Doctor Zhivago (22 page)

The next day, coming to dinner, Zhivago said:

“So you couldn’t wait to leave, and now you’ve called it down on us. I can’t say, ‘You’re in luck,’ because what kind of luck is it that we’re pressed back or beaten again? The way east is free, and we’re being squeezed from the west. All army medical units are ordered to pack up. Tomorrow or the day after, we’ll be on our way. Where—nobody knows. And of course Mikhail Grigorievich’s laundry hasn’t been washed, has it, Karpenko. The eternal story. It’s that woman, that woman … but ask him what woman, he doesn’t know himself, the blockhead.”

He did not listen to what his medical orderly spun out to justify himself, and paid no attention to Gordon, who was upset that he had been wearing Zhivago’s linen and was leaving in his shirt. Zhivago went on.

“Ah, this camp life, these Gypsy wanderings. When we moved in here, none of it was to my liking—the stove was in the wrong place, the ceiling was low, it was dirty and stuffy. And now for the life of me I can’t remember where we were stationed before this. And it seems I could spend all my life here, looking at the stove in the corner, with sun on the tiles and the shadow of a roadside tree moving over it.”

They began unhurriedly to pack.

During the night they were awakened by noise and shouts, gunshots and running feet. There was a sinister glow over the village. Shadows flitted past the windows. The owners of the house woke up and began stirring behind the wall.

“Run out, Karpenko, ask what’s the cause of this bedlam,” said Yuri Andreevich.

Soon everything became known. Zhivago himself dressed hastily and went to the hospital to verify the rumors, which proved correct. The Germans had broken the resistance in this sector. The line of defense had moved closer to the village and kept getting closer. The village was under fire. The hospital and offices were quickly removed, without waiting for the order to evacuate. Everything was supposed to be finished before dawn.

“You’ll go with the first echelon. The carriage is leaving now, but I told
them to wait for you. Well, good-bye. I’ll come with you and see that you get seated.”

They were running to the other end of the village, where the detachment was formed up. Running past the houses, they bent down and hid behind their projecting parts. Bullets hummed and whined in the street. From intersections with roads leading to the fields, they could see shrapnel exploding over them in umbrellas of flame.

“And what about you?” Gordon asked as they ran.

“I’ll come later. I must go home and get my things. I’ll be in the second party.”

They said good-bye at the village gate. The carriage and the several carts that made up the train set off, driving into each other and gradually forming a line. Yuri Andreevich waved to his departing friend. The flames of a burning barn lit them up.

Again trying to stay close to the cottages, under cover of their corners, Yuri Andreevich quickly headed back to his place. Two houses before his own porch, he was knocked off his feet by the blast of an explosion and wounded by a shrapnel bullet. Yuri Andreevich fell in the middle of the road, covered with blood, and lost consciousness.

The hospital in the rear was lost in one of the little towns in the western territory, on a railway line, near general headquarters. Warm days set in at the end of February. In the ward for convalescent officers, at the request of Yuri Andreevich, who was a patient there, the window next to his bed had been opened.

Dinnertime was approaching. The patients filled the remaining time however they could. They had been told that a new nurse had come to the hospital and would make her rounds for the first time that day. Lying across from Yuri Andreevich, Galiullin was looking through the just-arrived editions of
Speech
and
The Russian Word
and exclaiming indignantly at the blanks in the print left by the censors. Yuri Andreevich was reading letters from Tonya, a number of which had accumulated and were delivered all at once by the field post. The wind stirred the pages of the letters and newspapers. Light footsteps were heard. Yuri Andreevich raised his eyes from a letter. Lara came into the ward.

Yuri Andreevich and the lieutenant each recognized her on his own, without knowing about the other. She did not know either of them. She said:

“Good afternoon. Why is the window open? Aren’t you cold?”—and she
went up to Galiullin. “What’s your complaint?” she asked and took his wrist to count the pulse, but at the same moment she let go of it and sat down on a chair by his cot, perplexed.

“How unexpected, Larissa Fyodorovna,” said Galiullin. “I served in the same regiment as your husband and knew Pavel Pavlovich. I have his belongings ready for you.”

“It can’t be, it can’t be,” she repeated. “What an amazing chance. So you knew him? Tell me quickly, how did it all happen? So he died buried under the earth? Don’t conceal anything, don’t be afraid. I know everything.”

Galiullin did not have the heart to confirm her information, which was based on rumors. He decided to lie in order to calm her.

“Antipov was taken prisoner,” he said. “He got too far ahead with his unit during an attack and found himself alone. They surrounded him. He was forced to surrender.”

But Lara did not believe Galiullin. The stunning suddenness of the conversation agitated her. She could not hold back the rising tears and did not want to cry in front of strangers. She got up quickly and left the ward, to regain her composure in the corridor.

After a moment she came back, outwardly calm. She deliberately did not look at Galiullin in the corner, so as not to start crying again. Going straight to Yuri Andreevich’s bed, she said absentmindedly and by rote:

“Good afternoon. What’s your complaint?”

Yuri Andreevich had observed her agitation and tears, wanted to ask her what was the matter, wanted to tell her how he had seen her twice in his life, as a schoolboy and as a university student, but he thought it would come out as too familiar and she would misunderstand him. Then he suddenly remembered the dead Anna Ivanovna in her coffin and Tonya’s cries that time in Sivtsev Vrazhek, restrained himself, and, instead of all that, said:

“Thank you. I’m a doctor myself, and I treat myself on my own. I have no need of anything.”

“Why is he offended with me?” Lara thought and looked in surprise at this snub-nosed, in no way remarkable stranger.

For several days there was changing, unstable weather, with a warm, endlessly muttering wind in the nights, which smelled of wet earth.

And all those days strange information came from headquarters, alarming rumors arrived from home, from inside the country. Telegraph connections with Petersburg kept being interrupted. Everywhere, at every corner, political conversations went on.

Each time she was on duty, the nurse Antipova made two rounds, in the morning and in the evening, and exchanged inconsequential remarks with
patients in other wards, with Galiullin and Yuri Andreevich. “A strange, curious man,” she thought. “Young and unfriendly. Snub-nosed, and you couldn’t call him very handsome. But intelligent in the best sense of the word, with an alive, winning mind. But that’s not the point. The point is that I must quickly finish my obligations here and get transferred to Moscow, closer to Katenka. And in Moscow I must apply to be discharged as a nurse and go back home to Yuriatin, to my work at the school. It’s all clear about poor Patulechka, there’s no hope, and so there’s no more need to stay on as a heroine of the battlefield, the whole thing was cooked up for the sake of finding him.”

How is it there with Katenka now? Poor little orphan (here she began to cry). Some very sharp changes have been noticeable recently. Not long ago there was a sacred duty to the motherland, military valor, lofty social feelings. But the war is lost, that’s the main calamity, and all the rest comes from that, everything is dethroned, nothing is sacred.

Suddenly everything has changed, the tone, the air; you don’t know how to think or whom to listen to. As if you’ve been led all your life like a little child, and suddenly you’re let out—go, learn to walk by yourself. And there’s no one around, no family, no authority. Then you’d like to trust the main thing, the force of life, or beauty, or truth, so that it’s them and not the overturned human principles that guide you, fully and without regret, more fully than it used to be in that peaceful, habitual life that has gone down and been abolished. But in her case—Lara would catch herself in time—this purpose, this unconditional thing will be Katenka. Now, without Patulechka, Lara is only a mother and will give all her forces to Katenka, the poor little orphan.

Yuri Andreevich learned from a letter that Gordon and Dudorov had released his book without his permission, that it had been praised and a great literary future was prophesied for him, and that it was very interesting and alarming in Moscow now, the latent vexation of the lower classes was growing, we were on the eve of something important, serious political events were approaching.

It was late at night. Yuri Andreevich was overcome by a terrible sleepiness. He dozed off intermittently and fancied that, after the day’s excitement, he could not fall asleep, that he was not asleep. Outside the window, the sleepy, sleepily breathing wind kept yawning and tossing. The wind wept and prattled: “Tonya, Shurochka, how I miss you, how I want to be home, at work!” And to the muttering of the wind, Yuri Andreevich slept, woke up, and fell asleep in a quick succession of happiness and suffering, impetuous and alarming, like this changing weather, like this unstable night.

Lara thought: “He showed so much care, preserving this memory, these poor things of Patulechka’s, and I’m such a pig, I didn’t even ask who he is or where he’s from.”

During the next morning’s round, to make up for her omission and smooth over the traces of her ingratitude, she asked Galiullin about it all and kept saying “oh” and “ah.”

“Lord, holy is Thy will! Twenty-eight Brestskaya Street, the Tiverzins, the revolutionary winter of 1905! Yusupka? No, I didn’t know Yusupka, or I don’t remember, forgive me. But that year, that year and that courtyard! It’s true, there really was such a courtyard and such a year!” Oh, how vividly she suddenly felt it all again! And the shooting then, and (God, how did it go?) “Christ’s opinion!” Oh, how strongly, how keenly you feel as a child, for the first time! “Forgive me, forgive me, what is your name, Lieutenant? Yes, yes, you already told me once. Thank you, oh, how I thank you, Osip Gimazetdinovich, what memories, what thoughts you’ve awakened in me!”

All day she went about with “that courtyard” in her soul, and kept sighing and reflecting almost aloud.

Just think, twenty-eight Brestskaya! And now there’s shooting again, but so much more terrible! This is no “the boys are shooting” for you. The boys have grown up, and they’re all here, as soldiers, all simple people from those courtyards and from villages like this one. Amazing! Amazing!

Rapping with their canes and crutches, invalids and non-bedridden patients from other wards came, ran, and hobbled into the room, and started shouting at the same time:

“An event of extraordinary importance. Disorder in the streets of Petersburg. The troops of the Petersburg garrison have gone over to the side of the insurgents. Revolution.”

The little town was called Meliuzeevo. It was in the black earth region.
¹
Over its roofs, like a swarm of locusts, hung the black dust raised by the troops and wagon trains that kept pouring through it. They moved from morning to evening in both directions, from the war and to the war, and it was impossible to say exactly whether it was still going on or was already over.

Each day, endlessly, like mushrooms, new functions sprang up. And they were elected to them all. Himself, Lieutenant Galiullin, and the nurse Antipova, and a few more persons from their group, all of them inhabitants of big cities, well-informed and worldly-wise people.

They filled posts in the town government, served as commissars in minor jobs in the army and in medical units, and looked upon these succeeding occupations as an outdoor amusement, like a game of tag. But more and more often they wanted to leave this tag and go home to their permanent occupations.

Work often and actively threw Zhivago and Antipova together.

In the rain, the black dust in the town turned to a dark brown slush of a coffee color, which covered its mostly unpaved streets.

It was not a big town. From any place in it, at each turn, the gloomy steppe, the dark sky, the vast expanses of the war, the vast expanses of the revolution opened out.

Yuri Andreevich wrote to his wife:

“The disorganization and anarchy in the army continue. Measures are being taken to improve the discipline and martial spirit of the soldiers. I made a tour of the units stationed nearby.

“Finally, instead of a postscript, though I might have written you about this much earlier—I work here alongside a certain Antipova, a nurse from Moscow, born in the Urals.

“Do you remember, at the Christmas party on the dreadful night of your mother’s death, a girl shot at a prosecutor? It seems she was tried later. As I recall, I told you then that Misha and I had seen this girl when she was still in high school, in some trashy hotel rooms we had gone to with your father, for what purpose I don’t remember, at night, in the freezing cold, during an armed uprising on Presnya, as it now seems to me. That girl is Antipova.

“I have tried several times to go home. But it is not so simple. What mainly keeps us here is not the work, which we could turn over to others without any harm. The difficulties are presented by the trip itself. The trains either don’t run at all or come so full that it is impossible to get on them.

“However, to be sure, it cannot go on like this endlessly, and therefore several people who have recovered or have left the service or been discharged, including myself, Galiullin, and Antipova, have decided at all costs to leave starting next week, and, to make taking the train easier, to leave separately on different days.