Dockside (29 page)

He turned to her, savoring the sight of her, still slightly groggy but clearly grateful for the coffee. Her eyes seemed misty, a bit unfocused, and her mouth was soft, as though she was about to smile. Unable to resist, he crossed to the bed, slipped beneath the covers. He was mesmerized by a gap in the sheet covering her breasts. “Hey, Nina—”

“Greg, I—”

They both spoke at once, both hesitated. “Sorry,” he said. “Go ahead.”

She set her coffee very deliberately on the nightstand. “I just thought you should know, this changes things.”

He settled in beside her, propped himself up on his elbow and used his free hand to punctuate the conversation, watching her face as he touched her. “Good. I’m ready for something different.”

She shivered a little, but didn’t push him away. “So that’s what this is, a change of pace to keep you from getting bored?”

He couldn’t help smiling. “Yeah, that’s it. Exactly.”

She put her hand over his, stopping his under-the-sheets teasing. “I can’t talk when you do that.”

“My plan is working, then.”

“Are we really not going to talk about this?”

That would be too good to be true, he reflected. But gamely enough, he grew serious. “That day in the attic, you asked me why I was telling you about my marriage. I wanted you to know I get it. I know what went wrong. And I know how to get it right.”

“It all seems a little fast to me.”

He thought about all the times their lives had crossed paths over the years. “Not to me.”

“I’m not so good with change,” she admitted.

“Believe me, it’s not a bad thing.”

“Depends on what it changes into—something good and strong and fulfilling, or something complicated and messy and sad.”

“You act as though we don’t have a choice. Don’t get cold feet on me now, Nina. It’s too late for that, anyway.” He traced the line of her jaw with his index finger. He wanted to learn every part of her, the geography of her body as well as the secrets of her heart.

She turned to him, her eyes filled with uncertainty. “What are we doing, Greg?”

“Falling in love.”

“Right. Very funny.”

“I’m not joking. We’re falling in love. Tell me you’re not feeling it.”

“You can’t just—”

“Sure I can, honey. It’s happened to me before. I know what it’s like. I can identify all the signs. And this is…whew. Off-the-charts better than anything I’ve ever felt before.”

“Well, maybe I’m not that experienced, but I’m sure I’d recognize the feeling when it came along.” She ducked her head as she spoke, as if she didn’t want him to see her face.

“You’re probably having a tough time admitting it, but my God, Nina. There were moments last night…” His body reacted to the memory, and he shifted even closer to her, catching her gasp of surprise with a kiss, tasting her, skimming his hands down her body. “Even in the dark, with the lights out, some things can’t be hidden,” he said.

She shuddered a little as he caressed her, moving close.

Greg didn’t really like the direction the conversation had taken. Talking was inadequate in this situation. There were things he needed to tell her, but not with words. He knew of one way to avert the discussion. Several ways, actually. They’d tried only a few the previous night. Maybe this morning, they’d discover a few more.

A
ll, right, Nina, she told herself as she got out of the car and went to find Jenny and Olivia. She’d agreed to join them today at Camp Kioga to help create little parcels of birdseed for the wedding. Focus, she admonished herself. Be cool. For god’s sake, don’t act as if anything is different.

“Something’s different about you,” Jenny said as Nina walked into the main pavilion. Jenny had all the materials spread out on a long table—spools of white satin ribbon, tiny squares of mesh, a big sack of birdseed.

Nina tried to act nonchalant. Okay, maybe she was walking a bit gingerly. Maybe she had a vague, stupidly satisfied look on her face. She and Greg had spent every night together for the past week, and very little sleeping had been accomplished. And—she couldn’t lie to herself—she loved it. She loved every little ache and twinge of ecstasy she felt as she went about her business during the day, guarding her delicious secret. There were moments when she also felt vulnerable and afraid of what might happen next, but she kept that a secret, too.

“I had a hair appointment,” she told Jenny.

“No, that’s not it…. Oh. You got laid.”

“I didn—”

“You did, indeed. And it’s about time. So it’s Greg, right?”

“What’s Greg?” asked Olivia, walking into the room, carrying a basket of more supplies. Her little dog trotted at her heels.

“Nina slept with Greg.”

“It’s about time.” Olivia grinned at Jenny. “She looks pissed.” The dog flopped down at her feet and curled up for a nap.

“She is pissed. She wanted to keep it a secret while she decides whether or not this was a short-lived fling, or if it’s the start of something. So she’s pissed because we guessed the secret.”

“
You
did, Miss Smarty-Pants. Remind me to steer clear of you when I have a secret.” Despite her words, Olivia regarded Jenny with open affection. Every once in a while, Nina saw the family resemblance in them and was reminded they were both Philip Bellamy’s daughters. And right now, they were in cahoots and they were the enemy.

“Can we please not talk about this?” she asked.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Jenny asked.

“This is not about fun. This is about…God, I don’t know what it’s about.”

“Sure you do—finally,” Jenny said. “You’ve had a crush on Greg forever. And now he likes you back. So where’s the problem?”

“Everywhere I look,” Nina said. “I see nothing but trouble ahead.”

“That’s not like you,” Jenny said. “You’re the girl with all the solutions. You always have been.”

“Not anymore. I don’t know how to do this, how to be this person. It used to be easy when it was just me and Sonnet, you know?” She tried to make a little packet of birdseed, but it kept spilling across the table.

“Easy? Being a single mother is easy?” Jenny carefully placed a scoop of birdseed on a square of mesh and drew up the corners.

“Making my own choices is easy,” Nina clarified. She grabbed a pair of scissors and cut a piece of ribbon, efficiently doing up Jenny’s small bundle. “I didn’t have to check with anyone, you know, or take some guy into consideration.”

Jenny smiled. “I’ve never known you to shy away from a challenge.”

“I just don’t know how to…do this,” she admitted, looking at Jenny and Olivia. Love had changed these women, both of them. And she knew things hadn’t been easy for either of them. Jenny had lost everything in a fire; Olivia had walked away from a life that wasn’t working for her—and each woman had taken a leap of faith. In a way, it seemed that love had actually saved them, given them a new life. A better life. Yet Nina simply couldn’t see herself doing such a thing, letting go, taking such a huge risk with her heart. It all seemed impossible. “Okay, so the falling-in-love bit, I get that. It’s really not that hard, especially not with someone like Greg. The thing I don’t understand is what makes it last, and how you can escape getting hurt,” she explained. “And especially with Greg Bellamy. I look at all the complications and it…it scares me.”

Olivia and Jenny exchanged a glance. “It shouldn’t,” Jenny said. “You’re already living that life, and you’re doing just fine.”

No,
thought Nina.
I’m not.
Maybe the thing with Greg was just a fling, a one-night stand that went on a little too long.

No. It was something so beautiful that it hurt, something she craved like an addict. Something too fragile and dangerous to last.

“You know what,” she said to the others, “I’m not going to think about this today. We’re getting ready for a wedding, for lord’s sake, and worrying about my love life doesn’t seem right.”

“I don’t mind,” Olivia said. “But—”

“Here comes the bride,” sang two women, parading into the room, holding a zippered bag. They were Olivia’s and Jenny’s cousins, named Dare and Francine, Nina recalled. They both had the Bellamy good looks and the sporty, effortless ease of people born to privilege. Behind them came Freddy Delgado, Olivia’s best friend and business partner from the city. He was adorable, with fashionable blond-tipped hair and hip-hop clothes that somehow looked just right on him. And he was clearly smitten with Dare, who directed him to stand up on a bench and hold the zippered bag up off the floor.

“It’s here,” Francine announced. “Back from the final alterations.”

Discreetly, Olivia slipped her hand into Jenny’s and held fast as Dare unzipped the bag with a flourish. When Freddy reverently drew out the dress and veil, even Nina was affected. It was
that
beautiful, a couture dress of ivory silk with a bodice sewn with crystal beads and gorgeous swags of gossamer tulle.

“It’s incredible,” Jenny said. “It’s the prettiest dress ever.”

Olivia laughed with relief and joy. Nina guessed that she’d been concerned about sibling rivalry, but she needn’t have. Jenny and Rourke had married quickly and quietly—their choice—and Nina knew Jenny didn’t envy her all the fuss and bother. Clearly loving it, Olivia climbed up on the bench beside Freddy and put the veil on her head, while he held the gown against her. Nina was amazed to feel a surge of tender emotion. There was something about the sight of a bride…. Seeing Olivia standing there, incandescent with joy, embodied a dream Nina had never allowed herself to have.

She watched as the others gathered around, oohing and ahhing over the dress. For no reason other than her own insecurity, she felt like an outsider amidst this group, the hired help as opposed to one of the family. It was that age-old invisible line that had always existed in a town like Avalon—the summer people versus the locals. She knew it was a false division, particularly now, yet her sense of it was keen.

While everyone was talking at once, someone else arrived. Only Nina saw her at first. She was tall and self-possessed, wearing a beige designer suit, big-eyed designer shades and carrying a Chanel bag. Every blond hair was in place and her makeup was perfect, done with a light touch. She might have stepped right off the society pages—resort edition. As recognition dawned on Nina, the world tilted.

“Sophie!” Francine spotted her and gave a little cry of delight. “You made it! Everyone, Sophie’s here.”

The oohing and ahhing shifted from the dress to the new arrival—Sophie Bellamy, Greg’s ex-wife. She walked into their midst, smiling, hugging and air-kissing. Jenny and Nina exchanged a glance, then eyed the swinging doors to the kitchen with longing. Jenny shook her head. She was right, Nina conceded. Best to get this over with. Oh, boy, though. The way people were watching, with ill-concealed tension, she knew everyone was braced for drama. Damn it, she thought. Did everyone in the room know about her and Greg? Oh, God—did Sophie?

“Here’s Jenny,” Olivia said, drawing her forward. “My half sister. And this is Jenny’s friend, Nina.”

“Nice to meet you,” Nina said, her smile bright and sincere, a trick she had perfected back in her city-politics days. “Nina Romano.”

An equally sincere smile greeted her. Clearly, Sophie was no stranger to politics, either. “It’s so good to meet you in person. Sonnet’s an absolute joy. When she came to visit me in The Hague, she told me so much about you.”

All right, so she hadn’t yet received the memo. Either that, or the woman knew how to give an Oscar-worthy performance. Nina’s neck itched, but she resisted the urge to scratch it. She wished she’d taken the time to dress better today. Maybe taken ten seconds and put on a bit of lipstick. Because Sophie was dazzling in a classy, put-together fashion that made Nina feel like a complete slob. “Thanks,” Nina said. “And thank you for showing her around The Hague.”

“It was my pleasure, believe me. I only wish my own children would take that kind of interest in the city where I live.”

Try taking an interest in your own children.
Nina couldn’t keep herself from thinking it.

Yet as Sophie turned to exclaim over the wedding gown, Nina had to admire her firm control. She was pleasant and cool, like a breeze off the lake. The sunglasses let in only enough light to show the shape of her eyes. Slowly, she took them off and looked around the dining hall. “Wow,” she said, “this certainly brings back memories.”

This was where Sophie’s own wedding had taken place—the ceremony out on the deck and the reception right here in the hall, with an ensemble playing on a raised dais in the corner. And a bridegroom who’d had too much to drink and punched a hole in the wall. Since Nina wasn’t sure Sophie was talking to her, she didn’t reply. She was convinced Sophie didn’t remember her from the past. Why would she remember the catering help?

“Olivia, I really appreciate that you included me,” Sophie said.

“Of course I’m going to include you,” Olivia replied.

“I was worried that, with the divorce—”

“Don’t give it a thought. I’m honored that you came. And I’m excited for you, you know, about the baby.”

“Excited.” Sophie was cool about this, too. Calm and bemused. The woman was an ice queen. “Yes, of course.”

“I’d better be going,” Nina said, certain she’d make a fool of herself if she lingered. “See you around, Sophie. Olivia, the dress is amazing. I’ll see you on your big day.”

Jenny walked out with her, exploding in the parking lot. “Oh. My. God. Can you believe her? How weird was that?”

“Too weird for me.” Nina glanced back over her shoulder. “I think I’ll skip the wedding—”

“Oh, no you don’t,” Jenny said. “Especially not because of that woman.”

“It’s Olivia’s day.”

“Yes, it is, which is why you’re not going to cause a drama by boycotting her wedding.”

“It wouldn’t be a boycott. I—”

“Enough. You’re coming. And Sophie will be there and so will Greg and it will be fine, because we’re all grown-ups, right?”

“Last time I checked.” Nina opened her car door.

Jenny held it ajar. “Hang on,” she said, studying Nina’s face. “You’re a wreck.”

There was no point in denying it, not to Jenny. “I’m just…not used to dealing with something like this.”

Jenny, who had always had the softest of hearts, pulled Nina into a hug. “Sweetie, you’ve always been such a stoic. Ever since you were in high school with a new baby. It’s all right to be vulnerable every once in a while.”

Nina stepped back, nodded her head. “That’s easier said than done. Over the years, I’ve gotten so used to being by myself that I don’t really know how to do this. You know, I look back and ask myself, do I have regrets? I tell myself that I don’t. When you’re in the position I was in, you feel like you’re on display. Some people vilify you, but others admire you for taking the ultimate responsibility, for sacrificing. You give up things like education and career options and maybe some personal privacy, but those things don’t crush you. There’s really only one thing that crushes you, and it’s this—that you miss out on the one kind of love that makes all the difference, the kind of sweep-you-off-your-feet romance that only comes during certain special times in a person’s life. And when you’ve got a kid and you’re struggling to survive, you tend to miss those special moments—they pass you by and you don’t even know what you’ve missed. And I thought that chance was gone for me, that I’d left it behind somewhere in my twenties. That’s why Greg is such a surprise. I’m feeling things now that I never felt before. This stuff might be old hat to someone else, but for me, it’s a first. That’s why I’m so scared.”

Now they were both crying, Nina grabbed a box of Kleenex from her car, offering it to Jenny. “And if you say one word of this to your sister—”

“I’d never. I only want what I’ve always wanted for you,” Jenny said. “Don’t talk yourself out of this, Nina. Just because he’s complicated doesn’t mean he isn’t right for you.”