Did You Read That Review ? (87 page)

By
Owen Wilson’s Nose
, April 21, 2013

This is some potent stuff. If you were to wear this stuff at work you would probably be accused of sexual harassment as soon as you walked into a room. I would picture Ron Burgundy wearing this stuff if Sex Panther didn’t work every time.

313 of 344 people found the following review helpful

I am now a man

By
Dr. StrangeBrew “marekjjones”
, February 17, 2011

I kept wondering:
Am I truly a man?
I’m told to buy this stuff called Axe. I buy it. I smelled like a boy who still lived with his parents. Were females attracted to me? Yes. After they came back from their Justin Bieber concerts. I’m 38, so that was a bit untidy. I tried a Three Wolf Moon Shirt. Unfortunately, what they don’t tell you is that they’re out of supermodels—too many shirts have been sold. The supermodels that broke up with their boyfriends as their shirts wore out heard about Dwight on
The Office
. Not only is he famous, but he proudly wears Three Wolf Moon. So I decided to try Clubman After Shave Lotion. I’m truly a man. I smell like I just came out of a barbershop. It’s delicious. Not too strong. Smells good. I think I’m now a man. I do worry a little about smelling like an old man, and perhaps I have gone from teenagers to women who are 6x better: 78-year-olds. Maybe I’m not man enough for that.

4.2 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
Omas Limited-Edition, Phoenix-Plated Fountain Pen with Diamonds

ASIN:
     B002K6QB78

Price:
     
$48,000.00

The enamel Phoenix, elegant and proud, which dominates the reservoir of the Omas fountain. This pen copies “The Trip of the Phoenix” faithfully. The body of the pen, too, which comes in four versions, offers four colours, and the metal for the finishings changes: the yellow enamel is combined with platinum; the red with gold; the blue, silver; and the white, bronze. On the top there is a beautiful jade of an intense green, which recalls the green of the Phoenix’s plumage. The highly original clip is inspired by movement and harmony. The Phoenix flies from Greece to China, from the Parthenon skillfully reproduced on the cap, to the Summer Palace, symbolically miniaturized on the nib, bringing together for the Olympics two great civilisations whose influences have been fundamental to the development of humanity. Though geographically distant, they have both given the world wisdom, philosophy, art, and innovation. This small masterpiece comes in a precious wood case, and its production has been entrusted, as always, to craftsmen and artists with unquestioned experience over many long years.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

34 of 37 people found the following review helpful

Did you think it only wrote in fabulous style?

By
Barbara Stirling
, August 22, 2012

If you would just read the fine print, you would be apprised of the many wonders of the Omas Phoenix Pen. It does everything you’d expect a 50-grand pen would do. The moment I liberated it from its fancy box, it proceeded to diaper my baby, clean behind the toilet, and homeschool my children in Spanish (this model speaks with an impeccable high Castilian accent—if you want another dialect, this pen is probably not for you). That evening, it applied itself to my checkbook and tax returns, tuned the piano, and turned out a delicious plum duff. Right now it is steaming the dated apples-and-figs wallpaper off my kitchen walls after declaring it “shamefully disgusting and middle class,” while reciting the entirety of Shakespeare’s
Macbeth
from memory. It even does voices! Cultured, industrious, and endlessly clever with a dry sort of wit that is rarely overbearing, this pen will become indispensable to you in a mere day. Flick your BIC if you insist on being part of the common herd. But if you aspire to higher things, if your soul seeks life on an elevated plane, or if you simply want the Omas Phoenix to wax your eyebrows while playing the mandolin, this is the pen you were born for.

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful

Entitlement Pen

By
J. GILLIGAN “Gilligangsta”
, April 19, 2013

Whenever I purchase a new private jet, I have my butler bring me this pen for signing the check. I even once used it to endorse the deed for my own private island chain in the South Pacific. Generally, I have people write things down for me, because I am extremely busy with my “charity work,” and my hand jewelry is somewhat cumbersome for manual exertion; however when I absolutely have to write something, I do enjoy using this pen. My only complaint is that it doesn’t contain enough blood diamonds. One can never have too much bling.

118 of 130 people found the following review helpful

Gift

By
Jax
, January 27, 2012

My wife thinks we should make a down payment on a new home after we get married…but I think I made the right decision by purchasing her this pen. I haven’t given it to her yet, but I’ll surprise her on our honeymoon. Granted, we’ll have to live with my parents for a few years, but I think she’ll enjoy that. She is such a lucky lady…I really do spoil her.

88 of 106 people found the following review helpful

Can’t beat the price for what you get

By
Immortally Yours
, August 6, 2011

My job currently requires a lot of writing, and I really wanted the best pen money could afford. With my purchase being a tax deduction, the sky was the limit. I went for the Omas Limited-Edition, Phoenix-Plated Fountain Pen with Diamonds not only because of the fanciful looks, but because it boasted a mass amount of yellow enamel. As far as I know, no other pen ever created has boasted as much. Like others, I also pondered why the price was somewhat high for a fountain pen. After a couple of uses I found out. During my last stretch of mass signatures required by my work, I noticed a slight tingling throughout my fingers and extending to my hand. After a few days of usage my writing hand felt…well…stronger, more vibrant. I didn’t think much of this, but after around a week of usage I also noticed the natural blemishes and wrinkles on my hand had were disappearing. I called the customer service for Kenro Industries, Inc. to let them know what was going on. The customer service folks were extremely nice (another reason for the high ratings). They had explained to me that an actual Phoenix feather was used in making these pens. Now why this wasn’t in the pen’s description is beyond me, but it was an added plus that just added to my excitement over my purchase. Since calling their customer service, my hand has seemed to have aged backward. I now write better, grip better, and overall my quality of life has increased. Any wrinkles, scars, or blemishes I once had on my hand are now gone, and I could not be happier. Now why the four-star rating? The pen’s “added effects” only seem to work on my one hand. As much as I am overjoyed by this, I gather my hand will long be here on earth while the rest of me has withered away. For the price that had to be paid, I would have preferred if the rest of me was aging backward. To sum up: This is a great pen if you have the finances to afford it. I ordered another one in hopes that my left hand will also start to age backward. Heck, if I can’t find immortality for all of me, the least I can do is to have my hands live on as a legacy to this great product.