Don't Explain (21 page)

“You didn't give me a choice,” she reminded Alexis.

“You could have gone home with that hot college guy I set you up with.”

“Do you know his name?” Caitlyn waited for a response, but none came. “Neither
do I. What has happened in our friendship that made you believe that I would go
home with him?” She was beginning to regret bringing Alexis with her, but she
could not do any other event with Margaret alone so soon.

“I just thought that he could help you.”

Caitlyn cut her off, “You thought wrong. I'll get over it. In time. For
now just help me fall out of love and not into some random jerk's bed.”

Alexis sighed, “Fine.”

The rest of the car ride Alexis told Caitlyn about the delicious evening
she had involving a young guy and a jar of maraschino cherries. “I'm glad it
was worth it,” was Caitlyn's only response.

They stood at the doorway, and as she was about to ring the door bell,
Alexis turned to Caitlyn, “We can still ditch this thing and get some
teppanyaki.” Alexis quickly raised and lowered her eyebrows twice to indicate
that it was a better idea and she preferred it. Caitlyn reached past her and
rang the doorbell herself.

Margaret answered the door, smiling ear to eat. “Hi, ladies! I’m so glad
that you decided to come over.” She turned to Alexis and held out her hand.
“Hi, I’m Margaret Black. You must be Alexis. It’s really great to meet you.”

“Yeah.” Alexis gave her a hesitant smile and shook her hand for a moment.

“Please come in. Michael is upstairs preparing the meat for grilling.”
Margaret turned around and flounced up the stairs.

 Alexis held Caitlyn back at the entryway and looked at her with wide
eyes. “Are you serious? No one is that happy.” she said quietly.

“I was, and I would be if I were in her position.” Caitlyn pushed past
Alexis’s extended arm and climbed the stairs and walked into the kitchen.  

Michael stood at the counter making hamburger patties out of ground beef.
He turned his head when Caitlyn and Alexis entered. “Hi, there. You ladies up
for some burgers?”

Caitlyn nodded, and Alexis glared at him.

“Well, I’m going to go put these on the grill. Margaret, why don’t you
get them something to drink?”

Margaret smiled warmly at him. “Of course. I’m sorry. I should have
offered right away.”

Michael stepped outside while Caitlyn looked from her friend, who had not
removed the grimace from her face, to the hostess, who had not removed the
smile from hers. Alexis was right. Nothing good could come of this. Alexis
wouldn’t let it. As hard as Margaret would try to accommodate them, she
wouldn’t be able to satisfy Alexis unless she left for good.

Caitlyn contemplated leaving, but she couldn’t come up with an excuse to
go. She even prayed that her mother would call to ask her to do some menial
task that her mother could probably do herself, but her phone didn’t ring when
she willed it to.

“So, Margaret,” Caitlyn began as they all sat down at a picnic table with
their drinks on the back deck, “have you found a job yet?”

Margaret shook her head. “No. I’m not going to get a job right away. With
a baby coming, it would be complicated to get maternity leave. I guess in that
way marrying a doctor has its benefits because we don’t need the money.”

“Isn’t Michael just starting a practice? That’s not guaranteed income,”
Alexis said, folding her arms across her chest.

“True, but we both have savings, and I’ll help him with the start up
answering phones and stuff. Maybe in a couple of years when the baby can go to
preschool, I’ll think about starting a practice here. Maybe it could be in the
same office as Michael.” Margaret gave them a bright smile and sipped her
lemonade.

Caitlyn shot a look at Michael, who caught her eye briefly before turning
his attention back to the grill. For someone that claimed he didn’t want to be
with Margaret, he was planning on spending a lot of time with her.

Margaret’s phone rang, and she looked at it briefly before holding it up
and saying, “Excuse me. I’ll be right back.” And with the same overly
enthusiastic tone, she said, “Hi, why are you calling?” before entering the
house and closing the sliding door behind her.

When she returned a minute later the conversation turned banal—house
prices and tile versus hardwood floors versus carpet type stuff. Caitlyn was
glad. She didn’t want to hear much more about Michael and Margaret’s happily
ever after, and if Alexis was fighting Margaret on the benefits of tile, she didn’t
sound like the bitch that was brewing inside of her. Alexis kept kicking
Caitlyn to jolt her out of her thoughts.

They ate the hamburgers that Michael cooked with his own special
seasonings and smothered in fresh-roasted green chiles.

When Alexis finished her meal, she threw her napkin on her plate and
asked, “May I use your bathroom?”

Michael gave her directions and she excused herself.

Caitlyn smiled at the couple and didn’t say anything. There was nothing
to say. No questions to ask that she wanted to know the answers to, except if
it felt nice to have Michael’s hand on your thigh all through dinner, but she
didn’t figure that was appropriate to ask.

Alexis appeared again, too quickly. She looked only at Caitlyn. “I need
your help,” she said and then disappeared again.

Caitlyn shied away from the suspicious looks her hosts were giving her
and quietly excused herself from the table to follow Alexis to the bathroom.
She moved to the hallway to find Alexis beckoning her to come quickly and jumping
up and down.

“What the hell are you doing?” Caitlyn scolded her friend with a hushed
tone.

Alexis pointed into the bathroom and murmured, “Get in there.”

Both women went into the bathroom, and Alexis closed and locked the door
behind her. “You have to see this.” Alexis moved to the counter, grabbed a
small plastic container, and handed it over.

Caitlyn took the bottle and turned it to read the label: “Easy and Clear
Ovulation Strips.” She was befuddled. “What the hell is this?”

“I think it’s pretty clear.”

“Why would they have ovulation strips? No one could possibly be ovulating
in this household.” She pushed past Alexis and glanced in the trash, but it was
empty. “Are these yours?”

“No.”

“This is a very serious accusation. If you're doing this to get me away
from Michael…”

“It would be a terrible plan, and I wouldn’t lie to you. Those are not
mine. They were on the counter. I came in here and put my purse on the counter,
and I heard something drop to the floor. So I looked around to find what had
fallen, and it was that.” Alexis was visibly excited. She was shaking her hands
at the wrists vigorously, and she sounded like she might hyperventilate. “She
is faking it! She’s a liar, and I knew it. No one is that happy or that
perfect.”

“Shut up!” Caitlyn smacked her on the shoulder. “They might hear you.
Where were these?” Alexis took the bottle from her and put it back on the
counter.

“Get out or I'm going to pee myself.”

Caitlyn left closing the door behind her, but she remained in the
hallway.
She is faking it.
The thought repeated over and over in Caitlyn's
head. She tried to dismiss it. Wished it wasn't true, but it seemed to be the
only explanation. She made up the pregnancy and was now trying to make it true.
Why would she do this? Who would think this was a good idea? Caitlyn was
suddenly struck with the fact that realistically this didn't make any sense.
The idea was full of holes. She finally settled on it being an impossibility
but felt sick about her conclusion.

She was so lost in her thought that she didn't see Margaret coming up the
hallway, but she arrived just as Alexis was leaving the bathroom. Both were
startled by her appearance.

“Are you done in there? Margaret looked at them suspiciously and then looked
past them into the bathroom.

Caitlyn nodded as Margaret clasped a hand over her mouth and darted past
her, slamming the door behind her.

Alexis crossed her arms under her breasts and said, “She overacts.”

Caitlyn was stunned, and Margaret's actions only seemed to confirm the
alarming thoughts she had dismissed. She walked down the hallway with Alexis,
who suddenly couldn’t stop smiling, into the living room where Michael stood.
Should she say something to him about this? No. There wasn't enough
information. The only way to be sure was to confront Margaret.

“Is everything okay?” Michael looked at the women strangely.

Caitlyn struggled to find a reason that they would both need to be in the
bathroom at the same time, but Alexis hastily answered, “Of course.” She held
her hand next to her mouth as if she were telling him a secret and confided, “Women
stuff.”

Alexis had lied by omission. It was the only time Caitlyn could ever
remember Alexis lying at all. She figured that Alexis would want to spill
everything, immediately, but she didn’t. There was a reason. She was planning
something.

They all were heading back to the kitchen when Caitlyn heard the bathroom
door open. “It's my turn,” she exclaimed and headed back down the hallway. She
turned into the bathroom and softly closed the door. She looked at the counter,
but the container was gone. “Damn it,” she whispered. She flushed the toilet
and washed her hands for good measure and then quietly exited the room.

Caitlyn walked back into the kitchen and sat down to find that Alexis was
beginning to have trouble controlling herself.

“You don't look like your belly's getting bigger. How far along are you?”

Caitlyn attempted to change the subject. “That’s a pretty necklace,
Margaret.”

Margaret looked down at the simple, rectangular locket that hung from her
neck. “Thank you, Caitlyn. It was a gift from the nurses in the children’s wing
at the hospital. It has a picture of the children in it.” Then she turned her
gaze to Alexis and smiled. “I'm fifteen weeks, and I am getting a little belly.”
Margaret stood up and pulled her sea foam green fitted sweater tight against
her abdomen and pushed out her belly as far as it would go. With each breath
the belly rose and fell so that Caitlyn could tell that she was faking at least
some of it. Margaret grazed her hand over her stomach and looked at Michael
smiling, “I guess it won't be long until I'm huge.”

Michael smiled back at her.

Caitlyn bit her bottom lip to keep herself from saying anything stupid.
She closed her eyelids forcefully but slowly. She hoped that when she opened
her eyes again they would be less wide with shock. She failed.

“So does the doctor stick the duck bill in every time you go for a visit
or is…”

Alexis was interrupted with a smack on the shoulder and a strained
protest from Caitlyn. She looked at Michael and Margaret and began to
apologize, but Alexis began defending herself.

“What? She's the only pregnant person I've ever known.”

When she said the word “pregnant” she slightly shook her head. Caitlyn
didn't know if it was on purpose or if she did it subconsciously. Caitlyn
immediately looked at the pair across the table, but they didn't seem to notice.

“I wanna know what happens. What the hell is wrong with that?”

Margaret, who was now sitting, crossed her arms under her chest. “How
else is she supposed to check me?”

Caitlyn saw Michael narrow his eyes at Margaret with a confused look on
his face. Alexis, who apparently also saw the interaction, smiled big as if she
had done something very good. When Michael looked back across the table, she
dropped the grin immediately.

“How about your boobs? Are they bigger? Firmer?” Alexis turned to Michael
and winked, “Don't be afraid to jump in on this one.”

Caitlyn had to get out of this immediately, so she intuitively yelled, “Oh,
no!”

It worked; all six eyes were staring at her. She jumped up from her seat.
She searched her mind for an excuse to get the hell out of there as quickly as
possible. “The cat!”

Alexis looked at her as though she had just completely lost her mind, “Sweetie,
you don't have a cat.”

She couldn't just go along with it.

“A stray one.” She hesitated. Caitlyn honestly had no idea what she was
going to say until it left her lips. “I left it in my bathroom.”

Michael was now staring at her incredulously. “You hate cats,” he said.

“It was a kitten. They're kinda cute, right?” She hoped someone would
confirm this for her. She assumed other people thought kittens were cute, and
the consequence of that was they eventually had to deal with a stupid cat. “It
looked cold. So, I put it in my bathroom before I left. I need to let it out.”

Alexis rose from her chair. “Okay,” she said very slowly. “Thanks for
dinner, Michael.”

“Yeah, thanks. See you later.” Caitlyn grabbed Alexis by the wrist and
pulled her out of the house with a speed and determination neither knew was
possible.

The drive home was torture for Caitlyn. When they got to the car Alexis
burst into a tirade about Margaret being a horrible person. Caitlyn drove in
silence, listening only occasionally to the abuse Alexis lay on Margaret. When
Alexis came to the conclusion that they must be having tons of sex because
Margaret would want to get pregnant as soon as possible, Caitlyn sternly told
her to stop.