Diana (22 page)

Speaking in Chicago about cancer in 1996: “The dreaded C word—it seems to strike from nowhere, destroying lives almost at will, leaving devastation in its wake. But the advances that have been made are quite staggering. It may not always be possible to provide the complete solution to a patient’s predicament but does that mean we should give up? Sometimes we may only be able to provide support and counsel. Does that mean we have failed? I think not.”

When reminded by her stepmother, Raine, of how hurt her father was by his first wife’s desertion, she said, “Pain—Raine, that’s one word you don’t even know how to relate to. In my role I see people suffer like you’ll never see and you call that pain. You’ve got a lot to learn.”

“I so admire you,” Diana told Louise Woolcock, a twenty-one-year-old woman dying of cancer. “How angry are you?”

While noting that staggering advances have been made in the fight against cancer, “our work is not yet finished,” she said. “I would suggest that now might be a good time to consider another C word which may threaten us. It is the word ‘complacency,’ and that is why this symposium is of such importance.”

In a 1990 address to the International Congress for the Family in Brighton, she said, “There are certain common ingredients essential for families of all sizes and types. There must of course be love, but love is—in its most practical form—commitment to each other, sharing together, self-discipline, and some self-sacrifice. I doubt whether there is any standard formula for a successful family. The family is after all the most human and perfect institution. Instead I could only point to those mothers and fathers and children—in lonely isolation or in conformity—who simply do their best to have what they have. Remember that the very idea of a human family has many definitions and perhaps only those who depend on it most—the young, the old, the sick, and the dying—can really pretend to know its meaning.”

After attending two-and-a-half hours of lifesaving open-heart surgery on a seven-year-old boy in 1996: “I gather information much more from visual contact than from reading books, so when I stand and speak about the various subjects I find
it more beneficial to have actually seen it myself.” She also said, of the surgery, “It is literally seeing life on a knife-edge. It motivates me and brings me into my life. I’m a great lover of children. The fact that a little person can have a second opportunity from my country, I’m very proud to be involved.”

At Royal Brompton Hospital in London in early 1996: “I make the trips at least three times a week, and spend up to four hours at a time with patients holding their hands and talking to them. Some of them will live and some will die, but they all need to be loved while they are here. I try to be there for them. I really love helping. I seem to draw strength from them.”

On helping the mentally ill

Opening the Ninth Congress of the European Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, in London: “I do not believe that emotions are necessarily nuisances
which need to be suppressed or concealed. Sadness is one emotion which often makes observers feel more uncomfortable than those who are sad. As far as I know, crying has yet to kill someone. I am not advocating a general wailing or gnashing of teeth or sackcloth and ashes. But emotional outbursts might be less dramatic or violent if a little steam was to be occasionally vented harmlessly.”

On a visit to a hospice for the mentally ill: “After I had been round the first ward, I remember it so vividly, I was struck by the calmness of the patients in their beds, confronting their illness. They were so brave about it and made me feel so humble.”

On the deaf community

From her foreword to
The Dictionary of British Sign Language/English:
“As patron of the British Deaf Association, I am delighted to welcome the
publication of this unique bilingual
Dictionary of British Sign Language/English.
British Sign Language (BSL) is the fourth most commonly used of Britain’s indigenous languages after English, Welsh, and Scottish Gaelic, and is estimated to be the first or preferred language of over 50,000 people in this country. As a consequence of my involvement with deaf people, I have become aware of the richness of BSL as a distinct and independent language. I know this Dictionary will be seen as a welcome and important bridge-building enterprise.”

On deaf people and learning British Sign Language: “Well, I’m trying, but I think it’s important to show that you’re interested and you’re not just breezing in and out, having seen [deaf people] for a morning. I’ve got all my senses and they haven’t, and I’m learning how they adapt, or if they’ve been deaf and dumb since birth, how they cope, and how they deal with the outside world that doesn’t always want to know about them.”

On the elderly

In 1985, Diana made these remarks at the opening of a Northampton day-care extension to the care home named for her grandmother: “Who would have believed that it was nine years ago that I first came to watch Queen Elizabeth open this nursing home? I must admit that I am more nervous today, as it is the first time that my father and I have shared the same platform. For us, it is a very special family occasion, and I know we all wish my grandmother could be here today to see this fine new building. The extension will enable many more patients living in the community to be given the care they need when they aren’t able to cope at home.”