Do Less (5 page)

What else is in your bathroom? Reading material, bath toys, and enough toilet paper to last should there be back-to-back hurricanes for three months? Scale it all back. If you're really going to read those magazines, take the rack to the living room. Keep only enough bath toys to occupy the kids for twenty minutes. Last, only keep whatever toilet paper you can discreetly and easily store. Instead of jamming forty rolls into a too-small cabinet, try buying smaller packages of toilet paper more frequently. You may end up spending a little more money that way, but it's well worth it to have a clean, uncluttered bathroom.

Children are often the source of an abundance of household clutter. It starts with an array of swings, swaddles, and soothers in the baby years, transitions to a pile of plastic toys in the toddler years, and then continues to grow and change as the child becomes a teen—sports equipment, electronics, and on and on. Most parents feel there is no way around it: If you have kids, you have clutter.

The truth is, a minimalist can beat clutter even with children. Whether you have one newborn or a full household of six children, four cats, and three dogs, it's possible to beat clutter and live an organized and content life with less stuff. Often parents fall into the trap of thinking that they'll only get their house back (along with their free time) once the kids move out. There is no need to wait until your final child has been sent off to college to declutter your home. You can start now, no matter the ages or number of children in your home.

Before you begin decluttering your children's belongings, think about the ages and temperaments of your children and the chronic clutter areas of your home, and then choose the path of least resistance:

• If your children are very young, it will be easiest to declutter without a lot of input from them.
  
• Older children often actually enjoy decluttering their toys and belongings when they are given responsibility and choice. They get to choose what charity to donate the used toys to and they select their favorites that they want to keep for themselves.
  
• Teenagers can often be motivated by incentives such as keeping the cash earned from selling their unused goods.
  

No matter how old your kids are, start small. For most families, decluttering can be a shock, and too much too soon can make a child of any age rebel. Be patient and take your time as you get your children to let go of those things they don't wear or use.

The hard truth about clutter for very young children: it's actually parent clutter. We think the baby “needs” a big basket of toys, but really, most children under the age of four can be happily amused with pots and pans from the kitchen, a few well-loved books, and other everyday items already in your home. The closets and drawers that are stuffed with new outfits are for you or Grandma to coo over—not them. No ten-month-old has ever requested multiple teething toys, shape-sorter games, or a dozen stuffed animals. When you accept that a lot of that kid clutter starts with adults, and that most of it isn't necessary for the well-being and happiness of your children, it's easier to find new homes for those things and commit to buying less.

Too much stuff starts before the first baby even arrives. Expectant parents are inundated with things they
must
buy for the new baby: nursery furniture, layettes of clothing, and all the latest supposedly must-have baby gadgets. Many parents spend more time and money buying things and decorating a nursery than they spend on preparing for the birth or saving for related expenses like maternity or paternity leave. Some families even go so far as to buy a bigger home and a new car before the baby is out of the womb. Ironically, all this buying and stuff, stuff that you need to work more to pay for and spend more of your precious free time tidying up, leaves you with less time to enjoy the new baby.

A hundred years ago, babies slept in dresser drawers, made do with a few outfits and cloth diapers, and were lucky to have just one rattle as a toy. There were no motorized infant swings that promised to lull a baby into a deep sleep. Parents survived with what we would now consider the barest of essentials for a newborn. That's right, they survived and their children thrived anyway. Toddlers learned to walk without any type of push toy or walker. Older babies even learned to eat solid food without a high chair by sitting in their mothers' laps at the dinner table. Parents rocked babies to sleep in their arms rather than in a motorized infant swing that took up a large area of the living room. We can recreate these simpler times now by resisting the impulse to buy every baby-soothing device and gadget we read about in the latest parenting magazines.

With this in mind, re-evaluate your baby gear. What do you really need and use? It's nice to have a safe spot to leave an infant or older baby, either a playpen or something seated, but you really only need one place. The nice thing about baby gear and gadgets is that they are easy to get rid of. Find a family expecting a new baby and they will most likely come to your home and take those big clunky pieces of plastic off your hands tonight. It's funny: You get panicked about needing it all before the baby arrives and then, once the baby is actually here, you can't wait to get rid of that stuff. So say goodbye to some of those big pieces sitting in your living room and reclaim that floor space.

Reducing your baby's or toddler's clothing is a great way to create more space and organization in your home and life. With fewer outfits to choose from, you'll be able to get your child dressed faster and have fewer clothes to sort when he or she outgrows things. A nice rule of thumb is to keep just what your child would wear in a week and only outfits that are in good condition and worn often. If you have a lot of special-occasion clothing, just pick your favorite and keep that. As most new parents find out, young kids sometimes outgrow clothing before they even have a chance to wear it once. So send that clothing away. Donate it or sell it and put the proceeds in your child's college fund. A few hundred dollars saved for college tuition will do more for her than a bunch of adorable outfits that she never even wore.

Toys should be next on your list for a swift and ruthless declutter. Have you ever noticed that the fewer things there are to play with, the better your child plays with them? If two-year-olds only have a choice between a set of blocks and a few toy cars, they will keep themselves entertained for a lot longer than if they are in a playroom with shelves upon shelves of toys. Children become overwhelmed and unable to focus when they have too many choices. With that in mind, zero in on your child's favorites and most basic toys, and get rid of the rest. Even with just the favorites left at home, try using a toy rotation system by dividing the toys into two to three baskets and rotating the basket weekly. This keeps the number of toys in front of your child low, but allows you to keep a select library of toys that challenge your child in different ways.

Finding dual purpose in your things is one of the easiest ways to reduce clutter. Many toys for young children are based on common household goods because that's what babies a few generations ago played with. Stacking or nesting cups for a toddler can be replaced/shared with measuring cups from the kitchen. Make a drum out of a plastic mixing bowl and a wooden spoon. Sometimes the simplest thing that you already own—a parent's water bottle or tennis ball—becomes a favorite toy. Encourage this type of creative and minimalist play in your children.

A nicely stocked bookshelf is a requirement for a healthy childhood, but it need not be an entire bookcase, nor do you need to own every book you read to your kids. Children learn by having stories repeated to them, and most parents find that their kids want the same few books read over and over. So why do you keep those dozens of books that were read only once (or never)? Cull your bookshelf to keep just your favorites and let the library store those books you only read once or twice. This strategy not only saves space, but it saves your family money. To find new favorites, use your local library to test-drive books. When you find a favorite, a book that your children ask for again and again, add it to your permanent collection.

At this age, you should do most of the decluttering. Wait until your children have gone to bed and then quickly cull the toys and books. If you are concerned that your child will miss certain toys, put them in a “hold box” for a few months before donating them. If you're saving things for a possible next baby, keep just the very best items you have and sell or donate the rest. As second-time parents know all too well, there's always a family out there looking to get rid of their baby gear and anything you might need for a second baby can be picked up secondhand for very little money—or often even for free!

Once children are school-aged there is a new clutter culprit: keeping up with their peers. Along with homework, school brings more reasons for your children to bring things into the home, such as papers from school and sports equipment, and more influence and pressure to have the latest toys and clothing like their peers. The declutter-by-night tactic that works well for very young children may not be so easily accepted by a seven- or twelve-year-old, who has a precise mental catalog of every action figure and video game in his or her possession. The good news is that by this age with a small amount of assistance from parents, children can declutter on their own.

Young school-age children need tools and motivation to reduce their stuff, with parents stepping in to provide the structure and rides to the donation center or recycling site. At this age, kids are being exposed to charity drives at school. Donating or selling their rarely used items will help educate them on the environmental and community benefits of owning less stuff. If you can help your children become savvy and environmentally conscious consumers at a young age, while instilling the importance of charitable giving, you'll give them all the tools they need to lead a clutter-free life as adults.

Start the conversation about having fewer things long before you break out the garbage bags and cardboard boxes or even suggest they part with a toy. Here are several ideas for starting a conversation about getting rid of things with a school-aged child:

1. Around her birthday or at Christmas, ask your child to make room for new gifts. This can be as simple as asking her to fill a box with things she no longer likes. The excitement of the upcoming gifts is often enough to spark a flurry of streamlining. If your child resists, then suggest she wait until after she has received her gifts—for every new item, ask her to donate one item in return.
   
2. Raise funds or donate items to a favorite cause. If your child is an animal lover, help him sell his old toys, books, and clothes to raise money for an ape habitat or the local zoo. Let your child choose a charity and then set a goal for donating a certain number of boxes or bags of things he isn't using or wearing.
   
3. Motivate her with assistance for a big purchase. Saving money is a great skill to learn at this age. If your child is saving for a big-ticket item like a bike or gaming device, assist her in selling the things she rarely uses or wears. If the items aren't worth much or you don't have time to list them or hold a garage sale, consider paying your kids to declutter. Tell them for every bag of clothing or box of toys they give away, you will give them a certain number of dollars toward their big purchase.
   
4. Institute some house rules. This is a great tactic for families struggling to make daily cleanup a routine. Anything left out after bedtime is put in a box for donation. For higher-value items, give a three-strike rule. Your children will quickly realize what things are important enough for them to take care of and what items aren't being used or cherished enough to keep.
   
5. Set a space or number as a guideline for toys and clothing. Use a toy chest or storage system to set a limit on how many toys your children have. Let them pick through what they own and choose what stays and what goes. The same goes for their clothing. If they can't fit it in their closets or dressers, it has to go.
   

Play to your children's strengths and interests to get them onboard and excited about living with less stuff. Be sure to share all the benefits they'll get out of having less stuff, such as less time spent cleaning their rooms, the chance to have fewer things of better quality that they will cherish, and the good they will do the environment and community. Every child and family is different, so if at first your child doesn't take to the idea of owning fewer things, try another tactic from the list above.

Modern teenagers are often savvier consumers than their parents. In the age of the Internet and smartphones, teens not only know the cost of clothing and electronics, but they know exactly what they want. Teens know how they want to spend their own money and their parents'. They have more stuff—jeans, shoes, and iPods—than any generation before them. Teens not only have a lot of stuff, but they are also very attached to it as symbols of social status.

How do you get teens to reduce their wardrobes by half and give up one of their electronic devices? Like their younger counterparts, they will need a strategy that motivates them either with the allure of fewer but better things or a call to a cause that means something to them. All of it should be backed up with the phrase that any person of any age will find appealing: Less stuff will make cleaning your room faster and easier.

To get your teens onboard with the family plan to streamline your home, treat them like the adults they are becoming. Budgeting, time management, and taking care of their possessions are all skills they'll need when they leave the nest. Show them how you use those skills as a home manager and ask them to step up and help out. Consult them on the home schedule or meal plans, and then ask them to manage it for a week. As part of their weekly chores, ask them to clean out anything that is expired from the medicine cabinet and pantry. If something of theirs breaks and needs to be repaired, ask them to split the cost with you by either selling something they own or using their own funds from an allowance or job. These are small steps to help them grasp how much work it takes to manage a household that is low on time and money and high on stuff.