Dissonance (13 page)

July

My first week in Seattle flew by in a breeze. I spent all day Sunday getting my room organized, going over some information my new boss had sent me, and taking a trip to the grocery store with Logan. He was such a typical man, acting like every aisle of the store was like some new level of Hell.

The new job was better than I could have hoped from day one. Most of my first day was spent perusing the inventory of early and special editions so that I would have a full understanding of what we had for sale, and answering a few emails.

On Wednesday, I got a call from a Seattle number I did not recognize. Turns out, Alex had actually given my number over to my pretend suitor whose preference was actually for men.

“Alexandra insisted that I take you out. She said we
had
to meet, and that you need to make your roommate jealous,” Leo explained.

“She is so overbearing,” I muttered.

Leo laughed; apparently he and Alex knew each other better than she had let on. “Well, I think we both know that she won’t drop it. So what do you say? We can do a bit of shopping maybe and get dinner. I’ll only act like a date when I pick you up. And let’s face it, you won’t have to worry about me making a move,” he jested. I was warming up to him quickly. I was already too fond of him to say no.

Wednesday evening, Logan was waiting outside of the shop when I was done with work. He’d been holding on to his assertion that public transit was not an acceptable way to get around. Instead, he insisted on driving me to and from work, altering his own schedule as needed.

On the way back to the apartment, he said, “My band has a show tomorrow night. I was hoping you’d come.”

There was an uncharacteristic shyness in his request that surprised me. “I’d love to, Logan, but I can’t. I’m sorry,” I told him. “I have plans already.”

“With who?” He didn’t ask the question aggressively, but I was still wary of answering.

“Leo.”

“Oh. Right,” he muttered. “Well… next time. I guess.”

He left almost immediately after we got back to the apartment, saying that he had practice, but I noted that he had left his acoustic guitar behind, which he never went to rehearsal without.

I called Alex once he was gone.

“Your plan seems to be backfiring, so you know,” I told her.

“What? Why?”

“Leo and I made a date for tomorrow night and then Logan invited me to–"

“Oh my God!” She cut me off. “His show! This is better than I dreamed.”

“Do you even listen when I talk? I just said that it went badly. He essentially walked out on me. All you’ve managed to do is make things awkward with my roommate, again. And for what?”

“For what?! To make him jealous like he deserves!”

“Dammit, Alex. You
don’t
listen. We won’t be anything. All you’re doing is stirring up trouble for trouble’s sake.”

She was quiet for a minute. “The two of you really are a pain. It’s like you’re both delusional.”

“What are you on about now?”

“You. You can’t fool me, honey. I have never known you to be drawn to a guy, at all. You don’t react like that. But Logan has you all over the place. You want him, and I know that it isn’t just a physical attraction. You don’t have to admit it to me, but you really should admit it to yourself, at least.”

“What will upsetting him accomplish?”

Alex was kind enough not to push my feelings. “He has probably never been rejected or had to actually pursue a woman. He’ll have a learning curve. But, he will catch on. He’ll figure out that he has to fight for you, that he has to prove himself. Right now, the goal is to make him jealous. Maybe that will make him see that despite his efforts to be ‘noble,’ he wants you.”

“Whatever you say.”

Despite my objection, I had to give in to her on two points: Alex was clearly more knowledgeable on this particular topic, and I was too attracted to Logan to convince her to stop this scheme.

I wasn’t entirely sure why I was unable to just stop it. I really was not interested in a relationship, at all, with anyone. I had dismissed the whole idea a long time ago. Still, the idea of a man like Logan fighting for me, I could not deny how appealing that seemed.

It was with all of this in mind that I got ready for my “date” on Thursday night. I decided on a black sundress with pink hydrangeas patterned on it. With sandals, and my hair loosely curled and pulled into a ponytail at my shoulder, I felt perfectly dressed for a casual date; even if I was not going on a date at all.

Logan was standing around in the kitchen when I emerged. Based on the fact that he was completely ready to head out of the door – shoes on, guitar packed, keys next to him on the counter – I surmised that he was waiting to see me off, even if it made him late. He wore perfectly fit black jeans, and a black button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to above his elbows. With his arms crossed, displaying his strong forearms and the ink that decorated one arm, I felt my pulse quicken. Something clenched low in my abdomen and all I wanted was to feel those arms close me in.

His face lost some of the aggressive quality it had when I had walked in as he looked me over. When he spoke, his voice was soft, like a caress. “You look nice.”

“Thanks. You do, too,” I answered, feeling myself blush profusely.

Leo buzzed from downstairs a moment later. I grabbed my purse and went to the door.

Logan, without making any move to check the time, said “I should get going, too. I’ll walk you down.”

In the expansive lobby, Leo was apparent immediately. He was about six feet tall; though still an inch or two shorter than Logan. He had perfectly groomed brown hair, a smoothly shaved face and a welcoming smile. He wore a blue button-up and dark blue jeans. He was the type of man that could make women lament that all of the “good ones” were taken or gay.

“Charlotte?” he asked with a million-dollar smile.

I couldn’t help but smile in return. “Hi,” I said, extending my hand to him.

He took my hand and placed a gentle kiss on the back. I wondered if he too could feel the aggression rolling off of Logan in waves.

It was clear that he could when he turned to the man that seemed ready to attack, extending his hand and saying, “Logan, it’s good to see you”

Logan shook his hand, but said nothing until he released it and turned to me, “Let me know if you need
anything
.”

I struggled for a response when he moved in to hug me. “Have a good show,” I responded lamely.

He turned and strolled a little stiffly to the garage. As he disappeared from view, Leo let out a light laugh.

“Well, I would say Alex definitely achieved her goal of making the poor guy jealous,” he said. “He was staring me down all day at the office. He does not like the idea of me moving in on what’s his.”

“I’m not his.”

“Maybe not yet, but he still doesn’t want anyone else getting you.”

There was no containing the desperate sigh that his comment elicited.

“Come on, let’s go get some food and you can tell me all about it.” He took my arm in his and led me from the lobby.

After a dinner that was too nice and that Leo would not let me contribute any money towards, I could tell that we were meant to be friends. He was so carelessly witty and charming that I couldn’t help but want to be around him. To hear him tell it, Justin was incredible, too. I couldn’t wait to meet him.

“You will,” Leo told me. “He’s going to meet us after this. Shopping is more his thing, anyway.”

Leo insisted on the shopping part after dinner. I think he could tell that if I got home early enough, I would rush out to Logan’s show, destroying the opportunity to make him sweat over what time I had finally returned from my date. According to Leo, that would be the wrong move. I could not, no matter how many times a minute I thought about it, go see him.

We parked on a city street and Leo led me to a posh little boutique that I had hardly noticed until he stopped and held the door open for me.

“A friend of mine owns this place,” he explained.

Once we were inside, we were immediately pounced on by an exuberant blonde that hardly needed introduction.

“You must by Charlotte,” he greeted brightly. “I’m Justin. I have been itching to meet you.” Suddenly, his arms were around me. I wasn’t always much of a hugger, but it was hard not to respond to Justin’s perky presence.

When he released me, Leo grabbed his arm and pulled him in for a quick kiss. The two were adorable together. In a way, they kind of reminded me of Alex and Eli. Justin was all personality, bright and excitable. Leo was the quiet, polite type, but he really brightened when his partner was in reach.

Following Justin’s lead, since I did not question his superior knowledge of fashion, we pulled several chic outfits from the racks.

“This is like a real life version of the Barbies my parents never let me have,” he told me when I’d asked why he was so excited.

Leo, on the other hand, just seemed to be going along with things because of how excited Justin was. Shopping was clearly not his favorite activity, though he was very well dressed. The two of us bonded even more as we’d wandered a few steps behind Justin, laughing at his intense perusal of the clothing on display, murmuring responses to his long-winded explanations of why or why not a certain piece would be good for my figure.

There was no denying that Justin had a great eye. Everything he pulled as flattering. When I emerged in a white dress he had picked, however, both men actually gaped. The skirt that ended about mid-thigh was airy, fanning out dramatically if I spun around, but the real defining feature was the fact that it was nearly backless. All that held the sides of the dress together were stops of fabric each other in a few places along the back.

“It is perfect. You have to get it,” Leo insisted as I inspected myself in the three-way mirror.

“I… I don’t know.”

“Why not?” Justin demanded.

“The back is… a lot,” I answered. “I feel really exposed.”

“You look like a goddess!” He replied emphatically. “It’s too incredible on you to leave it behind.”

My face burned, but I said nothing.

“Dammit, Charlotte.” Exasperated, he joined me at the mirror. Leo, sitting in a chair nearby, chuckled at his boyfriend’s sass. “Alright, I want you to picture a guy. Real, fictional, alien, I don’t care. Someone hot. Not Calvin Klein underwear model hot, not ‘oh man, check
that
out’ hot, but the exact sort of guy that just gets you going. A guy that is sexy, but also makes you daydream beyond a sweaty one-night stand.”

I did not respond. I was busy trying to maintain my composure, trying to disguise how quickly Logan had come to my mind. I wondered if Leo could tell how quickly Justin’s words had brought my mind to my roommate.

“Now, imagine he is so carelessly attractive that women are all over him,” Justin continued. Of course, that fit, too.

“Just think how great it would be to be able to pull all of his attention to you; to leave all of those other bitches helpless.”

In my mind, I could see Logan watching me intently while that smug look was wiped off of Kayla’s face. I imagined her expression at being complete ignored in person, not just over text messages. I pictured the blonde from my first night here, imagined her walking away not because Logan had finished with her, but because he wasn’t interested.

As much as I reminded myself that a relationship with Logan was a terrible idea, those images in my head were enticing.

Justin made me spin and slowly inspect myself again. “That is what you could do with this dress.”

Still, I said nothing. But looking over to Leo told me that he already knew that I had no intention of leaving without that dress.