Diary of a Wanted Woman (20 page)

I thought he would explode, but he began to laugh. He laughed very hard.

“So you’re mad at me?”

I didn’t like him laughing. That only made me fear him more.

I wasn’t sure how to respond. I swallowed the lump in my throat and waited for what he had next.

Suddenly the laughter stopped.

“You looked me in the eye and lied to me. You fucking liar!”

“David, I…,”

He held up a hand and stepped closer to me.

“I’m talking. You are listening,” he replied.

I closed my mouth and took a step back.

“I pour my heart out to you and you tell me you don’t want to be in a relationship. You say you can’t be committed to someone and low and behold not only are you committed to someone, you are fucking one of my teammates, something you also swore you wouldn’t do.”

He takes a deep breath and I could see tears forming in his eyes. This was a shock to me. David wasn’t the crying type. He was strong and macho and he never cried.

My anger started to subside.
 
I had never seen him like this. It broke my heart.

“How can I trust you? We were supposed to be friends.”

He looked so hurt and upset. I had to say something.

“David, I didn’t mean to lie to you.”

Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut. My statement only made him angrier. He squinted at me and gave me a look like he wanted to kill me.

Strangely, it started to turn me on.

“So what did you mean to do Hannah? Tell me.”

I just stood there looking like a lying idiot. My mind went blank and I had nothing. This was not a good time for that to happen.

He shook his head.

“So, you think I’m stupid.”

I sighed.

“David, I don’t think you are stupid. I didn’t mean for this to happen. What Keith and I have is not exactly what you think.”

“But it is a relationship, right?”

I didn’t know how to explain my relationship with Keith to David. He would really think I was crazy. I ran it through my mind and I decided against it.

I didn’t think I was going to get out of this unscathed. David was angry and when he got this way, there was no reasoning with him. I just never thought he would be this angry with me ever.

I ran through more lies and excuses in my head and settled against them. The last thing I needed to do now was lie some more.

“You adamantly told me you didn’t want me. I tried everything to get you to see that I loved you and you told me you would never be with me. I thought it was time that I moved on. It’s hard being in love with someone for almost 10 years and never have them return your affection.”

His last statement shook me to my core. Did he say he loved me for ten years? I could not fathom that. I could feel tears fall down my cheeks. Ten years?

“David I didn’t know.”

“I know you didn’t know. You never noticed or maybe you never cared. It was always about you. I loved you the moment I laid eyes on you and now you treat me like shit. ”

I didn’t understand why he was saying that. He was one of my best friends and I would never treat him badly.

He cocked his head to the side.

“Hannah, it was so easy for you to sit there and lie to me. You know how dumb that makes me feel. Have you been lying about everything? What else don’t I know?”

There was so much he didn’t know and I really needed to keep it that way.

He moved closer until our bodies were only inches away from each other. It made my heart pound.

“The moment Kim met me she wanted to take our relationship somewhere. I liked her but I loved you. When you told me you would never be with me, I decided that maybe I should move on. I thought maybe you were right. Maybe you and I being together would ruin our friendship. Now I know it was just an excuse for you.”

Suddenly he turned away from me. When he turned back around I could see he was fighting back tears.

“Hannah, I thought we were better than that. I thought we had this bond and we were so close. I thought we meant a lot to each other. I thought that even though we may not be together you were still my friend and I could trust you.”

I could feel my own tears running down my cheeks. It felt like our souls were synced and I could feel what he felt. I could feel his pain and my own.

“I don’t know what hurts more, knowing I can’t trust you or knowing that you are with another man.”

I didn’t realize that this would hurt him so much. I needed to explain to him.

“David, I wasn’t trying to lie to you. What Keith and I have is nothing like the kind of relationship you wanted from me.”

“I know that it is nothing like I want with you because I know Keith. I have known him longer than you and he doesn’t give a damn about you Hannah.”

He grabbed me by my arms and brought me close to him.

“I know you probably won’t listen to me but Keith is a crazy asshole. I have seen him use and abuse women mentally and physically time and time again. I don’t know how you feel about him but I would stay away from him if I were you.”

I knew why he was concerned. Keith could be a little whacked out at times, but I can be too.

“David I know what I am getting into.”

“Good,” he said letting me go.

“I hope he makes you happy. You got what you wanted. I moved on and I don’t want you anymore. I don’t need you anymore. You are worthless to me if I can’t trust you,” he said walking down the hall away from me.

 
He might as well have punched me in the face.

I knew he was angry and upset but that hurt me more than he knows.

It pained me to hear him say that. I always knew that I was worthless but it wounded me to hear him say it. I wiped the tears from my eyes trying to get myself together. It was no use. I stood there sobbing with my head in my hands.

I could not bear to go back to the dinner table. I just left without saying goodbye to anyone. I was close to tears and if anyone spoke to me I would break down.

I drove home still in tears and completely angry with myself. David will never forgive me. I came here to make things right and succeeded in losing someone I truly cared about.

As I drove, I realized that now that David knew about Keith, Keith would find out that I told David and I’m sure he will know I didn’t stop sleeping with David.

I remember reading “
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”. It is a story about an investigation into the strange occurrences between two immeasurably different men.

One good and one evil.

It was always a surprised to find out that in the end all the emotions were found in one man.

The book has been associated with split personality disorder. It involves someone with two personalities living within them.

I had never met someone like that in person before, yet the longer I got to know Keith I had to wonder if he suffers from the disorder as well.

There are times when he is being nice and gentle with me and then he changes in a flash into a totally different person. He is mean, aggressive and abusive at the drop of a hat.

Don’t get me wrong. I find both personalities sexy. I just never know which one I am going to get at any given moment. I can never be prepared.

Dr. Jekyll cares for me and wants to make sure I am okay and that I have everything I need. When Mr. Hyde is around I obey and follow all the rules because if I don’t…it all goes downhill from there.

 
I sat on Keith’s beautiful canopy bed and watched him rummage through his trunk of toys. I was already naked, wet and ready to go, but I have been sitting here for 15 minutes waiting for him to get ready.

He promised me he had something special for me today.

His curtains were drawn and it was very dark in the room. He was crouched over the trunk and I could only see his silhouette. There were a few candles lit in the room and they were the only source of light.

I saw him stand and move toward the bed.

He sat a pile of toys down along with an enormous box.

 
“I have something special for you,” he said grabbing the box and bringing it over to me.

“So you said. What is it?” I asked anxious to see what he bought me.

He handed me the large box that was wrapped with beautiful gold wrapping paper, black ribbon and a matching bow.

I tore into the wrapping paper and threw off the top of the box. There was tissue paper and I threw that out of my way also.

Lying at the bottom was a diamond encrusted collar.

“What the fuck is this?”

He laughed.

“It’s my gift to you.”

I was confused. What was I supposed to do with this? I didn’t own a dog or any other animal that would wear this. I looked up at him and he was still smiling. Then it hit me.

“I’m supposed to wear this?”

He reached in and pulled it out.

“Of course, what did you think it was for?”

He was crazy if he thought I was wearing a collar.

“I am not putting that on my neck,” I said laughing.

He didn’t look amused. I was starting to think that he was serious.

“You can’t be serious.”

Before the words were fully out of my mouth, he leaped on me and knocked me back flat on the bed. His face was inches from mine. He looked menacing and scary.

“It’s either the collar or my fucking hands wrapped around your neck. PUT THE FUCKING COLLAR ON!”

I was too afraid to argue with him. He moved off me and I sat up. He held out the collar and I took it from him with shaking hands.

I put it around my neck and he secured it locking it in place. He took the key he had and placed it on the side table. He reached into the pile of toys and grabbed out an item.

“Climb to the top of the bed,” he ordered.

I climbed to the top of the bed wondering what he had in store for me.

 
“Hold out your wrists.”

I held out my wrist and winced when he slapped on a pair of handcuffs. I hated being handcuffed. That was one pain that didn’t turn me on, but I wasn’t going to tell him to stop.

“Lie on your back and spread your legs,” he said.

I didn’t hesitate but it was more difficult than I thought it would be with my hands cuffed. I fell backwards laughing but he didn’t see anything funny about it.

“What the fuck is so funny? Spread your legs and shut the fuck up.”

I wiped the smile off my face and spread my legs. He reached for another larger object and smacked it against his hands. It was the paddle. I realized then that he planned to punish me. It made me wetter.

He climbed on the bed and got close to my legs. He ran his fingers up and down my thighs.

“We are going to have some fun baby?”

He climbed on top of me and kissed me softly on the lips. He leaned over and whispered in my ear.

“Just so you know,” he began. “The safe word is ‘off sides’.”

My eyes got big at the prospect of needing a safe word.

He sat back on his heels and lifted the paddle again. He began to rub my thigh with the paddle softly. Then he pulled it back and swung. The moment the paddle made contact with the sensitive skin of my thigh I could feel my body go numb for a split second and when that second was over my entire body radiated with pain.

I screamed.

“I think that means you want more,” he said swinging again and making contact with my other thigh.

“OH SHIT!” I screamed.

He laughed. He was enjoying it.

“Now, for some real fun.”

He raised the paddle, not very high, and brought it down only slightly gentler on my pussy.

“You like that?”

Oh my goodness I thought. I didn’t understand how that could hurt so badly and still feel so good. It took my breath away and I could not answer. He didn’t respond well to that.

“Answer me!” he said smacking my thigh again harder than the first time.

I was trembling at this point and having a hard time speaking but I forced myself to say some words that hopefully made some sense.

“Yes,” was all I managed to say.

He smacked my thigh again.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I like it!”

He laughed.

“Good girl. You are doing so well.”

He sat the paddle down and I was grateful. There were large red marks on my legs and I knew that one of them would be a bruise in the morning.

He placed his face between my legs. He began by kissing my pussy lips gently. It felt so good and my clit started to throb.

My eyes nearly rolled into the back of my head when his tongue slid between my lips and began to make small circles on my clit.

“Oh…,” I moaned.

He mastered my pussy, licking and sucking like I had been his to devour all along. His tongue consumed me with such eagerness and enthusiasm. I could hear his slurping noises lapping up every ounce of the juice that gushed from my tight wet hole.

He sat up slightly and placed in two fingers. He knew how to find my G-Spot. He worked it hard and I knew that I was going to come soon. He was no fool. He knew I was close to coming too and he pulled his fingers out. It was like torture to be so close and just have him stop so suddenly.

“You thought I was going to let you come?”

He grabbed me and began to roll me over. He had to catch me when I almost rolled off the bed. He helped me adjust myself and he propped me up so that my ass was in the air.

“Just like that and don’t fucking move.”

He grabbed the paddle again and I heard him smack it in his hands. I was afraid of the pain but for some strange reason the anticipation of my punishment excited me.

That is, until he smacked it against my ass. He didn’t hold back. The pain was so unbearable that I thought he had broken something if there was anything back there to break.

He placed the large dildo in my pussy and pulled it in and out. It almost made me forget the pain radiating from my ass to the rest of my body.

It was so big and filled me completely. My G-spot was getting a workout again. My legs were like jelly and I was having a hard time keeping them up. My face was smashed against the bed and I was moaning softly.

“
Mmm
, your pussy is dripping. Come for me.”

He continued to push the dildo in and out. I could feel my orgasm building and I knew that I could not take it anymore. I knew what was going to happen. I could tell when I was going to explode.

“I’m coming!”

Before the words could fully leave my lips I came hard squirting my juices all over the bed and getting some on Keith. My legs gave out and I fell causing the dildo to fall from my pussy.

“Turn over and spread your legs.”

I rolled over and did as I was told as he started to lick my cum. He began to lick my clit and I felt another orgasm building.

I came again hard squirting and soaking everything. He didn’t move in the process and his face was dripping. He licked his lips and smiled.

“I’m so hot now I need to fuck you.”

He placed his body between my legs. His hands found my breasts and surprisingly they were warm. He squeezed a nipple and I moaned. Then his mouth followed his hands. The sensations were electrifying. He finally used his mouth to engulf as much of my large breast as he could. A moan escaped my lips.

“You want me to fuck you don’t you?”

I nodded my head.

“You need to fucking say it.”

I swallowed.

“I want you to fuck me.”

He smiled at me.

“Good girl.”

He sucked on my breasts some making sure to add more pain with pleasure by biting my nipples.

Then he plunged deep inside of me.

He was fucking me not caring if he was hurting me or not. He was holding on to my throat right above the collar. It was giving him the leverage he needed to beat my pussy as hard as he could.

His fingers tightened around my throat and I tried to pry his hands from my neck. I realized it was difficult to do that with handcuffs on my wrists. I was struggling to breathe and didn’t know what to do.

I remembered that he gave me a safe word.

I tried to say it but it barely came out.

“What was that?” he questioned.

“Off sides,” I said very low.

“I can’t fucking hear you.”

He didn’t stop. I just gave up and thought that if he killed me I would die happy.

He was going at me for what seemed like forever. The stamina on this man was amazing.

Then suddenly he pulled out and scrambled to the head of the bed. With my hands still handcuffed, I looked up and watched him finish himself off. Suddenly he jerked and came spraying his cum on my lips, in my nose and practically in my eye.

“Oh shit that was good.”

He collapsed on the bed. He reached down and grabbed my shirt from the floor and wiped his cum from my face. Then he lay back down.

I sat up and rolled off the bed. I walked over to the side table to get the key and he jumped up and grabbed it.

“I need to take these handcuffs off,” I said.

He laughed.

He reached over and unlocked my hands. He grabbed the handcuffs and tossed them in his trunk.

“Ok, now can you please take the collar off?”

“You can leave that fucking thing on forever for all I care. I own you and I will take it off when I’m good and ready.”

He was crazy if he thought I was leaving with this collar.

“Keith, come on. Give me the key!”

He glared at me.

“Hannah, I said no. You are leaving it on.”