Dirty Little Secrets (28 page)

“Do you think a judge will give custody to a man who has put a gun to my head and who beat me throughout our relationship?
I don’t think so.”

“So what if I did those things?” Brian said arrogantly. “You’ll never be able to prove it. And if you think you can get Melanie
or one of those other dizzy-ass broads to testify on your behalf, dead it. Leon has those dumb bitches so wrapped, they don’t
move without his permission. Enjoy these last few weeks with our son, because soon he’ll be calling the next chick Mama and
you’ll be a distant memory.”

(Ladies, it is true what they say: God bless the child who’s got his own. You really need to have your own. I don’t care how
much money your husband or baby daddy or boyfriend has. It doesn’t make a damn difference. You need money to fight money.
It’s as simple as that. If you don’t have money, you can’t fight to get any money. You know that saying, Innocent until proven
broke? Because there is such a thin line between love and hate, if a man still has feelings for you and he still cares, he
will do anything to make you miserable because he is miserable. With Brian, I was dealing with a psycho who was chipped. There
is nothing worse than that. If I had my own paper, I could tell him to go fuck himself and think nothing of it.)

I tossed and turned the whole night, replaying the revolting threats Brian made against me. I was staring into the eyes of
evil when I listened to his bold-faced intimidation tactics. It blew my mind that this was the same man I had believed I was
in love with. Now he was plotting to take away my son, a baby he didn’t pay a single expense for. All he had tried to do for
the last several months was bring me down, emotionally and physically. He was
cold and calculating, not giving a damn about what was best for our son. The Brian I thought I knew was dead, and a monster
had emerged. As I watched Christian sleep, I found comfort in how peaceful and pure he was. He gave me strength to fight,
to realize that although Brian seemed to be winning the battles, the most important thing was for me to win the war.

As I said before, we all must fight battles and face obstacles in life that we sometimes feel we can’t endure. But as the
saying goes, “If it doesn’t kill you, it will make you stronger.” I believe that statement is true to life because when you
are going through a war with someone, it’s the battles that eat away at you little by little. You start off tall and sturdy,
but if you are not made of a strong and durable substance, then piece by piece you will crumble and eventually break down.
In most cases people want to give up because the likelihood of defeat is too great and the fear overrides their motivation
to succeed. But when someone is kicking you hard, you have to reach deep down inside and uncover the strength we are all born
with. I knew with every bullet Brian fired at me, that that was one less shot I had to dodge. If I kept bobbing and weaving,
eventually he would run out of ammunition. That fact is what kept me pushing forward every time I wanted to give in.
When I was walking out the door, my phone rang. It was Ella. “Hi, Tyler, I know you’re probably in a rush, but I wanted to
wish you good luck today.”

“Thanks so much for calling, Ella. I needed that.”

“Of course, I’m your big sister. I’m always rooting for you. Just remember that everything happens for a reason, and you will
get through this stronger than ever.”

“You really think so, Ella?” I said, not feeling as confident as I hoped.

“Positive. Tyler, you’ve grown so much, and your heart is in the right place. Keep your head held up high and know that I’m
praying for you.”

“Ella, thank you, and I love you.”

“I love you too.”

When I arrived in court I saw, as promised, Brian had brought along his well-prepared witness list, which included the ever-so-down-ass
chick Courtney, the ever-so-loyal partner Leon, some wannabe lead singer of his girl group Divas, and some two-bit players
who consisted of industry groupies, label flunkies, and well-paid assistants. I was hoping that if it came down to it, the
truth would speak for itself and the judge wouldn’t fall for the circus show that Brian and his attorney wanted to put on.
I was ready for the next chapter of my life. My greatest concern was getting custody of Christian.

While Richard was going over all the paperwork that Ted Armstrong had submitted, it was revealed that Brian had hired a private
investigator to be all in my personal business. What he conjured up was more lies that Brian fed him. He claimed that in checking
my phone records, he discovered I was fucking a player from the Washington Wizards for money. The thought flashed in
my mind that if I was, I wouldn’t be in such dire straits financially.

“Although these are all lies, how damaging is this stuff?” I asked Richard.

“Tyler, it’s not good. Brian has used all his financial resources to paint you as the harlot from hell. In all my many years
of practice I’ve never seen a man go through so much trouble to depict a woman in such a foul manner. You would think you
were seeking half of his past and future earnings, instead of what your son is entitled to, which is child support.”

“Richard, take this,” I said sternly, handing him an envelope.

“What’s this?”

“Take a moment and open it before you go in the judge’s chambers.”

“Tyler, I really don’t have time. The judge will be calling for us any minute.”

“Make time. It’s worth it.”

Richard asked the court clerk for a few extra minutes, and he excused himself to another room. I was hoping things wouldn’t
come to this, but Brian was playing for keeps. He was determined to ruin my life and that of my son by removing me from Christian’s
life. His lies were relentless and his behavior erratic. He left me no choice but to pull out all the stops and protect what
was mine. Brian stood across from me in his seven-thousand-dollar Valentino suit, speaking to his overpaid, crooked attorney
and making haughty smirks. He believed he had the case all sewn up. That overconfident sonofabitch deserved to rot in hell.

“Why are you just giving me this now?” my attorney asked, seeming somewhat irritated.

“Richard, you startled me.” I was so fixated on observing
Brian and his obnoxious attorney, that I hadn’t seen Richard walking toward me.

“I’m sorry but, Tyler, why would you sit on this type of information?”

“It was going to be my last resort. Do you really think I want to air all my dirty laundry in a courtroom in front of a bunch
of strangers? But Brian is leaving me no choice. I have to protect my son because his father is a borderline sociopath.”

“You’ve been recording your conversations with Brian ever since you were four months pregnant, and you have printed out documentation
from e-mails and two-way messages he sent you. You have every promise he made and broke, and every threat he is playing out.
Some of this stuff is criminal. If a judge hears a word of this, Brian will be lucky to get supervised visitations. How in
the world did you know back then that you would need this sort of ammunition?”

“I suppose I was lied to and deceived one too many times. I was hoping that Brian would have a change of heart and do the
right thing on his own, but he has shown me he has no conscience. I don’t believe any woman truly wants to bring down the
father of her child, but when your back is pushed against the wall, you have no choice.”

“Well, excuse me, Tyler, I have some negotiating to do,” Richard said, shaking my hand and heading toward Ted Armstrong. Brian
still wore the same smirk that I wanted to smack off just a few minutes earlier. Now I actually pitied him.

When I was a little girl, my father once said, “Beware of the fork in the road; sometimes the hunter gets captured by the
game.” Brian was caught, and he didn’t even know it yet. But in a few minutes, he would be well aware of his fate.

After fifteen minutes both attorneys appeared, and the
grievous look on Ted Armstrong’s face said it all. From the short distance I saw the once condescending look on Brian’s face
turn to pure devastation. His normal glowing cinnamon complexion was now hollow and gray.

“Congratulations, Tyler. You have outsmarted us all. I gave Ted Armstrong until Friday morning to present a credible offer,
or we will be more than happy to go before the judge,” Richard said, delighted by his victory.

“Thank you, Mr. Dunn.”

“Tyler, you should be ecstatic. You’ve won! I guarantee you’ll be more than pleased with the settlement deal I will get for
you. By the way, what’s with this Mr. Dunn? Call me Richard.”

“I haven’t won anything. My son isn’t a prize. He’s actually the one who will suffer and get the short end of the stick. He
will grow up with two parents who will forever be at odds. No one wins in a situation like this, except the attorneys. And
by the way, I won’t be calling you Richard. Mr. Dunn keeps it impersonal. Have a good day.”

As I walked out of the courthouse furious at how attorneys care only about the bottom line, Brian grabbed my arm and said
modestly, “I underestimated you. I can honestly say I never saw it coming. Is it true what they say? When a man is sleeping,
a woman is thinking?”

“I don’t know, Brian. I haven’t given it much thought.”

“Tyler, is it too late to say sorry?”

I chuckled for a second before saying, “Brian, the only reason you’re sorry is because you didn’t get what you wanted. You
were willing to destroy the mother of your son because of an overinflated ego. But no matter what you have done this past
year, I’m not mad at you. What started off as your curse ended up being my salvation. I finally love me, not because of admiration
from a
man but because of the admiration I have for myself. I’m truly every woman.” I walked down the stairs not even bothering to
read the expression on Brian’s face. His ideas were meaningless and held no importance to my newfound freedom. As the cold
breeze hit my face, the self-love inside warmed me up. This journey had truly made me discover how to embrace all of my Dirty
Little Secrets.

“Cheers,” Chrissie said as we toasted what they insisted was a victory. Cynthia White, T-Roc’s mother, and Ella were also
in attendance at our celebratory dinner at Spice Market, a hot restaurant in Manhattan’s meatpacking district.

“I have something to say to the woman of the hour,” Mrs. White said, banging the spoon on her champagne glass. “You know you’ve
always been special to me, Tyler, and it broke my heart to see that man put you through hell. But with sheer determination
you came out on top. I’m so proud of you. God has blessed you with a beautiful baby, and I know whatever dreams you want to
fulfill, no one will keep them out of your reach.”

“Thank you. That means the world to me,” I cooed as I gave Mrs. White a hug.

“My turn, my turn.” Ella yelped. Then standing up, she said, “You are my baby sister, and I always felt that I had to protect
you.
But in the last year you’ve grown up overnight into a woman I truly admire and respect. I know the decisions you’ve made weren’t
easy, and the average woman would’ve broken down and folded. But not you, Tyler. You fought for what you wanted and believed
in, and that makes you a winner. I love you, little sis, and I hope to grow up to be just like you…. Oh, before I forget,
Mother sends her best and wishes she could be here, but she’s out sealing the deal for husband number three.” We all burst
out laughing.

“Wait, I have something to say,” Chrissie said humbly. “Growing up in Temecula, California, if someone had told me my best
friend was going to be a black woman from Atlanta, Georgia, I’d have laughed in their face. But not only are you my best friend,
Tyler, you’re my sister. We’ve both gone through so much since—as you like to put it—‘just got off the bus,’ but it has all
been worth it because we have a bond that will last for the rest of our lives. We’re family.”

“Yes, we are.” I hugged Chrissie and said, “You all are my family. Not only are we bonded by love, we’re bonded as women.
Each of you has been a part of my support system, and if I didn’t have your strength, I couldn’t have gotten through this.
Every woman needs support and understanding from other women, because as a team we are so much more powerful than if we stand
alone. The three of you are my team. I hope that other women are blessed enough to have the same all-star lineup that I have.”

“To that, we need another bottle of champagne.
Waiter!
” Chrissie screamed.

Months had passed and I was finally at peace with my life. Driving down River Road with the sunroof back and blasting track
fourteen of Jay-Z’s classic
Black Album
on an unseasonably
warm day, I felt alive. This was the first time in so long that I had no man to answer to about what Tyler wanted. I had the
power to decide what I wanted to do and who, if anybody, I wanted to be with. I like to think of myself as an optimistic person,
but my disastrous encounters with men had tarnished my views on relationships. I no longer trusted the ideals of loyalty and
commitment. I’d seen too much and been through too much to think otherwise. But the pink in me hadn’t given up all hope. I
was waiting for that special man to walk up to me with a sign on his head reading, God Sent Me to You. But until then I decided
to focus on my career, and felt it was time to now pursue my dreams and aspirations. The blueprint to my path was a little
shaky, but I wanted to pursue my dream of becoming an actress—not just an actress but a movie star. I wasn’t eighteen years
old anymore and just getting off the bus, but I felt that I had talent. And if you put your mind to anything and focus, no
goal is out of reach.

I enrolled in an acting workshop to get my creative juices flowing. I had a fabulous teacher, who immediately took to me.
She told me that I had incredible natural talent and should continue to nurture it. Between giving all my love to Christian
and studying monologues and the history of Hollywood, I barely had time to realize that I hadn’t been intimate with a man
in over a year. It was very empowering though, because I knew if I wanted to, I could have a different man in my bed every
night. But I chose not to. Mother used to tell me that when you sleep with a man, whatever is inside of him goes into you,
and whatever is inside of you goes into him. In the past I had given my body to men who weren’t worthy. Now I decided that
I was holding on to all my positive energy. Any man I slept with would have to be able to have positive energy to give me,
because like they say, “Fair exchange isn’t robbery.”