Don't Read in the Closet: Volume Four (116 page)

Kate Sherwood – TAKEN (Friends-to-Lovers, Hurt/Comfort)

Genre:
contemporary

Tags:
friends-to-lovers, hurt/comfort

Dear Author,

Words:
7,349

I’ve known him for ages.

TAKEN

[PHOTO: Two young men

lie in a tangle of white

by Kate Sherwood

sheets. The nearer man is

“Ah, fuck!” Cody moaned, and he fought to

asleep facing us, arms

wrapped around his pillow.

keep his body still, his ass at the exact same

Behind him, his lover

angle, so that with the next stroke… “Oh, Jesus,

watches him, lean naked

Tristan, just… Oh, yeah…”

body braced up on one

elbow, his dark eyes fixed

“Like this?” Tristan asked. He was a little

on his lover’s still form, his

out of breath but Cody could still hear the

mouth just slightly curved

teasing in his voice. “You want it like this?”

up in affection.]

Forever, really. Or, at least

“Shut up, you… oh… you smug bastard…

since the first day of

oh, fuck, yeah… yeah…”

kindergarten, when he stole

my Lego’s, then shared his

“You need to watch that potty mouth,

cookies with me when he

Code.”

realized he’d made me cry.

“Fuck you… oh, fuck…”

He was my best friend. The

first person I came out to.

“Fuck
you
, I think you mean.” Tristan was

My entire support system in

too controlled, too smug, too… oh, Jesus, too

high school when no one

would come near me for feel

perfect at this. Cody stopped even trying to

of catching “gay cooties” or

have coherent thoughts, stopped trying to

AIDS.

maintain any level of dignity, and gave in to the

He’s the guy I gave my

sensations. Every stroke of Tristan’s beautiful

virginity to. The guy who

cock brought Cody closer to the edge, but he

taught me to fuck. The guy

who taught me to be safe.

fought it, tried to hold it off, tried to keep

He doesn’t know it, but he’s

himself on the perfect, exhilarating precipice for

also the guy who taught me

just a little longer…

to make love.

“Oh,
fuck
…” he managed, and then his

I’m the guy he goes home

with when there’s no better

voice was lost as his orgasm washed over him

prospect at the club.

and swept him away with it.

It was never supposed to be

serious. I knew that, I even

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 709

He was vaguely aware of Tristan still

wanted that. I’m the one

who broke the rules.

slamming away, but by the time Cody was

coherent enough to do anything to help, Tristan

So, dear author, how do I

watch him go home night

was shuddering, his fingers spasming on Cody’s

after night with the pretty

hips as he drove deep one more time and then

boy - or man - du jour, when

stilled.

all I want is for him to come

home with ME, and to stay?

Tristan slumped over Cody’s back and

Sincerely,

nuzzled in so that his stubbled cheek was

against the sensitive skin of Cody’s neck.

VJ

“Damn, Code. Why don’t you
always
bottom?”

Cody snorted and shifted away, Tristan

lifting himself enough to let Cody roll over onto

his back. “Yeah. ‘Cause you need another

reason to go strutting around like you’re the top

stud of the city.”

“Code, I can still strut even after I bottom —

your dick isn’t big enough to leave much of an

impact, you know.” Tristan leaned over and

lifted the bottle of beer off the nightstand, took

a swallow, and then offered the bottle to Cody.

Cody took the beer and sat up enough to

drain the last bit without spilling it all over

himself. He didn’t bother to respond to

Tristan’s insult; they’d been maligning each

other’s dicks since puberty, but it had never

seemed to stop either of them from taking

pleasure in what the other had to offer.

“Hey, did you meet Matt’s new friend from

work? Sean?” Tristan nodded in satisfaction. “I

think I’m in there. I totally could have closed

the deal tonight, but he left early.”

Cody tried to keep his body relaxed. It

wasn’t like he’d been fooling himself about

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 710

what this was. Not anymore. “If he left early, that doesn’t sound like

he was all that into you.”

“Nah, he was. He was just being coy, or something. Playing hard

to get. But he had his hand on my thigh for, like, half-an-hour right

before he left. Like,
upper
thigh. There was contact with the

unmentionables, if you know what I mean.”

“’Unmentionables’ are underwear, Tristan. It’s not really that

exciting if he touched your underwear.”

“Okay, Mr. English Major. He was touching my junk, is that

better?”

“He touched it, and then left? Damn — that sucks, man. I mean…

you’re not
that
small. I’m sure you could have found a way to make it

work.”

“Code, that line would be a hell of a lot more effective if I hadn’t

just
fucked you into a hands-free orgasm.” Tristan took a moment to

enjoy his victory, then swung his legs over the side of the bed.

“You’re still on for tomorrow, right? Kelly’s barbecue?” He was

looking for his underwear; Cody didn’t bother to point out that it was

still bunched up with his jeans.

“Yeah.” He wanted to say something. Wanted to reach over, pull

Tristan back into the bed, snuggle into him and hold on. He wanted to

keep Tristan there forever, just the two of them, talking and fooling

around and then talking some more. “You want to stick around? We

could watch some TV, have another round…” God, he was pathetic,

waiting there like a damn puppy hoping its owner would give it a

scratch behind its ears.

“Nah. I should go. You need your beauty sleep, after all. Like, you

really
need it.” Tristan found his underwear and stood to pull it on,

and Cody let himself stare a little. Tristan was beautiful. So beautiful

it hurt to look at him, sometimes, but it was the kind of hurt that Cody

couldn’t stay away from.

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“I can’t do this anymore.” Jesus. Cody really hadn’t known he

was going to say that. He’d thought about it, sure, but he hadn’t made

a decision, had he? Or at least, he hadn’t found the strength to follow

through on the only decision that made any sense.

Tristan was giving him a weird look. “Can’t do what?”

Cody wanted to back down. God, he wanted that so much; he

could just say it was nothing, say he didn’t know what he was talking

about. Tristan was used to Cody saying weird things. He wouldn’t

mind. But Cody had been putting off the inevitable for too damned

long, and he needed to see this through. “You and me. I mean —

you’re my best friend. I don’t want that to change. But I don’t think

we should fool around anymore.” Ninety-eight percent of Cody’s

brain was screaming in panicked dismay at the two percent that

seemed to be in control of his mouth. It wasn’t perfect, just being fuck

buddies, but, damn it, it was better than nothing! Better than never

getting to see Tristan’s beautiful body, never getting to touch his

warm golden skin…

Tristan had his jeans on, but sat back down on the bed with his

shirt still in his hands. “What are you talking about? Is this because of

that Seth guy?”

That would be an easy excuse. But if Cody was going to do this,

which apparently he was, then he should do it right. He should be

honest. “Not really. It’s just — I mean, yeah, kind of him. But it’s

more — I — I just — I’m looking for something more. Something

serious. And I don’t think I’m going to find it if I’m still fooling

around with you.”
I’m not going to find it if I’m still in love with you.

Tristan frowned. “So it
is
the Seth guy. I mean — we’ve taken

breaks before, when we’re dating people. That’s okay… the way you

were talking, I thought you meant forever.”

“It’s — okay, A, it’s just ‘Seth’, not ‘the Seth guy’. It’s his name,

not a description or something. And, B — does it not seem fucked up

to you, that you’re just assuming that he and I aren’t going to work

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 712

out, and I’ll be back to fucking around with you in no time? Like,

does that not seem like a pretty unhealthy outlook for a relationship?”

Tristan looked like he was trying to understand. “Yeah, okay. But

— that’s what’s always happened before, right?”

Cody sighed. Yeah, that was what had always happened before.

Because no guy could ever live up to the standard Tristan had set. Not

in bed, certainly, but not out of bed, either. “That’s the problem. I

think I’ve been treating other people like they’re temporary, and

treating this like it’s permanent. I need to — I think I need to get rid of

this, so that I don’t have a backup plan. I have to be willing to put

100% into something new.”

“With Seth.”

“Jesus, Tristan, stop fixating on him. I mean — yeah, maybe. I

don’t know. But that’s not the point. The point is that I want

something more, and I can’t get it from you, and I can’t get it from

anyone else, either, not while I’m still…” Jesus, he’d almost said it.

Almost admitted that he was in love with his best friend. “Not while I

have this to fall back on.”

Tristan had an expression on his face that Cody couldn’t read, and

that was unusual. They’d been friends since kindergarten, since

Tristan had stolen Cody’s Lego and then shared his cookies to make

up for it. Eighteen years later, they’d made it through high school and

university together, they’d dealt with sexual awakenings and

homophobia and every other damn thing, and now Cody suddenly

couldn’t tell what Tristan was thinking? The thought of losing their

emotional bond was even more terrifying than the thought of never

being able to touch Tristan’s body again. Cody couldn’t go through

with it. He had his mouth open, ready to take it all back, but Tristan

stood up abruptly.

“Yeah, okay.” He pulled his shirt on over his head. “I get it.

Okay.” He stood up and looked around for his socks.

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 713

Cody felt a churning pit opening up in his stomach. What had he

done? “But we’re still on for Kelly’s, right? The barbecue?”

There was no pause, no awkward moment, but there was

something almost mechanical about Tristan’s nod. “Yeah. For sure.

But — maybe you want to go with Seth? I can take Sean, or somebody

else — no worries, man, if you want.”

“Well, it doesn’t really matter who drives with who, right? I’ll

give you a call tomorrow, sort it out.” Cody tried desperately to keep

his voice level and relaxed, tried to tell himself that everything was

still fine.