Dockside (33 page)

“Nine pounds isn’t so light,” Greg’s mother said. “Dear, we’re very happy for you, aren’t we, Charles.”

“Proudest great-grandparents in the world,” Greg’s father agreed.

Max held the baby awkwardly, and shuffled over to the bed as though carrying a stick of dynamite. “Here you go,” he said to Daisy.

“Here we go,” she said, settling the blanket into the crook of her arm. The baby stirred, stretching his head back and emitting a puppylike sound, but he didn’t wake up. His tiny red fists clutched the edge of the blanket. Daisy gazed down at him, smiling. One minute, she looked as vulnerable as the baby, and the next, as fierce and protective as a mother bear.

Her grandparents kissed her and the baby, and took Max to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Greg lingered, stealing glances at the baby. With each passing minute, he felt something growing in his heart—a peculiar kind of joy, the kind that lifted him up off the floor, made everything suddenly seem effortless. Daisy seemed to be feeling it, too. She held the swaddled bundle, gazing down with an expression on her face that reminded Greg of every Christmas morning they’d ever shared, all rolled into one.

Then she lifted her eyes, and the smile disappeared as she looked at something over his shoulder. He turned to see a stranger in the doorway.

“Logan,” Daisy said.

Greg stiffened. So this was Logan O’Donnell. Al O’Donnell’s boy. He had the look of his father—broad and handsome, blue-eyed, with a shock of flame-colored hair. A sharp sense of protectiveness seized Greg.

“Logan, this is my dad,” Daisy said.

“Mr. Bellamy.” Logan held out his hand.

Greg hesitated. He felt a sharp spike of aversion. Then he remembered himself, eighteen years ago, a sudden father greeting Sophie’s parents for the first time. He took the proffered hand. “Logan.”

“Sir, I didn’t come to cause trouble,” Logan said. “I need to see Daisy and…the baby.”

“It’s okay, Dad,” Daisy said. “I called him.”

With leaden reluctance, he left them alone. As he turned to shut the door, he saw Logan approach the bed as though approaching a wild animal, slowly, his gaze never wavering. Daisy angled the baby toward him and said something, and he took a step closer, his face lit with reverence.

As Greg quietly closed the door, the joy he felt over the baby—his
grandson
—darkened as he felt Daisy being torn from him. She’d called Logan O’Donnell. She was already making her own decisions, her own connections, without consulting him. On the one hand, Greg understood that this was healthy, a necessary step away from him, from home. She needed to take control, make decisions on her own.

Just like Nina had told him. Oh, man.
Nina.
He was in agony as he paced the hospital corridor. He lost track of time, and was in thought when Logan came out of Daisy’s room. He looked chastened, his eyes damp. “I want you to know, Daisy and I are going to figure out a way to make this work,” he said. “I know you want what’s best for her. It’s what I want, too.”

Greg rubbed his jaw. He hadn’t shaved in a hundred years. “You’re saying the right things, Logan. I hope that means you’ll do the right thing.”

“I will,” the boy said. He glanced down at a handwritten list on a scrap of paper. “She wants a pizza.”

Greg nodded. “It’s a start.”

As soon as Logan left, Greg went back in to see Daisy. Her eyes were damp, too, but she looked calm. “I’m fine, Dad,” she said. “It’s going to be all right.”

“I hope so, Daze. Just, please. Don’t rush into anything.”

“I won’t. Logan and I haven’t decided anything yet. We need to do a lot more talking.” She hugged the sleeping baby closer. “At first, I thought I never wanted to see him again. I didn’t want him to have anything to do with Charlie.”

“Charlie?”

“Logan says people might mispronounce Emile.”

“You think?”

Her eyes misty, she leaned back against the pillows. “Anyway, Dad, you mean the world to me. I can’t imagine what my life would have been like without you, and so I started thinking, what about Emile? What if he needs Logan the way I’ve always needed you?”

Greg had to clear his throat. He prayed his voice wouldn’t break. “You know I’ll always be there for you, no matter what.”

“I do, Dad. And…you can go, you know,” Daisy said to Greg.

“I know.” He stayed where he was.

“We’re going to be okay, this little guy and me.”

“I know that, too. I thought I’d wait until your mother gets back.”

“You don’t have to.” She toyed with a corner of the baby’s blanket. “I was so glad you were both with me last night,” she said.

“We’ll always be with you.”

“I thought, I don’t know, just for a minute I thought the baby and I would bring the two of you together, heal something.”

“We aren’t together,” he told her. “But something was healed.”

She smiled. “That’s good. And seriously, I want you to know, that even after everything that happened yesterday, I meant what I said to you and Mom before the wedding.”

“Daze, we don’t need to talk about that, not now.”

“Maybe not, but I don’t want you to forget or pretend it’s news to you that I want to be on my own.” He started to say something, but she stopped him with a look. “I know you. That’s what you do, you act like you never heard this before. I want to make sure this doesn’t get put on the back burner. It’s my life. I do love you, Daddy, and there are some things that are just so much easier when I’m with you. But that’s not living my life. That’s being your daughter. There’s a difference. I need to be my own person—for myself, and now for Emile.”

“I’m not opposed to that,” he said.

“Yes, you are. And you need to get used to it. And another thing. Don’t be all pissed at Nina for giving me advice.” She smiled with a peculiar female wisdom. “I know all about Nina.”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” he stated, although his stomach was churning. How the hell did she do it? He had a glass head.

“We both know. Listen, when you went out with other women, I couldn’t quite figure out why it was hard for me to like them. I thought it was probably because deep down, I only wanted you to be with Mom. Or by yourself. And now there’s Nina.”

Nina, he thought. The hell with Nina. The hell with anyone who would tell Daisy to go off on her own. He should not even be thinking of Nina at a time like this, but for some reason, she stayed on his mind. She’d looked so happy and breathless at the wedding, moments before he ripped into her. She’d been dewy-eyed, wearing an expression he’d seen on her face only rarely, like when they’d been making love. Why couldn’t she be that woman? His lover, his confidante. Not someone who would encourage his daughter to leave home.

But then…Greg pictured her smile. The way she got so excited about things. Her open manner with everyone she met. Her quick temper, quicker laughter and her swift, honest passion for the things she did…for him.

“I’m happy for you, Dad.” Daisy’s face glowed as though she was in possession of some kind of mystical feminine wisdom. “Really. I think you and Nina are great together. I can tell you’re crazy about each other, and I just feel like this is different, you know. I love seeing you with her. She brings you alive, Dad, really.”

Oh. Well, shit.

“What’s that look, Dad?”

“I, um, I kind of broke up with her at the wedding reception.”

“Tell me you didn’t. Tell me you did not do this incredibly stupid thing.”

“I did this incredibly stupid thing.”

“Then go undo it, Dad. Hurry.”

L
ate at night, Nina stood on the dock of the Inn at Willow Lake, maybe for the last time. She was bidding farewell to a long-held dream, but more than that, to something infinitely richer and deeper. To the love she’d found with Greg. She suspected his “you’re fired” was blurted out in haste. But Nina didn’t actually need to hear the words. She knew she had made the decision in her heart before she consciously thought it—
I can’t stay here.

It was hard on every single level to say goodbye. But the Inn at Willow Lake was just a place, she reminded herself. A place she’d dreamed about, a place she’d lived and worked at for a while. Now it was time to move on, taking her dreams with her. She hoped she would always remember the sound of the loons on the lake, the glassy path of the full moon on the water, the stirring of the breeze through the maples and the gentle ripples across the surface.

It was a beautiful summer night, the kind of night that closed around you and made you feel safe, but she didn’t feel that now. She walked out to the very end of the dock, her heart full of nostalgia. It was as though her tethers had been cut. She was flying free, aimlessly, with no thought as to where she would land. Maybe that was a good thing, but it didn’t feel so good. She felt overwhelmed and…damaged somehow, as if a part of her had been ripped away, not by the thought of leaving this place, but by the thought of leaving Greg Bellamy.

How crazy was that, to fall in love with him? She’d spent the whole summer talking herself out of it, and in the end, her heart had pulled her in over her head anyway. Love. It was something she thought she knew. She loved her family, her friends. She loved her daughter with a depth and commitment that had no end. But this was something wholly different, heady and consuming, yet…fragile. Uncertain. Why had she let herself believe loving Greg could be enough to hold them together?

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing there when she heard someone behind her. One of the guests? No, it was—

“Nina.” Greg walked toward her. She recognized his voice and his easy, loose-limbed gait. The moonlight outlined his form in precise detail. The silvery glow cast everything in shades of gray, as though they were images from an old movie.

She felt her heart speed up. Just the sight of him, even now, made her happy. Yet at the same time, she was on the verge of tears. Stop it, she told herself. Not now. She cleared her throat and asked him, “How’s Daisy?”

“She’s great. The baby’s great, too.” He seemed to have come fresh from the shower, she noticed, in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts, his hair damp and fragrant. “She named him Emile. It’s French.”

“I know.”

“Don’t ask me why she picked it. His middle name’s Charles, after my dad.”

“That’s good.” She silently begged him to stop telling her about his life; she had to learn not to care about these things. “And how are you?”

“Relieved. Happy. Completely freaked. I have a grandson, for chrissakes.”

“Congratulations, Greg. It’s going to be wonderful for all of you. I just know it.”

A long, tense silence stretched out between them, and suddenly she was yearning for the inane chitchat. She tried not to think about the fact that she knew so much about this man, and she’d given him so much of herself. She had opened the door to her heart and let him in where she’d never let anyone else, ever. She didn’t want to regret that. She hoped she never would.

“Nina—”

“Greg—”

They both spoke at once. All right, she told herself. Deep breath. Get it over with, like ripping a Band-Aid off a wound. “I’ve been trying to think about where I’m going next.”

“Don’t go anywhere. I didn’t mean what I said. I was a complete ass. I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry.
Such sweet, simple words. They came from the heart and she believed him completely. But she also believed that whatever they had together was tenuous. When it came to intimacy, her track record was almost non-existent, and she had to believe there was a reason for that. “I’m not mad, Greg, but I do have to go. We don’t need to talk about it. It’s just something that needs to happen.” She refused to say I told you so, but hadn’t she? Hadn’t she said that if they got involved and it didn’t go well, their troubles would interfere with their work at the inn?

“You’re not leaving,” he said.

“I am. Let’s not argue about it.”

“Okay, we won’t argue. There’s something I want to be sure you understand, though. The things I said at the wedding reception…I spoke out of panic and fear and anger that didn’t have anything to do with you.”

“I realize that. The things you said were still pretty cruel.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I was freaking out and pissed and none of it was about you.”

God forbid that she should mistake her own importance to him. “Greg, what is it you’re trying to say?”

“You can’t leave. You love this place. You belong here.”

She felt hollowed out by hurt. She wanted to hear that she belonged with
him.
She wanted to feel that, to know it beyond a doubt. “That doesn’t matter,” she said.

“Hell, yes, it matters. If it doesn’t matter, then I don’t know what does.”

A terrible silence, weighted by doubts, stretched out between them. She could hear the water lapping at the pilings of the dock, the soughing of the wind through the trees. Then he made a tortured, wordless sound and pulled her into his arms. She resisted, but then something made her melt and she lifted her face to his. Make me believe, she thought.

He kissed her then, and it was a kiss of possession and searing honesty that left her breathless and stunned. It made her remember the ways he’d touched her, the times they’d laughed together and the times they’d lain quiet, listening to the night. When he came up for air, he said, “That’s pretty much what I’ve been trying to say, only I’m not so good with words.”

For a fleeting moment, a heartbeat of hope, she soared. Then she remembered all the roadblocks in their way. “It’s not about words,” she managed to say in a broken whisper, trying to pull away from him. “It’s about the fact that we’re in such different places in our lives.”

“Damn, Nina, you’ve spent the whole summer dwelling on all the reasons we can’t be together. All the reasons things won’t work out for us. And while you were doing that, everything was working out. Except for yesterday. I said I was sorry but you’ve got no reason to believe that. Stay, Nina. Just…stay, and I’ll make you believe. I swear I will.”

She looked up at him, and wondered how he’d guessed at her thoughts.
Make me believe.
Slowly but undeniably, the hollowed-out place inside her began to fill. This was his great strength, the thing she could never resist. He had an uncanny ability to jump back into love and commitment even after a failed marriage and painful divorce. He wasn’t afraid of relationships, not the way Nina was. She needed his courage when it came to matters of the heart. She needed
him.
The summer had been amazing, she conceded, and full of surprises. This was nothing new to Nina. Things never seemed to turn out the way she expected. This appeared to be the way life had always revealed itself to her.

She looked at him and thought, they turned out
better.
She’d wanted the inn; instead she found herself with a partner. She’d wanted her independence, and she’d fallen head-over-heels for Greg
and
his kids. Throughout the autumn and winter, Nina and Greg had grown closer with each passing day. She wasn’t afraid of this relationship anymore, and she no longer worried about the complications in his life.

She took a deep breath and said, “I’ve lived in the same town my whole life. I was thinking, tonight, that maybe I need to live a different life, do something else.”

“You’ve done plenty, Nina. But I can think of something you haven’t done.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“You’ve never been in love. Remember? You told me that, a long time ago.”

“It’s not true anymore.” She blurted it out, just like that. The words were out there, not the way she’d planned to tell him, but she couldn’t snatch them back. Nor did she want to. Starting over didn’t mean she would struggle as she had before. This new beginning was a joyful one.

He didn’t even look surprised. “It’s about time you said something. I’ve been waiting.”

“You knew?”

At that, he laughed.
Laughed.
“You’re not exactly a poker face.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“I won’t lie to you. I was married for a long time.” He grinned. “We can’t all be virgins, you know.”

“Very funny.”

“Nina. I said I was married for a long time. And clearly, it ended badly. For a while, I lost any faith I might have had in my ability to trust anybody. Including myself. Including my own feelings.”

“Which are?” She knew asking the question was a risk, but she had to find out what he was thinking.

“What I’m saying is, you can’t go through something like that and not learn anything. I know what love is. And what it isn’t.” He held her close, tenderly now, and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “I know I’m just completely in love with you. I plan on staying that way for good, so get used to it.”

She didn’t realize she’d been holding her breath until she let it out on a long wave of relief. It was enough, she realized. It was everything.