Diamond Revelation (28 page)

“Excuse me.” Topaz looked out at the audience and then at the guitar sitting on her thigh. There was no way she could sing. Her throat had closed up and she could barely breathe.
I can't do this.
She wanted to scream and have a big pity for herself until she saw Chris's worried face and realized she had to keep it together. She didn't want Chris worrying about her.

Topaz played the opening notes again, but when she tried to sing, a few screechy, breathless words came out.

“Would…you know my name?” She was filled with too much pain and grief so she sobbed, “I can't do it.”

She ran outside where the day was gray and the lawns a bright forest green and yelled, “Germain is not dead!” She just couldn't accept it. She was about to jump in her car and run away when Keisha walked out of the chapel and held her tightly.

“How ya doin', girlfriend?”

Topaz couldn't speak.

“You're being so strong for the children.”

Nina came outside next and finally Jade. No one talked, but they all stood out there, in a little group, feeling badly for Topaz. Each of them saying in their own way, no matter what they would always be friends. They stayed until everyone inside came out, following the casket and sprays of flowers out of the chapel.

As soon as Topaz saw it, the lump was back in her throat and she could barely breathe. She watched as they loaded the casket into the hearse. The girls fell in line, got into the cars, and drove farther out to the entombment. Topaz was numb as they walked away from the grave back to the cars. It was over.

Next, they were driven to The Diamond for dinner. Keisha led Topaz over to her usual table where the other Black Friends and some family members joined them. It was their first gathering since the weekend of Sean's birthday party. The group was unusually quiet, but as they ate and drank, the conversations began.

“Topaz is handling this so well,” Keisha commented to Nina.

“Too well,” Nina added.

“Hello, everyone.” It was Mimi. But no one really heard anything Mimi said because they were all focused on Sabre.

“I'm sorry for your loss.” Sabre put a hand on her hip and stood in front of Topaz. She was really trying to be sincere.

“Sabre, how did you get my journal?” Nina demanded as calmly as she could.

“It was at your house in a bookcase. I was bored and it was kind of interesting.”

“How dare you steal something from my home. I'm going to press charges.”

“You bitch, I swear I'll kick your ass.” Topaz grabbed Sabre and threw her onto the table. Before Topaz knew it, her hands were around the girl's throat and she was choking her. “How dare you come here, bitch,” Topaz screamed.

“He was too good for yo ass, you good-for-nothin' ho!” Sabre screamed back.

Nina and Keisha managed to pull Topaz off Sabre, and the two women carefully eyed each other until security came to remove Sabre.

“What? Why do I have to go? I'm a star too.” Sabre was furious. No matter what she did, Topaz always won.

“It's my party,” Topaz reminded her.

“You're just like my damn mother. She gave me away so her ass could run behind some man. Just like you gave Niki away. Thank goodness for Nina so Niki didn't end up in foster care with a bunch of issues like me.”

“Get her out of here,” Topaz commanded. “Now.”

Sabre and Mimi left the restaurant, but Topaz couldn't get Sabre's words out of her head.

Run behind some man? Just like her mother? Issues?

“Nina, get me some tequila shots,” Topaz demanded.

Tequila shots?
Nina had never seen Topaz drink a shot of tequila in her life, and they had done some partying. “That's a strange request.”

“It's a strange day. Now get me some liquor, chile.” She forced a believable smile while she thought,
I'm never going to see Germain again
. She drank the shot of tequila in a swallow, frowned, and then disposed of a second.

“Slow down, T.” Nina gave Topaz a look of concern.

“I have got to get out of here.” Topaz gave the children a quick kiss good-bye. “Bye, babies.” She kissed Baby Doll and Chris and then Niki, who all looked at her with happy golden eyes. She threw on her fur coat and gave a Diana Ross wave and ran out of the restaurant before anyone tried to stop her.

“Where is she going?” Keisha asked Nina.

“That's a good question,” Nina replied. “Where
is
she going?”

Topaz swiped a bottle of tequila from the bar as she left the restaurant. “Merry Christmas.” She flashed the bartender her million-dollar smile and she was gone. Once inside the Bentley, she headed for her house in Pacific Palisades.

Keisha frowned. “We didn't even think to ask where she was going.”

“And she didn't tell us,” Nina finished.

“I'm a terrible mother. I gave my child away and I lost Germain. How am I going to live without you, Germain?” She cried from the depths of her soul and smacked the steering wheel. “I can't, baby. I can't. I can't live without you,” Topaz screamed. “When am I going to wake up and find out this is all a terrible nightmare?”

Nina dialed Topaz's cell phone, but it rang and went to voice mail. “She's knows I'm calling her. Why won't she answer?”

Topaz, now sufficiently liquored up, drove onto the property and went to the security room where her guards watched the estate.

“Mrs. Gradney. We're so sorry to hear about the boss's accident. We love the doc.”

“I know, boys. Thanks a lot.” She gave them a dazzling smile and they swooned. “Can I have one of your guns, please?”

“A gun?” one of them repeated, puzzled.

“A gun. In case I need to shoot something. Just a little extra something for me to have while I'm out driving. I just need to be by myself for a while and I might need some protection,” Topaz explained.

The guys looked at one another, unsure of how to handle her request.

“I won't tell anyone, and I'll give it back first thing in the morning.” Topaz smiled.

“I don't know,” the youngest began.

“Oh, give it to her.” The other man handed her a gun.

“Thanks, boys, I'll be right back with it.” Topaz got back into the car and drove east on Sunset Boulevard. The Hollywood sign grew bigger and brighter as Topaz drove into Hollywood and traveled north to Mulholland.

“Answer the damn phone,” Nina yelled at the device and looked at Keisha. “Where is she?”

“I know where she is,” Kyle said to Nina.

“Let's go.” Nina ran behind Kyle as he walked swiftly toward the car.

Topaz rolled down the window. She was beginning to get dizzy. The alcohol on an empty, nervous stomach was taking its toll.

“I'm coming, baby. I'm on my way.” She punched the gas and the automobile glided down the curvy mountain road. “Superstar” came on the radio, and she almost lost control of the car trying to turn it off.

“Where are you going?” Nina asked Kyle.

“Where T is. I know she's there; I've been wanting to see myself,” Kyle explained.

“See what?” Nina demanded.

“Just sit back and see.” Kyle smiled.

“You looked like Papa Ross today.” Nina laughed.

“I am Papa Ross.” Kyle grinned and Nina giggled.

“Where is it?” Topaz slowed down almost to a creep and then pulled off the side of the road. She saw the dented barricade and felt like someone stabbed her with a knife. This was the spot where Germain's Porsche flipped off the road.

Highway patrol came to the house with a report. Germain was driving over ninety miles per hour when the car skidded and flipped over the metal railing. Topaz cried a fresh batch of tears. Germain had died somewhere between where she was parked and the rocks below. It tore her heart to pieces every time she thought about it. Now she was finally here.

She sniffed and glanced over the steering wheel at the lights in the basin below. It was a spectacular view.
Did Germain drive up here to think about me?

Forensics had also placed the time of death right after the last call from his cell phone, which was to her.

Topaz spoke out loud to herself. “You were trying to call me, baby. You said I love you. But you didn't drive off this place trying to get away from me, did you?” She had finally said it. She was still crying when she took out the bag of powder cocaine and snorted it until she was medicated sufficiently.

Kyle and Nina drove by on the other side of Mulholland and spotted her Bentley.

“Is this the place?” Nina looked into Kyle's eyes as he agreed with a nod of the head. “Why would she come here now?” Nina began to cry.

Topaz tried to open the car door with the gun in her hand, but her strength was gone. She looked up and saw Nina and Kyle coming toward her. She tried to run, but she tripped and fell and skinned her knees. She could feel them smarting, but she crawled as quickly as she could through the dirt and rocks trying to reach the edge of the cliff.

“Topaz! No!” Nina screamed. “Kyle, get her!”

But Topaz was determined. When she saw she couldn't make it to the cliff without their stopping her, she closed her eyes and put the gun to her head. She pulled the trigger, but there was only a click. Her eyes popped open. The gun had no bullets. Security had given her an empty gun.

Topaz tossed the gun on the ground and collapsed on her back in the dirt and rocks. “I can't do anything right. I couldn't even kill myself.”

When Kyle and Nina reached her, she was laughing hysterically, and they both thought she had lost her mind.

“I tried to kill myself and I couldn't do it,” Topaz mumbled and fell out cold.

I
t was the Friday before MLK Day, and another long weekend was already underway. At Revelation Music, things were extremely busy with the Grammys quickly approaching and a party during the NBA All Star weekend. Amid the busyness, Nina and Kyle were also finalizing projects for the second half of the year. It felt good to be back at work because it gave them an escape from what had become a new reality…life without Germain.

Nina watched Kyle playing with a 20Q that she had picked up for him in an airport. She couldn't even remember which one now, because so much had happened since the trip to Philadelphia. Her cell phone rang and she was thankful for the distraction.

“Five bedrooms in Sherman Oaks, north of Ventura, and it has a pool?” Nina sounded excited, and Kyle looked up to see to whom she was talking.

“But it has only three baths?” Nina paused to think. “That's worth looking at. I'll be right there.”

She quickly jotted down the address on a notepad and clicked off her phone.

“Are you going to see a house?” Kyle seemed extremely interested.

“Want to come with?”

Minutes later, they were on the Ventura Freeway. Kyle made an exit at Van Nuys Boulevard and pulled up in front of the house.

“Wow. It's nice and the street is nice too. Is this blingy enough for you?” Kyle looked at Nina.

“I have to see inside before I can make a decision. It's just going to be our weekday house. We have bling in Malibu.”

The real estate agent took them on a tour of the house, but Nina was sold as soon as she saw the kitchen. It looked like a kitchen where kids would bake cookies, talk about what happened at school, and eat grilled cheese sandwiches. There were cherry hardwood floors everywhere, plenty of sunlight, and a nice view of the pool from the family room.

Kyle watched her dash up the stairs and he followed her. She was checking out each bedroom with a little smile on her face.

“What are you thinking?” Kyle finally had to smile.

“This house is perfect for Kyle, Nina, Niki, Baby Doll, and Chris. There are two rooms that share a bathroom. We can put Niki and Baby Doll in those. Chris can have the one at the end of the hall, and we'll take this one with the Jacuzzi tub.”

“What Jacuzzi tub?”

“The one that will be there when I finish decorating. You like?” Nina gave him one of Niki's favorite expressions and he laughed.

“What about the extra bedroom? Is that for Mama T? Where will we put her when she comes to visit?” Kyle asked.

“We'll put her on the sofa so she'll go home. If not the diva will try to take over the house.” Nina laughed.

“It's going to take time for everyone to heal and merge into one family.” Kyle sighed. “But it's the best solution.”

“Letting all the kids live together in both of our homes is really going to help. I've been around Miss Baby Doll since she was born. Chris is really going to need you, Kyle. He's becoming quite a young man. And we can still be with Niki, and Topaz can too.”

“What about when the baby comes?”

“What baby?” Nina smiled.

“The one that fifth bedroom is for.” Kyle smiled back.

“Ya think?” Nina teased.

“Definitely.”

The real estate agent found them in the master bedroom. “What do you folks think?”

“We think we like it.” Nina smiled.

 

Topaz waited in her Range Rover for the kids to come out of school. Baby Doll skipped out first and waved good-bye to all of her little girlfriends. She hopped in the SUV and immediately changed the station on the radio.

“Hi, Mom.” She took out a notebook and began drawing.

“Hi, sweetie.” She kissed Baby Doll and smoothed her hair. “Where are your brother and sister?”

“I don't know. Is Niki really my sister?”

“Yes, sweetie.”

“Then why isn't her name Gradney like me and Chris?”

“It will be one day, baby.” She had already discussed changing Niki's last name, but they had decided to wait until Niki was older and let her make the decision when she would have a better understanding of the situation.

“I miss Daddy, Mom.” Baby Doll looked up from her sketch at her mom.

“I do too, baby. I do too.” There wasn't a day that went by when thoughts and memories of Germain didn't overtake her.

“There they are.” Baby Doll pointed to Chris carefully leading Niki by the hand to the car. He helped her inside then got in himself.

Just like his father.
Topaz managed a smile.

“We got out late and Niki was waiting on me.” Chris smiled and Topaz did too. It had been a long time since she had seen him smile, and she knew Niki's small act of kindness had touched his heart.

“I need you guys to help me with a very big project.” Topaz began as she drove away from the school. “I have to sing at the Grammys tomorrow night and you guys have to help me, or else I won't be able to do it.”

“We get to be on stage?” Baby Doll gave her mother her undivided attention.

“Yes. You just have to sit with me while I sing. We're on our way to the Staples Center now so we can rehearse.”

“We have to rehearse sitting down?” Baby Doll questioned.

“Everything has to be rehearsed for the Grammys,” Topaz explained.

 

The Black Friends were in the audience sitting together. Topaz called and personally invited everyone. Nina was backstage as she prepared to go on. Topaz was stunning in all white. The children were wearing white, too.

“Do I look okay, Nina?” Topaz turned and twisted in the mirror.

Nina smiled. “Gorgeous as usual.”

“What about me, Mommy?” Niki tried to sit in Nina's lap. She'd been with Topaz all day.

“You are the prettiest one in this whole big building,” Nina whispered in her ear.

Nina was seated next to Kyle just as the show began. When the lights came up, Topaz was holding a golden guitar sitting on a cloud in what appeared to be heaven. The stage was lit to an ethereal white. A spotlight held on Topaz as she began to strum her guitar; the chords were strong, certain, and clear when she began to sing.

“Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven? Will it be the same if I saw you in heaven?”

Keisha held her breath and prayed she'd make it through the entire song. All of the friends knew she was singing to Germain—the song she couldn't sing at his memorial service. She had recorded it, and “Tears in Heaven” would be included on the re-release of
Superstar
.

There was a second guitarist on stage. Eric Clapton joined her on the second verse.

“Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven? Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?”

Nina had promised herself she wouldn't cry. She thought she had wiped away a tear on the down low when Keisha handed her a tissue.

“Beyond the door, there's peace I'm sure, and I know there'll be no more tears in heaven.”

The camera locked on the children sitting at her feet.

“Look at my baby,” Kyle whispered loudly enough for everyone around them to hear.

“I must be strong and carry on cause I know I don't belong here in heaven.”

Topaz let out a small sigh of relief when she completed the song. The entire room thundered with applause as everyone rose to their feet and gave her a standing ovation. Topaz bowed humbly as the children gathered around her to exit the stage.

 

The fifty-story bronze edifice has a mighty presence at the north end of Las Vegas Boulevard. “Wynn” was written in lowercase letters; Steve Wynn's latest hotel extravaganza is five-star luxury and the location for Sabre's Bash, an annual fundraising event to raise money in memory of Marisol Cruz, Sabre's grandmother. The NBA All Star game was also in Las Vegas, making Sabre's joint at Tryst the hottest party that night during All Star weekend.

Sabre and Sky made several purchases from various designer shops inside the hotels, but Diamond Life was their favorite boutique. The ladies were shopping alone, and although they both had the perfect stylist-selected outfits in their rooms, they wanted to get something new to wear to the party, like they did back in high school.

“We are going to have so much fun. I can't wait to see who's coming tonight.” Sky was excited.

“Omarion, Chris Brown, Meagan Good. Girl, all kinds of people,” Sabre rattled off.

“We need some fun around here after you got all weird on me over Dr. Germain. You were in bed for a week, then you just took off for Japan.”

“I was in love with Dr. Germain. He was so sweet.” Sabre smiled. “Did I tell you we had an affair?”

“No way.” Sabre had Sky's full attention as they headed toward the spa.

“Sure, we did.” Sabre had a faraway look in her eyes.

“You actually had sex with Dr. Germain?”

“Sure did.”

“Where? At your place in Malibu?” Sky demanded with an I-want-details expression.

“It was at the Beverly Hills Hotel,” Sabre whispered.

Sky didn't know what to think. Sabre could be such a liar at times.

“Girl, he rocked me ever so gently when we made love.” Sabre was definitely in another world.

Sky had never seen her look that way. “You're serious, aren't you?”

“Yes, I was in love with him and he was in love with me,” Sabre declared smugly.

“Girl, please. Everybody in the industry is talking about how much Dr. Germain loved Topaz. Stop trippin'. She even sang for him at the Grammys with her kids around her. It was so sweet.” Sky relaxed on the massage table; hot almond oil deep-tissue massages followed by brown sugar body scrubs were on the agenda next.

“I was there.”

“Topaz won like seven Grammys?” Sky asked.

“She only won 'em because everybody felt sorry for her,” Sabre commented.

“Whatever, girl. So was Dr. Germain going to leave ole girl and be your man?” Sky asked.

“He would have…eventually,” Sabre confessed.

“See, I knew you were lying.”

“No, really, he did make love to me.” Sabre smiled until the happiness eased out of her face as she recalled hanging onto his leg, begging him to stay. She knew he was going home to Topaz after Germain admitted to Sabre he would always be in love with his wife.

“I wonder if I'll ever meet someone like him again.”

“Sabre, please…kill the dramatics.”

“No, really. He was the first man I ever loved that I had sex with.”

“He was the first man you ever liked that you had sex with,” Sky corrected.

“That's an interesting thought.”

“Maybe you thought you loved him because of the way he made you feel.”

“Maybe that is why I loved him.” Sabre looked thoughtful.

“Girl, you don't know what the hell you're talking about.” Sky was laughing.

Sabre smiled and laughed too.

Whatever Sabre had felt that one night, it was definitely over. She thought about Germain's memorial service, and it brought tears to her eyes. It made her remember what she never forgot…her grandmother's funeral. She felt like her heart was ripped out, and now she knew Topaz had to feel that way too. Sabre exhaled a long sigh as she realized a new truth.

Death and life are hard no matter who you are.

For now, Sabre shook the memory from her head.

“Come on, Sky. Let's rock this damn party.”

“Meet me at the club.” Sky laughed as she and Sabre danced and sang together.