Don't Lie to Me (17 page)

When I opened them, I blinked a few times, shocked Marcus was still on his knees. He looked worried and happy at the same time if that was even possible.

“
You can’t marry me just because I’m pregnant.”

One side of his lips twisted up into a playful smile. “No, but I can marry you because I love you and want to be with you forever, now I just don’t have to wait any longer.”

I thought of how much I loved Marcus. We had dated for two years already, meeting during our second year of college and instantly became fast friends. That friendship changed at a Halloween party and we began dating after I lost a bet during a game of beer pong and had to go on one date with him. One date changed to two….and soon we were a couple. I loved him. He loved my parents and they loved him. And he loved me. And instead of running, or being angry, he was on his knees in front of me, asking me to rush off to Vegas to get married. It was romantic. I couldn’t say no.

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. I smiled and nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

I threw my arms around him and we fell back to the floor as I fell on Marcus and tipped him off balance.

He moved his hands to my cheeks, holding my face so I was just a few inches from him and smiled at me, happily. “I love you Emma. Marry me.”

“
Okay, Marcus. I’ll marry you.”

He pulled me down close to him and my lips touched his. Our kiss was soft and gentle, but soon I felt the familiar stirring in my belly as we moved together on my kitchen floor.

“Damn it!” I shouted and jumped up from my chair. I paced around my small living room feeling like a caged lion, upset at myself for remembering. I didn’t want to remember how much I loved Marcus or how wonderful he had been. He left me and allowed his dad to pay me off and I never heard from him again.

I balled my hands into fists as my blood began to boil inside me. Anger was good. I could handle anger; I needed to be angry with him still. I needed to forget.

I jumped at the shrill sound of my cell phone ringing and ran to pick it up. It was Jack. For a second, I thought about ignoring it but I figured he’d probably stalk over here in the middle of the night and show up pounding on my door like he did last week. Best to avoid that again.

“Hey Jack.” My words came out slurred and I looked at the wine bottle. It was almost empty. No wonder why I suddenly felt so dizzy.

“Are you drunk, Emma?” He sounded pissed. Just what I needed on top of everything else.

“Probably a little. What do you want, Jack? I said we’d talk tomorrow.” I didn’t mean to sound bitchy, but I was exhausted and all of a sudden my bed felt like a really good place to be.

“I need to see you. Can I come over?” His voice sounded softer. Maybe he wasn’t pissed after all. Maybe, he was just worried about me. It was sweet; him needing me, since I knew Jack needed no one. It made me feel safe and protected. I desperately needed to feel safe.

“Sure…” Before I finished my sentence, I heard a quiet knocking on my door. “Are you at my door?” I didn’t bother trying to hide the smile, even though he couldn’t see it.

“Answer your door, babe.” He hung up, chuckling softly.

Jack looked like shit and I frowned when I saw him. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, that fit perfectly, but his eyes were tired and there were lines of stress around his eyes and his forehead that weren’t there when I left him several hours ago. His hair was sticking up in all sorts of directions.

Before I could even ask him why, his strong arms picked me up and held me in his arms. I relaxed immediately, wondering how could he make me feel so safe and calm when just a few minutes before I had felt like scratching all the walls like a wild animal. But he did that to me, and I liked it. I needed it.

He buried his head in between my neck and shoulder, kicked the door closed with one foot, and carried me to the couch without saying a word. I just breathed him in because he smelled so good and I needed him as close as possible. Who knew what he would do once he found out my news.

Once he had me curled up like a little doll in his lap with my arms still wrapped tightly around his neck, he slowly brushed my hair out of my face. His eyes were softer, more caring than I had ever seen them.

It suddenly hit me – Jack cared about me. I wasn’t just sex or a fling or an employee to him. He really had been telling me the truth that he cared about me and wanted me. I could see it in the depth of his brown eyes as he stared straight into mine. His were filled with worry and fear and I wanted to ease all of his concerns, but I knew that I was just about to add to them.

“Are you okay?” he asked me slowly.

I shook my head. Realizing that Jack truly cared about me was shocking enough on its own accord. I tried to bury my head into his chest to feel safe again because him just asking that question reminded me of all the things I wanted to forget. I didn’t want to talk about this now. Actually I didn’t want to talk about it ever, but I knew I was going to have to.

The hand that was holding my hair cupped my cheek and pulled me back so I had to look directly at him. “Does Marcus know about Logan?”

My eyes widened in shock. My entire body felt like it was being shocked a thousand lightning bolts and my stomach flip-flopped making me feel nauseous.

“What? How did you know?” I asked breathlessly.

Jack frowned. “It took me awhile. I talked to him over dinner and watched him, trying to figure out why he would upset you so much. The entire time thinking he looked so vaguely familiar. After dinner, Martin said something about you working for me and he did this little twitching thing with his nose. It reminded me exactly of what Logan does when we play video games. He’s Logan’s dad, isn’t he?”

I let out the deepest breath I have ever breathed in my entire life. It wasn’t out of relief, either. I removed my arms from around Jack and wiggled out of his arms and off his lap. My body felt all sorts of itchy as I began pacing my room, knowing I was going to have to explain this.

I took another swig from the wine bottle and forcefully set it back down on the table. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

“Fuck…you need to start talking because my mind is spinning in a thousand directions and all I want to do is go kick Marcus’s ass right now for putting this look of fear on you.”

When I turned to him, he had his elbows resting on his knees but he looked anything but relaxed. His hands were tightened into fists and I could feel the anger rolling off him. I had no doubt he meant every word; consequences be damned.

I ran a shaking hand through my long hair. “Yes, Marcus is Logan’s dad. And no – neither of them know.”

I felt like I should feel relieved. In all the years I worked for Jack the subject of Logan’s dad came up periodically, but all I ever told Jack was that his dad left when I was pregnant. Which was true obviously, but there was so much more to the story and now it was all going to come out. I wanted to feel the weight lifted off my shoulders from hiding something from him, but instead the weight just felt like it was crushing my chest making it hard to breathe.

Jack hissed in a deep breath, his already stressed eyes flashing in anger.

“There’s more,” I said and sat down on a chair across from Jack, putting as much distant in between us as possible. I rubbed my hands together to make them stop trembling like I had just chugged a pot of coffee but it was no use. I nervously ran my fingers through my hair, before forcing my hands to settle in my lap. Jack’s eyes never left mine. He sat there, just watching me – waiting for me to tell him the story.

“Marcus and I dated for two years before I got pregnant. When I finally told him, he asked me to marry him.”

Jack’s head collapsed into his hands and he rubbed his hair roughly, making it look even more crazy. He muttered an entire string of obscenities so vile it would make a sailor blush. He looked at me, finally, with his lips pursed into a straight white line. “Did you love him?”

I nodded hesitantly.

“Do you still….love him?” He choked out the question as if it brought him physical pain. Hearing the question made me want to throw up all over again.

“God no! Marcus must have told his dad about us, because the night we were supposed to leave for Vegas, Senator Whitmore showed up at my apartment that I shared with Macy at the time. He handed me an envelope filled with cash.” I looked away and felt the tears burning the back of my eyes at the memory of the Senator’s icy black eyes. He looked at me like I was nothing more than the dirt on the bottom of his shoe and treated me so much worse. “He paid me twenty-five thousand dollars to get an abortion and told me Marcus didn’t want to see me anymore.”

“Holy fuck. You’re kidding me.” I thought Jack’s head might explode from the news.

I shook my head. “I’m not. I didn’t do it obviously…..but it wrecked me for a long time, that he just walked away when he promised me so much.” I looked at Jack’s eyes and wondered what he would think of me for the next part. “I kept the money. For a while I thought of burning it, or returning it. But I was so angry that I decided to say ‘screw ‘em.’ They could afford it and I needed it. I got so sick with morning sickness that I could barely go to school and eventually I dropped out. That was when Macy finally talked to you about me.”

“That was a lot of money – you didn’t need to come work for me then. Why did you?”

“I put the money in an account and refused to touch it unless it was an emergency. I figured it would at least pay for Logan’s school down the road or something, but there wasn’t any way in hell I was going to use their money for me.”

We sat there quietly for several minutes not saying anything, but my mind was spinning from finally telling Jack about Marcus, and wondering what he thought of me.

Jack finally spoke first. “That explains a lot. Actually.”

“What do you mean?”

He shook his head like he was trying to clear it of something. “Marcus isn’t close to his dad anymore. He said he has nothing to do with him and hasn’t spoken to him in years. It just makes me wonder if it’s all connected.”

“But you said you wanted his connection to politics – last week, when you told me about the new lawyer you brought on.”

He nodded and smiled lightly. “I do….but Marcus has made a name for himself on his own merit. I don’t need the connection to the Senator, necessarily. The name on its own is powerful enough.” He stared at me with hauntingly dark eyes and I knew he was angry all over again. “And I wouldn’t want to be connected to him now after hearing all that shit. Jesus, Emma – he treated you like ---“

“I know,” I snapped. I didn’t want to hear the word whore or trash or whatever vile thing he was going to say. “Will this change anything about Marcus working for you?”

He closed his eyes tightly and when he opened them again, his professional mask of indifference was in place. “You let me worry about Marcus. And let me worry about taking care of you. I won’t let them hurt you again….as long as you promise me you don’t have feelings for Marcus anymore.”

“Can I feel hatred and extreme loathing?”

He chuckled softly. “Sure babe.” He stood up slowly and walked towards me. When he reached me, he stuck out his hand. I grabbed it and let him pull me to my feet.

“Let me take you to bed.” He looked at me through hooded lashes and suddenly I saw the desire and want he had for me. I wanted him too and it made my head spin. How could I go through so many emotions in one night and then want him so fiercely with one simple look?

We walked to my bedroom and got undressed in complete silence. This wasn’t the quiet of Jack needing control, though. He crawled into my bed and I frowned when I noticed he was wearing his boxers.

He laughed at me and pulled me to him, wrapping an arm around me in an intimate gesture. It was comforting and felt strange. I wanted to be held and comforted, but Jack wasn’t the comforting kind of guy. I was used to controlling and wanting and predator Jack. This soft side threw me for a loop.

“I need you,” I whispered into his ear right before I gently began sucking on his earlobe. I moved down his neck, and smiled against him as I felt his excitement begin to grow and a deep groan escape his throat.

His arm tightened around my waist, but he slowly pulled away.

He rejected me.

“I’m not screwing you tonight. You’ve had too much to deal with and you drank almost an entire bottle of wine.”

I nuzzled my nose against his chest. I needed to forget. I just wanted Jack to make me forget. I moved down just a bit and licked around his nipple, smiling as his body responded to me even if he wouldn’t. He might be able to push me away, but he wanted me.

He growled and threw me back down on the bed. I smiled in victory but it was short lived when he stared down at me.

“I’m not fucking you tonight, Emma.” He roughly pressed his mouth against me and ground his erection into my crotch. “Now go to bed….we have more shit to talk about tomorrow with all of this and I need to get out of here before Logan wakes up.”

I frowned at the thought of him leaving. “I don’t want you to leave,” I whispered, hoping he wouldn’t verbally reject me again.