Divided (The United Trilogy Book 2) (16 page)

“Roz, you are scaring us, honey. Please say something,” Annabelle says to me.

This is too much, I just can’t process this all. I am literally shutting down and I don’t want to process or do anything in front of the entire Council. I place my head in my hands and try to catch my breath and make everything stop spinning. I will not decide anything right now. I think the Council takes my silence as me giving up, or stepping down because shouting immediately starts happening. Samuel is downright screaming and Peter is trying to match him word for word. I can’t really tell what they are saying but I think I hear Samuel threaten to step down and it has caused a huge outburst. That can’t happen, I don’t want to cause more division. I raise my hand for silence. It has taken a while for people to notice, but Amira finally yells, “Will both of you shut up and sit down! Give the poor girl a chance to process this. Roz, what is it, honey?”

I look up at them. I’m sure my face is pale and I am not feeling well at all, but I am going to say this and then leave and go lock myself away where I can process everything.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause more problems, I just…I don’t know what to do now. I’m thankful that the ban is lifted, but just solving half a problem isn’t going to help, so to be honest, I’m not sure what to do. I’m going to take some time to think about this. It means the ban is lifted, right? But because the vote is split, does that mean the other part didn’t pass?”

Samuel shakes his head. “No, it means it’s tabled. We will have another vote later and it will continue to be tabled until it is no longer split.” Here it goes; this is where I ask for other Council members, but after the blow up from earlier, should I risk it? Maybe I can go slightly around it.

“Tabled? That’s it? There is no other contingency? No other members or board can be brought in to break a tie vote?” That is as close as I am going to get, and it looks like it does the trick. Amira instantly starts to cry. Crap, I don’t want that.

Samuel stares at me for a moment like he is seeing more than I want him to. Then he slowly shakes his head no. “It’s tabled, Roz. Take as long as you need to get your head on straight, and then we have to move forward.” He knows I know about Ed, I know it. He is now looking at me hard, almost mad, but quiet. How can he know when nobody else is tipped off by my question? I nod at him and I stand up and walk out. It’s done. Before I make it out of the hallway, Amira has her hand on my shoulder. I can hear Samuel yelling something for her to come back but he doesn’t follow.

She hugs me. “Please don’t step down, Roz, please. We will make the changes happen. If it really means that much to you, there is a way, but it’s going to make Samuel very angry; he might step down if I do it. Please think very hard on this, I will leave the choice up to you. I will be in touch.” She runs off before I can ask any questions.

If I was not confused before, I sure as heck am now. What can Amira do that can make Samuel angry enough to quit the Council? The only thing I can think of that she can do is to bring Ed back, but why will that make Samuel mad and make him leave?

Chapter Twelve

I need to message Masters and then talk to Malik. I send him a quick message to meet me in my office. I go straight to my office and tell Judy to hold all calls and visitors minus Masters. Once I say even Wes and Molly aren’t to disturb me, Judy looks at me like I have lost my mind. Wes and Molly are on the may-enter-at-any-time list, but today, it is different. I don’t wait for her reply and shut the door, then lay down on the couch. My head barely hits the cushion before Masters comes charging into the office. He must have been close by like he said he would be. He rushes over to me and takes in the state I am in and kneels down by the couch.

“I take it that it didn’t go your way?” he asks carefully.

I just shake my head and continue to cry. He lifts my head and sits down on the couch; putting a pillow from the couch on his lap and laying my head back down on the pillow. He rubs my hair and doesn’t say anything for a while. If I wasn’t so upset, I would think that this is funny. Out of everyone Masters is the only one I wanted for comfort. The idea seemed hilarious, but it was true. He doesn’t know what has happened but I can't bring myself to think of it right now. Masters gets up after a while and turns some music on, and then he begins to search my drawers for something, finally coming out with a pack of post-it notes. He starts walking around the room, placing the post its in random places; I think this odd enough to stop my tears and watch him with curiosity. It is then that I realize what he is doing: he is covering up all cameras. I assume I am monitored at all times, but I have never given it much thought. I wonder how much trouble he can get into for doing this. He goes to the fridge and takes out a few bottles of water and chocolate milk and brings them back to where I am. I take a few sips of water until I can get myself under control.

I then bring him up to speed about everything that has happened and I end it with the weird message from Amira.

He sits there completely still and silent for a few minutes, probably trying to process it all. I completely understand since I am having a hard time myself.

“So the ban is up? The gate is going to be unlocked?” he inquires.

“That’s what they said. I think that’s more your department though; that means you are not going to need to guard it any longer and you can get the IT guys to unlock the gate. I guess at least something positive came from this.”

Masters just sits there, not saying anything.

“What? You are making me nervous, what are you thinking?”

“Oh it’s nothing, just processing it all. I don’t think this is a bad thing, Roz. It’s not what you wanted, but sometimes it just takes a little hard work and time. This isn’t a movie where the heroine gets what she wants, saves the world and that’s the end. It takes commitment and dedication. Stick with it and I think you will be surprised how fast you can change the Council’s mind.”

He is right and I know it, but it is just a bit disappointing anyway.

“It’s time to go tell Malik in person, don’t you think?”

“Is that just another excuse for you to see Dex? You just saw him this morning, girl.” He is only teasing me, trying to lighten the mood, but I can’t take it, not right now when nothing else in my life makes sense either.

I drop my head so he can’t see my tears and shake my head no. “I meant you. I’m going to stay here. But I think Malik needs a heads up in person. You can fill him in on everything.”

He lifts my chin and levels my gaze to his. “Why the tears, little one? This is more than today’s outcome.”

“I’m fine, Masters. I just don’t feel like talking anymore. I’m going to go home and try to make all the pieces fit. Would you mind going out there today and talking to Malik please?”

“Sure thing, Roz.” He leans over and gives me a big hug, and then whispers in my ear, “Men are stupid, but sooner or later, we usually always come to our senses. Things will work out, don’t you worry.”

I just nod my head and hug him back. “Thanks, Masters.”

“Do you want me to send Natasha over?”

“No, thank you. I’d rather be alone tonight. In fact, I’m going to ask if Andi would mind putting Molly and Wes up for a few days.”

“I’ll talk to Andi and arrange it before I head out to the OC. You just go take some time for yourself; I think you can use it. I’ll try to keep Natasha at bay, but eventually she’s going to want to come see you and make sure you are alright. She’s like a momma bear when it comes to you.” I have amazing friends. I am not shutting them out; I just need to figure out what I want to do. I nod and he leaves. I wait a little bit longer until I am sure that I am fine and that I will not have any more meltdowns once I leave the protection of my office. I brush myself off and go into Judy’s office. Poor thing looks very worried.

“Hi, Judy, sorry about earlier. Please don’t worry, everything is fine. To be honest, I’m just totally exhausted and I have a lot on my mind. I have a few things to work out before I can come back to work, so please hold all my calls and everything for me. I’m going to take a few days out of the office and will be back later this week.”

“Roz, are you sure you’re alright?” She looks at me so sweetly with grandmotherly worry I almost lost it again.

“I’m fine, and you called me Roz, thank you.” She blushes a little but nods her head.

“Okay, I’m out of here then. I will be seeing you later on. I’m going to keep everything turned off, but will be at home if you need me. Please get a message to Miriam if you can and let her know she will have the next few days off as well.”

“Are you sure about that? It might be good to have someone take care of you for a few days.”

“I’m fine, Judy, really. Please let her know too. Thanks.” I turn around and get out of the building and make my way home as quickly as I can. Once I get there, I run a hot bath and soak in for almost an hour. Then I crawl into bed and fall fast asleep.

I wake up at some point in the middle of the night and realize that there is someone lying next to me. Molly and Wes must have come home anyway. It’s just like Wes to worry about me and ignore what I have asked him to do.

“Wes, I’m fine, I just needed some time to myself.” I put my arm around him and then realized that THIS IS NOT WES! I start to panic. Who is in my bed?! Why is there a strange man in my bed with me?

Then I hear a gravelly voice whisper in my ear: “So it’s common to wake up and find Wes in your bed, huh? I thought we talked about this already!”

I instantly felt relief. Now that my heart rate is down to normal, I am going to beat the crap out of him.

Whack!

“Ouch! Dang, girl, you pack a punch even though you’re so tiny!” he complains.

“Dexter, what on earth are you doing in my bed? You scared the life out of me!” I yell at him.

“You mean after you figured out I wasn’t Wes? Really, Roz, you promised!”

“Um, well I promised I wouldn’t go in his bed anymore, which I haven’t! I said nothing about him in mine, but that is beside the point. What on earth are you doing here?”

I sit up and turn on the light to look over at him. My heart aches by just looking at him.

“Masters was worried about you, and when he told me that the ban is over, I needed to come here for myself to make sure you are okay. Masters said he’s never seen you so upset and pale and it’s not like him to exaggerate so I came right over. Once I got here and found you asleep, I didn’t have the heart to wake you, but your bed looked so inviting so I was just going lay next to you for a bit to make sure you really are alright, but then I fell asleep!” He looks like a sheepish little boy, and I can’t help but smile. I throw my arms around his neck and give him a big hug.

“Thanks, Dex. I can't believe you actually came.”

He looks down at me, completely serious now. “Of course I did, Roz. Whenever you need me, I will come.” His statement warms my heart. After how weird we left things off, I am not sure what to expect. I still don’t, but I’m not going to worry about it and just enjoy the fact that he’s here now, next to me…while I’m wearing my ratty pajamas. Drat!

“Where is little mouse?”  It seems weird that he would leave her overnight. I know he has a lot of help, but he’s still so protective.

“I brought her with me. She is sleeping in your guest room.” Ah, that makes more sense now.

“Oh good, I’m so glad. A day with her is just what I need.” He raises an eyebrow at me.

“Just Grace? Should I have just sent Grace back with Masters then?” he asks, sounding like a neglected boy.

I hit him again.

“Oh stop mister! Pouting is not attractive, especially on such a big man like you.”

“So now I’m unwelcome and unattractive. Wow, babe thanks a lot!” he sneers at me.

“I never said you are either. You know you are always welcome and I’m not even going to start on how attractive you are because your ego doesn’t need any help.”

He grins at me now. “Oh I don’t know. After getting called by another guy’s name in your bed, it has probably obliterated any ego I have left,” he says with a chuckle. But then, he asks me directly: “Really, Roz, are you okay?”

“I don’t know. It’s a lot to process. What about you, what do you think about everything?”

He starts running his hand through my hair and playing with the strands.

“Honestly, I think it could have gone a lot worse. According to Masters, everyone seemed on board; they’re just nervous about taking on too much at once. This is a very valid point, Roz. The fact that they have lifted the ban is a sign of good faith. Maybe they will follow through with the rest of it. They just need time…and maybe a little incentive.”

“So you think this is a good thing?” I ask him, unsure.

“Yea, I do. Was it ideal? No. But they only tabled it when they could have motioned to get rid of it all together. Just take it a step at a time.”

“I know and you are right; it’s just that I really started to feel so strongly about everything. Before I had even found out about you and the OC, it was so upsetting to me to find out about how closely we are being watched and I wanted to get sick when I saw my file. It’s not right to take away someone’s privacy like that, not without their knowledge Dex.”

“You’re right. That has always bothered me. It wasn’t why I left, but it was part of it. I needed to be free of the Ministry and all of its ties. I just wanted to take Grace and raise her somewhere without all that, where she could have fun and be a kid.” I can hear the sadness in his voice. I know he feels like he has failed Grace, but he hasn’t.

“She will have fun and be a kid, Dex. She’s still young. She has a lot of pain to get past, as do you, but you will do it together. She can be happy again, I know it,” I assure him.

“You make her happy,” he says, nuzzling my ear. “You make me happy too.”

As much as I want to, I am not going to turn this into a fight. This man is like a Yo-yo; it's always up and down with him. He wants me, then he doesn’t. I am not going to go there, not tonight. So I don’t say anything and just lay there and let him snuggle with me.

Eventually, we both fall asleep. I wake up to tiny little hands on my face again and the first genuine smile I’ve had since I have last seen those big brown eyes.

“Well, good morning, little mouse.”

She smiles down at me. She is so tiny that I didn't even feel her climb up on the bed, but at some point, she must have because she is well snuggled in between us now.

“I missed you. Did you have a good time on the train?” I ask her.

She nods and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Well, let’s go find you some breakfast, shall we? We will let your brother sleep in a bit while we go and cook.” I get out of bed and she grabs my hand and follows me. We make some eggs and toast and I give her a glass of chocolate milk. She is a girl after my own heart and guzzles it down with a huge smile on her face.

“You are going to be the one to take her to the dentist since you have created this monster, you know?” Dex says as he comes up behind me and takes the milk out of my hand and downed it in one drink. He then makes a disgusted face.

“Hey, I was drinking that!” I whine at him.

“For goodness’ sake, that is disgusting! How can you drink that? Bleh!” He makes gagging noise.

“Clearly, you are delusional. It is delicious, isn’t it, Grace?”

Grace nods her head up and down while licking her lips. I give her a high five and Dex rolls his eyes at me.

“Going to work today?” he asks.

“Nope. Grace and I are going on a hike, and then on a boat ride in the lake. Aren’t we, Grace?”

Grace nods her head up and down enthusiastically again.

“Well do I get to come too, or is this a girls only trip?”

“What do you say, Grace, should we let him come? We will need someone to do the heavy lifting so I guess it might as well be him.” Grace starts tapping her finger on her chin like she is thinking and I burst out laughing.

“One day and you’ve turned her against me already! I knew you were a bad influence!” He starts tickling Grace until she giggles herself nearly to death and then nods her head that he can come.

“Sit down and eat so we can get out of here. Did you bring her some play clothes?” I ask him.