Dex (23 page)

The TV switched back on and was now showing a commercial for Presto’s Pesto.

“Naturally.” Alicia shook her head and took another handful of almonds.

As soon as the commercial ended, Dex’s New Year’s Cookin’ Eve special began.

CHAPTER
Thirty-four

Dex was sweating even though his hands felt ice cold. There was no graceful way to ruin his career, no matter how many times he tried to play out different scenarios in his head. With each disastrous flip of his spatula, Dex was slowly but surely ending his reign as the only kid ever to have a show on the Eatz network. But, he decided it was a sacrifice he needed to make for Poppy’s Kitchen and to spare his family from yet another loss. Through it all Dex hoped Poppy was watching and proud of him.

The second cameraman was focused on Preston in his clean, crisp white apron triumphantly plating a sumptuous large roast drizzled with a glistening, brown gravy surrounded by new potatos and spears of broccoli. The instant Preston placed down the pewter tray holding the savory entree, the video screen operator
displayed a close-up of it on the giant screen above both chefs that read:

KING PRESTO’S CROWN ROAST

Dex had to remind himself to smile, something he was certain he had forgotten considering this whole show was a sham. He pasted on a lifeless grin to keep up the pretense that he was in awe of Preston and no match for his kitchen mastery. Dex couldn’t help feeling annoyed as the audience applauded Preston’s dish, and he felt like a phony going through the motions of a chef when he was purposely not acting like one.

A pot of smoky barbecue sauce was simmering, and Dex made sure to let it splatter on his already stained apron as he poured it into a bowl. True to his word to Preston, Dex was a walking culinary mess. He had let an assortment of items explode onto his apron: a plastic ketchup bottle, a jar of duck sauce, a container of grape juice, a bowl of honey, and a can of black beans.

He had promised to be covered in mistakes right through dessert, which from the way he was feeling, could not come soon enough.

“To continue with our holiday feast—OWW!” Dex yelped, bumping his elbow on purpose into the bubbling sauce pot causing more splatters.

“Hey Dex,” Preston chuckled, “looks like you’ve been hitting the sauce.”

The audience broke out into wild laughter, sending shivers down Dex’s spine.

“Preston, this crown roast of yours looks fit for royalty.”

“It does. Doesn’t it!”

The audience applauded in approval.

“Now let me go to the oven,” Dex began, “to check on my Chipotle Chicken Chunks.” Dex went to the oven.

“Let me help you,” Preston insisted. “This is how it’s done.” He plated Dex’s heap of chunks onto a plain white platter.

“Thanks so much, Preston.”

“Good thing he didn’t make chicken salad,” Preston snickered. “Right everyone?”

There were small hisses from the audience as the digital screen switched to display an unappealing image of Dex’s chicken dish. The caption at the bottom of the screen read:

MMM MMM CHUNKS!

Dex again opened the oven door, which he had deliberately set too high, letting out a huge waft of smoke. He grabbed a nearby plastic cutting board still holding chopped broccoli to wave away the offending air.

The audience gasped as the little green florets went flying all over the kitchen.

“Dex, your broccoli was on that!” Preston chided.  “And even
you
can’t cook vegetables on the fly.”

As planned, the audience was rapidly falling into Preston’s trap.

Dex hoped Geema wasn’t getting too freaked out. Maybe she would blame his performance on exhaustion or nerves. She was his grandmother; she had to make excuses for a catastrophe like this.

During a segment on new kitchen gadgets, like the all-purpose collapsible plastic colander and the automatic cucumber peeler, Dex had the chance to slip into his dressing room, which for once he was actually glad to have. There was a text from Marla:

Do u have the runs? Take Pepto-Bismol…u look uncomfortable…

Awkward. His mother thought he was screwing up because he had diarrhea. Dex texted her back:

Not sick. Just tired-- I guess.

He didn’t realize she was still there, but another text appeared right away:

then y all the probs? u’ve been cooking since ur 4 and never messed up this way...ur dad thinks the pressure is getting 2 u…I think somethin’s wrong…so what is it?

Dex chuckled at Marla’s ‘texting-mom’ style, but wasn’t sure what to write back. All he knew was he couldn’t text her the truth.

Nothing’s wrong. I’m tired. Have fun. Talk later
. He reluctantly pressed ‘send.’ Yeah, that would have to do for now.

There was a knock at the door, and Dex hoped against hope it was news of a blazing fire raging in the studio kitchen, forcing everyone to leave immediately. He opened the door to no such luck.

“Hey little dude, they need you back on set,” Arby relayed, drinking a bottle of Mountain Dew. “Want some?”

“Uh, no thanks.” Dex put his phone back in his pocket. There was a new text from Marla, but he didn’t want to write back another lie.

“Can I ask you something, little dude?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Okay, like, you cook and all that, and like, you’re good at it. So, why are you like so not good at it tonight?”

Dex sighed. If even Arby, who often forgot the second slice of bread on his sandwiches, had noticed the continuous kitchen disasters, Dex knew he was doing a great job of trashing his career. But, it had to be.

“I dunno,” Dex lied. “Some days are like that.”

“Um, like this is none of my business, but like, I don’t think so. That Preston d-bag is all in your face.”

Had he underestimated Arby’s ability to reason?

“I wish I could tell you Arby,” Dex admitted. “But, I can’t.”

“Try me, little dude. I’m like good at, you know, like, keeping my mouth shut about stuff.” Arby took another swig of his Dew. “Who knows? You saved my butt. Maybe I can help you.”

CHAPTER
thirty-five

“Oh, not again. I can’t watch this anymore!” Liza cried, blocking the TV with her hand.

There was Dex at the kitchen counter on set, looking stoic in his filthy apron mixing a bowl of mashed potatoes that looked more like thin, lumpy cream-of-wheat.

“Poor bloke,” Jazz said. “This is a travesty.”

“D-sizzle gonna fizzle.” Jordy threw a jelly bean in the air and caught it in his mouth.

“This is so wrong,” Kyle said, sipping eggnog.

“My poor brother,” Alicia sighed.

They watched as Dex moved over to the range and stirred a pan of minced garlic into charred dust. Preston was standing at the nearby counter chopping parsley and smiling as if Dex wasn’t there.

“We have to help him,” Sarah said. “What’re we going to do?”

“Wait a minute,” Kyle shrieked. “What about your Uncle Ezra!?! He could probably do
something.”

“Doubtful. He’s on a safari in Africa. He won’t be back until next week.”

Alicia was only half-listening to the conversation. She was much more interested in the footage of Preston’s
REGAL RUMMY RELISH
that was now flashing on the studio screen. Then the footage shifted back to the chefs preparing their next course.

Alicia jumped up. “I have an idea! Jazz, grab the DVD. Guys, I have the Eatz network app on my phone. We can watch in the car.”

In seconds they were all out the door and piled into Alicia’s back seat. Jazz tied his sneaker and slid into the passenger’s side.

Alicia was freaking out as she kept turning the key in the ignition with no response. “It won’t start!”

“It’s old,” Jordy said. “Old don’t like cold.”

“Well right now I don’t care if my car would be happier tanning in Florida.” Alicia tried turning the ignition again. “I just need it to start.”

“Why don’t we take my car?” Jazz suggested.

“There are six of us and your car is a Beetle,” Alicia complained.

“Well none of you are all that big,” Jazz reasoned. “I think we should try it before it gets too late.”

Jazz jumped out and was ready to go before everyone had even gotten out of Alicia’s car. Alicia sat up front and watched in the mirror as everyone else piled into the minuscule back seat.

“Yo, it’s like we playin’
Twister
all over again,” Jordy said, stretching his arm over Liza’s head.

“Sorry ‘bout that, but at least it runs.” Jazz pulled out of the driveway with a start that made everyone moan. “Yeah, not used to all the weight. Hold tight. It’s going to be bumpy at best.”

Alicia took out her phone and found the live feed for Dex’s special. “Can you go any faster Jazz? It looks like they’re already up to dessert!”

“This isn’t the Batmobile, love!” Jazz fed the car a little more gas.

“ERRRRRRRRRP!” Kyle released. “Oops. That one’s gonna stink.”

“Nah uh, Kyle! You upchuck another windy and I’m’a chuck you out da car!” Jordy warned.

“Oh man, Kyle. And here I was thinking about kissing you at midnight,” Liza admitted.

“Really?” Kyle’s eyes bugged out.

“Well, you are cute and all,” Liza offered.

“I am?” Kyle asked in disbelief.

“Yo, get a room,” Jordy whined. “I’m gonna hurl.”

Jazz was stuck in traffic at a light in front of a cable company. A small group of irate employees were carrying signs claiming their boss was the spawn of Satan and chanted that customers should switch to the leading competitor. When the light changed and he could finally move again, a group of rubberneckers forced him to inch his way out of the lane.

“What’s taking so long?” Alicia groaned.

“Not the best night to be in a rush to get anywhere.” Jazz gave her hand a sympathetic squeeze.

“Anyone else feeling that bean dip?” Sarah moaned.

“Noooooo, don’t tell me you’re…” Liza cried shoving closer to Kyle.

Sarah laughed. “Just kidding. It would be nice to be there already.”

“At your service young lady.” Jazz pulled into the crowded parking lot of the Eatz building and tried unsuccessfully to find a spot. “What now, love?” Jazz asked looking at Alicia.

He called her ‘love’ at least twice and so far she had no time to live in it. Another thing on her ‘to do’ list for later.

“Um…maybe street parking?” Alicia offered.

Jazz drove around the block, but there were no free spaces.

“Take the rear,” Jordy said.

“Pardon?” Jazz asked confused.

“Go around the back of the building,” Liza translated, shifting in her seat.

“OW!” Kyle shrieked. “Liza, watch it, please!”

“Ha, she got you in da almond joys!” Jordy laughed.

Jazz drove around the back and found a spot near the dumpsters. “Good call, Liza,” he praised.

Alicia turned to the back seat. “Does everyone know what to do?”

They nodded and nearly fell out of the car when the doors cramming them in were finally opened. Sarah, Kyle, Liza, and Jordy went running ahead into the building. Jazz pulled Alicia back before they got to the door.

“I know it’s not great timing, but I don’t want to forget,” he started. “This isn’t exactly the way I figured on spending tonight, but…” Jazz reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small black box. “I wanted to end this year and start the next one with you.”

Alicia’s hands trembled as she took the box and opened it. It was an open gold heart with a diamond chip hanging on a gold chain.

“Oh wow, Jazz…”

Just as their lips met, they heard Dex’s studio audience applaud from inside.

#

“What are all of you doing here?” said a very tall, lanky security guard. A small TV built into the side of the front desk was tuned to Dex’s special.

“We’re here to catch the end of the show and surprise my brother,” Alicia said, pointing to the TV. “I’m Dex’s sister, Alicia Rossi.”

“I wouldn’t brag about that right now,” the security guard warned, his voice deep and raspy. He looked back up at the TV screen to see Dex dropping more cookie batter on the counter than on the baking sheets. “Poor kid’s just choked. Been going on all night.”

They all hovered around the TV to watch.

Dex carries a pan over to the counter and gets a kitchen lighter from a drawer. “One quick flick of my mini-torch,” he says, flicking the control, “and this will be...”  He hesitates, still flicking the switch. Nothing happens. “Hmm. It’s, uh, broken,” he concludes.

In a flash, Preston walks over and grabs the lighter from Dex. “Did you mean to
do this?” Preston corrects him, dramatically flicking the lighter on, then sets the pan ablaze instantly. The audience applauds Preston’s success.

“So,” Alicia cut in, distracting the guard once again, “now you see why we have to get to my brother. Please let us get into the studio. I told Dex we’d get him home in time to watch the the ball drop.”

“Oh, I think he’s already dropped the ball, honey. I hope one of you’s his Fairy
Godmother.” He led them to a door near the elevator. “Go through here and up the stairs.”

“Thanks!” Alicia turned and led the way.

“Wait, guys. Not there!” Kyle interrupted halfway up the stairs. “That’s the door to the audience.”

“We’ll have to sneak down from the audience then,” Liza whispered.

“We’ll get caught,” Sarah argued.

“Yo. Yo!” Jordy was standing at the bottom of another set of stairs off to the side, pointing to a door behind him labeled:

CLOSED SET: STAFF ONLY

Jazz was standing beside Jordy at the door to the closed set.

“Leesh, I think you should stay here and watch the door with Liza and Jordy,” he whispered.

“Are you sure?” Alicia wasn’t convinced. “I think I should come with you too.”

“Yo, me too,” Jordy insisted.

“Hey, and me,” Liza added.

“Too many feet, too much noise,” Jazz explained. “Jordy if you get caught, no one will understand what you’re saying. That’ll give us more time.”

“So,” Liza said. “Let Jordy watch the door.”

“Liza, you’re Jordy’s backup. And, Leesh, I’ll be too distracted if you’re with me.”

Alicia blushed. “If you say so.”

Jazz looked to his left and right. “Sarah, you know what to do?”

Sarah nodded as she clutched the DVD tightly.

“Kyle, you’re my cover,” Jazz said slowly opening the door. “And, if anyone has to run or gets lost, go upstairs to the audience pavilion.”

Liza shrugged, confused.

“It says it here.” Jazz pointed to a building directory hanging on the wall in between the stairwell and the elevator.

Jazz, Sarah, and Kyle snuck their way behind a series of multi-colored wires and equipment and scanned the area to find the controls for the giant video screen. Jazz saw two cameramen stationed above the kitchen and now understood how they got direct shots of what was cooking in the pots and pans. They inched their way over a little bit more and saw the operator, a big, hairy guy in a plaid shirt sitting in a small chair on wheels. With his eyes slightly closed, he looked like a bear ready for a long winter’s nap.

The area was too tight for them to make the switch while the guy was sitting right behind the control panel. Sarah was petite and fast, so Jazz decided she should make the swap as soon as the guy got up to do something besides doze and catch himself falling off his seat. There was nothing they could do but wait.

Alicia peered through the set door to see the progress Jazz and the others were making; Liza and Jordy kept watch of the main entrance through the glass pane of the door nearest the security desk. They felt pretty sure no one else was expected to come in when they saw the guard take off his shoes and start clipping his toe nails.

“Any biz on the up?” Jordy asked.

“No, nothing’s happening yet,” Alicia whispered. “Oh. Wait. The guy just adjusted his headset. I’m not sure what that means.”

The operator frowned and got up from the control panel as if looking for something. He took a few steps away and Sarah quickly made her move. She tiptoed over to the panel desk and slid under it. The slot for the disc was only within an arm’s reach away. The operator was talking to a cameraman and Sarah slowly pushed the ‘open’ button on the player. Just as she went to put in the DVD, Kyle let out a loud burp.

“What the hell was that?!” the cameraman responded as he eyed the operator.

“A burp. But it wasn’t me!” the operator swore.

“I know. Yours woulda sounded like a beast mating.  It was her,” the cameraman said, pointing to Sarah who was skulking away.