Diet Rehab: 28 Days to Finally Stop Craving the Foods That Make You Fat (23 page)

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Authors: Mike Dow,Antonia Blyth

BOOK: Diet Rehab: 28 Days to Finally Stop Craving the Foods That Make You Fat
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“You are not allowed to feel bad about relapsing,” I told her firmly. “And I also don’t want you skipping any meals or snacks, whether you binge or not. If you relapse again, you will. If you relapse twenty times, you will. One day you won’t. And meanwhile, you’ll keep eating normally. Now move on to planning tonight’s snack and meal. Tomorrow is another day, and you can take this a day at a time.”
Together we worked on changing Jenna’s low opinion of herself. I had her meditating every morning for five to ten minutes as she practiced clearing her mind of thoughts and just observing her feelings as if from a distance. (Go to
www.drmikedow.com
for your own guided meditation session.) She also worked on changing her mantra of “I’m not good enough” to “I’m worth it.” (For more on mantras, go to pages 84 and 118.)
To help reset Jenna’s binge eating, I also made sure she kept a journal about her feelings along with everything she ate. I also made her throw out her scales and allowed her to weigh herself only once each week, in my office. We agreed to do blind weighing so that I alone would know her weight until twenty-eight days had passed. That’s because Jenna was so obsessed about her weight that knowing it even weekly made her more anxious. Also, sometimes a person who has been starving and bingeing may see his or her weight go up before it goes down. I didn’t want Jenna to feel discouraged.
And indeed, Jenna gained two pounds at first, simply from her body’s reaction to regular eating. On a constant yo-yo of starving and bingeing, her metabolism had become sluggish, and she wasn’t burning calories efficiently. But with support from the friends and family I encouraged her to confide in, Jenna didn’t lapse back into her binge-starve cycle.
During this period I also helped Jenna learn to eat in public without panicking. Her fear of food and her tendency to binge in secret had made eating in restaurants and in front of people a difficult experience. First she went to a cozy little café for lunch. She had a Niçoise salad with dopamine-boosting tuna fish and egg slices and some serotonin-boosting chamomile tea. She took a book with her to help her feel less self-conscious about sitting alone.
The next time, she went to the café with a friend who knew all about her issues. Jenna felt anxious at first and even told me later that having her friend there had made her feel as though she should eat only half of her meal. She stuck to the plan and left the restaurant satisfied—but half an hour later, she wrote in her journal that she wanted to eat a whole chocolate cake. She had learned from keeping her food and mood journal in Diet Rehab that eating in public was one of her worst triggers. But then she looked at her meal plan and knew she could have a snack in two hours’ time. Jenna relaxed and the chocolate cake remained on the store shelf.
After three weeks her body was stabilizing. She felt hungry at mealtimes and was then hugely relieved to find she was allowed to just eat a meal without guilt. Later in the evenings she felt that she didn’t need to binge. She was satisfied. Leaving the daily guilt cycle behind, she began to feel better about herself and she saw herself as less isolated and more like other “normal” people.
By now, Jenna could eat in a restaurant without panicking. In fact, she went to a work lunch and instead of avoiding food in front of her intimidating clients and then gorging on fries afterward, she ate a healthy lunch and stuck to her plan.
Of course the triggers were still in Jenna’s life. Her ex-boyfriend still haunted her. To Jenna, the way her relationship had ended confirmed the fear that she wasn’t good enough. But now, with the self-esteem-boosting work she had done, Jenna saw that she had options. She could go on a dinner date and she could let a man fully into her life. She no longer had anything to hide. Knowing that she was no longer trapped in her secret binge-eating behavior gave Jenna the freedom to enjoy herself, while eating regular healthy meals reset Jenna’s behavior and boosted her brain chemistry. Her increased serotonin and dopamine levels ensured that her mood stayed on an even keel.
Jenna lost five pounds over her twenty-eight days of Diet Rehab and has been slowly and steadily losing the next fifteen pounds toward her goal weight of 145 pounds. What was most surprising to Jenna was that she actually lost weight over the course of twenty-eight days, even though she was not allowed to skip any meals or even so much as a snack! Jenna had spent most of her life starving herself for half the week or more. It seemed ironic to her that by eating normally, she actually
lost
weight. But this is exactly what happens.
Why Am I Like This?
 
Binge eaters generally experience the world as a very intense place. They are often creative, deeply sensitive, intuitive types who are likely to have strong emotional reactions. These individuals often feel “different” or isolated due to their sensitivity and are prone to low feelings as a result. They might self-medicate with drugs, alcohol, or food, or simply isolate themselves from situations that they fear will provoke bad feelings. That’s partly because someone who tries to self-medicate with a substance has never fully learned how to self-soothe. Where someone else might say, “You can handle this” or “You’re better than that,” the low-serotonin-and-dopamine binge eater doesn’t have the brain chemical support or the childhood training to get through a challenging experience without a self-medicating binge.
Of course, the sensitivity that leads to these intense feelings also leads to artistic, political, and spiritual insight. Great artists, poets, musicians, and writers all share this trait, as do many spiritual leaders and humanitarians. Managing the low points of this sensitivity is important, however, and part of that is seeking a supportive plan that works for you. Diet Rehab, with its support for your brain chemistry and its booster activities, can help you find both the chemical and personal support you need.
The serotonin and dopamine booster foods listed on page 204 in Chapter 12 and on page 219 in Chapter 13 will help replenish your brain chemistry, which should ease the need to binge. In this chapter, I’ll also provide you with a range of approaches that can assist you in making calmer and less impulsive choices. The first step is to find out what role bingeing has in your eating habits. Take the following quiz to find out.
Am I a Binge Eater?
 
Take a look at the following list. Circle every item that applies to you.
1. I feel guilty, depressed, or ashamed after eating.
2. I eat to the point of feeling uncomfortably full or even of being in pain.
3. I eat what most people would consider a very large amount of food in a short amount of time.
4. I eat a large amount of food when I’m not physically hungry.
5. I avoid social situations where food is present.
6. When I eat, I’m often not truly satisfied, even when I eat a lot.
7. I attribute nearly all my success or failure to my weight.
8. I feel powerless around food.
9. I quite often feel very down on myself.
10. I feel a lack of control when I begin eating.
11. I enter a trancelike state when I begin eating.
12. I feel quite disconnected from my body sometimes.
13. I berate myself in front of the mirror a lot.
14. After a binge, I will compensate by restricting the amount of food I will eat the next meal or next day.
15. I often eat in front of the TV.
16. I eat very rapidly.
17. I’ve noticed I’ll crave my favorite pitfall foods when something unpleasant has happened.
18. Most of my eating occurs late at night.
19. I eat very little food during the day.
20. I sometimes feel overwhelmingly sad before eating.
21. My binges occur in private because I’m embarrassed about how much I eat.
22. I have ritual foods that I will obtain to binge on.
23. I feel anxious once I begin thinking about obtaining my foods and my upcoming binge, but I feel that I can’t do anything to stop it.
24. I pretend that the food I buy is not all for me in some way, such as going to different drive-through restaurants or telling the takeout people that I’ll need more than one set of utensils.
25. I hoard foods—especially high-calorie, high-fat pitfall foods.
If you checked any of these, you may have difficulty with binge eating, which probably indicates either low serotonin, low dopamine, or, in many cases, both. The interventions outlined in this chapter will help you to gradually let go of these difficulties. If your binge eating is excessive, and if you find yourself unable to make even slight changes, consult a mental health professional for screening and treatment of binge-eating disorder. If you are currently suffering from anorexia or bulimia, be aware that these are potentially life-threatening disorders that need immediate, professional treatment. See a mental health professional or go to my website—
www.drmikedow.com
—for treatment referrals.
Ride the Wave
 
Think of your hunger as an overpowering wave that you want to learn to ride. When you introduce regular, planned eating, it’s as though you’re learning to surf and learning how to paddle. When you skip meals, it’s as though you’re helplessly hanging out on your board in the ocean. When the wave comes, you’re not paddling, so it knocks you off your board and you’re swept into the proverbial undertow of binge eating.
By contrast, people who eat regular meals are always paddling, so when their waves come, they surf them. Their waves are manageable, while for you, skipping meals leaves you open to drowning.
That’s why I don’t want you to think of yourself as “on a diet” or to allow yourself to feel deprived in any way. You’ll be vulnerable to binges and will let the wave ride you instead of you riding it.
 
What’s Your Trigger?
 
In a study on binge eating, researchers discovered twelve main triggers:
Tension—91 percent
Eating something—84 percent
Being alone—78 percent
Craving specific foods—78 percent
Thinking about food—75 percent
Going home—72 percent
Feeling bored and lonely—59 percent
Feeling hungry—44 percent
Drinking alcohol—44 percent
Going out with someone who might be a romantic partner—25 percent
Going to a party—22 percent
Think about your own triggers and write them down. It’s important to be mindful of when you’re most vulnerable, and it will also allow you to combat your triggers with booster activities. When you fill your life with things that promote healthy relationships while decreasing isolation and loneliness, you’ll find that your triggers won’t be as powerful. And, of course, booster foods eaten at regularly scheduled meals and snack times will help you to no longer be a prisoner to food and bingeing.
Compulsive Eaters Come in All Shapes and Sizes
 
Weight and binge eating are not really related. Most binge eaters are not overweight, and most obese people—some 90 to 95 percent—don’t binge.
 
Be Kind to Yourself
 
If you binge, you may also have trouble asserting yourself. You might feel that you are never good enough. You may have standards that are quite high, and that you believe you do not meet. And you might isolate yourself from people or situations in which you would find yourself feeling as though you had fallen short or even failed.
That’s why I’d like you to be as kind as possible to yourself, adding booster activities and foods and giving yourself all the support you can manage. Treat your state of mind as you would an innocent child. Recognize that your impulses are triggered by feeling low and, when you’re mean to yourself, you feel lower.
I also want to encourage you to set achievable goals. Don’t focus on the big picture of what you’d someday like to do. Pick something to accomplish this week. This is important both for weight-loss goals and for other tasks. Small, steady, measurable gains will make you feel better about yourself, your life, and your ability to succeed. Set yourself up for success by choosing this approach.
Breaking the Cycle of Fear and Fat
 
Often, if you binge, you’re actually scared of food, because you think that the food itself will cause you to binge. You find yourself feeling paralyzed, thinking of food at every turn, terrified of the feelings that you might experience just from being around food.

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