Don't Read in the Closet: Volume Four (86 page)

heart pounded painfully in his chest. “He needs what I can’t give

him,” he said solemnly, almost too quietly for Gordon to hear.

“And that was my fear from the moment I saw you. As I said,

your reputation precedes you. But he needs you now. That kiss…”

“Oh no!” Devon’s breath came in gusts from his chest, his head

dizzy. “I didn’t know. If I would have known, I wouldn’t have…”

“It’s too late for regrets. Accept it and him. You know what will

happen to him if you do not.”

“I didn’t ask for this,” Devon said, jumping from the chair. He

looked frantically around and eyed the backdoor. “I need to go. I need

to think. Tell him I had an emergency.”

Gordon opened his mouth to tell Devon to stay, but before he

could speak, the backdoor was standing open and Devon was long

gone.

“Where did Devon go?”

Gordon closed the door and pasted a smile on his face before

looking at Anson. “He had something to take care of. He is very

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happy and wants to take care of everything he can before leaving. So,

it’s you and I. Are you ready?” He studied Anson’s face, seeing the

sadness in his eyes. The small frown on his lips was something he

couldn’t remember seeing there before, and that bothered him. Anson

always smiled. It was disheartening to see him like this.

“Anson, turn over and drink your soup. You’re getting weaker;

you need to eat something. Please, do this for me.” After he and

Anson had spent the day at the waterfalls, Anson’s health began

declining at an alarming rate. A week had passed since Devon’s visit

and Anson never once asked about him. Gordon was worried and

more than upset with Devon, but at the same time, he understood how

scared the other angel must be. It wasn’t every day you’re told your

mate is a submissive angel who would need a lot of attention. And to

an angel like Devon, a Healer, that in itself was a huge responsibility.

It would mean drastically reducing his hours or giving up his calling

altogether.

“It hurts to eat.” Anson curled up and wrapped his arms around

his legs, holding them close and pretending that Devon was the one

holding him. All he’d thought of since that one night was the angel

whose eyes set him afire. And to see him walking hand in hand with

another angel near the Falls of Thoughts the day after he’d left

without so much as a word, tore through Anson like a speeding comet,

all hopes of their future together gone in seconds. The only image he

saw in his dreams was of Devon holding another angel in his arms.

“You’re losing weight, Anson. Stop behaving like a child; you’re

a grown angel, act like it!”

Anson pulled the blanket over his head, wishing Gordon would

leave him alone. Even the slightest of movements hurt from head to

toe. “Go away and leave me alone.”

“Are you trying to prove a point here?”

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He needed Devon—his touches, his kisses, his smiles, his

everything. Without Devon, Anson was nothing. “Please, leave me

be,” he whimpered. He felt the blanket being pulled off him. He tried

to make himself smaller, less of a target, but little good it did when

Gordon grabbed his foot and pulled him off the bed. He landed on the

floor with a hollow thud. “Gordon, please don’t. It hurts.”

“I am not going to sit idly by and watch you destroy yourself over

him. You are a fighter and you will beat this. You are not a weakling.

It’s time to fight back.”

Anson lay unmoving and closed his tired eyes. The rate at which

his body deteriorated was beginning to take its toll on him. His body’s

calls to his mate went unanswered. Rather than trying to fight it, as

Gordon wanted him to, Anson lay abed all day and night, allowing his

systems to shut down. His mate didn’t want a thing to do with him,

and it was killing him, literally. Anson no longer cared.

“Stand.”

Anson fought to ignore the command. Punishment or not, he was

done. Without Devon, nothing mattered.

“Anson, if I have to repeat myself, you are going to have one hell

of a red ass. And not in a good way either. I am not going to sit by and

watch you do this to yourself over him.”

“I can’t stop it. My heart is bleeding.”

Gordon gasped and dropped to his knees, gathering Anson’s thin

frame in his arms. He wanted to kick his own ass for losing his

patience with the smaller angel. He should have known this was what

was going to happen. “Anson, my sweet, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I

lost my temper. I just hate this. I hate seeing you this way, knowing

there’s not a damn thing I can do to stop it. How long has it been

going on?”

“It started on the flight back from the falls.”

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Gordon, who never swore, swore out loud, picked Anson up, and

laid him on the bed, covering him with the heavy down comforter.

“I’m going to find him. I will bring him back. Please, hold on for me.”

Anson curled up and shook his head, his eyes closing. “Some

never even get to meet their mates,” he replied weakly. “I got to meet

mine and kiss him. It’s enough for me. Please, Gordon, let him be. He

isn’t ready for me.”

“And by the time his stubborn ass gets ready, you’ll be gone from

here. I can’t, no, I won’t accept that.” Gordon fell to his knees and

looked at Anson’s pale face; his once sun-kissed skin was now gray

and cold to the touch. Gordon gently placed his fingers under Anson’s

chin and said, “Promise me you’ll hold on until I come back. Anson,

please?”

Anson drifted off before Gordon said another word.

****

Gordon looked into the rental room Devon stayed in while he was

visiting their level. “May I come in, or are we going to talk out here

where everyone can hear?”

“Now’s not really a good time. I’m, uh…busy.”

Gordon ignored him and pushed his way inside. “This can’t wait.

Did you leave on assignment this week or have you been ‘busy’, as

you put it? Why haven’t you come to see him?”

“I’ve been busy.”

“Is that right? Care to explain to me why you were holding

another angel’s hand?”

Devon looked at Gordon with a serious expression and nodded.

“He’s my best friend’s mate. I was taking him home. Apparently, he

wanted to run away after a heated argument. Why do you ask?”

Gordon sighed and sank into the couch. “Anson saw you. He

believed the angel you were with…”

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“He thought I was cheating already?”

“I must admit, Devon, that the idea did cross my own mind.”

“I did no such thing. Now, if you’re only here to accuse me of

something that never happened, you can leave.”

“Anson’s dying.”

Devon’s body went rigid, the relaxation gone from his features,

immediately. “What do you mean he’s dying?”

“Just what I said. And it’s your fault. He needs you.”

Devon swallowed a couple of times looking for his voice. “Yes,

yes of course. I’ll be right there.”

“It may be too late, but I wanted you to know.” He looked into

Devon’s eyes, and said, “You don’t deserve Anson. It’s a crying

shame Gagda called for your mating to him. You’re worthless.”

Devon felt like the lowest form of scum. He had no words for

Gordon and stood helplessly aside when Gordon shoved him out of

the way. The angel left Devon’s apartment, slamming the door behind

him.

Devon felt panic for the first time in more years than he could

remember. He flew to Anson, and the closer he got to the other angel,

the pull to be with him became stronger. This is why he’d stayed

away. That pulling in his heart was too much to bear. He flew

overhead, circled his mate’s home, and gave into his heart’s calling.

Devon healed the creatures on Domhan all the time, he needed to do

the same for Anson. Even if he couldn’t love him, the little angel

didn’t deserve to pass into the Beyond, simply because Devon was

incapable of giving him what he needed. Gordon landed in the front

yard, and before his wings folded, the front door was thrown open.

“How is he?”

Gordon wiped his eyes and motioned for him to enter the home.

“Is he…?” Devon raced in, not wanting to wait for the answer.

Instead, he ran down the hallway, scanning the rooms as he went and

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headed straight to the room he knew was Anson’s. He flung the door

open and looked into darkness. “Anson? Are you in here?” He felt

along the wall for the light switch. As the light brought the brightly

painted walls into view, his eyes involuntarily closed against the glare.

“Anson?” Devon had never wanted him to come to harm. Once they

were formally mated, he was sure Anson would be happy, so why was

he doing this to himself?

As if Gordon heard his thoughts, he said, “It was not his choice.

You did not read your mate doctrine. You did not take the class either.

I checked. You have little regard for your own kind, yet on the planet

below, you’ve done all you can to assist them and learn their ways.”

“It’s my job,” Devon growled, moving toward the bed.

“Oh, yes, I forgot. And Anson is nothing more than a decoration

for your home. What his needs are seem unimportant. Well, here is

the proof of your selfishness. You did this to him.”

Devon forced himself to the bed, forced his hand to take hold of

the comforter, pulling it back. “Anson?”

In the middle of the bed lay his little angel, huddled with his arms

wrapped around his knees, trying to make himself smaller than he

already was. Devon reached out to brush Anson’s sweaty hair from

his forehead, and Anson screamed. Devon pulled his hand away in

fear, hoping he hadn’t hurt his mate. He walked around to the other

side of the bed so he could see Anson’s face. Devon needed for his

mate to see him, to show him he meant no harm, only to help him

heal. “Anson, it’s me. Please, look at me?” When Anson’s eyes

fluttered opened, Devon, for the first time in his existence, cried. The

silent tears escaped, rolling down his cheeks. He knelt down to better

see the angel he was to mate. “You’re going to be okay. I’m here.”

Devon could find nowhere on Anson’s small, shaking body that had

not been affected by the loss of his life’s blood.

“Please, Anson, I want you to look at me.”

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Devon remained on his knees, looking down at Anson’s thin, wan

face for several minutes, hoping Anson would look at him. He

reached out and touched Anson’s cool, clammy skin. Rising to sit on

the bed beside him, Devon placed his hand as gently as he could atop

Anson’s head and closed his eyes. He focused his healing power on

the other angel’s body, looked for the bright light behind his closed

eyes, and concentrated on turning all his energy into healing his mate.

Anson felt the heat begin to warm the top of his head. At first he

was scared, then realized his dream mate’s touch was like a live

wildfire setting his skin ablaze. The feeling spread down to his neck,

then further still, to his shoulders, arms, and torso. Anson felt as if

he’d been standing under healing waters that infused him with love,

washing away the pain. He moaned in pleasure. His eyes fluttered

open and he whimpered. His angel would disappear now and Anson

didn’t want Devon to leave him in pain. He saw Devon there beside

him still, eyes closed in concentration, lips moving in prayer, and he

sighed. He stared at his mate in awe.

He was a healing Angel—Gagda’s favored among all the angels.

Many of the Healers spent more time on the different planets their

Gagda had created than in Nèamh, for reasons known only to the

Gagda.

“There you are. You had me scared. Are you feeling a little