Distinction: The Distraction Trilogy #3 (14 page)

The shower runs hot over my skin as I wash away the vomit that my own mother unleashed upon me only minutes ago. Thankfully the nursing home in which she resides was kind enough to let me wash up in their staff shower. My dad has gone to the car to fetch my gym bag. I have spare clothing in there.

He enters the shower room and places the bag somewhere beyond the curtain which I hide behind, not that it matters. We’re both past the age of caring about nudity.

“I’ll wait for you in her room.”

Normally we aren’t allowed in the patients’ rooms, purely because the nurses can’t watch us all at once, which is fine with us. Today is different though. My poor mother is under quarantine whilst they figure out what’s making her projectile vomit everything she consumes amongst other bodily fluids. They don’t want her passing it on to the other patients.

“Okay,” I call back and quickly finish in the shower.

The nurse guides me to my mum’s room and I step inside. The doctor is with her, shining a light in her eyes and checking her pulse. Another nurse waits off to the side with a bucket of warm, soapy water.

“She has a fever,” the doctor states, frowning. “I’m going to give her another course of antibiotics. There’s little else we can do at this point.”

“What do you mean there’s little else you can do?” My dad asks angrily. I place my hand on his shoulder.

“Her tests are clear. There are no abnormalities in her blood.” The doctor explains, moving out the way so the nurse can clean up my mother. He rips off his gloves and disposes them in the waste bag on the trolley. “I’m sorry. I’m hoping it’s just a bug and it will pass but…”

“But?”

His eyes come to mine and then to my dad’s. “You have no idea how many people just drop off their relatives and leave, like this is some kind of animal sanctuary. They don’t look back and they sure as hell don’t visit. Who can blame them?” I say nothing and neither does my dad. “But at the same time, you wonder how they can just leave them here like that. It breaks your heart. It breaks
my
heart. It breaks the hearts of all of the people in this building.”

He’s not wrong. It’s rare that we see anyone visiting the other patients.

“But this is worse. I haven’t been put in this situation often, seeing the look in your eyes as I fail to do what I became a doctor to do.”

My dad’s hand goes to his chest as my fingers bite into his shoulder.

“I’m going to be honest with you both, because you deserve it. If she stays ill, she’s not going to last much longer.”

We both nod. We both knew it was coming but it still doesn’t hurt any less.

“You’re amazing men. Amazing people. I’m so sorry that I can’t do more. At the moment I’m just guessing by the visible symptoms.”

“You’ve been great; you’re doing the best you can,” I tell him, though my voice is raspy. “We appreciate the effort.”

He nods and smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I won’t stop until I don’t have any other choice. Let’s keep as optimistic as we can, though.”

“Thank you for being straight with me,” my dad whispers and shakes the doctor’s hand. “Not many would. Takes guts to be that honest.”

“I’d want the same if I were in your shoes.”

I turn and exit the room and then the building. I need to breathe. I can’t breathe in here.

Even though Mum hasn’t been herself for a while, I can’t imagine losing her. While she’s alive we can pretend all is normal.

Pretending is key to a healthy-ish mind.

“Let’s go home.” Dad’s voice comes from behind. I didn’t feel him follow me out.

He doesn’t look too bad… considering.

“I need a drink.”

I nod and follow him to his car. I don’t usually let him drive us places but I’m glad I made an exception today. I don’t think I can drive now even if I wanted to.

Jocelyn’s text comes through as we’re pulling out of our parking spot in silence. I welcome the distraction. I need the distraction.

Jocelyn
:
You’ll never guess what I’m doing right now.

Isaac
:
Probably something I’ll never be able to guess.

Jocelyn
:
I just had to meet and greet Kara Williams.

Isaac
:
The singer?

Jocelyn
:
Duh!

Isaac
:
She’s hot. What’s she like?

Jocelyn
:
Oddly she smells like potatoes…

Isaac
:
Potatoes? Really?

Jocelyn
:
Yeah. She’s also one of those people who wears sunglasses inside.

Isaac
:
I wear sunglasses inside. It helps to hide the fact I’m hanging while working.

Jocelyn
:
Whatever. Freak. What are you up to?

I could tell her, vent to her, let her take the weight of my problems for a short while, but I don’t want to complicate whatever it is we have going on. She’s fun. I’m having fun. I want to stay fun.

Isaac
:
Heading back to my dad’s before setting off for Boston. Want to join me?

Jocelyn
:
I would but my French lover, Jacque, awaits my arrival.

Isaac
:
Your French lover?

Jocelyn
:
Jealous?

Isaac
:
No, it’s just you said you were flying to Holland today, not France.

Jocelyn
:
A man who actually pays attention to the shit I say! I may trade in my French lover for you.

Isaac
:
Yay. I’m ecstatic.

Jocelyn
:
Liar. I have to go. First class awaits.

Isaac
:
Ah how the other half live!

Jocelyn
:
I’ll fetch you a plane souvenir.

Isaac
:
I wait impatiently to receive it.

“You’ve met a woman. I can tell by the look on your face,” Dad says and I shrug. No use in denying it. “This is good.” He smiles warmly and his blue eyes, that mirror my own, twinkle with love. “I hope she brings you joy.”

I don’t tell him that it isn’t like that. There’s no use in getting into the details. He seems happy that I seem happy, despite the circumstances. I’m not going to take that away.

Silas
:
I’m sorry. Forgive me. <3

I don’t know why he’s apologising. It’s my fault. I’m the bad guy here.

“Stop frowning. You’ll get wrinkles.” Damon tells me and uses his thumb to smooth the lines between my brows.

I bat his hands away. “Why are you in here? This is my room, not your room.”

“This is my parents’ spare room, so it is in fact closer to being owned by me than it is by you.” Flopping onto the bed by my feet, he grabs my phone and starts flicking through it. I hate that and he knows it. Even though I have nothing to hide, it just irritates me when somebody flicks through my private photos and conversations.

“Give me that.” I snatch it away and beat him over the head with a pillow.

It begins to vibrate as soon as I touch it.

“You can thank me later.” Damon grins and scrambles out of the room faster than if I had a gun ready to shoot him with. Which, when I see the message he sent to Silas, I kind of wish I did.

Eloise
:
Pick me up from Damon’s. That’s where I’m hiding.

Silas
:
Thank you, Damon. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes, Eloise. We should talk.

I don’t know what to say, so I simply say...

Eloise
:
Okay.

He arrives promptly and talk we do. We apologise. Or I apologise, though he says that it should be him and I argue that it should be me. Once that’s over, we head back to mine. I graduate in just two weeks. We have a serious amount of stuff to get sorted, so arguing and falling out right now isn’t in the best interests of either of us.

Things are still a bit tense when we head up to Bristol to check on everything. He drives us there, we stop in at his mum’s for dinner and then we drive back to Cambridge. The journeys are relatively silent and part of me wonders if he’s going to break up with me soon.

We seem to have come to a standstill in our relationship and I know I’m not making him happy. I’m boring. I’m always busy. I have little to offer him.

If things don’t get better, he won’t have to end it with me because I’ll just end it with him. He deserves better, so much better than a confused idiot for a girlfriend.

I’m going to be single forever and adopt a bunch of cats, aren’t I?

My thoughts on our relationship are confirmed when he drops me at my place and doesn’t come in, although after the last time he was here, we probably need the space.

I don’t mind being alone though. It gives me time to check my paper that I’m handing in tomorrow, catch up on my TV series and discover new music.

It also gives me a moment to remember what Isaac said the last time we spoke. It shouldn’t interest me anymore, yet I still need to know what he was talking about. Why has he been in rehab and how many times?

I was wondering when she’d call and finally she has. This is almost surreal. We haven’t spoken on the phone in a very long time. I know what she wants to talk about: something I’m not ready to talk about, something I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to talk about.

So I don’t answer. I click the screen to cancel the call.

I was serious when I said it’s time to move on. I need to be stronger now.

Yet the urge to hear her voice almost cripples me.

There’s a knock at the door. I open it with a trembling hand. It’s got to be Hayley. It has to be Hayley.

“SURPRISE!” A chorus of voices yell, almost knocking me backwards.

A mess of dark hair covers my face as I try to assess the situation.

“Oh my goodness, look at you!” My mum cries, now holding me at arm's length. “You look so cute.”

“Don’t crease me,” I plead, carefully extracting myself from her death grip so I can greet everybody else who is here with flowers and gifts.

“Happy graduation day!” My dad cheers and Hayley, Kira and Damon all peek around him.

“Oh my god!” I grin and throw myself into their arms. “I can’t believe you’re all here!” We share a huge group hug as I try not to cry. “But I only have my three allocated tickets.”

“I’ve got Kira as my third guest,” Damon states proudly and throws his arm around her. “She threatened to shave my face off.”

“That I did.” Kira beams wickedly and hugs me again. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I fluff up my thick, wavy hair and smooth down my graduation gown. I feel like an idiot. “Where’s your gown, Damon?”

“It’s too warm to wear it.”

“Lies.”

“Don’t make me!”

“Put it on.”

“Please,” My mum begs. “I want pictures!”

Damon’s lips thin to a white line as he relents and snatches the bag from Kira’s hand.

Hayley kisses my cheeks and assesses my makeup before forcing me to drink a shot of champagne to calm my nerves.

“I’m going to be the one person that falls.” I whisper. “In front of all of those people.”

“Probably,” Kira agrees, smacking me on my rear as she passes me, her aim the couch. “Can you believe we’re here already?”

“Nope.” I agree. “It feels so surreal.”

I think back to when I was in sixth form and how I’d be wishing my life away waiting for this day. For some reason I thought this was the day my life would begin. Especially since I married my teacher.

But now that I’m here, ready to graduate, I don’t feel any different. I don’t feel like life has begun; I feel like I’m just plodding through it like everyone else.

John
:
I’m so proud of you, Elle. I wish I could be there.

I smile and respond with a quick,

Eloise
:
Thank you, John. I wish you could be too.

“Is Silas coming?” Mum asks, her eyes skimming to my dad.

“He’s going to miss the ceremony but he’ll be here afterwards.”

“Ah, never mind. The ceremony will probably be boring save for your bit anyway,” Dad laughs.

“Thanks, Mr P.” Damon slaps him on the back. “Much appreciated.”

“Nice dress,” I add to my friend, who is wearing the same robe as I.

“Nice face.”

“Don’t worry, Damon. I’ll clap for you too.” My dad sighs. Damon is the only guy that I associate with that my dad likes. It’s probably to do with the fact that he’s wealthy. My dad is unfortunately shallow like that.

Although Silas’ family have quite heavy pockets…

“You look sick.”

“It’s probably that shot of champagne that Hayley made me drink.”

“Whoa.” Hayley raises her hands defensively. Her ring catches the light and I find myself staring at it. “Don’t blame me for your choices.”

“Whatever.”

My phone vibrates again.

Isaac
:
I just got a call from my solicitor saying we’re set to meet on Wednesday? Why is this the first I’m hearing of this?

Really? He chooses today to talk about this?

Maybe he doesn’t know. Why would he know? I doubt I’m the focus of his and John’s conversations.

Eloise
:
Because I told him the night before last to set up the meeting for Wednesday. I would have conferred with you but you haven’t returned my three phone calls over the past two weeks. If that date isn’t good for you then change it, but I’m not free now until the week before Hayley’s wedding. I’m busy right now too. I’ll call you later.

“You look all serious,” Hayley whispers, so I quickly plaster on a smile.

Isaac
:
What is it that you want? Why can’t we settle out of court?

Eloise
:
It’s airtight this way. It’s necessary. Besides, it needs to be before the decree nisi. I’m not sure how all of this works. Call your solicitor.

Isaac
:
It’s costing us both a fortune.

Eloise
:
Isaac, I’m about to graduate… I’ll call you later. Everybody is piling into two cars right now. It’s a tragic sight. My mum just realised her arse is fatter than mine.

I laugh when she stomps to my dad’s car and climbs into the passenger seat.

Isaac
:
Shit, Elle, I’m sorry. I didn’t even realise. I’ll call you later.

I finally climb into the correct car and smile at Damon, who sits in the driver’s seat in his robe. Kira and Hayley are in the back. My mum and dad are following in their car behind us. They flash at Damon to let him know they’re ready.

“What about your parents?” I ask him.

“Meeting us there,” he responds, winking at me. “My mum has an outrageous gift for you. I swear she still thinks we’re secretly dating.”

“It doesn’t help that you walk in and out of my room when I stay over…”

“I’ve seen it all before.”

“He has?” Hayley squawks.

“Multiple times.” Kira puts in, giggling. “Uni can be wild!”

Isaac
:
Congratulations. It probably isn’t worth much anymore, but I’m so proud of you and so envious. Have a drink or two for me to celebrate tonight.

Eloise
:
It’s worth more than you think, Isaac. Thank you. <3

Why did I put the heart? Why oh why did I put the heart?

Isaac
:
<3 <3

Why did he put two back?

“Put your bloody phone away.” Hayley demands and snatches it from my grip. “Damon, turn the music up.”

“Yes Miss.”

“Honey… you’re graduating today!” Kira screeches in my ear.

“I know.” It still hasn’t sunk in yet. “I did it.”

But it’s not until I’m called forth and that roll of paper is put in my hand that I realise exactly what I’ve done.

University is over for me now. I’m graduated. I’m going to have to leave my apartment and find a job elsewhere.

Mum and Dad seem to sense my dying mood and only stay for long enough to eat with me and repeatedly congratulate me. I appreciated seeing them but I need alcohol and my friends right now. I need to wallow in self-pity at how real this all just became.

No more classes… forever.

No more papers.

No more lectures.

I’m not sure why this seems so daunting. I suppose it’s because now I’m expected to be an adult.

“We need vodka,” I hear Hayley whisper after I voice my thoughts and slump onto the ground by the couch. “Lots of vodka.”

“Are you honestly saying you didn’t have a plan?” Hayley asks. “I know we haven’t spoken much about it, but you insisted you had it sorted.”

“I didn’t really think of much beyond the inn. I’m not sure what I expected to happen,” I say, checking the clock on the wall for the millionth time. “Is it time to go to Damon’s yet?”

“Of course. He’s just finishing up with his own parents.”

I stare at the ‘outrageous’ gift from Damon’s parents to me. It’s a white gold and diamond bracelet. I daren’t even ask what karat it is. Of course I tried to refuse, but his tiny dad had it on my wrist faster than a ninja wields a blade.

It’s absolutely stunning but I’m never wearing it outside of the home. I’m actually contemplating locking it away in a bank vault and handing it down to Damon’s offspring.

All I got his mum was a popular bath set for Christmas. Sure it wasn’t cheap, but it wasn’t diamonds.

Apparently I helped keep their son on the straight and narrow so I earned them. They aren’t wrong. I saved Damon from a lot of shit over the years. To say he dabbled in the bad stuff would be an understatement.

“Silas?” Kira asks quietly as I’m handed vodka with a splash of lime and lemonade.

I glug it down and gasp when the burn hits my throat and makes me feel like vomiting. “We need to head to the meet and greet. He can meet us there.”

“Unnecessary.” Hayley tells me and pulls open the door. “He has just arrived.”

“You were going to leave without me?” Silas steps into my apartment and crouches in front of me. His long, dark fingers wrap around the empty glass I’m clutching and place it on the table beside us. He then helps me to my feet and presses his lips to mine. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” I respond robotically and a full glass is placed in my hand.

“This is brilliant. Welcome to the real world.” Kira claps and shakes her hips. “Let’s get our party on.”

“Woo!” I cheer convincingly and toss the drink back. “Let’s go.”

“The gathering awaits.”

And what a gathering it is.

Damon meets us there as promised and I laugh when I see him already covered in glowing, neon paint. It’s in sprays all over his bare chest and face. Strips made by his fingers in pink and yellow streak under his eyes.

Now I see why he told me to wear a vest and shorts.

“I come with a palette!” he grins and points to the man to his right, who holds up a circular piece of smooth wood upon which different coloured blobs of paint rest upon. “This is Josh. Josh is a freshman. He gets twenty points for every tit he writes his initials on.”

“You’re joking?” Kira steps forward and proudly presents her cleavage. Josh grins excitedly and chooses the pink. Using his finger he writes ‘JL’ on her bosom before moving onto Hayley, who takes the paint and does it for him whilst declaring, “I’m almost a married woman.”

I push my hair from my chest and let him get on with it, much to Silas’ dismay. It’s just paint. It’s also purple. I like purple.

“I need more vodka and more of this tribal paint shit.”

“It’s heaving. Where are we exactly?” Kira asks, looking around the dark room that we step into. Everyone is glowing with paint. Everyone.

This is awesome.

“Is this what I’ve been missing out on these past few years?”

Damon looks at me over his shoulder as he pulls me to the bar. We snake through the crowds, all of us linked. Damon to me, me to Silas, Silas to Hayley and Hayley to Kira. “No, this is beyond any level of awesome I’ve witnessed.”

“I don’t envy whoever’s job it is to clean up tomorrow.”

“Me neither.”