Distraction (46 page)

His lips moved and blood spurted on the wooden floor. I
couldn't stop. All the frustration and pain I
'
d endured
exploded in a rage I
'
d never experienced before. Every time Elle rejected me,
rejected us, I kicked. Each time I sat back and watched her with Green, I
kicked him again. Kellie even filtered through my thoughts and I kicked once
more.

Just before I made another move, someone restrained me from
behind in a tight bear hold. "Tristan, calm down, man. It
'
s over.
"

My heart hammered against my chest, and my breathing came in
and out quickly. I focused on the bloody-faced guy slumped on the ground in
front of me.

"If I let you go, are you going to be able to keep your
shit together?" I realized it was Bret holding me back. I could feel my
body shaking as the anger died down. I nodded once and he let me go. Robbie
rolled to his back, groaning.

Bret turned to a group of guys in front of us. "Someone
clean this piece of shit up, then get him home." No one jumped to help the
prick at first, until Jarred walked over. He and a few of our linebackers
picked him up and carried him out of the house.

I turned to talk to Bret and noticed Elle standing beside
Alyssa. She stared at me, the shock clear to read as we stood in a trance
watching each other.

"
You wanna beer?
" Bret
'
s que
stion pulled my attention away from Elle.

"No. I think I
'
m done for the night. You mind
giving me a ride home?" The fight seemed to sober me up.

"I
'
ll take him home, Bret."

I turned to Elle in surprise. Tentatively, I asked, "Are
you sure?"

"I brought your car, so…" She shrugged a shoulder
indifferently.

"Okay." Bret slapped me on the back as she walked
over to Alyssa. "I
'
ll make sure he
'
s okay, man. Get some rest. We need you back on the field."

"
Thanks.
" I watched Elle talk to Alyssa. A few guys passed by
complementing me for showing Robbie up. I barely acknowledged them.

I needed to get my head checked or move away. I couldn't keep
this shit up any longer. Tonight with Robbie, I exploded, and if Bret hadn
'
t stopped me, I
would
'
ve killed him. I didn
'
t think Elle would ever give in and
let go. I sighed. After Christmas, I
'
d tell her I needed space. Now I
was the one screwed up, go figure.

"Spud, you ready?"

Alyssa grinned back at me. I really didn
'
t want to hear a
smartass comment right now.

"It's about time someone gave Robbie what he deserved."
Alyssa
'
s grin spread into a full smile.

"I didn
'
t expect that. A smartass remark yes, but not a compliment."

Alyssa rolled her eyes. "Don
'
t let it go to
your head, macho guy."

"I
'
m ready when you are,"
Elle
interrupted.

“Let’s go." I couldn't
look
at her. If I
did, I
'
d be sucked back in.

"See ya," I said, addressing Bret and Alyssa. I
headed out to my car in the cold air.

Elle

I waited until Tristan walked outside before speaking with
Alyssa. When I clued her in to what happened, or almost happened between me and
Tristan, she couldn't believe I let him leave with Bret.

"So what do I say to him?"

Alyssa rolled her eyes. "Do you we need to have the talk
about the birds and bees?"

I swear she and Tristan were related. They were both such
smartasses.

"Don
'
t be a jerk." Averting my eyes from Alyssa, I focused on
the dark wooden floor. All of a sudden, I couldn't breathe right. My lungs felt
too heavy. A whoosh of air rushed out, and my pulse quickened. Regret sunk in,
threatening the calm I
'
d been trying to hold on to. "Alyssa, he wouldn
'
t even look at
me before he walked out the door." My throat burned and tears formed. I
needed to pull it together.

"
Honey, just
–"

I looked up. "Just what?" I took a stuttered
breath.

Shaking her head she said, "Nope, I
'
m not telling
you what to do."

She had to have a fever or something. Alyssa always told me
what to do, whether I wanted her to or not.

"Are you going to die? Were you diagnosed with a rare
disease and only have a month to live or something?"

Alyssa glared back at me. "I can
'
t believe you
just asked me that. And no, I
'
m not dying. Shit, Elle." She flung her hand out toward
me. "Anyway, back to what we were talking about. Just be yourself and tell
him what you want." She arched her trimmed brow and folded her arms across
her chest. "Now, get out of here." She grabbed my shoulders and
jerked me around to face the door. "Go," she said with a not so
gentle push.

With a deep sigh, I placed one foot in front of the other and
walked. I could do this. I could tell Tristan I wanted to be with him. Hell,
living in his house, helping him dress and undress, nearly killed me. Even the
light brush of his hand over mine heated my skin. Oh, my God, even thinking
about his hands on me set me on fire.

I walked quickly to his car. As I got closer to him, I nearly
tripped due to the dark, penetrating look he shot me.

"Sorry I took so long in there."

"Whatever. Can we get back already? I
'
m tired."

"I…" I paused, not wanting to discuss our almost
kiss yet. "Yeah, sure."

Tristan stayed quiet, and as soon as I unlocked the doors, he
got in without a word more. I thought back to the deadly look on his face when
he found Robbie talking to me. Really, he scared the shit out of me. Robbie was
lucky to be alive after the beating he got.

I wanted to ask Tristan how he was doing, but the cold vibes
from him changed my mind. Carefully, I chanced a quick peek out of the corner
of my eye. He remained still and stared out the window with his fists balled in
his lap.

"You okay?" I tried to keep the worry out of my
tone, failing.

He continued to stare out the window. "I
'
m great." A
muscle in his jaw jerked. I decided to wait until we got back to his house to
say more. Thank goodness he didn
'
t live far, because the tension in the car made it hard to
stomach. Instead of sticking to my decision to stay quiet, I changed my mind.
Apparently I was a glutton for punishment. "Is there something you want to
talk about?" My grip on the steering wheel tightened, along with my
nerves. Why in the hell did I just ask him that?

Tristan turned his gaze from the window, looking back at me
with dark humor in his eyes.

"Nothing to talk about, Elle." With a quick snap of
his head, he went back to staring out the window. We didn
'
t speak again.

Once we got back to his house, Tristan walked straight to the
couch. I closed the front door, fumbling over how to start the long overdue
conversation about us. I turned slowly, my heart racing inside my chest.
Tristan picked up a pillow from the couch and threw it across the living room.
I opened my mouth.

"I can sleep on the couch tonight." I hoped to
lighten his mood. He didn
'
t look up as he kicked his shoes off.

"I
'
m good. Are you packed and ready for tomorrow?" He
refused to look at me.

"Yes, I also packed a few things for you. We can leave
first thing if you want."

"Whatever." I waited for him to say more, but after
a few more minutes passed without so much as a look, I decided to go to bed.

But first, I tried one more time.

"Listen, I know you
'
re upset."

Finally, he looked at me, but then I wished he'd go back to
ignoring me. His chest rose with each breath he took. His jaw tightened and he
balled his fists.

"I
'
m sorry." My words came out as shaky as I felt.

Tristan jumped from the couch and rushed up to me. With his
towering height looming over me, I couldn't think. God, he was pissed.

"You
'
re sorry?" He shot out a short laugh, and his hot breath
blew pieces of hair in my face. "Sorry is one way to put what you are."

Tears pooled in my eyes as the shock and hurt of his words
hit me. Slowly I backed away, afraid of what he
'
d say next.

"I
'
ll leave. I-I can find my own way home tomorrow." As
much as I tried to keep the tears from falling, I failed. I backed up more, but
ended up against a wall. Tristan inched closer.

"I
'
m not stopping you from going, but answer a question before
you leave." He spoke low and even, a telltale sign of how pissed off he
was.

I couldn't find the words to answer and nodded instead.

He stood directly in front of me. Stretching his arms out, he
caged me between him and the wall. I felt as if my heart would leap out of my
chest. We stood in silence, staring into each other’s eyes. The mixture of beer
and tequila hit my face.

"Why do you keep running away?"

Tristan
'
s warm eyes peered through me, but I couldn't speak, locked
in a frozen state between desire of wanting him and the fear to let go.

"
Answer me.
" His brows furrowed.

“
I don'
t...I
'
m not." What in the hell was wrong with me? I caught the
same flash of the anger from earlier flare in his eyes. He slammed his hand at
the wall next to my head. The vibration of his hit jarred me and my knees
nearly gave.

His words tore at me, but not because he
'
d been angry,
but because I
'
d hurt him. Again. Every ounce of desire within me ached for
him, his touch, his lips, his hands...his everything. We continued glaring,
neither of us backing down.

"Stop lying!" Tristan moved his right arm from the
wall, and trailed his fingers down my arm. The other held me prisoner, caged
between him and the wall. "Tell me you don
'
t feel this."
He cocked a brow then dipped his head forward. His lips hovered over mine,
teasingly close. “You smell good."

My breathing increased into embarrassing
pants
.

Tristan moved my hair behind my shoulder, and lowering his
head, skated his tongue down my heated skin. A small moan escaped from my open
lips. I couldn't help it. All my fantasies were coming true. Well, I
'
d never imagined
us in this predicament, but anyway.

I tilted my head, giving him more access. I wanted him.

"Mmmm, baby, you taste so good." Tristan finally
moved his other hand, weaving his fingers through the hair at the back of my
head. "I know you want this." He halted his pursuit with his tongue.
Face to face, I could see the desire in his gaze. "Tell me you don
'
t want this."
He pressed his hand on my chest. I was sure he could feel the wild beats
against my chest. "Tell me you don
'
t want me and I
'
ll walk away. I
'
ll leave and
never come back." His eyes roamed my face, and his thumb smoothed over my
parted lips. "Tell me you don
'
t want my lips on yours. Tell me you don
'
t want me to
make love to you."

He backed away, and my legs gave. I bent forward to keep from
falling, and pressed a hand over my chest.

"I guess not."

I snapped my head up. What?

Tristan grabbed his keys off the coffee table and moved to
the door.

I had to stop him before it was too late. Before I lost him.

Forever.

Chapter
33

Tristan

I didn
'
t know for sure, but I was pretty certain I'd just lost my
best friend, the woman I loved more than anything.