Authors: Kim Black
Chapter Four
“Follow your instincts. That’s where true wisdom manifests itself.”
~ Oprah Winfrey ~
EMILY
I almost expected Julien to run after me, begging me to hear him out but he didn’t. He just simply stood there as I stormed out of the mansion. I wasn’t sure if I would have listened to him had he done so, but he didn’t even try and that hurt.
I had called Suzie to come and pick me up once I got outside, realizing that I had no way to get home and no clothes to get home with. Thankfully she only took ten minutes to get to me but not before I saw
someone pull into Julien’s driveway in a white Lamborghini.
The wife!
Even before she stepped out of the car I hated her
, but when she opened the car door and I saw how gorgeous she was, I hated her even more. Yeah I knew it wasn’t her fault but it didn’t matter, she was his wife. She was a big reminder that I didn’t have a chance with him and never did.
Did I really want a chance with him?
She was elegant and poise
d as she walked into the house, without knocking. I guess she lived with him.
Of course they live together Emily, he’s married!
When Suzie pulled up
a few minutes later, I didn’t even bother with pleasantries; I just climbed into the passenger side and told her to drive.
“Umm… Em, where the heck
are your clothes girl? Did Frenchman rip you right out of them?” she teased, still not driving, looking at me as if whatever I was going to say next would make her day.
I didn’t want to go into the long story of what happened. I just needed to get away from this house, from any memory involving him. I could feel my tears burning my eyes
and threatening to fall, but I pushed them back as best I could.
“Just drive Suzie, please…
just drive…” was all I managed to say.
Suzie must have noticed the sadness in my voice because she didn’t say another word, as she placed the
car into drive and peeled off.
Thanks Suzie.
We were quiet for the entire ride, as I laid my head against the window, thinking about the woman who I had seen entering Julien’s house. I knew I wasn’t an ugly girl, but she was stunning in every way. She had an obvious carefree attitude about her that I envied, especially now. What I wouldn’t give to have been able to see that text message and dismiss it, not caring at all because it didn’t faze me. But, I couldn’t… I was hurting, much worse than the hurt I had experienced with Adam, which I couldn’t understand. It was only one night...
When we arrived a
t my place, Suzie turned toward me, seemingly hesitant to speak.
“So
, what happened Em?” she asked, her eyes sorrowful.
I let out a long sigh and decided that it was best to just let it out. At least then I can see if I overreacted although I was pretty sure I hadn’t. What woman wouldn’t throw a fit at the realization that the only man who had captivated her body in a way that she never knew possible was married and hadn’t told her? The same man who had begged and pleaded for her to be with him, stay with him… How else would a woman respond?
“He’s… married Suzie…” I murmured, trying my best to hold it together but failed. The tears had returned and I was now sobbing into my dear friends shoulder. “How could he be married and make love to me?”
“I’
m sorry Em… this is my fault. If I hadn’t pushed you into leaving with him then this wouldn’t have happened. I’m so sorry,” she softly said against my head as she continued to hug me.
“It’s not… he’s the dude with the freaking wife… how the heck were we to know that!”
“Well if you want, I could easily head back there and go ham on his car for ya, and you know I would!” she said humorously, causing me to giggle softly.
I was always able to count on my friends to make me feel better. Diana and Suzie were always my support
ers and I wasn’t sure what I would do without them.
“Do
n’t tempt me Suzie or I just might let you do that,” I said smiling and pulling away.
Suzie
decided she would stick around my place to keep me company and keep my mind off of Julien. I told her that all I wanted to do was go to bed, but she insisted on staying anyway.
The minute I got into my room I freed myself of the smell of Julien, throwing his
without a doubt expensive, soft robe into the trash and throwing on a t-shirt and shorts instead.
Finally.
It didn’t take me long to fall asleep but after thirty minutes of slumber, Diana burst into my room.
“He has a wife!” she screeched, as she plunged onto my bed, instantly waking me up.
“What are you doing here Diana,” I muttered grumpily, throwing the sheets over my head.
“Suzie called and told me what happened. I can’t believe he’s married. Are you ok?” she asked, tugging on the sheets.
“Yes Diana, I’m great… I’m perfect in fact but you know what would make me feel even better? Sleep! Now get o
ut and let me rest…” I screamed. I wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings but I realized that I did when I heard her sigh. I sat up on the bed, “I promise we’ll talk later, I just need to forget for now… please understand,” I pleaded.
“I understand Em… I know it’s not personal. You forget I was around you when Adam cheated…” she said as she pulled the sheets back over me, giving me a kiss on my forehead, smiling as she walked away.
I didn’t deserve her friendship, I knew that but I was grateful that she knew me so well, I thought as I laid my head back on my pillow, willing myself but to sleep. Within minutes, I was dead to the world around me, and dead to Julien, at least until I woke up.
EMILY
The sound of my phone singing ‘Beautiful’ by Christina Aguilera pulled me out of my slumber. Glancing at the clock, I realized it was after seven, I had slept the whole day away and for a split second I had forgotten all that had happened this morning, but as I sat up in search of my phone, the events came flooding back into remembrance, and along with it came a sharp gut wrenching pain and traces of guilt. I had slept with someone’s husband. I was a home wrecker, a whore… I of course didn’t set out to be any of these things but that’s what the Frenchman had made me. Yes, I said Frenchman; I didn’t want to remember his name anymore.
I climbed out of bed and fetched my purse from the corner of my room, retrieving
my phone. I had several missed calls, some voicemails and a few text messages, all from one person… The Frenchman!
I stared at the phone debating whether I should bother listening to his messages. There was really nothing left to say. He had cheated on his wife and lied to me, omitting vital information that would
have without a doubt, changed the outcome of the last twenty four hours.
The door opened and I saw Suzie peak her head through, “I heard you moving around. Are you ok?”
I sighed, lifting up the phone to her, “He called, left voicemails and texted.” I glanced down at the phone in my hands confused by the duality of emotions running through me.
“You gonna hear him out?” she asked in the smallest voice possible.
It was obvious that Suzie felt guilty for encouraging me to leave with Julien last night but it wasn’t her fault. Julien hadn’t been wearing a wedding ring and it was his imposing on my night that caused her to believe it was a good idea to leave with him. It was his fault… and mines as well. I saw that look in his face and yet I allowed myself to sleep with him anyway. That would never happen again.
“Not sure yet…” I responded, never breaking eye conta
ct with the object in my hands.
On one hand he didn’t deserve to be heard out after putting me in this position and on the other ha
nd… last night had been amazing. Maybe there was a plausible reason for him not telling, although for the life of me I couldn’t think of one good reason as to why he wouldn’t have told me, or better yet why he would even approach me knowing all along that he was a married man, a man that had been vowed to another.
With that thought I erased all his
voice messages, texts, and cleared my call history, without bothering to listen to or read any of them. All that he needed to say to me now should have been said before and he didn’t deserve an opportunity to lessen any guilt he might have felt, if he felt any at all.
Suzie walked up behind me and pulled me into her arms, “I’m sorry Em.”