t you tell me what has you pacing the house? Are you worried about Monday?”

“How can I not be? Any parent would be.” She wrapped her arms around her middle, holding herself so she didn’t fall apart again. “I’m sorry I’m so emotional. One minute I think everything is going to work out, but then the next I question things again. I’m just a mess right now.”

“Which is why I came in here to check for this email.” He rose from behind the desk and came toward her. “I got someone to cover my rounds at the hospital and any emergencies that might arise. That means I’m off until Monday and I was thinking we should go away for a few days. My parents have a cabin a little over an hour from here, it’s in the middle of nowhere. We could let Destiny swim in the morning and then after lunch we could slip out of town for a few days and forget about next week. It’s high in the mountains, so I’m sure there’s still snow on the ground.”

“I’m supposed to be looking for an apartment.”

“You can do it when we get back. A weekend out of the city is just what you need. We’ll take some board games and movies to keep us entertained. I think a trip like this is just what we all need. We can give her a few days of normal.”

“What happens if something goes wrong? If she gets sick?” Anxiety sparked within her.

“Hmm.” He rubbed his jaw. “I guess if you had a doctor with you, that might help. Wonder where you can find one of those?”

She gave him a light slap on his arm. “Being a smart ass never suited you very well.”

“I’m being serious. You should have a doctor with you for Destiny’s sake, after all, anything could happen. Give me a minute and I’ll think of something.” His eyes twinkled with amusement.

“Okay, so I wasn’t thinking and I’m being an overprotective mother. What do you want from me?”

He took hold of her hand and pulled her against him. “You’re not overdoing it, you’re just being a good mother. I’ll be there, and if anything changes in her condition we’ll come back straight away. I think you need this break as much as she does, so what do you say?”

She nodded. “Okay, but what about Greta? She asked Destiny to help her bake cookies tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about Greta, she’s not going to let us slip out of here without her. She loves going to the cabin and there’s plenty of room there for all of us. My parents added on to the old cabin a few years ago expecting it would be somewhere we could all gather, with grandbabies running around.”

“Do you go a lot?”

“Not as much as any of us would like. With our schedules, it’s hard for us to get away. Three of us gone from the hospital at the same time and everything.”

“Three?” She leaned back out of his embrace to look up at him.

“I believe I told you that Jason is a pediatric surgeon and Elizabeth is a grief counselor at the hospital, so they both have active careers. They also adopted a beautiful little girl, Faith, and she’s about to turn a year old on Valentine’s Day. My parents’ first grandbaby, and boy do they spoil her rotten already.”

“As her uncle, are you saying you don’t have anything to do with that?” She smirked. “The first child born into a family is one everyone dotes on. I’ve seen how you are with Destiny. I have no doubt you’re guilty of spoiling Faith.”

“Never.” He tried to hide a smile but failed miserably. “I’m a doctor, I know how disastrous it can be to spoil a child. I would have no part in making my niece a brat.”

“Not all spoiled children are brats. Look at Destiny, I do my best to spoil her, to make up for what she doesn’t have, and what she’s gone through. She’s not a brat, or at least I hope others don’t think she is.”

He rubbed small circles along her back. “She’s a great kid, with manners, and respect. Though I’ll say she acts older than she is, but that’s because of all she’s been through. She needs this break as much as you do. Let her be a kid again. We can eat popcorn, watch movies, do all the things she loves to do. Whatever that is.”

“It doesn’t sound like much fun for you,” she reasoned, as she toyed with the button on his dress shirt.

“It will be because I’ll be with you and Destiny. What do you say?”

“Let’s do it.” She gave in to the temptation to get away and give her daughter some normalcy. “We can leave after lunch and Destiny can take her nap in the car. Since she’s been sick she’s been sleeping a lot more. Afternoon naps are a must.”

“We can wait until she wakes up.”

“No, it’s fine, she sleeps during car rides anyway. We don’t want her to get two naps in, one before we leave and another one in the car, otherwise I’ll have problems getting her to sleep at bedtime.” She let her fingers move toward the edge of his shirt, where it opened up to his skin. “After all, grown-ups need time to themselves, too.”

“That they do.” He brought his hands down to rest on her hips. “Come sit.”

“Something wrong?”

“No.” He kept his arm around her waist and directed her toward the small sofa in his office. “It’s been years since we’ve seen each other, I thought maybe we could catch up. Six years is too long.”

“There’s not much to catch up on. Being a single mother, my life has revolved around Destiny. There’s not much time for anything else.”

“You’ve had to be doing something all these years.” He pulled her down onto the sofa next to him and placed his arm around her shoulders, holding her tight. “What about work?”

“Jim and the military made sure that if something happened I’d be financially secure but for the last three years I’ve been a virtual assistant for a marketing firm, mostly writing press releases, following up on details for events, little things like that. It allowed me to be home with Destiny.”

“Why did you quit?”

She leaned into his embrace, resting her head against his shoulder. “My boss didn’t give me much of a choice. She needed someone to attend an upcoming event and I couldn’t, not with Destiny’s health. I hated to hand in my resignation but my daughter had to come first. I met a lot of people through that job who will be friends for a lifetime.”

“I’m sorry things ended like that. You mentioned to Chelsea about helping with Hope’s Toy Chest. Have you considered you could be just what she’s looking for? Your marketing experience could be an advantage to bringing in more donations. She’s always wanted to take Hope’s Toy Chest to the next level, doing new things, bigger events. You could help her with that.”

“Destiny…” She shook her head, but he cut her off before she could finish.

“Destiny is sick and sitting around worrying about it won’t help her. Kingsley will be doing everything he can, all of us will. You need something for you, and I’m sure Chelsea will work with you so that you can be with Destiny.” He caressed her shoulder gently. “Think about it. You want to get involved, and this might be a better fit for you than just volunteering with the charity.”

“I’ll admit it might be a good fit, but the timing is wrong. Destiny needs me, she has no one else.”

“You’re wrong there.” He took her hand in his. “The two of you have me. I’m not going to let you go through this alone.”

“You’ve already done so much for us.” She placed her hand on his chest, her body curving against his. “Helping me get Destiny out of the hospital means everything to me. I’ll never be able to repay you for that.”

“No repayment is necessary.”

His hand moved down her back. Soft, yet strong enough to let her know he was there. It wasn’t a touch from just a friend, but from someone who clearly wanted more. Her stomach churned. “Brian, why are you doing this? Helping me, inviting me to stay here? Don’t tell me it’s because of Jim. He’s been dead for over six years and I’ve been doing fine without him. More to the point, look where your hand is. You’re not doing this because I’m his widow.”

She watched as his gaze traveled down to where his hand rested on her stomach, just below her breast, his thumb brushing against the underside of her chest. “I—”

“Please don’t lie to me.”

He pulled his hand away and held onto the armrest of the sofa. “It started out in Jim’s memory. Now…Nora, it’s more than that, it’s you.”

“Me?” The spark of surprise shot through that single word.

“Yes. Woman, you’re amazing. With everything that’s happening, you still have things under control. You’re focused, determined, and damn it, as much as I fight it…I want you.”

“I don’t feel like I’m in control. It seems like everything is spinning out of control and there’s nothing I can do about it.” She blinked. “What, what?
Want
me?”

“Did Jim ever tell you the story of the day we met you for the first time?” When she shook her head, he continued. “You were sitting at that café, your girly coffee off to the side as you worked on your laptop. Your hair was in a messy bun and that pale pink sweater fell off your shoulder, just enough to give a glimpse of the creamy skin hidden beneath. You were beautiful and I was going to ask you out, but he beat me to the punch. All these years, that has been my biggest regret. The only consolation I had was that the two of you were perfect together. You accepted him and his career, keeping the home front covered while he was overseas. There were times when I could see the loneliness in your eyes, but he’d never listen.”

She remembered that loneliness and the sleepless nights. Sometimes it was so bad she thought her heart would break from the need to see him, to touch him. Every time she’d put enough distance between her heart and her husband so she could deal with the separation, he’d return only to leave again. Being a military spouse made her stronger, but it also made her lose a part of herself.

“The loneliness was rough, but I’d have done it a hundred times over to be with the man I fell in love with. It got worse when he changed. It seemed like every time he’d leave again, he’d come back and there was more distance between us. No matter how hard I worked, he wouldn’t bridge the gap.He kept his walls firmly in place.”

“Maybe he did that to protect you.” He ran his hand down the length of her arm. “War changes people, as you’ve seen. He might have kept the barriers up so you wouldn’t see the worst in him. After he started deploying, even I saw the changes in him. His temper was always boiling just below the surface. It’s possible the walls were to protect you from that. Not because he didn’t love you and still wanted you the same way he did when he married you.”

“It’s not that uncommon,” she acknowledged. “Other spouses went through it as well, but most of them worked through it. Jim and I never got that chance. He volunteered for that deployment. I begged him not to. I knew his head wasn’t in the right place.”

She shook her head, unable to say that because he hadn’t listened he had been killed. She tried not to wonder how things would have been if he hadn’t volunteered for that deployment.

Would they still be married? At least then Destiny would have a father. More than anything, it was Destiny who was missing out.

In all the years Brian had lived in the house, he couldn’t recall a time he actually enjoyed the pool as much as he did with Destiny around. Before, it had been a place to do his morning laps, constant upkeep for little reward. Now, as he tossed Destiny across the pool, he was glad he didn’t give in to the temptation to close it up. Her giggles bounced off the walls and echoed throughout the closed space.

“Throw me again.” She swam toward him.

“Okay, but this is the last time. Remember we promised your mom we’d be out before she came back with your lunch.” He hooked his hands under her arms and hauled her out of the water.

“Mommy’s a spoil sport.” She complained as she got into position to launch herself from him.

“We’ll swim again after we get back from the cabin,” he told her, hoping he wasn’t make a promise he wouldn’t be able to keep. “Ready?” When she nodded, he lifted her higher and threw her across the pool where she landed with a splash just as the door opened and Nora rejoined them.

“I thought you promised to have her out before I returned.” She stood at the edge of the pool, her hands on her hips as if she was mad, but the smile stretching across her face said otherwise.

“I can’t help it if she’s convincing.” He scooped Destiny out of the water and put her on his shoulders. “Your mom is complaining, we better get out.”

“Come on Mom, one more, please.”

“No.” She set the plate on the table and grabbed a towel. “Greta made you a sandwich with a little pasta salad on the side, and I want you to eat. If you’re good we’ll swim when we get back.”

He lifted her over the edge of the pool where Nora wrapped a towel around her. “Remember, we’re going to have lots of fun at the cabin so we need to get on the road. Go eat.”

Nora secured the towel around Destiny before she looked down at him. “Once she’s done eating,we’ll take a quick shower to wash th
e
chlorine off and then we’re ready to hit road.”

The door to the pool room opened. “Two more sandwiches,” Greta announced, setting them on the table along with drinks. “How’s lunch, sweetie?”

“Good.” Destiny took another bite.

He climbed out of the pool and slung his arm around Nora’s waist. “She loves the water. Are you sure she’s not part fish?” They had been in the pool for over three hours, the longest he had ever used it.

“She’d spend all day in there if I’d let her, and turn into a shriveled prune.” She shook her head and leaned back against him. “You’re good with her.”

“She’s a great kid. Even with all she’s going through she’s laughing and have a good time. That’s a good sign.”

“She’s going to sleep well in the car but when we get there she’s going to be ready to go again.” She tipped her head back to look up at him. “You sure you want to be locked in a cabin with her all weekend?”

“Not just her, but you and Greta. Though I have to admit I’m looking forward to being alone with you after she goes to bed.” He kissed her temple.

He wasn’t sure when it had happened, but somehow he’d let himself get drawn closer to her when what he should have been doing was keeping his distance. If he was serious about her, there was something she needed to know. She needed to know the real reason he hadn’t been in touch since a few weeks prior to Jim’s last deployment.
Tonight. I’ll tell her tonight.

The rest of the evening went smoothly, but Brian couldn’t ease the tightness in his shoulders. Even with Destiny napping the whole two hour drive, she was still sleepy, making it easy for them to camp out in front of the television and watch movies. He hadn’t been able to focus with his arm around Nora, the ball of tension in his stomach. He wasn’t sure how she’d react when he finally came clean, but it was time to clear the air. Otherwise, he’d never be able to move forward with her—which was what he wanted most.

“Brian, did you hear me?” Nora stood by the edge of the sofa, having gathered the popcorn bowls and glasses.

“What?” He blinked, pushing his thoughts away.

“I asked you if you wanted anything. Greta’s calling it a night, she’s going to do some reading in bed, but wanted to know if you needed anything before she turned in.”

“No, I’m fine.” He tapped the seat next to him. “Come join me.”

“Let me take these to her first.” She disappeared into the kitchen before he could stop her, giving him another moment to gather himself.

He rose from the sofa and paced before the fireplace. The warmth from the fire helped ease the chill settling over him. He couldn’t help but doubt his decision to tell her. The fight with Jim was in the past, it should stay there, but he couldn’t move onward unless he came clean. They needed everything to be out there in the open.

“Greta sent these.” Nora held up two glasses of red wine. “Drink, maybe that will loosen your tongue, and you can tell me what’s on your mind.”

“You’re right. I did want to talk to you.” He took the wine glass and took a sip. “I…” He let out an uneasy laugh, before shaking his head. “I give people bad news all the time, and it’s nothing like telling you this.”

“Just out with it.” She set her wine glass on the coffee table and came to stand before him. “Whatever it is, it’s best to get it out.”

“Jim…”

She placed her hand on his chest. “Do we have to talk about him tonight? He seems like a constant ghost between us.”

He laid his hand over hers, entwining their fingers. “That’s why we need to talk. See, I hadn’t been in touch for a number of weeks before Jim died and lost touch because of an argument we had when he put his name in for that deployment.”

“What?”

“I couldn’t believe Jim had volunteered for it, considering how much you needed him. I thought if I talked to him, maybe he’d see reason, but it only made things worse.” He squeezed her hand. “I tried to tell you earlier but I chickened out.”

“When?”

“When we were talking about the day we first met, and I said there were times when I could see the loneliness in your eyes but he’d never listen. Damn it, Nora, I knew you wanted him out of the Army and I tried to convince him of that. It was the biggest fight we had, and the next day he boarded that flight to Iraq. He was killed and I never got to make things right between us. He was a better man than I could ever be. He fought and died for this country, for all of us, and all I can think is he left you alone. You deserved better than that.”

“I’m not the only war widow. We all deserve to have our husbands come back to us, but some of us aren’t granted that luxury. He died to keep us safe at home. He’s a hero…but you’re right, there are times I hate him for it.” She paused, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “Could I honestly say we’d still be married if he was here? I don’t know. We were having problems when he left for that last deployment. Maybe some of them were because of the deployment, but the bigger part was that he had changed. He wasn’t the man I married. He was different, the war had altered him.”

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, as tears streamed down her face. “I know, I saw the changes, too,” he reminded her.

“I never stopped loving him, but I buried him years ago. Maybe it’s time to move on.”

He kissed the top of her head. “I was hoping you’d say something like that, but I needed you to know the real reason I had lost touch. I hated to stand by while the sadness in your eyes grew stronger and there was nothing I could do.”

“I appreciate that you tried to talk to Jim. I tried, but he wouldn’t listen. He said he needed to go and at the time I thought because he wanted to protect us back home. Now I wonder if he didn’t go because he couldn’t live with the man he’d become, the man who’d seen and did what he had to do in that war.” She laid her head against his chest. “It’s something we’ll never know.”

“No matter how it changed him, you have to know he never stopped loving you.” He gently caressed her back.

“I do, and he gave me a beautiful daughter.” She leaned back and looked up at him. “Brian, what’s happening between us? It feels like more than just rekindling a friendship.”

“I’m hoping it’s more than just friendship because what I feel for you is beyond friendly. I want you, Nora.” He lowered his head until his lips hovered just above his. “In every way imaginable and then some.”

He closed the distance and claimed her lips. The spiciness of the wine hit him with full force as he let his tongue slip between her lips and explored the contours of her mouth. He ran the tip of his tongue over the sharpness of her teeth before she returned his kiss, bringing her tongue to meet his. With one final kiss he pulled away to look down at her.

“Come to bed with me.”

She tilted her head, her long hair tickling the backs of his hands where they remained on her back. “That sounded like a bad pick-up line.”

“Not a line at all. Plus, I hope I don’t have to use bad pick-up lines. I think I already have you.”

“Oh, Brian.” She tried to pull back from him but he kept his arms around her waist. “I’m a widow, with a sick daughter, and no job. You deserve someone so much better.”

“You’re the woman I haven’t been able to get out of my thoughts for years. As for the daughter, so what? As you said, I’m good with her, and she seems to like me. Isn’t that what a single mothers wants, for her child to like the new man in her life?”

“It means everything that she likes you, but things aren’t going to be easy with her treatments and everything. This isn’t the time for you to get wrapped up in us.”

“I already am.” He cupped the side of her cheek. “I told you before I’m going to be with you through Destiny’s treatments, and we’ll get through this
together
.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” His trailed his thumb along her cheekbone. “I want to be with you and Destiny. Don’t push me away.”

“I have no intention of pushing you away, I just wanted to give you fair warning that you should be running in the opposite direction.”

“You won’t catch me running anywhere unless it’s toward the two of you.” He rested his head against her forehead. “The next few months might be trying. Destiny is going to have good and bad days, but never doubt that I’m in this with you completely. You’re not alone now.”

“Thank you.” A tear rolled down her cheek and he used his thumb to wipe it away.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” There was something about the tears that rolled down her cheeks that made him want to fight for her, fight so he’d never have to see another tear of sadness fall from her eyes again. She brought out an honor and goodness within him. He was falling in love with her.