Determination (4 page)

“I guess. This realm is just disorienting.” With leaden arms she slapped the sticky note to the fridge door at chest height. She turned to face her grandmother, who was nowhere in sight. “Where is she?” Roxie took off before waiting for an answer, heading back for her grandmother’s bedroom. Grandma exited her master bathroom and headed back to bed. Roxie knocked on her ajar door at thigh height, which got her grandmother’s attention once again. She guided her back to the fridge with methodical urgency.

Grandma sighed impatiently when she found herself facing the fridge a second time but, mercifully, she opened the door. Gasping, she let go and retreated backwards, almost falling over when she stumbled against the counter. Roxie reached out to catch her but thought better of it. Not only did her own arms feel heavy, her touch would just scare her grandmother again. The door lazily swung closed and Grandma slowly straightened up, staring at the sticky note, mouth agape.

“Please, Grandma,” Roxie whispered despite herself.

Grandma reached for the yellow square, tentatively touching it, and then she plucked it off with an adhesive-resistant rip and stared at the sloppy handwriting. Roxie knocked on the fridge three times, which galvanized her grandmother into opening the fridge. She took out a carton of whole milk, filled a tall glass, and set it on the counter. She studied the glass a moment, then picked it up and set it on the table in front of the chair nearest the porch door, the chair Roxie habitually ate in.

Roxie slipped around her grandmother and tried to pick up the glass, but it felt like it weighed ten tons. She tried dragging it to the edge of the table so she could just tip the glass and pour the milk into her mouth, but she managed maybe a tenth of an inch. The milk sloshed in a spiral without spilling over.

Grandma gasped. “Oh, Roxie.” Her voice was thick with tears. “What happened to you? Where are you?” She groped towards the glass.

Roxie found herself backing away. How could touching an invisible person be comforting? She let go of the milk and backed towards the couch. Hopefully her presence didn’t leave--

“It’s so cold.” Grandma waved her hands through the spot Roxie had just been standing. Grandma stood there a moment, unmoving, then pulled out a chair and collapsed into it. She buried her face in her hands and began sobbing, the word “no” leading each wail.

Roxie stomach sank to her feet as she neared Grandma but didn’t touch her. “Sekiro, does she...?”

“Think you’re dead? Yep.”

“Oh, god. I’ve made things worse.” She felt torn between wrapping her arms around Grandma, or just plopping on the couch and crying with her.

“Be strong. We can fix this. Do you know anyone who displayed any psychic powers?”

“I don’t think so,” Roxie said, unsure. “Not on Earth, though,” she added, remembering Maharaja from Druconica.

“It needs to be someone from Earth. Keep thinking.”

She cycled through her memories, bringing up everyone she’d come across. No one from her childhood had ever displayed extraordinary perceptive abilities, no friends, no extended family. No... “Mister rich cruise line owner. Him! I forget his name.”

“Who?”

“The part where I told you about the cruise ship and the guy who attacked us. The father of the family who shared their suite with us, he was a half-seer. At least that’s what Aerigo said.” Roxie had glossed over the family when she’d told her story. She’d skipped right to the morning Daio had tried to kill her and what happened shortly after. “Will a half-seer work?”

“I’m half sure of it,” Sekiro said. “We’ll find out when we meet up with him. What’s his name?”

For the life of her, she couldn’t recall the cruise line owner’s name. She remembered his sandy hair and light eyes, and charming smile, his adorable son and pleasant wife. None of their names came to her mind; just their personalities, their abundant kindness and love.

“I think I’ve got a lock on the person you mentioned. Brace yourself.”

Roxie’s vision streaked and disoriented her as she was plucked out of her house, passing through the roof. Before she could let the thought of passing through a solid object nauseate her, her vision sped above the city like aerial footage being fast-forwarded. Her spirit body soared southwest over the Great Lakes. Towns, cities, roads, forest, and more bodies of water whipped by underneath. The Great Plains rolled by and rose into the Rocky Mountains with a smudge of clouds topping them. She passed through the clouds, but felt no cold or moisture. Heck, there wasn’t any wind roaring in her ears. It felt more like she was standing in place while the world spun beneath her.

The sky brightened to sunset colors and the sun rose over the horizon, large and orange. Her view got blocked by a skyscraper she saw long enough to note only that its visible sides were covered in tinted windows. And then she was inside, in a meeting room with lots of people in it. Her vision cleared and stilled, and her spirit body shook from the adrenaline rush.

Perhaps a dozen men and women in expensive suits sat around an oval table, all of them listening to a man with sandy hair talking. He stood next to a laptop propped on a podium with a projector screen behind him. The current slide was of several mouthwatering dishes of food. The man talking about them was-- “Luis!” Hearing his soothing voice was all she needed to remember his name.

Luis paused midsentence and stared at Roxie like he was seeing a ghost. Roxie looked down at herself. She looked perfectly solid, like she had been at home, but she was back in her capris, girl tee, and sneakers, an outfit from back on the cruise ship.

“Why do my clothes keep changing?”

“It’s a subconscious projection of how you want to be seen.”

Again she heard Sekiro’s voice echoing next to her, but the Numina’s body was nowhere to be seen. “I want him to recognize and remember me. This outfit helps.”

“Oh, he remembers you alright.”

Luis shook his head as if to clear his thoughts, then passed glances between Roxie and the seated people, most of whom took turns looking in Roxie’s direction. None of them reacted to her sudden appearance, turning back to Luis with furrowed brows.

He glanced at his presentation, then looked at his cell phone tucked next to the laptop on the podium. “Alright, everyone, we’ve been here a couple hours. Go take a break. I’ll page you all when to come back.” He set down a small remote with a shaky hand, gave Roxie a meaningful look, and headed out the mahogany door next to the projector screen. The other suit-wearing people gave each other stunned looks, then rummaged around for their own phones and conceded Luis’s unscheduled break. Roxie slipped out the door after Luis before it could close, her footsteps soundless on the thin carpet.

They headed down a broad hallway at a brisk walk, Roxie almost a dozen steps behind him. “Wait up!”

Luis glanced back, his face serious. He brought a finger to his lips and rubbed his chin with his hand. He continued his brisk pace, greeting the few people he walked past. He knew all their names, and they his, and they spoke to him respectfully, not casually. Luis veered down a side hall and headed for the first door on the left, punched in a passcode on the number pad, then stepped in and held the door open for Roxie. She slipped inside and he gently closed the door behind her.

The office was impressive. Tons of books lined two walls to the right and left of the door. The wall opposite the door was one big window looking out over whichever city they were in, the blushing sunset making the skyline look otherworldly. Long shadows sprawled behind every skyscraper. A huge desk sat in the middle of the room, a lone iMac wreathed in clutter consisting of mostly packets of papers, foam Dunkin Donuts cups, pens, cords, notebooks, books, framed pictures, a fancy lamp, and a bottle of skin lotion.

Luis gave Roxie a studious look, then drew closer and reached out to touch her shoulder. She recoiled but, since he could clearly see and hear her, she relaxed. His fingers brushed her bare forearm, feeling so warm and comforting.

He recoiled with a startled exclamation. “You’re freezing!” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. “It’s great to see you, Roxie, but how and why are you here? You scared the heck out of me back there.”

Roxie didn’t feel cold but she wasn’t interested in arguing. She returned the hug, grateful for some contact, even though it made her think of all the hugs she and Aerigo had exchanged, and how they would never do that again. She felt the hole in her chest claw outward, trying to devour more of her heart. Her eyes stung with tears aching to be released.

Luis let go and rubbed his arms, trying to warm himself. “Wow, I just felt a huge wave of emotional pain from you. Tell me what happened.”

Roxie shook her head, unable to describe Aerigo’s death. “Luis, I need your help. I’m alive, but I somehow got into the spirit world, and now I’m stuck there until I find a way out.” She paused, considering what she just said. “That has to sound so crazy.”

Luis let out a laugh. “I grew up in a haunted house, so not really, minus how you landed yourself there. And that explains why you’re freezing to the touch.”

“Would you have any idea how I got here? There. The spirit world I mean.”

He held up his hands and shook his head. “How did you get into the meeting room?”

Roxie opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. She’d just zoomed across almost the entire mainland in seconds. Or had it been longer than that and she just couldn’t tell? “The spirit world doesn’t follow the same laws of reality of the living world. In other words, I have no idea. I’m just here. What city is this?”

“San Francisco. I have offices on both the east and west coast, but I work mainly out of this one. Take a seat.” He gestured to a lavish chair facing the front of his desk. He circled it and sat in his chair.

Having no good reason to refuse, she slipped into the chair and sank into the shiny leather cushion.

“So why exactly have you sought me out for help?”

“I tried contacting my grandmother, but she can’t see or hear me. On top of that, I can’t interact much with the living world because apparently it takes too much energy.” Guilt tore at her as she recalled her grandmother’s heart-wrenching tears. “Do you have any food?”

Luis opened a drawer to one side. “I have some Atkins bars.” He pulled out a pale yellow box with blue and red markings on it. “Oo, Anna bought me cookie dough ones this time.” He held out a wrapped bar to her.

Roxie reached for it but her hand passed right through it and stared longingly at the shiny wrapper. She felt so hungry, she was surprised that her stomach wasn’t growling nonstop.

Sekiro said, “That won’t work. He has to send it to the spirit world. Now tell him to get a pen and paper, and I’ll explain everything he needs to do.”

*     *     *

Roxie watched Grandma pick up the receiver sitting on the counter that divided the kitchen and living room. Roxie stood in the kitchen, within arm’s reach of her only family. It was the middle of the night and the house was mostly dark.

“Hello?” Grandma said in a stuffy voice.

“Hello. My name is Luis Herschel and I apologize for calling you at this hour, ma’am, but I need to talk to you about your granddaughter.”

Grandma clutched the receiver in both hands as her eyes watered with fresh tears.

“She’s alive,” Luis said soothingly. “She needs your help. I met Roxie and her friend Aerigo on one of my cruise ships. And yes, all the stories my employees reported to the media are true. Danger has been following them wherever they go.”

Grandma shuffled to the table and dropped into a chair. “How do you know she’s alive?” Her shaky voice came out with a tinge of anger.

Luis went on to describe meeting Roxie in San Francisco and their discussion that followed, including how she was stuck in the spirit world and in need of food. He also explained him being a half-seer. “Now would you mind getting a pen and paper? I need to teach you how to feed her. I’ve already sent her a bit of food, but you’re going to need to do this on a regular basis.”

Roxie had eaten the entire box of the Atkins bars before she’d sped her way back home. The original bars had never disappeared from Luis’s desk, but her body back in the spirit world was already responding to the sustenance. Still, it was far from enough.

Grandma grabbed a pencil from a holder sitting next to the phone, retrieved a spiral notepad from a kitchen drawer, and sat back at the table. “I’m ready.” She held the pencil poised over the green pad.

“I apologize this might sound strange, but Roxie assured me all of this is necessary. First off, you need to build a little altar for her. Get a bunch of pictures of her, some candles, flowers,  white sage, and some incense sticks. The incense will attract spirits, and the same goes for the candles and flowers, and the white sage will keep away negative spirits. The pictures will declare who the food is for and help Roxie claim it. It doesn’t matter how you arrange everything on the cloth so long as you leave a spot for whatever food you offer up to her, and so long as everything is in a location that will remain undisturbed. Normally, you’d place everything in front of a gravestone but, since she’s not dead, it doesn’t matter. Do you have all that so far?”

Grandma nodded as she scribbled down the lack of particular arrangement detail. “Yes. Why does she need me to feed her? I don’t understand.”