Discovering Dalton (Manchester Menage Collection #2) (33 page)

“Symbiotic,” Liam finished off for him. “It’s jealousy, fear, apprehension about the unknown. We’ve only ever really had the other to depend on. Yeah, there was our foster parents, but what we had, it was much closer than the type of love we felt for them.”

Dalton nodded. Without knowing everything they went through, he could still grasp from the bits of information he’d gotten from both of them how much they would mean to each other having lived through what they did at an early age.

“The thing is this…” Troy paused, biting his bottom lip while he considered what to say next. “Liam’s happiness is more important to me than my own, and, even though we connected in a way I've never done with anyone else, Dalton, I can't be the one to take you away from Liam.”

Dalton’s breath became shorter, the tightness in his chest aching already. Liam was the first to respond to his small signs and he moved beside Dalton, wrapping a heavy arm over his shoulder and holding him tightly. “Get him a glass of water, T.”

Troy rushed off and Dalton tried to stop the panic rising further by clinging onto Liam’s hand. He couldn’t let Troy walk away, but then the option of Liam being hurt made him feel sick.

“I can't do this,” Dalton breathed out.

Liam tightening his hold. “It’s okay, Dee. Don’t feel like this. Don’t let the pressure build up.”

“Liam… do you even want me? Do you want this relationship? Do you want to be with me and see Troy hurt?” Dalton held his head in his hands, breathing faster. “You just said not three days ago why we couldn’t work out, and that was because of Troy. You think it will be any easier now? Just let me go and let this end.”

Liam kissed the back of his neck, sending shock waves of need through Dalton’s entire body. “Dee, that’s going to break you in half, Baby. You can't do that. You can't be without us both.”

“But I can't be with you either. I can't. How can I be?” Dalton turned to him, catching hold of his shoulders and leaning in, kissing his lips tenderly, the memory of all their previous kisses flickering through his mind as he pulled back and looked into those brown eyes. “How can me and Troy go on with this between us?”

“How can you and I go on with this thing between you and Troy? I don’t know. I don’t have the answers you need to hear, Dee.”

Troy sat on the other side of Dalton, patting his back as he offered a glass of water to Dalton. “Panic attacks?”

“Yeah,” Liam whispered out against the back of Dalton’s neck. “Sit back, Dee, and have a drink.”

Troy smiled hesitantly at Dalton when their eyes met. “I had them, still have them… Not so often, but I know what you're going through.” Troy watched Dalton sip the water, then turned his attention back to Liam. “You never answered his first question, Liam. Do you want a relationship with him? Is this real, are you prepared to give up the old way of life and be with just him?”

Dalton and Troy looked to Liam, his gaze moving from Troy to Dalton. “I would change for you. I'd be prepared to change a lot and just see where we’d go. There’s still no certainty it would work out. With everything going on in your life right now, I'm not even sure a new relationship is a good thing. You're the rebound guy.” Liam rolled his eyes. “You're not out, you're not sure you even want me. Despite all that, I'm willing to give it a go, but I won't lie to you, this thing with Troy, it’s freaking me out, and not just because I'm hurt over you seeing someone else and that someone else turning out to be the only person I call family in my life, but because you're not fully invested in us. In the idea of us.”

“I didn’t know there could be an us. You were sure it wouldn’t happen, I was confused and agreed. It wasn’t until later when I met Troy that I knew this sort of relaxed relationship which centred on just sex wasn’t for me. And I know we have so much more than sex, Liam, I see that. You're the only person I've wanted in my life for the past month, and I'm going to be forever grateful for you being there when I felt like I couldn’t turn to anyone else. I've missed you so much these past few days you don’t even want to know.”

“It’s true.” Troy chuckled. “He’s been moping around and giving me all these sad faces.”

Liam smiled, a genuine one filled with hope. “I've missed you too.”

“Tell him why, Liam.” Troy was sterner now, and Liam grunted. “Just do it.”

Dalton looked between them, then sighed. “I'm not involved in this little mind reading thingy you two have, so can you please just use actual words so I feel like I'm not in the dark all the time.”

“It doesn’t matter now this has all happened.”

“It did at the bar. You said he was yours. So tell him why.”

Liam clenched his jaw, tapping his fingers on his thigh while he and Troy glared at each other. “I think you should be with Troy.”

“What?” Troy and Dalton choked out the word at the same time.

“I think you should be together, at least try it out. I'm happy as long as I've got you both as friends. I've always had my loving relationships without sex, it won't be any different for me. I’ll come home and see you two, then go elsewhere for a fu—sex.”

“By that he means he’ll bring them back here and we’ll get to hear him and his current hook-up through the thin walls.”

Dalton gulped, not sure how he could deal with hearing Liam fucking another man. Just the thought of it made him burn up, and it wasn’t with embarrassment, it was a mixture of horny need and jealousy. But then the fact Liam said he had a relationship with Troy, and it was one he obviously considered a loving one, perhaps even some confused sort of partnership which he didn’t see himself spooked Dalton even more. “I don’t know how I’d feel about that.”

“Sure you do,” Troy spoke without pause. “It’s written all over your face. You'd fucking hate it, just like I do.”

“It’s not just the other men which would bother me. Liam, you and Troy… You say you have the love and the other relationship stuff you need from him, everything but the sex… well, don’t take this wrong, but… that’s different from… brotherly.”

Liam slid his eyes to Troy, both of them doing the whole mind reading thing again before Liam spoke up. “I know.”

“Liam—” Troy was cut off quickly by Liam.

“I've said this for years, Troy. Dalton gets it in one little conversation. You seem to hide from the truth.”

“Are you in love with him?” Dalton sat back, too stunned by what was going on to really react.

Liam went quiet, hanging his head in his hands and sighing. “While you and I were apart, I realised something. I realised it as soon as you said you’d met someone else. I've spent the last few days wallowing in self-pity and anger, aimed at myself, not you. I realised I loved you.”

All three sat in silence, Dalton being the only one out of all three of them hearing this and being in shock. Obviously Troy had guessed.

Liam took in a deep breath, looking down at his boots tapping on the floor. “I have been it seems for a while. I've always liked you. Always wondered if you and I could ever be together. I guess waiting and thinking nothing would ever come of it, I didn’t look too deeply into my feelings, but when I held you for the first time, when I realised we could have more, I know now I had strong feelings for you.

“I do love you, Dalton, which is why this is so difficult for me, but what’s even harder is saying this to you.” He shot a quick glance at Troy, Dalton saw him pale, shaking his head as he moved further from them. “I realised when I understood how I felt for you, and I saw what being in love actually felt like, I'd had those emotions for a long time for someone else. I'd been in love with Troy for as long as I can remember. I never had anything to compare it to. Love wasn’t something I had in my life, and I just thought… I thought it was brotherly. I was wrong, but I would never have seen how wrong I was if I didn’t fall for you, Dalton.”

Dalton couldn’t move, but he felt Troy vibrating next to him, so Dalton forced himself to move, placing a hand onto his lap and gripping it tightly. Troy took Dalton’s hand in his as they both stared at Liam.

“So, you're in love with both of us?” Dalton whispered hesitantly.

“Yes.” Liam had never sounded more confident about anything before, and Dalton believed him without question.

“And yet you're willing to let
both
of us go?” Troy stood up, glaring angrily down at Liam.

“I didn’t say that.” Liam stood up, trying to calm his… not brother… his… Troy. “I said you and Dalton would be together and I would come home and be with you here, just not in the bedroom.”

“So, what you're saying is, we’d be just like we are but with one other person in the mix?” Troy arched a brow, shaking his head and flapping his lovely brown locks over his face. “You'd be in love with us, watching us move on without you. We’d all live together knowing how you felt for us and be okay with that, just having you as the third roommate, but not anything else?” Troy and Dalton had a second to judge how the other felt with one look, and Dalton shared Troy’s concern. He couldn’t do that to Liam. “How cruel do you think we are? We couldn’t do that to you, Liam.”

“What’s the other option, T? That we all go our separate ways and none of us be happy?”

Troy and Liam stood chest to chest, both breathing harshly while Dalton looked on, and then, so quietly he could barely hear himself, he spoke up.

“What if we didn’t have to choose?” Both of them looked at him and he cleared his throat. “What if we could all sort of… give it a go together, at the same time? No you and me, no Troy and me, just… us.”

“Us?” Liam was about to say something else, but he stopped himself abruptly, several different emotions visible on his handsome features, but all passing so quickly Dalton couldn’t list them in time before he sighed, turning his attention back toward Troy.

A silent moment passed, one where they just stood still, each one glaring into the other’s eyes, then Troy hissed, stepping back and fisting his hands beside him as he found his voice. “All of us in a relationship? What? No. How would that even work?”

“However we wanted it to, I guess,” Dalton offered quietly. “There are options to consider. Not all of them conventional to a ménage relationship—not that I'm some sort of expert on them, but perhaps for us, right now, it would be what we needed. I mean…” Dalton should have thought longer about selling this idea. “Perhaps we could think about it.” Dalton hid behind his glass of water while they both scrutinised him from above.

“I dunno.” Troy was apparently totally unconvinced, and to be honest, Dalton couldn’t really argue with that response. After all, his sales pitch—if it could be called that—wasn’t exactly stirring and positive.

When Dalton slid his eyes to Liam, he saw he didn’t share that feeling. He appeared to be considering it thoughtfully. For the first time since they'd laid eyes on each other that evening, Dalton and Liam connected, sharing their own unspoken words and a soft smile appearing on both of their lips.

Troy whined before wrapping his arms on top of his head. “You
cannot
be serious, Liam. You're considering this?”

It wasn’t often Liam contemplated a situation seriously, and Dalton and Troy seemed to share this knowledge, because Troy took on a more reasonable attitude, and let Liam speak his mind. “I guess I was prepared to be in a ménage from the start. It just involved me being an onlooker, but I think I like Dalton’s idea more.”

In theory, Dalton considered his ménage option a good way to move on. In reality, it might have been the stupidest way to resolve their problem, but Dalton knew one thing for sure. “I can't choose between you. I just can't. I want you both. Troy, you need Liam in your life, and Liam’s in love with you, I'm not totally convinced that’s one sided.”

Troy huffed loudly, flicking a strand of hair from his face. “I have enough issues right now to think about, thanks anyway.”

“I want to try, Troy.” Liam held his hand softly and tilted his chin up so they met eye to eye. “There’s a few options, and we don’t have to have anything other than what we have right now, except we’d have Dalton to love, and hopefully one day, he’d love us back.”

Dalton smiled softly. “It could be good, Troy.”

“It could be really good, Troy.” Liam had that sexy smirk on his lips and both Dalton and Troy huffed at the same time making Liam laugh.

It didn’t surprise Dalton Liam would be the one thinking about sex, but Dalton had no plans in his head in that direction. It could be an exceptionally stupid suggestion, and it all could go spectacularly wrong, but Dalton had learned a lot in the recent months.

Never hold back what your heart wanted. It knew before your head what direction you should go in, and for the first time in Dalton's life, he was following his heart.

Dalton couldn’t decide between them, and he couldn’t continue without either of them, but he couldn’t play a part in splitting them up either, and hadn't he thought how beautiful it would be to have both of them in his life, his bed?

Dalton suddenly joined Liam in the dirty thoughts section, cock jerking in his jeans and the heat passing over him like fire. Shit!

Chapter
36

W
hen Dalton offered to leave them both alone to talk things through, Troy agreed quickly when Liam said he wanted Dalton to stay. After all, it wasn’t like everything had been resolved and they were okay moving on. Instead, Troy said he wanted to take some time out and have a cool shower to freshen up, leaving them both to chat in the lounge.

He could sense neither of them wanted him to go, but they weren’t going to move as one unit all of a sudden just because of some idiotic ménage idea. He needed space, not much of it. Okay, yes, Troy hated time alone and Liam more than anyone knew this, but having twenty minutes to shower and change wasn’t like he was doing anything differently from normal.

As he stripped off his dirty clothes in the bathroom, he thought about the whole ménage idea. Troy was sceptical to say the least and the biggest reason concerned Liam.

Although he’d always considered Liam as his best friend more than brother, it was still a shock to the system to go from what they had to a full on relationship, and that was without adding another man in the mix.

It had taken so long for Liam to speak those words out loud, but Troy always felt the love Liam had for him, and he knew from previous relationships what type of love it was. Troy always felt like Liam didn’t want to love him in any way other than a brother, and because of that, he’d never pushed him to speak up and be honest.

Troy knew what being in love felt like. He’d enough failures in his life to compare his feelings for Liam to, and after his first ever love affair at twenty, he knew when it was over, Liam was always going to be number one in his heart. So many times Troy looked over at Liam and wanted to ask for more, but after so many years with Liam denying what they both felt, Troy couldn’t stand to be refused. It was better to have something than nothing.

Obviously, they were in love. Everyone else seemed to see it and they’d always constantly denied or laughed off suggestions, but Troy had always beamed inside when someone thought they were together. Now it was real. Now they could be honest and talk about everything, but it wasn’t just Liam. It was Dalton too. A ménage…

Dalton had less reasons to feel concerned about Liam’s feelings, and Troy was happy Liam had found someone to love, he just didn’t expect to hear himself added into the same category moments later. There was a part of him which was totally cool about this ‘new’ declaration. Newly spoken about between them, but Troy had always felt more than just a friend to Liam, and he honestly thought Liam did too. It was hidden and discarded for so many years. It almost felt good to just get it out into the open.

Troy took his time showering, working through the list of questions which kept popping up. There were so many and his mind wasn’t really coping that well with the pressure. He felt like Liam and Dalton were good with everything and he was the deciding factor. If he said no, what then?

“Troy?” Dalton’s voice carried over the cubicle’s thin glass.

Troy opened up the door and saw him poking his head through a narrow gap. “Hey. I'm okay.”

“I know you are, I was just…”

“Checking up on me?” Troy half smiled at him. “Liam been worrying you with tales of how I don’t cope under pressure?”

“No… Yes. That’s not why I'm here, though.” Dalton moved more into the room as Troy continued to shampoo his hair. “I'm hungry. So is Liam.”

“Oh, well, if you
two
are hungry and you feel
we
should get something, then just go ahead.”

Dalton’s cerulean blue eyes focused more deeply on him. That certain sternness, which Troy now understood as his business face, leaked through and Troy scowled before turning from him, rinsing the bubbles off his head.

When he pulled back from the jets of water, Dalton was leaning against the sink, arms folded across his chest, trying not to look at Troy’s naked form. “We’ve not decided anything. Not about the food or the ménage. That’s why I'm here,
asking
what you want
before
we do anything. And that’s just about the fucking food.”

Troy stepped out of the cubicle, grabbing a towel from behind Dalton, almost smiling when he saw how red the poor guy became when his drenched body grazed his clothing. “You two are okay with this. I'm not. You’ve got it all planned out and I'm just running to catch up.” Troy was still draping a towel around his hips when Dalton stopped him from walking away. A long sigh left his mouth, but he came to a halt and looked into Dalton’s piercing gaze.

“We have nothing figured out. We're all in the same place, and until we all talk and agree, then nothing’s happening. It’s just an idea, one which could be incredibly stupid and it could make things worse between the three of us, but I want you both and I want you both in very different ways, but that doesn’t change how strongly I want you in my life. I'm not prepared to just walk away from two people who I connect so deeply to and quickly with.”

Dalton placed his fingertip lightly on Troy’s arm, following the outline of the Chinese dragon inked there. “I've spent my whole life never listening to my heart. I've always done the sensible thing, followed the rules, been the good boy, lived the average conventional life, but that’s not what I always truly wanted. If I never do it again, I’ll be happy for speaking up, because I know in here.” He tapped his heart and touched Troy’s jaw tenderly. “I’ve felt like I can't breathe ever since I met you. Finding someone like you is something I never thought I would experience, and I can't describe how powerful the urge to be with you is inside me. You’ve been on my mind for every second of every hour in every day since we met, but you haven’t been the only one there.”

Troy kissed him without thinking, just wanting those lips on his. Dalton stepped back, but he was caught between the sink and Troy’s wet body, and he gave up his little moment and kissed Troy back, eagerly running his hands over the bare, slippery skin of Troy’s back, flowing down him to his ass as they shared a soft kiss.

“You never know,” Dalton whispered against Troy’s lips. “You and Liam could see how good things are between you and just decide to go on without me. I could be setting myself up for a huge failure and shit loads of heartache, but I'm willing to try.”

“We wouldn’t hurt you like that.” Troy stood back, pressing his palms against Dalton’s firm chest. “Christ, you're the only reason he finally fessed up and said he was in love with me. Without you we’d still be living in denial.”

Dalton chuckled, kissing the side of his mouth. “You knew he was in love with you?”

“I'm not blind and I'm not retarded in some major way. I’ve been in love before. I know how I've felt over the years for him and I know how he's returned those feelings. He would always be so confident we were nothing but brothers and it would make me eyes roll so hard it hurt, but what could I do about it? I couldn’t risk cocking up what we had. I tried to move on, tried so many men, and I know they failed because of him, because ultimately I wanted them to fail.”

“And what about me?”

Troy grunted. “You were the first guy who I met who I really thought I could find that special thing with.” He sighed heavily, not wanting Dalton to be upset, but needing to say the truth. “I thought with Liam meeting this Dee…” Troy performed an epic eye roll and Dalton laughed. “Well, I could see how he was falling for him—you—and for the first time, I really questioned everything about me and him. I thought if he’d fallen for someone and was giving it a go, then I could too. We could both be happy with someone else, and stay close sort of thing. Honestly, the fact we both chose you to move on with, I shouldn’t really be that surprised.” Troy chuckled, kissing Dalton softly. “I don’t know how this is going to work out, but inside, in my heart, I feel it’s good. I don’t know how all three of us can move on. We all have our own individual issues and putting them together makes for a disaster waiting to happen in my mind.”

“Why does it have to be a disaster? Why can't it be simpler to have them all out and in the pot at the same time? Good things come in threes.” Dalton grinned down at him.

“You sure it’s not bad things?”

“I’m a positive person, what can I say?”

“What about three’s a crowd?”

“I dunno, I have this song running round my head, something to do with three being a magic number…” Dalton hummed a few bars and Troy burst out laughing. “I’m going to spend time on this issue and list things which are great in threes.”

“You do that. You obviously have too much time on your hands.”

“I’d rather have you in my hands than waste time leaving them empty.” Dalton’s eyes twinkled in a way Troy hadn’t seen much of, and he ran his fingertip down Dalton’s jaw.

“I like seeing you happy.”

“So, try this out and see me very happy.”

“Is Liam really up for this? I mean, he’s never had…” Troy paused. Okay, so they had been in a relationship for years, they just didn’t have sex, so maybe Liam wasn’t going to be the weakest link. “I was going to say he’s never had a relationship, but I'm not lying to you or myself anymore. We have a great one, whether that works out with sex or it stays the same and we share you, I'm up for trying it out.”

Dalton did some sort of happy dance on the tiles and Troy laughed so hard Liam opened the door to see what was going on. Dalton stopped dancing, clicking his fingers, the sound almost echoing in the tiled room. “Tricycles. Triangles— the strongest shape, three sides. Trilogies—best films ever!”

Troy snorted, grabbing another towel and sauntering out past Liam. “I'm hungry too. Chinese sounds great. You order my usual and I’ll be out in five.”

“Okay.” Liam paused, and then called out to him. “T, you really okay with… everything?”

“I'm okay with most of it. Other parts I have questions, but I'm guessing we have the same ones, so sometime soon we should maybe go through them. In case you're wondering, you being in love with me is one I'm good with.” He grinned at Liam’s goofy smile. “How this all works out, especially between us two, that’s what I'm unsure about.”

Dalton moved beside Liam, Liam’s arms automatically curling around his waist as they both took time to look over Troy’s gleaming body, still partially dripping to the floor. “I’ll bring him up to speed.” Dalton chuckled as he shared a look with Troy.

“Okay, be right back.” Troy rushed to his own room, happy to get both of their eyes from his body before he reacted in an obvious way and gave away how he enjoyed it way too much.

Sex with Liam had been pushed to the back of his mind. When they were younger, neither of them spoke about their sexuality. It was when Troy was sixteen and caught Liam masturbating in their shared bedroom to a gay porn mag he knew Liam was gay like him. Of course it surged through his mind that he had the perfect opportunity to work out his sexual needs and excitement. He could experience his firsts with Liam, a person he already cared for deeply, but then Liam was so angry he’d seen him, so pissed off in fact they didn’t speak for a month. It made things so difficult between them and their foster parents that Troy had felt he had to speak up about his own sexuality.

So, at sixteen they both had the most serious talk of their life, and Troy came out to Liam. It was the first time he’d said the words ‘I'm gay’ to anyone, and he felt worried and excited about it. Liam reacted badly. He didn’t even want to share a room with Troy anymore.

Troy hated it, and they’d tried to distance themselves, but they were friends, and without even discussing it, their sexuality changed things dramatically. They made a pact there and then for things to work, no sex or flirting would happen. And it worked. Sort of.

Liam and Troy would be lying if they hadn't become turned on by each other, but like many other things over the years, it passed by without comment. Recently, Troy laid in bed listening to Liam fuck random men. He’d become hard, jerked off, and again, Liam played in his thoughts, but it was never with him… Troy sighed heavily, tilting his head back and groaning. All these years he’d been thinking of a ménage with Liam. Before it was just an excuse to be with Liam. The guy in between them would be a comforting buffer, but Dalton… God, Dalton wasn’t just some buffer. Troy wanted him in a way he couldn’t grasp. Liam being with them only heated up the whole scene in his mind to an almost nuclear stage.

Troy sat on the bed, pulling on a pair of joggers and thinking about the two men who he wanted more than anyone else in the world lying beside him during the night. He’d shared nights with Liam just sleeping, comforted by him, but knowing they could actually be honest and explore more in bed, and having Dalton with them, sharing Dalton’s every first… Troy had to stop pulling up his pants and take his cock in hand, rolling his thumb over his leaking slit and moaning into his clenched fist.

He was so worked up imagining Dalton laid between them, seeing every inch of his creamy flesh displayed perfectly for both of them to feast on, he had to do something about it. Spreading his thighs, Troy looked down to his throbbing erection, wondering how long it had been since he’d been that hard. A soft smile spread over his lips when he couldn’t recall any moment being as exciting, and a grin quickly found its way onto his face as he thought about the time he would actually live out his fantasy and have them with him. How hard would he be then?

He moaned softly as he worked his loose fist up his length, working his palm over his precum before smoothing the juice down his length, rolling his heavy, full balls before reaching for his aching length with his second. He was lost in visions of Liam and Dalton, seeing Dalton on top of him, their cocks sliding against the other, a hand wrapped around Dalton's hips as Liam fingered his virgin arse open, feeling him stretch and watching his beautiful face contort in ecstasy.