Don't Let Go (37 page)

Oh, holy crap. I started unbuttoning his shirt with trembling fingers, trying to keep from just ripping it apart.

“Are you saying that you want me?” I asked, smiling up at him, attempting cute through my haze of lust.

Electricity emanated off him, like we’d spark if we rubbed together too much. Oh, I was all about finding that out. I almost had those damn buttons undone, and I needed him. I needed skin.

“I’m saying I really planned on making love to you slow and sexy, but—”

The last button gave way and I went for his chest with my mouth, cutting off his words as he sucked in a breath. He tasted as amazing as he smelled. I couldn’t do slow. I was about to derail.

“Oh, God, Noah, please,” I said against his chest, my nails raking down his abdomen as I set to work on his jeans.

“Holy fuck,” he growled, his fingers tangling in my hair as he grabbed my head and tugged it back. “I need you, Jules.”

“I need you
now
,” I said, my voice sounding odd and animalistic to my ears. “Please, let’s do slow later.”

Noah’s mouth came down on mine with a smile. “God, I love you,” he breathed, ridding himself of his jeans in two seconds flat.

Skin to skin, his kisses diving deeper, his hands roaming my body, I lit on fire. I couldn’t get close enough. One lift and I was up and wrapped around him, hard body in front of me and hard bedpost at my back.

His shoulder muscles rippled as he held me in place and his expression was all fire as he looked into my eyes.

“Say it again,” he said through his teeth, playing on my words in a much hotter way.

I moved against him, his hair in my hands. “I love you.”

Growling desire, his fingers found me, and as I moaned and bucked with arousal at his touch, he thrust into me.

Oh, God, finally. We both cried out, the sounds foreign and primal as we finally got what we wanted. His fingers dug into my thighs as he slammed into me again and again. The post punished my back, but all I could feel was the exquisite torture of riding a building wave. And all I could see was my Noah. My Noah. His face contorted with exertion and ecstasy as he rode that wave with me. It didn’t take me long. My body started to shake uncontrollably as I reached the top and digging into his shoulders wasn’t enough. I arched into it, reaching over my head to the bedpost behind me as it twisted me out of control.

Crazy noises came from my throat, from somewhere I’d never visited before. Noises of losing control. Screaming his name. It was taking me over. Through it all, I heard him rumbling and cursing and then it was hitting him. His whole body shook as he pounded me harder and let out his own roar of release.

We came down together, slowing down, my arms wrapped around his head, our bodies slick with sweat. Both still trembling and gasping for air, whispering each other’s names. And I was hit with something very exposed. We were one again. After twenty-six years, we were one. I leaned back to take his face in my hands and was touched to the core by the look in his eyes.

“Say it again,” he breathed.

Laughter bubbled up from my chest, and I kissed him, saying the words against his lips.

“I love you.”

“I love you back.”

I would never, ever get tired of that.

“Well, that didn’t take long. So much for foreplay, huh?” he said, a sheepish grin pulling at his lips.

“My living room floor was foreplay, baby,” I said. “I’ve been ready for you ever since.”

He chuckled silently. “Me too.”

“That was hot,” I said.

He leaned his head back to look in my eyes. “Like that, did you?”

“Oh, my God.”

“Well, I’m glad, because I can’t feel my legs anymore,” he said.

“They’re probably off visiting my spine wherever it went to live,” I said, now feeling the bedpost a little more now that the monkey sex wasn’t distracting me.

Laughing, he let go of one leg at a time as we tried to disentangle ourselves and flop onto the bed.

“Think we’re too old for crazy like that?” he asked, threading his fingers through mine.

I looked at his body, and my God he was glorious. There was nothing old there.

“Hell, no,” I said. “In fact, that’s how I want to go out.”

Noah grinned, rolling onto his side. “Banged against a bedpost?”

“When I’m eighty,” I said. “No, eighty-nine. Ninety-five.”

“Damn, we’d better get a gym membership,” he said.

Laughing, I leaned in to kiss him, enjoying the soft slowness of it. His fingers played in my hair as we languished in the moment. God, he was delicious.

“I’ve missed you,” I said softly, kissing him again.

“So have I,” he said, looking into my eyes. “Never have to again.”

It was surreal. “I almost can’t believe we’re here.”

“I can’t believe I finally had sex in this house,” he said, and then grimaced. “Probably a little late to ask if Becca is here, huh?”

I snickered and thumped him in the chest. “Yeah, I wouldn’t be dropping my robe for you on the steps if she were.”

“God, that was hot,” he said, running a hand over my hip as if remembering where his eyes had traveled.

“Way outside my box,” I said on a chuckle. “Never done that before.”

“I’ll let you do it again,” he said, nuzzling my neck.

“Oh, you will, will you?” I said, closing my eyes to enjoy it.

“I’m generous like that,” he said. “Anytime you want is fine.”

I laughed with him and our eyes met for a quiet moment. The feeling was so overwhelming, my whole body tingled with goose bumps.

He noticed and ran a hand over my arm. “You okay?”

“I really thought you were leaving,” I said.

He shook his head. “Never again.”

“I love you,” I said, touching his face, and watching his expression change with the words. He inhaled quickly and blinked, and I knew I always wanted to do that. Keep him surprised and take his breath away.

“I’ve always loved you, Jules,” he said. “I’m sorry for leaving that behind.”

I shook my head. “No more sorries. We move on from here.” I kissed his lips and relished the rush of being able to do that at will. “You’ve had my heart from the first time you ever kissed me till now. Even when I took your ring off, I just closed up everything inside so no one else could go where you’d been.”

“Lord, that tiny ring,” he said, lifting my hand and threading his fingers through mine. “I saved forever to get that tiny little chip.” Noah smiled and kissed my fingers.

“I still have it,” I said.

He looked at me in surprise. “Seriously?”

“Of course,” I said. “What did you think, that I’d throw it away?”

He widened his eyes. “Basically.”

I frowned and shook my head, rolling away. “Hang on a second. Let me show you something.” I got up and strolled naked to my hope chest, which sat under a window and held everything special to me since I was twelve. Inside, under two quilts, multiple boxes of cards and mementos, and all of Becca’s baby stuff, was a small wooden box. I pulled it out and went back to join him, where he still lay propped up on one hand, watching me.

“You’re beautiful, Jules,” he breathed.

I warmed from my scalp on down and smiled at him. “I’m yours.”

I took a little preparatory breath before opening the box that had remained closed for over two decades. The little hinges squeaked as I lifted the lid.

Yellowed paper notes, folded and stacked, were inside. Along with a small black fuzzy box, some Polaroid photos of us being silly and one of me about six months pregnant, a piece of string, my hospital bracelet, and a foil-covered roll of LifeSavers without the label.

Noah picked up the LifeSavers and looked at me in question.

“You bought them for me on the way to the hospital,” I said, causing his eyes to water. “Hey.” I touched his cheek.

“I can’t believe you saved that,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

“It mattered,” I said. I picked up the string and held it to my lips. “So did this.”

Noah grinned and wiped quickly at his eyes. “The real first ring.”

I smiled. “Yep.” I reached for the black box, but he covered my hand.

“I don’t want to see that, baby.”

“Um—okay.”

He blinked and another tear fell out that he whisked away with annoyance. “I made you take that off and bury it away. It’s tainted—it was from an
us
that didn’t get to finish.”

My eyes filled at the emotional words from him. Especially when he picked up the little piece of string and sat up.

Taking my left hand, he started tying it onto my finger, as I watched, unable to speak.

“One day I’m gonna put another ring on this finger. When we’re ready,” he said, clearing his throat of the emotion that was taking over. “That may sound fast, but it isn’t really. We’ve just been on hold for a long time. This time I don’t let go.”

My chin trembled and I tried unsuccessfully to blink back tears as I looked at the little string on my finger again and nervous laughter bubbled up from my chest.

“Is that a proposal?”

“Well, this
is
the proposal string, isn’t it?” he asked.

I laughed and pulled him back down to me, kissing him until it got serious again and he rolled over, pulling me on top of him.

“Mmm,” I said against his chest, loving the feel of his body responding under me. “You know all that noise you made earlier? I’m gonna make you do that again.”

His eyes darkened. “Well, that’s a coincidence. I was thinking the same thing about you.”

“I like the sound of that,” I purred.

“Very slowly,” he said. “Starting with my mouth.”

Holy crap, I was halfway there.

Chapter 25

Thank God I didn’t have to be at the store till nine o’clock. Which I was late for, rolling in around 9:45.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, rushing in the door fifteen minutes before the parade started.

Ruthie was finishing sales and directing people to the hot chocolate on their way out. She gave me an exasperated look as I ran behind the counter to relieve her. I was better there. She was better out on the floor, doing the actual mingling thing.

I got a once-over and a raised eyebrow as she took note of my jeans and white lace sweater.

“Liking this casual thing once you crossed over to the dark side?”

I smiled at a customer as I bagged up her books and thanked her. “A bit tight for time this morning.”

“Doing what?”

When I rang up the next customer without answering, she leaned over in my face.

“Is Patrick back?” she whispered, mischievously.

I scoffed. “No!” Laughing, I said, “Don’t you have people out there to be all festive with?”

After fifteen minutes and a lull in the activity, she hit me up again.

“Okay, chica,” she began, her voice low for the three people still in the store. “You are all glowing and crap, you need to spill—”

Her words stopped abruptly as her eyes fell on my left hand. Grabbing it, she held it up to me as if I needed to be made aware of the violation.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “What the living hell is this?”

“It’s me,” said a voice behind us. We turned to see Noah strolling in, hands in his jacket pockets and a lazy smile on his face.

My bones melted inside me, and it was sheer force of will to stay on my feet. I instantly wanted to curl up all over him and do naughty things.

“Hey,” I said with a smile, my skin tingling all over when he placed a soft kiss on my lips. I think I was trembling. I looked at my hand. Most definitely wiggling a little.

Ruthie’s eyes went back and forth between us, widening progressively. “This is new.”

“Actually, it’s pretty old,” Noah said, patting her shoulder. “Which makes you old, as well. You gonna have a problem with me?”

She frowned like she’d woken up in the wrong movie and twisted her hair up in a messy clip, as if that would clear the fog. “Possibly. You plan on being a dick again?”

Noah grinned. “See, it’s that charm that makes you special.”

“I’m not joking,” she said, smiling for the minimal public but shooting ice daggers from her eyes. “I don’t know what happened between yesterday and today, and I’m pretty sure I’ve missed something key, but if you’re coming in here with PDAs and doing this again”—Ruthie lifted my hand with the string still around my finger—“you’d better damn well not be messing around.”

My personal mama tigress. I loved Ruthie.

Noah’s face got serious. “Do I look like I’m messing around?”

“Found that I’m not a great judge of character when it comes to you,” she said, her eyes narrowed. “So I don’t know.”

“I’ll have to prove my intentions then,” he said.

“We’ll see.”

“Wow,” I said. “Y’all realize I’m right here, right?”

A smile entered his eyes as he looked at her, oblivious to what I’d said. “Hmm, a challenge, Ruth Ann.”

She gave him a sarcastic smile. “Lots of heavy books in here to pummel you with. Don’t test me.”

“I’ll restrain myself,” he said.

“Just don’t be a dick,” she said.

“I won’t,” he said.

“Then we’re good.” She picked up some bestsellers from a display and started to walk up front with them, displaying them for effect before the parade started. “You’re sure?” she asked me, pausing as she passed.

I smiled and hugged her with her arms full of books. “I’m positive. And hey, I need to talk to you later. Before we leave tonight.”

“That sounds ominous.”

I shrugged. “Not ominous. Just a thought.”

Outside, the parade was beginning, and thanks to a pretty day we could prop the doors open a bit so people could mill.

“Snowflakes,” Noah said on a laugh. “Never understood that.”

“Oh, don’t even get me started,” I said.

“Still a skeptic?” he said. “I remember it snowing the day Seth was born.”

The pang to my gut was still there, but followed by a face. A happy face.

“Yes, and today it’s now over fifty degrees and sunny. So I don’t see snow in our future. It’s not like Groundhog Day.” I scoffed. “I see a lot of melted soap later.”

“Supposed to get cold tonight, though,” Ruthie said. “Saw it on the forecast. Big blast coming through.”