Double Down (12 page)

She looked up to see Max Ferlita standing in front of her desk.

“Good, because, for you, I have less than a minute.”

He held up his hands. “I’ll be as quick as I can. I wouldn’t be here except I’m on an errand of mercy.”

“Ha.” She sneered. “If it’s on behalf of Branch, he doesn’t deserve any mercy.”

“You’re right. But Lee? This is as much my fault as his.”

She wrinkled her forehead. “How do you figure that?”

“Branch and I have been friends since we were in high school together. We’ve done a lot of stupid things together. Making bets is one of them.”

“Making bets isn’t stupid,” she snapped, “under the right circumstances. Humiliating people is.”

“You’re right. I take full responsibility for initiating this one. He was rocked by you at the picnic and wanted to ask you out. And stunned when I told him you were Mistress Star.”

She glared at him. “How would you know that anyway?”

“Lee, Branch and I both have memberships at Ultra. We have both been practicing Doms for years. I’m sure you’ve at least figured that out about him by now. Anyway, I had a guest pass to Infinity one night and saw you there.”

Lee dug her nails into her palms to keep her temper under control.

“You know you aren’t supposed to disclose information outside the walls of a club without the person’s permission.”

“You’re absolutely right.” He nodded. “My bad. I was just spouting off to my best friend, and the thing snowballed.”

She wanted to smack him.

“I’m sure you both had a good laugh when he regaled you with all the details.”

“Actually, I didn’t get any details, Lee. All he said was he lost the bet. He paid me off. A check to the charity of my choice.”

“What?” Surprise shocked her. “What did you just say?”

“That he told me he lost the bet, and he wasn’t about to divulge any personal details of his relationship with you.” He shook his head. “He’s miserable, Lee. I’ve never seen him like this. All he does is work. He won’t even stay in one place very long. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say he has feelings for you that run very deep, and he’s not good at verbalizing them. But, of course, to find out, you’d have to agree to see him first.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know, Max. This has been—really bad.”

“I agree. It’s just—if you could think about giving him another chance. This has been a painful lesson for him to learn.”

“Are you sure he never told you anything?” she asked.

“Swear to god. So will you think about it?”

“Yes. But I won’t promise anything.”

“Good enough. Thanks for taking the time to listen to me.”

After he was gone, Lee sat at her desk for a long time, staring at the computer screen and seeing nothing. Could she really get past this? See Branch again? Test what they had? She was always going to be Mistress Star, and if he was a Dom—

Still, role reversals had worked for a few couples she knew where both were Dominants.

If only she didn’t miss him so badly. Not even the pain and embarrassment had been able to wipe that away.

She dropped her head into her hands. Why did her life have to be so complicated?

If John Francona hadn’t called her and told her he had a very special sub who had personally requested her, Lee would still be sitting at home watching bad movies and drinking hot chocolate and feeling sorry for herself. John, however, had been very persuasive.

“You’ve been absent for far too long, Mistress Star,” he cajoled. “And I have a guest coming in who has specifically requested someone of your talents.”

“Did he ask for me by name?” Was it someone one of her subs had recommended her to?

“He did. I believe Drew was the one who told him about you.” His voice softened. “Lee, come in for the evening. I don’t know what’s causing you to hide yourself away, but it’s time to come out and play again.”

She sighed. He was right. She couldn’t stay holed up in her house every night for the rest of her life. So now here she was, in her trademark red bustier and thong and her thigh-high boots with the skyscraper heels. John greeted her as she came into the lounge.

“Nice to see you again, Mistress Star. We’ve missed you.”

“Yes, well.” She let out a slow breath. “I’ve had some, shall we say, challenges in my life.”

“Then I hope tonight will be able to help you deal with them.” He lifted a key card from his pocket and handed it to her. “Your sub is ready for you, and waiting.”

She raised her eyebrows. “No meet and greet in the lounge first? That’s unusual. What if I choose not to have a session with him? What if he doesn’t appeal to me?”

John gave her a mysterious smile. “Then you are free to refuse. But I think you’ll be very pleased with this one.”

“Very well. I guess I can trust you on this.”

“Enjoy your evening.” He moved aside to let her proceed down the hallway.

Her fingers shook slightly as she inserted the key card in the slot. When she opened the door, soft music was already filling the air. An aroma lamp dispensed lavender mist in one corner, and all the lights in the room had been dimmed. Except for the spotlights that shone on the board where she’d played with Drew.

Only it wasn’t Drew lying there, immobilized with all the leather straps, skin gleaming with her favorite oil. Instead, she was shocked to see Branch lying there, dark eyes staring at her, watching her. And, for the first time since she’d met him, she saw a hint of uncertainty in his gaze.

For a moment she was tempted to leave, give John back the card, and tell him she’d be back when he was through playing tricks on her. Her curiosity made her draw closer to Branch.

“How did you get them to let you in here? What are you doing here? What do you want?”

His eyes never left her face. “I drove the owner of Ultra nuts until he called John Francona to get me a guest pass. I’ve ben waiting for you, hoping we can pick up where we left off. Or start all over, or whatever you want.”

Suspicion gripped her. “If this is some kind of trick—”

“No tricks.” He chuffed a hoarse laugh. “Believe me, this is not a familiar situation for me. I asked John what things pleased you and whether he would set this up for me. There isn’t another woman in the world I’d let myself be trussed up like a turkey for.”

She looked at his cock, thick and swollen and protruding between the straps over his thighs and groin. She couldn’t stop her smile. “It appears some part of you is happy to see me.”

“All of me is happy to see you.” He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Max told me he went to see you. I want you to know I had nothing to do with that.”

She nodded. “I didn’t think so.”

“When he told me he didn’t believe he made any headway with you, I was desperate. And desperate people do desperate things.”

She wet her lips. “Why didn’t you just forget about me, move on to someone else?”

His gaze burned into her. “I don’t want anyone else, Lee. It took me a while to admit it to myself, probably because I’m such a stubborn ass. I don’t know how to put my feelings for you into words. I’ve spent too many years conditioning myself not to. But I want to try to make a life with you. I want us to be together permanently.”

She narrowed her eyes. A few days ago those words would have meant everything to her. Now she wasn’t sure she could trust them.

“Lee.” Branch’s voice was hoarse with emotions far greater than just sexual need. “Listen to me. I know we have challenges here, with both of us needing control. Other couples have made the same situation work. I also know the last night we were together I gave you pleasure. You enjoyed it as much as I did. Please don’t deny it.”

She couldn’t, so she just kept silent.

“I think we could build a solid relationship. We can create our own version of a power exchange. I want you to know I’m willing to submit to anything you choose to do with me or to me. That’s how much you mean to me.”

“Anything?” she asked.

Inside, her emotions were bubbling like liquid in a hot cauldron.

“Anything,” he repeated.

As if the word acted as some kind of release lever, everything inside her burst forth, all the anguish, all the pain, all the misery and humiliation. She lifted the short crop on the table next to the board, ready to punish him for what he’d done and how he’d made her feel. Only he hadn’t asked for punishment. He had simply told her he was giving her control. That was a privilege, and she would not abuse it. So punishment, no, but pleasure, yes. Definitely yes. Tonight she would be the one controlling his level of desire, taking him to the same erotic journey he’d created for her. Letting out a slow breath she began striking him with the crop, an instrument whose use she had perfected. With measured rhythmic strokes she wielded the crop everywhere, all the places experience had taught her would create the maximum stimulation—his shins, his thighs, his arms, his chest. She struck the exposed skin as well as the leather straps, knowing the impact was made more intense by the bindings. She raised and lowered her arm over and over again while Branch simply lay there not saying a word.

The message in his eyes was
Tonight I am just serving your needs.

Her needs. That was what this was. More than eroticism, though, this was a craving on her part to strip everything else from her system. Then she could admit to herself how much she really wanted him and cared for him.

Loved him.

Loved him? Was that even possible? Could she give that much of herself to someone? It seemed that was exactly what had happened without her actually acknowledging it. The hurt, the shame and humiliation she’d felt were so intense because of the swirl of emotions where he was concerned. Could she admit it out loud?

Exhausted, she tossed the crop to the side, tears running down her cheeks with the monumental release of emotions.

“I hated you,” she told him.

“With good reason.” He had to be in pain, but his voice was steady. Even.

“I never wanted to see you again.”

“I know. I was willing to do anything to change that. I want to be with you, Lee. Forever.”

And that completely undid her. Frantically, she began unfastening all the bindings, letting them just dangle from the board. When he was completely unrestrained, he lifted his arms to her.

“Come here, Mistress Star. Let me hold you.”

She shook her head. “I need to attend to your body first. Please let me.”

He would have argued with her, but she knew he saw the determination on her face. She opened the package of lotion-infused wipes from the little table and eased one over his body, beginning with his collarbone. When one was used up, she yanked out another until she had soothed his entire body. He never took his eyes from her, and, when she finished, he lifted his arms again.

“Now come here and let me hold you. Let me press you to my heart.”

Tears still filling her eyes, she straddled him and pressed herself against his chest. His arms came around her, solid and strong, and she felt the steady beat of his heart.

“I will never be a submissive,” she told him, even as she rubbed her cheek against his.

“Understood.” He nodded. “As long as you also understand I never will be, either.”

She gave a wordless nod.

“But you enjoy the games just as I do,” he continued. “As I will. As we both will. Together.”

“And what happens when that need to control becomes more than one of us can handle?” she persisted.

“We’ll work it out. We’ll set our own rules and adjust them as we go along. Lee, sweetheart, there are many couples who schedule sessions here or at Ultra with someone other than their partner. Let’s just deal with one thing at a time.” He brushed his knuckles across her cheek. “The important thing is that we are together. Permanently.”

“Can we really make it work?” she whispered.

“I’ve seldom been more sure of anything.” He swallowed. “I’ve never told a woman I loved her. I’m not even sure by now I know what it means. But what I feel for you is an emotion so huge I can’t even give a name to it. Please, please believe me.”

Intense emotion choked her. For him to admit his feelings like this to her was huge. Could she do any less? Could she take that step, putting her trust in him? Believe he’d never betray her again?

Yes,
the voice inside her head whispered.
Don’t lose out on this
.

“I-I feel the same,” she whispered. “I had given up believing I’d ever find anything close to what we have, and I don’t want to lose it.”

“Maybe we’ll make our own bets to double down on,” he teased.

Then, his expression completely serious, he threaded his fingers through her hair, drew her face close to his, and took her mouth in a kiss more tender than anything she’d ever experienced. It wasn’t demanding. Rather it was a sharing, a giving, and she gave it right back to him.

When he sucked in an involuntary breath, she suddenly realized that the rough texture of her bustier was abrading the welts on his body left by the crop and tried to push herself away.

“Don’t move.” His arms tightened around her.

“I know I’m hurting you,” she protested. “Those bruises are painful.” She looked away. “I meant them to be.”

He cupped her chin and tilted her head so she was forced to look directly at him. Deep emotion burned in his eyes. “You can attend to my bruises by climbing on my cock. Get rid of that contraption you’re wearing so I can feel your breasts on me. Strip off that thong so I can slide into your pussy, which even now I can feel is wet and waiting for me.”

He ran his thumb along her jawline. “And no, I’m not demanding. Or even ordering.” He brushed his mouth over hers. “Just do it. For me. For us.” He managed a wink. “And leave the boots. They’re hot.”

She literally ripped away the garments, tossing them to the floor, and climbed on him, lowering herself onto his cock. He was right. She was more than ready for him, so wet he glided right into place.

“Ride me, Mistress Star,” he told her in a hoarse whisper. “You will always be Mistress Star to me. Let me be your only Dom.”